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Ok i originally posted this last year but i got no replies whatsoever to it so im trying again.
Thursdays Daily Mirror Exclusive:
Keane seen being mean to man wearing jeans!!
Roy Keane was reportedly seen on Wednesday evening being sold what was believed to be a suspicious small package which police later revealed was in fact a pair of girls earings.
A spokesman for the Greater Manchester police had this to say...
"We originally arrested Mr Keane late on wednesday evening for hassling and threatening a youth outside of a public swimming baths."
He added... "Upon further questioning and a body search we discovered that Mr Keane had amongst his possesions a set of gold girls earings which Roy was later quoted as saying" ... "they suit me dont they?...
The argument which broke out shortly after the package exchanged hands was apparently sparked by a passer-by who called Keane "a big girls blouse" an estranged Roy Keane then began to chase the abusive youth before hacking him to the ground with a trademark two-footed challenge from behind Keane then proceeded to bite the left leg of the youth sinking his teeth deep into the lads levis.
Roy Keane was later released with no further charges to be bought against him under the condition that he wear the gold earings in Man Utd's next premiership match against Southampton.
You guys are allowed to tell me if you like my humour, it might even spark me into writing more of these nonsensical fictional news stories :)
Thursdays Daily Mirror Exclusive:
Keane seen being mean to man wearing jeans!!
Roy Keane was reportedly seen on Wednesday evening being sold what was believed to be a suspicious small package which police later revealed was in fact a pair of girls earings.
A spokesman for the Greater Manchester police had this to say...
"We originally arrested Mr Keane late on wednesday evening for hassling and threatening a youth outside of a public swimming baths."
He added... "Upon further questioning and a body search we discovered that Mr Keane had amongst his possesions a set of gold girls earings which Roy was later quoted as saying" ... "they suit me dont they?...
The argument which broke out shortly after the package exchanged hands was apparently sparked by a passer-by who called Keane "a big girls blouse" an estranged Roy Keane then began to chase the abusive youth before hacking him to the ground with a trademark two-footed challenge from behind Keane then proceeded to bite the left leg of the youth sinking his teeth deep into the lads levis.
Roy Keane was later released with no further charges to be bought against him under the condition that he wear the gold earings in Man Utd's next premiership match against Southampton.
You guys are allowed to tell me if you like my humour, it might even spark me into writing more of these nonsensical fictional news stories :)
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Ok i originally posted this last year but i got no replies whatsoever to it so im trying again.
Thursdays Daily Mirror Exclusive:
Keane seen being mean to man wearing jeans!!
Roy Keane was reportedly seen on Wednesday evening being sold what was believed to be a suspicious small package which police later revealed was in fact a pair of girls earings.
A spokesman for the Greater Manchester police had this to say...
"We originally arrested Mr Keane late on wednesday evening for hassling and threatening a youth outside of a public swimming baths."
He added... "Upon further questioning and a body search we discovered that Mr Keane had amongst his possesions a set of gold girls earings which Roy was later quoted as saying" ... "they suit me dont they?...
The argument which broke out shortly after the package exchanged hands was apparently sparked by a passer-by who called Keane "a big girls blouse" an estranged Roy Keane then began to chase the abusive youth before hacking him to the ground with a trademark two-footed challenge from behind Keane then proceeded to bite the left leg of the youth sinking his teeth deep into the lads levis.
Roy Keane was later released with no further charges to be bought against him under the condition that he wear the gold earings in Man Utd's next premiership match against Southampton.
You guys are allowed to tell me if you like my humour, it might even spark me into writing more of these nonsensical fictional news stories :)
Thursdays Daily Mirror Exclusive:
Keane seen being mean to man wearing jeans!!
Roy Keane was reportedly seen on Wednesday evening being sold what was believed to be a suspicious small package which police later revealed was in fact a pair of girls earings.
A spokesman for the Greater Manchester police had this to say...
"We originally arrested Mr Keane late on wednesday evening for hassling and threatening a youth outside of a public swimming baths."
He added... "Upon further questioning and a body search we discovered that Mr Keane had amongst his possesions a set of gold girls earings which Roy was later quoted as saying" ... "they suit me dont they?...
The argument which broke out shortly after the package exchanged hands was apparently sparked by a passer-by who called Keane "a big girls blouse" an estranged Roy Keane then began to chase the abusive youth before hacking him to the ground with a trademark two-footed challenge from behind Keane then proceeded to bite the left leg of the youth sinking his teeth deep into the lads levis.
Roy Keane was later released with no further charges to be bought against him under the condition that he wear the gold earings in Man Utd's next premiership match against Southampton.
You guys are allowed to tell me if you like my humour, it might even spark me into writing more of these nonsensical fictional news stories :)
Try this one aswell... again written by me.
Exclusive!!
ITV has been forced to rethink its strategy when selecting which people are to appear on the popular Sing-em-up show after it was revealed that the king of rock and roll Elvis Presley made it onto the show ending decades of speculation as to whether he was actually dead or not.
Elvis (now aged 67) fooled everybody at Carlton TV as he entered the show under the false name of Bob Edwards.
Elvis (or Bob as he now prefers to be called) came 2nd in is heat of a not yet shown episode of Stars by mimicking 70's legend Marc Bolan.
Studio hands suspicious minds (ahem) were first roused when Bob was heard munching through an entire delivery of 24 hamburgers which were intended to feed the crew and would-be-stars at lunchtime.
Jane Simpson (Bobs personally assigned makeup artist for the show) finally tipped off the shows producers when she overheard Bob on the lavatory as saying "Ive just left the building" as the toilet flushed.
The shows organisers are undecided as to what will happen regarding this extraordianry fiasco, but when asked off the record an ITV insider told us "thats gotta be the worst Marc Bolan i ever heard" which suggests we may never see this episode broadcasted.
Exclusive!!
ITV has been forced to rethink its strategy when selecting which people are to appear on the popular Sing-em-up show after it was revealed that the king of rock and roll Elvis Presley made it onto the show ending decades of speculation as to whether he was actually dead or not.
Elvis (now aged 67) fooled everybody at Carlton TV as he entered the show under the false name of Bob Edwards.
Elvis (or Bob as he now prefers to be called) came 2nd in is heat of a not yet shown episode of Stars by mimicking 70's legend Marc Bolan.
Studio hands suspicious minds (ahem) were first roused when Bob was heard munching through an entire delivery of 24 hamburgers which were intended to feed the crew and would-be-stars at lunchtime.
Jane Simpson (Bobs personally assigned makeup artist for the show) finally tipped off the shows producers when she overheard Bob on the lavatory as saying "Ive just left the building" as the toilet flushed.
The shows organisers are undecided as to what will happen regarding this extraordianry fiasco, but when asked off the record an ITV insider told us "thats gotta be the worst Marc Bolan i ever heard" which suggests we may never see this episode broadcasted.
And this one too... that should keep you happy for a while Black Demon :)
Al Jazeera news Article.
USA use PC components as mass weapons of destruction.
Reports are coming in that the United States has begun to attack Afghanistan in a new wave of raids.
Todays bombing of the Tora Bora mountains has seen mass casualties and widespread destruction as the US dropped a selection of PC hard drives from two B52 bombers.
Early reports say that there are in excess of 150 casualties as 2000 Western Digital hard drives rained from the skies destroying everything in their path.
Abdul Aqbar a local market trader spoke to Al jazeera news "it was just another monday morning when suddenly we heard a huge explosion, luckily nobody was killed... im so glad it wasnt the new 80 gig IBM that hit us"
James Geary a now captured US troop who was injured in the raids said "at the time this happened myself and 2 others were busy playing a Quake 3 LAN party against Bin Laden and his buddies... he had a ping of 74ms so we were getting pretty close to him until this happened"
Washington have admitted the attacks in Afghanistan but deny all reports that at the same time they blanket bombed Iraq with over 200 king size duvets.
*In no way is this intended to offend anyone who was affected by 9-11*
Al Jazeera news Article.
USA use PC components as mass weapons of destruction.
Reports are coming in that the United States has begun to attack Afghanistan in a new wave of raids.
Todays bombing of the Tora Bora mountains has seen mass casualties and widespread destruction as the US dropped a selection of PC hard drives from two B52 bombers.
Early reports say that there are in excess of 150 casualties as 2000 Western Digital hard drives rained from the skies destroying everything in their path.
Abdul Aqbar a local market trader spoke to Al jazeera news "it was just another monday morning when suddenly we heard a huge explosion, luckily nobody was killed... im so glad it wasnt the new 80 gig IBM that hit us"
James Geary a now captured US troop who was injured in the raids said "at the time this happened myself and 2 others were busy playing a Quake 3 LAN party against Bin Laden and his buddies... he had a ping of 74ms so we were getting pretty close to him until this happened"
Washington have admitted the attacks in Afghanistan but deny all reports that at the same time they blanket bombed Iraq with over 200 king size duvets.
*In no way is this intended to offend anyone who was affected by 9-11*
Where do you get these stories from?
Fishtobeking wrote:
> Where do you get these stories from?
His brain?
> Where do you get these stories from?
His brain?
Fishtobeking wrote:
> Where do you get these stories from?
I just write them when i get bored... no particular source, i just get a silly idea and type.
I have a warped sense of humour perhaps... i do hope people enjoy them tho.
> Where do you get these stories from?
I just write them when i get bored... no particular source, i just get a silly idea and type.
I have a warped sense of humour perhaps... i do hope people enjoy them tho.
You can't just get them from your brain tho. You can't of written the second and third report/story/thing within a minute. I just thought you might have gotten them from a website and it would only be right if you told us the site. If you had them stored on your computer or you are very very quick at typing then fair play to you.
They usually take around 20 mins on average to think of and type out... i basically just adlib as i go along.
The reason why i posted them so close together was because i had previously (last year) posted them at this very site but i didnt get many people read them or at least i didnt get many replies to them.
I do write them myself, i wouldnt say i did if i had stolen them, please feel free to search online for these stories as i know exactly where they came from and where i have posted them (i posted 2 of them last year on Mad Onions site, now known as Future Mark, the very same time that i posted them here.)
I am flattered that you may think i am incapable of constructing such far fetched stories tho... if you like i can write one out anytime on more or less any subject matter, i do this for fun , i find it easy to do and i do laugh as im writing them, i guess thats why i do it in the first place.
The reason why i posted them so close together was because i had previously (last year) posted them at this very site but i didnt get many people read them or at least i didnt get many replies to them.
I do write them myself, i wouldnt say i did if i had stolen them, please feel free to search online for these stories as i know exactly where they came from and where i have posted them (i posted 2 of them last year on Mad Onions site, now known as Future Mark, the very same time that i posted them here.)
I am flattered that you may think i am incapable of constructing such far fetched stories tho... if you like i can write one out anytime on more or less any subject matter, i do this for fun , i find it easy to do and i do laugh as im writing them, i guess thats why i do it in the first place.
I'll believe you, sorry to mis-judge you about them. They are amusing and you should think up a few more, if you ever get bored or have an amazing idea.
Thankyou for the kind words... i'll keep them coming :)
I do like to write about current topical subjects if possible, anything thats recently been in the news and of interest, the Afghanistan story stemmed from my hearing a joke relating to the blind David Blunkett and the US's innacurate bombing tactics... called Blunkett bombing, its just little things that spark an idea off... i do try to make the stories semi-beliveable on occasions just to see if anyone takes the bait :)
I do like to write about current topical subjects if possible, anything thats recently been in the news and of interest, the Afghanistan story stemmed from my hearing a joke relating to the blind David Blunkett and the US's innacurate bombing tactics... called Blunkett bombing, its just little things that spark an idea off... i do try to make the stories semi-beliveable on occasions just to see if anyone takes the bait :)
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