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Reaver (Ant) V Stone Edge (Jae)
Written by LL Cool T
Good evening, folks – don’t touch that dial, you’ve got Eclipse on it! Continuing the recent qualifying series for the up and coming Elimination Chamber match (oh yeah, baby!), we’ve got another fantastic match lined up for you – the SRW Commish, Reaver(Ant), versus one of SRW’s most loathed wrestlers at the moment – it’s Stone Edge(Jae)! He’s already stated his ambitions to become the next competitor in that unholy structure, the Elimination Chamber, at SRW’s next pay-per-view, Breakdown! (And if you haven’t got your tickets yet, guys, I’m afraid we’ve all sold out!)
Just last week, Stone Edge(Jae) made his feelings known about several subjects, not least the Chamber match-up:
“Oh, and about this Elimination Chamber match. Anarchy is in it? Wow. Reaver, great choice giving him a title shot. Yeah. If he’s in it, then so should a lot of other guys in the SRW roster, namely me! I’m a former Cruiserweight Champion, dammit! What has he accomplished here in SRW? Exactly… NOTHING! Well, apart from his suspension!”
But not content with ranting on about suspended wrestlers, he then targeted his abuse at none other than his own commissioner! But that wasn’t all, because Reaver(Ant) had a few words for Stone Edge!
Reaver (Ant) appears on the SpecialTron...
"Stone Edge (Jae17), I never said that anyone was in the match. Hell, even I'm not confirmed. People WILL earn their place in the match, whether it be me, you, or Anarchy (DW). And it will be one of the greatest matches of all time."
So here we have the match that could easily steal the show – emotion’s running high, and the blood could well be spilt… so we await the first of our wrestlers…
*My Sacrifice plays*
The fans go wild, as here comes Reaver(Ant)! Our commissioner seems to be enjoying his new-found popularity with the SRW faithful, as he makes his way down to the ring! He climbs to the top rope, lapping up the fans’ adulation! Leaping off, he waits patiently for Stone Edge(Jae)… wait! Stone Edge has come through the crowd, wielding a shovel, of all things! And now… THWACK! He just smacked Reaver on the bak of the head with a vicious shovel shot! And now, with Reaver down, he lines up a shot, and SLAMS THE SHOVEL ONTO REAVER’S LEFT KNEE! Oh my God! We expected emotion, but we didn’t expect something so diabolically sneaky from Stone Edge! Stone Edge turns his commissioner over, gets the shovel, and digs it into the left kneecap! I use the word ‘dig’ because that’s exactly what Stone Edge did – he wants a piece of that knee as a souvenir! Reaver is screaming in complete agony, here, as the fans are going absolutely mental at ringside against Stone Edge, but no one can save the commissioner now!
*Jetster’s music hits*
Looks like I spoke too soon! Here comes Reaver(Ant)’s partner, Jetster – he won’t let his partner be crippled by some young upstart! He slides into the ring, as Stone Edge(Jae) swings – but misses! Swings again – misses again, as Jetster goes underneath, but Stone Edge swings backwards, and catches Jetster right in hip-bone! Jetster’s momentum has disappeared before our very eyes, as Stone Edge gets the edge of the shovel – GOOD GOD! He jammed the edge of the shovel right into the bridge of Jetster’s nose! He could have easily broken it! And now, with Jetster down, wailing in agony, Stone Edge goes back to the fallen Reaver, who can’t move! Stone Edge raises the shovel – and brings it back down across the knee! And again! One more for the road! And finally, Stone Edge drops the shovel, but – no! – he’s put Reaver in the Figure 4! This, viewers, is taking SRW too far! This could lose us our TV contract, dammit! This is torturing the commish! But here come the referees from the back, at last!
The referees enter the ring, as Stone Edge(Jae) releases the Figure 4 Leg Lock, but still Reaver(Ant) wails in pain! Stone Edge is being talked to by the referees, and it seems as though he’s willing to leave the ring – I say sack him! Fire the S O B! Throw the book at him (so long as the book’s 500lbs and on fire)! The referees are escorting him out of the ring – but he slides back in, picks up the shovel, and cracks it over Hebner’s head! And now Chiota gets a taste of some head! (Shovel head, folks, we are a family show!) Stone Edge whacks the remaining two referees, and now all four SRW referees have been laid out on the outside, as Stone Edge climbs out, and looks underneath the ring for something, but what else could he inflict on the now surely crippled Reaver?
He brings out… a cinder block! A goddamn cinder block! I know SRW’s cutting edge, but this is going too far! He slides the block into the ring, and has now also grabbed something that looks like twine, and re-enters the ring! He takes hold of Reaver(Ant)’s leg, and ties the left knee to the cinder block! This looks bad… I don’t even want to think of what Reaver’s in store for… the left side of the left knee has been tied to the block, meaning Reaver’s career is at stake! And Stone Edge(Jae)… no, I don’t believe it, he’s going under the ring again! And he brings out a sledgehammer! HHH is out here in spirit, ‘twould seem, folks! But Stone Edge isn’t going back in the ring – he’s going to the top turnbuckle! Good Lord! What’s he – JESUS CHRIST ALIVE! Right on the – my God! He... he… well, take a look at the damned action replay!
*Action replay plays*
(Stone Edge(Jae), standing on the top turnbuckle, places the sledgehammer under his arm, jumps off the top rope, and lands the head of the hammer right on the side of Reaver(Ant)’s shin bone, causing his knee to bend sideways on the cinder block)
*Back to live action*
Unbelievable. Just… I don’t think words can describe what we’ve just seen. Honestly. I’ve seen blood, I’ve seen torn flesh, I’ve seen true depravation, but this torture of one human being… it’s just something no one should have to see. Reaver(Ant) is in complete pain… no, he’s just passed out. Jetster could have a broken nose, the referees are out, the fans are in silent shock, with a few booing Stone Edge(Jae)… and there he is, making his way up the ramp, so proud of himself! He’s called for a mic – I don’t wanna hear him! I’m not putting him over anymore! He makes me sick!
Stone Edge: “Well, what do we have here? The big man, Reaver, unable to stand? His bestest buddy Jetster, unable to see? And the SRW referees gang, unable to do anything? Well, it seems to me as though since Reaver can’t comete, I guess I win by default? Yeah, that’s right – Stone Edge goes through! Good night, SRW fans – you know when you’ve been Stoned!”
There you have it – Stone Edge(Jae) through, Reaver(Ant) has a knee that probably has snapped ligaments and a cracked kneecap, with a bruised shinbone, and Jetster has a fractured bridge of his nose (he won’t be out for any matches, though, just wearing a mask). Someone else will need to take up a Reaver/Jetster vs. Stone Edge feud, contact me for ideas.
Reaver (Ant) V Stone Edge (Jae)
Written by LL Cool T
Good evening, folks – don’t touch that dial, you’ve got Eclipse on it! Continuing the recent qualifying series for the up and coming Elimination Chamber match (oh yeah, baby!), we’ve got another fantastic match lined up for you – the SRW Commish, Reaver(Ant), versus one of SRW’s most loathed wrestlers at the moment – it’s Stone Edge(Jae)! He’s already stated his ambitions to become the next competitor in that unholy structure, the Elimination Chamber, at SRW’s next pay-per-view, Breakdown! (And if you haven’t got your tickets yet, guys, I’m afraid we’ve all sold out!)
Just last week, Stone Edge(Jae) made his feelings known about several subjects, not least the Chamber match-up:
“Oh, and about this Elimination Chamber match. Anarchy is in it? Wow. Reaver, great choice giving him a title shot. Yeah. If he’s in it, then so should a lot of other guys in the SRW roster, namely me! I’m a former Cruiserweight Champion, dammit! What has he accomplished here in SRW? Exactly… NOTHING! Well, apart from his suspension!”
But not content with ranting on about suspended wrestlers, he then targeted his abuse at none other than his own commissioner! But that wasn’t all, because Reaver(Ant) had a few words for Stone Edge!
Reaver (Ant) appears on the SpecialTron...
"Stone Edge (Jae17), I never said that anyone was in the match. Hell, even I'm not confirmed. People WILL earn their place in the match, whether it be me, you, or Anarchy (DW). And it will be one of the greatest matches of all time."
So here we have the match that could easily steal the show – emotion’s running high, and the blood could well be spilt… so we await the first of our wrestlers…
*My Sacrifice plays*
The fans go wild, as here comes Reaver(Ant)! Our commissioner seems to be enjoying his new-found popularity with the SRW faithful, as he makes his way down to the ring! He climbs to the top rope, lapping up the fans’ adulation! Leaping off, he waits patiently for Stone Edge(Jae)… wait! Stone Edge has come through the crowd, wielding a shovel, of all things! And now… THWACK! He just smacked Reaver on the bak of the head with a vicious shovel shot! And now, with Reaver down, he lines up a shot, and SLAMS THE SHOVEL ONTO REAVER’S LEFT KNEE! Oh my God! We expected emotion, but we didn’t expect something so diabolically sneaky from Stone Edge! Stone Edge turns his commissioner over, gets the shovel, and digs it into the left kneecap! I use the word ‘dig’ because that’s exactly what Stone Edge did – he wants a piece of that knee as a souvenir! Reaver is screaming in complete agony, here, as the fans are going absolutely mental at ringside against Stone Edge, but no one can save the commissioner now!
*Jetster’s music hits*
Looks like I spoke too soon! Here comes Reaver(Ant)’s partner, Jetster – he won’t let his partner be crippled by some young upstart! He slides into the ring, as Stone Edge(Jae) swings – but misses! Swings again – misses again, as Jetster goes underneath, but Stone Edge swings backwards, and catches Jetster right in hip-bone! Jetster’s momentum has disappeared before our very eyes, as Stone Edge gets the edge of the shovel – GOOD GOD! He jammed the edge of the shovel right into the bridge of Jetster’s nose! He could have easily broken it! And now, with Jetster down, wailing in agony, Stone Edge goes back to the fallen Reaver, who can’t move! Stone Edge raises the shovel – and brings it back down across the knee! And again! One more for the road! And finally, Stone Edge drops the shovel, but – no! – he’s put Reaver in the Figure 4! This, viewers, is taking SRW too far! This could lose us our TV contract, dammit! This is torturing the commish! But here come the referees from the back, at last!
The referees enter the ring, as Stone Edge(Jae) releases the Figure 4 Leg Lock, but still Reaver(Ant) wails in pain! Stone Edge is being talked to by the referees, and it seems as though he’s willing to leave the ring – I say sack him! Fire the S O B! Throw the book at him (so long as the book’s 500lbs and on fire)! The referees are escorting him out of the ring – but he slides back in, picks up the shovel, and cracks it over Hebner’s head! And now Chiota gets a taste of some head! (Shovel head, folks, we are a family show!) Stone Edge whacks the remaining two referees, and now all four SRW referees have been laid out on the outside, as Stone Edge climbs out, and looks underneath the ring for something, but what else could he inflict on the now surely crippled Reaver?
He brings out… a cinder block! A goddamn cinder block! I know SRW’s cutting edge, but this is going too far! He slides the block into the ring, and has now also grabbed something that looks like twine, and re-enters the ring! He takes hold of Reaver(Ant)’s leg, and ties the left knee to the cinder block! This looks bad… I don’t even want to think of what Reaver’s in store for… the left side of the left knee has been tied to the block, meaning Reaver’s career is at stake! And Stone Edge(Jae)… no, I don’t believe it, he’s going under the ring again! And he brings out a sledgehammer! HHH is out here in spirit, ‘twould seem, folks! But Stone Edge isn’t going back in the ring – he’s going to the top turnbuckle! Good Lord! What’s he – JESUS CHRIST ALIVE! Right on the – my God! He... he… well, take a look at the damned action replay!
*Action replay plays*
(Stone Edge(Jae), standing on the top turnbuckle, places the sledgehammer under his arm, jumps off the top rope, and lands the head of the hammer right on the side of Reaver(Ant)’s shin bone, causing his knee to bend sideways on the cinder block)
*Back to live action*
Unbelievable. Just… I don’t think words can describe what we’ve just seen. Honestly. I’ve seen blood, I’ve seen torn flesh, I’ve seen true depravation, but this torture of one human being… it’s just something no one should have to see. Reaver(Ant) is in complete pain… no, he’s just passed out. Jetster could have a broken nose, the referees are out, the fans are in silent shock, with a few booing Stone Edge(Jae)… and there he is, making his way up the ramp, so proud of himself! He’s called for a mic – I don’t wanna hear him! I’m not putting him over anymore! He makes me sick!
Stone Edge: “Well, what do we have here? The big man, Reaver, unable to stand? His bestest buddy Jetster, unable to see? And the SRW referees gang, unable to do anything? Well, it seems to me as though since Reaver can’t comete, I guess I win by default? Yeah, that’s right – Stone Edge goes through! Good night, SRW fans – you know when you’ve been Stoned!”
There you have it – Stone Edge(Jae) through, Reaver(Ant) has a knee that probably has snapped ligaments and a cracked kneecap, with a bruised shinbone, and Jetster has a fractured bridge of his nose (he won’t be out for any matches, though, just wearing a mask). Someone else will need to take up a Reaver/Jetster vs. Stone Edge feud, contact me for ideas.
Sorry for the negative response but I feel the match went too far.
I'm trying not to put down the match, but I can't think of any way of putting it politely. I just think this served no purpose. Sorry.
I've got an idea for Stone Edge. . . . . Seen as though he did not technically win the match, he should have to fight someone else to earn his place in the Elimination Chamber. You probably won't do it, well it was just a suggestion.