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"Dammit, I'm out of vegetable soup :("

If there was an emoticon for how upset I am that I'm all out of vegetable soup, then it would be so sad as to make all of you cry. I'm no vegetarian. I love nothing more than to eat the grilled remains of a bolt-gunned bull, but I have recently had an appetite for 2 specific vegetable items (no, not the Chuckle Brothers). Vegetarian pizza and vegetable soup. I don't like meaty pizzas anymore. I used to have one at least once a week, but I've found that eating vegetable pizzas is much more healthy (notice the oxymoron - "pizza" and "healthy"), and far easier on the stomach. I've grown to love vegetable soup over the last few weeks too. It comes with croutons and everything. Mmmmmmmm.

I'd never be a vegetarian - I love steak too much.

monkey_man wrote:
> but I have recently had an appetite for
> 2 specific vegetable items (no, not the Chuckle Brothers).

Nice one.

"To me, to you" *badong!* "Barry I've fallen over and my hand has slipped up a Cow's ass". "See if you can find my condom, I was banging it earlier and it came off" "usually does when you bang an old cow" "not me nob, the condom" "Oh" "well have a look then" "got it, no that's just it's intenstines....."

And this was kid's TV!!!!

Roffle.

ROFFLEPIMP. whatever.

Veggie pizza: dough, cheese and tomato?

Peppers, Onions and Linda McCartney.

monkey_man wrote:
> Peppers, Onions and Linda McCartney.

Paul: I've got some bad news and some good news, kids. The bad news is, your mum's dead. The good news is, bacon and eggs for tea!

Blank wrote:
> Paul: I've got some bad news and some good news, kids. The bad news
> is, your mum's dead. The good news is, bacon and eggs for tea!

That's just bad taste. You've got serious psycho problems for saying things like that.




P.S. What do vegetarian maggots eat?

I didn't mean they were going to eat her for Christ's sake!

It was a good joke blank.

monkey_man wrote:

> P.S. What do vegetarian maggots eat?

Fried Lice.