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"Do you want children?"

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Tue 21/04/09 at 20:42
Regular
Posts: 9,995
If yes,
Why?
How many?
Names?

If no,
Why not?
Do you not want to get married either?
What do you want for your future?

Just thought it would be interesting =]
Sun 06/09/09 at 19:18
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Posts: 9,995
I saw this and thought, God that looks like an awful thread.

Then I saw who originally posted it.
Sat 05/09/09 at 17:28
Regular
Posts: 1
why should get married? why do we need someone to tell us that we will love our partner for the rest of our live? why arent we strong enought to make that commitment by ourself?when in the end of the day people brake that promise every single day, cheating or spliting within 2 years, why is so important to sign in a paper as a contract when mostly everybody forget what actually means love? the commitment is in our hart and in our life, and just us can be witnesses of that ! who cares if u are a perfect couple if inside you yours feelings are different?who cares who u love?and for how long? i am afraid than this is one more time a way to make money for the church, just because maybe they dont have enought!!!!!
Fri 08/05/09 at 01:18
Regular
Posts: 57
maybe religion is just a way of giving a moral code to those who are too stupid, weak or lacking empathy to create their own.

its a shame, we are in the 21st century and still need it

ps for pb

a good reason to have children and keep increasing the population is to make sure you have a nice fat pension, the buses run on time and you have someone to wipe your ass when you are old - nice
Fri 08/05/09 at 01:01
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Posts: 15,681
Religion shouldn't replace common sense and be used as defence for wrong doings.

Just remember, Atheism is also a religion - it's a belief in not believing... :P
Fri 08/05/09 at 00:49
Regular
Posts: 57
i had a very good childhood with a loving family,

i wonder if its the people who did not get the love/attention they crave from their existing family or friends who are so keen to have children so they can recieve (and maybe give) the unconditional love which was missing from their own childhood.

i think marriage is a similar thing,

to arrange that big event, to make sure they are center of attention when they make that big decleration of love and commitment sounds like they are trying to prove something or fill a void which is missing in their relationship.

ps

religion is a way to pacify and control the masses, nearly all religion is based around an afterlife promising a better time if you do what you are told in the sound belief that all the guilty will be punished and the good will be rewarded.

if there was no religion maybe it would make people examine theirs and others choices and be more responsible for what goes on in this world and how it can effect the very precious thing we call life.
Thu 07/05/09 at 19:40
Regular
Posts: 15,681
My religious stance is ever changing - I used to strongly believe in atheism, however I'm not sure what direction my beliefs are heading in.

I have always believed I would get married in a church. There's something compelling me to do so and when my fiancée and I are wed it will be in a church. I feel that if I don't get married in church, it wont be a proper wedding. That's not to say that I believe everyone should marry in a church - but that I believe I should.

Marriage to me is about a whole lot of things. It's about my love and commitment to my fiancée, my promise to her, and about bringing us closer. It may seem like just a ceremony to some, but it feels like it will bring us even closer together.

I'm not sure that my beliefs have anything to do with any children I may have in the future though - except I always knew I'd be married before I have children.
Thu 07/05/09 at 17:29
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Nin wrote:
You can't just stand back and say "Hey, do what you want, as long as you don't touch the iron while it's hot".

Oh yeah sorry, this? Why can't you?
Thu 07/05/09 at 17:25
Regular
Posts: 23,216
pb wrote:
instruction that Jesus gave to Peter (sometimes considered the first 'pope') and grew from there.

Thank ye Peeb, any idea what bit of it? I forget the word for 'bit'

Marriage outside of the Church and not for religious reasons, as
> I've said, I consider a promise to each other.

In the end, it's all really consideration and personal belief and what not. I tend to avoid things that overly -need- belief in order for them to be true. So, marriage in church would feel like a lie, as I would be promising to someone I feel is unlikely to exist. I feel no other promise I should have to make to anyone apart from the person I'm actually marrying, who I feel is slightly more likely to exist.

But it's all this is, just another throw back and opinions of things we all at the core of it generally agree on, just with different words and beliefs. I'm sure I could actually find a psychologist who would disagree and say that children don't need discipline and guidelines and it's harmful against them. But that's the way the world is, it's just a massive bunch of opinions that nobody's really -that- sure of no matter what they say.

There comes a point where if there were rules saying never to touch children, and a child bleeding to death in front of you, I'd rather be the person who cared sod all about the rules than the person who felt nothing and kept to them. Guidelines and discipline is one thing, but I'd still rather explain and give the option of what they could do to children rather than tell them. I've got four nephews, and so far, they've been as good as gold with me. As long as I'm not exhausted. Then they beat me up.
Thu 07/05/09 at 17:09
Regular
Posts: 20,776
Following on from what Grix said about marriage - unless you're big on Jesus, it really does seem to me to be almost just a novel tradition, that people take part in (seemingly) because society expects it.

If you try to put aside the fact that almost every young woman in this land wants to play princess for a day, and every 'marriage co-ordinator' wants to ensure she gets that chance, it doesn't have the meaning it once did have - in my opinion anyway.

A life-long friend of mine and his girlfriend are getting married next year. They've been together 12 years, 4 of those they have been living together. Neither of them are particularly religious. Having spoken to my friend it seems the elder members of the family on her side, would like to see the wedding before they die, and have even offered to put up a large amount of the costs. So in this case it would seem it is for the parents/grand-parents benefit.

Half the time though I really think people do it just because it's the 'done thing'.
Thu 07/05/09 at 13:54
Regular
"Monochromatic"
Posts: 18,487
Pfft, Grix you libertarian hippy ;P
I think it's a combination of many things but any psychologist will tell you kids crave discipline and guidelines and without them, kids are lost. That doesn't mean crushing their spirit but it doesn't mean letting them run feral either. Part of taking care of them is teaching them how to live with other people, if you can't do that they're going to end up pi**ing a lot of people off, which will end up with them getting hurt. You can't just stand back and say "Hey, do what you want, as long as you don't touch the iron while it's hot".
I seem to be taking care of my little couins quite a lot recently. They're 3, 5, 8 and 11 and as well as making sure they don't brain themselves on the coffee table, I also have to make sure they don't beat the hell out of each other, which is a common issue.

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