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I've not posted for a couple of days and finally got round to it.
Fireworks.
Every time of year this happens, without fail. Kids have stupid, poorly made dummies outside of garages and shops and they say "Penny for the guy?" when you walk past, then get offended when you set fire to it and throw it after them as they run down the street in tears. Well hey, spirit of the festival and all that. Don't jam your free newspaper into the legs of your dad's tracksuit, stick a stinking coat over a dolly and expect me to fork over my cash simply because you want to spend it on glue and Smash Hits stickers. Do what other kids do at other times of the year, steal from each other.
And why do these packrats never injure each other? They lob bangers about car parks and underpasses, yet not one of them will try and see how many he can fit in his toothless feral mouth will he? Why not? Who's gonna mourn this tool if he blows his jaw off? Not his parents, they're too busy screaming at each other on the lawn at 2am because he's "spent all tha fakkin' dole daaahn the fakkin' paaaaaarb".
I want these people put out of my misery.
The Central Line.
Epping car park. 10am. Full.
FULL????? Full because stupid, faceless commuters pack themselves into trains at 7am to slave into the city to make a buck to live on, then ride home shattered and catatonic at 7pm, staring at the floor and wishing they'd followed their heart instead of their mate.
Theydon Bois car park. FULL. Debden car park. FULL.
I have to drive to #####ing Loughton to catch a train to London at 11am to see a fat, bald lying toad about a job.
£24,000 does not sound remotely like £15,000 does it. Does it?
So why then act suprised when the already-late because of assface commuters bloke in front of you stands up and says "you must be bloody joking mate, I'm not taking a job for that" and leaves your office half-way through the interview. Somebody had told this bloke £24,000. Which is why he's sat in front of you. Which is why he laughs in your corpulent, big bald face and goes shopping in HMV. Because he's off to do teacher training next year and was only going to work for a few months anyway.
The Central Line. All car parks full by soul-less, faceless, grey, miserable, destroyed, dessicated commuters.
Teenage Boys after Dark.
Harlow is notorious for spawning these things. They are never there during daylight hours, but as soon as night falls, there they are.
They mass around Blockbuster/KFC/Chinese, all spitting furiously onto the floor and sharing Silk-Cut Ultra Lows.
They are like surly moths.
So if you want to rent a movie/buy some vile take-away, then you have to run the gauntlet of these crater-faced chimps. By "run the gauntlet", I mean walk past laughing and hoping one of them says something to you, so you'll have an excuse to visit fury and pain into their stupid Guy Ritchie-lite worlds. But they never do, they just go silent and try to exude toughness, when all they do exude is Lynx and pheremones.
But Saturday really, really took the prize for "What the ?". Me and mate go to cashpoint, it's about 10:30pm and raining. And there's a gaggle of these pseudo-wideboys gathered, as per usual.
But because it's raining, they've all crammed into those tardis-like public toilets you put 20p and the door swivels open.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You stupid bummers, all standing with each other in a toilet, door open and trying to be hard/cool.
Except you're all standing together in a toilet cubicle. Repressed? Not them guv, they were prime examples of alpha-males....yeah right.
A gang of 14yr old huddled in a bog.
Poofs.
I'm going to watch Blair Witch Project now and smoke, drink coke and prepare to recieve a guest tommorrow.
Being lazy rules.
Fireworks.
Every time of year this happens, without fail. Kids have stupid, poorly made dummies outside of garages and shops and they say "Penny for the guy?" when you walk past, then get offended when you set fire to it and throw it after them as they run down the street in tears. Well hey, spirit of the festival and all that. Don't jam your free newspaper into the legs of your dad's tracksuit, stick a stinking coat over a dolly and expect me to fork over my cash simply because you want to spend it on glue and Smash Hits stickers. Do what other kids do at other times of the year, steal from each other.
And why do these packrats never injure each other? They lob bangers about car parks and underpasses, yet not one of them will try and see how many he can fit in his toothless feral mouth will he? Why not? Who's gonna mourn this tool if he blows his jaw off? Not his parents, they're too busy screaming at each other on the lawn at 2am because he's "spent all tha fakkin' dole daaahn the fakkin' paaaaaarb".
I want these people put out of my misery.
The Central Line.
Epping car park. 10am. Full.
FULL????? Full because stupid, faceless commuters pack themselves into trains at 7am to slave into the city to make a buck to live on, then ride home shattered and catatonic at 7pm, staring at the floor and wishing they'd followed their heart instead of their mate.
Theydon Bois car park. FULL. Debden car park. FULL.
I have to drive to #####ing Loughton to catch a train to London at 11am to see a fat, bald lying toad about a job.
£24,000 does not sound remotely like £15,000 does it. Does it?
So why then act suprised when the already-late because of assface commuters bloke in front of you stands up and says "you must be bloody joking mate, I'm not taking a job for that" and leaves your office half-way through the interview. Somebody had told this bloke £24,000. Which is why he's sat in front of you. Which is why he laughs in your corpulent, big bald face and goes shopping in HMV. Because he's off to do teacher training next year and was only going to work for a few months anyway.
The Central Line. All car parks full by soul-less, faceless, grey, miserable, destroyed, dessicated commuters.
Teenage Boys after Dark.
Harlow is notorious for spawning these things. They are never there during daylight hours, but as soon as night falls, there they are.
They mass around Blockbuster/KFC/Chinese, all spitting furiously onto the floor and sharing Silk-Cut Ultra Lows.
They are like surly moths.
So if you want to rent a movie/buy some vile take-away, then you have to run the gauntlet of these crater-faced chimps. By "run the gauntlet", I mean walk past laughing and hoping one of them says something to you, so you'll have an excuse to visit fury and pain into their stupid Guy Ritchie-lite worlds. But they never do, they just go silent and try to exude toughness, when all they do exude is Lynx and pheremones.
But Saturday really, really took the prize for "What the ?". Me and mate go to cashpoint, it's about 10:30pm and raining. And there's a gaggle of these pseudo-wideboys gathered, as per usual.
But because it's raining, they've all crammed into those tardis-like public toilets you put 20p and the door swivels open.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You stupid bummers, all standing with each other in a toilet, door open and trying to be hard/cool.
Except you're all standing together in a toilet cubicle. Repressed? Not them guv, they were prime examples of alpha-males....yeah right.
A gang of 14yr old huddled in a bog.
Poofs.
I'm going to watch Blair Witch Project now and smoke, drink coke and prepare to recieve a guest tommorrow.
Being lazy rules.
Page:
Heh
Well you'll definitely hate me if I say I'm off to the train station in about 5 mins.
Turkish Delight ahoy.
*rubs hands*
Well you'll definitely hate me if I say I'm off to the train station in about 5 mins.
Turkish Delight ahoy.
*rubs hands*
You lucky, lazy, b*stard. I hate you with an envious fury you can never imagine.
Actually...you've worked in an office before; you'll have little difficulty imagining it...
Actually...you've worked in an office before; you'll have little difficulty imagining it...
Goatboy wrote:
> cookie monster wrote:
> I read in the paper that a gang of 20 year olds strapped a gerbil to
> a
> rocket and set it off.
> --
>
> Now I'm sorry, and it makes me a badman and sent to hell etc, but
> that really made me laugh.
It's the kind of thing that is funny purely because it shouldn't be or that it's in bad taste. Like my face. Or the joke about whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.
Well it made me laugh.
> cookie monster wrote:
> I read in the paper that a gang of 20 year olds strapped a gerbil to
> a
> rocket and set it off.
> --
>
> Now I'm sorry, and it makes me a badman and sent to hell etc, but
> that really made me laugh.
It's the kind of thing that is funny purely because it shouldn't be or that it's in bad taste. Like my face. Or the joke about whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.
Well it made me laugh.
Goatboy wrote:
> They mass around Blockbuster/KFC/Chinese, all spitting furiously onto
> the floor and sharing Silk-Cut Ultra Lows.
For some reason, spitting seems to be worse the younger they are.
Why?
Phlegm on the floor masculine?
Goatboy - king
> They mass around Blockbuster/KFC/Chinese, all spitting furiously onto
> the floor and sharing Silk-Cut Ultra Lows.
For some reason, spitting seems to be worse the younger they are.
Why?
Phlegm on the floor masculine?
Goatboy - king
Goatboy wrote:
> But I'm picturing a gerbil in a
> little leather flying helmet & goggles, looking about confusedly
> as it's sent rocketing into the night sky.
Thats an amusing picture, but it didnt even die straight away, it suffered 3rd degree burns and then fell back down to earth.
> But I'm picturing a gerbil in a
> little leather flying helmet & goggles, looking about confusedly
> as it's sent rocketing into the night sky.
Thats an amusing picture, but it didnt even die straight away, it suffered 3rd degree burns and then fell back down to earth.
cookie monster wrote:
> I read in the paper that a gang of 20 year olds strapped a gerbil to a
> rocket and set it off.
--
Now I'm sorry, and it makes me a badman and sent to hell etc, but that really made me laugh.
Oh I wouldn't do it, or condone it. But I'm picturing a gerbil in a little leather flying helmet & goggles, looking about confusedly as it's sent rocketing into the night sky.
It's almost as not-funny-really as the urban myth about the cat with a cherrybomb firework stuffed up it's ass and thrown off a block of flats, only to explode half-way down and spatter the outside (obviously uncleanable) window of a pensioner
> I read in the paper that a gang of 20 year olds strapped a gerbil to a
> rocket and set it off.
--
Now I'm sorry, and it makes me a badman and sent to hell etc, but that really made me laugh.
Oh I wouldn't do it, or condone it. But I'm picturing a gerbil in a little leather flying helmet & goggles, looking about confusedly as it's sent rocketing into the night sky.
It's almost as not-funny-really as the urban myth about the cat with a cherrybomb firework stuffed up it's ass and thrown off a block of flats, only to explode half-way down and spatter the outside (obviously uncleanable) window of a pensioner
cookie monster wrote:
> I read in the paper that a gang of 20 year olds strapped a gerbil to a
> rocket and set it off.
>
> 20 year olds for gods sake, you would think they would have some
> sense. I would sentence them to 20 hours of mandatory bum-rape.
I think sellotaping their hairless nads to a super aero-banger would be far more entertaining
> I read in the paper that a gang of 20 year olds strapped a gerbil to a
> rocket and set it off.
>
> 20 year olds for gods sake, you would think they would have some
> sense. I would sentence them to 20 hours of mandatory bum-rape.
I think sellotaping their hairless nads to a super aero-banger would be far more entertaining
"Harlow is notorious for spawning these things"
Yeah sorry about the album. Must do better next time.
Yeah sorry about the album. Must do better next time.
I read in the paper that a gang of 20 year olds strapped a gerbil to a rocket and set it off.
20 year olds for gods sake, you would think they would have some sense. I would sentence them to 20 hours of mandatory bum-rape.
20 year olds for gods sake, you would think they would have some sense. I would sentence them to 20 hours of mandatory bum-rape.
Your name linked?
Is your name Teenage Boys after Dark? Your last album sucked.
Is your name Teenage Boys after Dark? Your last album sucked.
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