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"Why Star Wars is racist."

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Wed 13/08/03 at 10:27
Regular
Posts: 787
(DISCLAIMER-NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AT ALL)

It is something that has been bothering me for the longest of times; what is it about Star Wars that I am uneasy about? It is a collection of simple, yet entertaining films and has strong elements of right and wrong. Yet there is a more sinister overtone to the proceedings. The blatant racism that is portrayed in the movies.

The prosecution may address the court.

Well your honour, let’s have a look at the characters in the films. Firstly we have the goodies, not the actual Goodies as Bill Odie’s character Darth Beardy Weirdy was cut from the first film, no the good guys, the white guys. It is true Han, Luke, Leia, and Old Ben Kenobi are whities. The only black character of any repute, Lando, is portrayed as Judas scum. So he’s not really as good as the white man. Chewie is brown and perpetually angry, whilst the Ewoks are simply an appalling stereotype of Asian Indians. Just listen to them speak.

Even the Droids are symbolic of Western superiority. Love him or hate him, no just hate him, C3PO is Lucas’ slight at the yellow skinned Japanese. The droid is a far superior model to R2D2 (the good ‘ol American model, functional, chunky though it’s white damn it) but C3PO is oh so camp. It is George’s way of insulting the sexuality of a whole nation. And it demonstrates that Star Wars is also homophobic. In fact if you were to compress every uttering R2D2 makes from Star Wars to Jedi into one continuous sound file, and then play it backwards you can hear “this ones for bleep blop bloop Pearl Harbour”. It is no co-incidence that Yoda is green and not very popular, George is having a go at oldies too.

What about the bad guys? Well the character Darth Vader is perhaps the most obvious racist creation I’ve ever seen. Get this, he starts of as a white man, who may be petulant and stuff but he’s basically a good guy. His mentor however is one Kenobi (note the cloak with hood being a brown version of the KKK costume-subversive retro racialism) and the Emperor is another cloaked wizard. So anyway he starts off white and then when he becomes bad, he becomes black. Thus he is now Darth Vader, a white guy being repressed by someone who ain’t from round here, isn’t that right George? His voice is provided by a black man, so that even Vader’s views aren’t spoken by the white man.

Anyway when he is bad (though ironically he has to still take orders from a white wizard-ironic) he orders around a bunch of white (Nazi) Stormtroopers, who are in fact, as we know from Clones; Jango Fett’s cloned self. So George is trying to suggest how the whites are surpressing the ethnic minorities, who are simply a bunch of mercenaries and bounty hunters anyway. It cannot be coincidence that the Fett’s ships are called Slave 1 and Slave 2 respectively. In fact while we are on the subject of ships the bad guys fly around in Tie-fighters, which George wanted to call Thai-fighters, in a subtle reference to the Vietnam war, in which Thailand was, for the entire conflict situated next to Cambodia. As we all know some of the fighting was carried out in Cambodia. The last I knew, Thailand is still located in the same place.

At the end of Jedi, Vader becomes good again (as he sneakily throws his wizard friend down that escape chute) which means he now becomes white again and wins a place in force heaven. Lucas you make me sick.

Jabba's inclusion as a fat thing, was George's way of ensuring that he hadn't missed any race, gender or type of person out of his hatefull films.

So you may be thinking that this post is ill informed and the evidence presented is merely circumstantial. Well I’ve saved the best for last. George created the most hated character to ever grace the cinema screen, one so vehemently despised that the very mention of his name is banned in every state in America. The rastafarian Gungan, Jar-jar Binks with stupid p*ss taking voice, massa.

I rest my case.
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:50
Regular
"\\"
Posts: 9,631
The sagacious one wrote:
> Word count means nothing to me. Like I've said before, you can post
> 10000 words in a week but if all of them are crap, what's the point?

Who said anyhting about word count?
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:48
Regular
Posts: 16,548
What's a Nubian?
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:46
Regular
Posts: 18,775
Scary how it all actually makes sense....

Genius.
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:44
"Darth Vader 3442321"
Posts: 4,031
Word count means nothing to me. Like I've said before, you can post 10000 words in a week but if all of them are crap, what's the point?
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:31
Regular
"\\"
Posts: 9,631
Ive got it! Before you post count was 2569 and after it was 2570.
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:18
"Darth Vader 3442321"
Posts: 4,031
Spot the difference.
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:18
"Darth Vader 3442321"
Posts: 4,031
Clazon wrote:
> explain samuel l jacksons character being a good guy. you must have
> been very bored to have written a post that long.

Yeah but EVERYONE knows that el Jackson is a bad mutha from watching Pulp Fiction. Therefore Lucas is suggesting that he is a liar and his persona is a facade. His vitriolic condemnation knows no bounds.
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:18
"Darth Vader 3442321"
Posts: 4,031
Clazon wrote:
> explain samuel l jacksons character being a good guy. you must have
> been very bored to have written a post that long.

Yeah but EVERYONE knows that el Jackson is a bad mutha from watching Pulp Fiction. Therefore Lucas is suggesting that he is a liar and his persona is a facade. His vitriloic condemnation knows no bounds.
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:15
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
Excellent
Wed 13/08/03 at 12:10
Regular
"The Red Shift"
Posts: 6,807
explain samuel l jacksons character being a good guy. you must have been very bored to have written a post that long.

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