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Not comparing myself to s**t or anything, but I can't deny it any longer - I am a freak magnet!
Last night me& me lady, Snuggly and a mate who I shall name "The Beast", ventured into Brixton to see Queens of the Stone Age at Brixton Academy. Everything went swimmingly and we made it to the venue without getting stabbed/buggered/garroted by the local psychos and homeless. It was only when we got inside that the real mentalness kicked off. Heer's around-up of the more "freaky" people we encountered:
#1 - Angry, Angry, Angry, Angry Man:
It was so hot yeterday, the first thing I needed was a drink. So I waited at the bar for about 5-10 minutes for a bottle of water and a pint. As the barlady turned to me and asked what I wanted, this guy walked up next to me from nowhere and stared calling me names and accusing me of pushing in...even though I'd been there for ages. He didn't smell of beer, so I assumed he'd taken something, or was just clinically insane, and I let him get on with his business. The last thing I wanted was a fight with a strange tard in a strange town, so I stood there composing myself whilst he said things like "didn't your Mummy ever teach you manners you waanker", "I bet you go to the toilets after this and s**t yourself", just general abusive things, you know the score. So I got my drinks and left, but as I turned around, he leaned over about 3/4 people and tapped me on the shoulder. I thought to myself "Right, this is it!", but I couldn't make any fists or anything because I had drinks in both my hands.
I honestly thought he was going to hit me, but I was mentally prepared for it. Y'see, I spent all afternoon adopting the "crane" position and chanting "I am the Karate Kid, I am the Karate Kid", before we left. So I passed my drinks to my lady and fully expected to have to unleash the monkey fists of doom, but the bloke just made the international hand gesture for "waanker", and left it at that. Personally I'm glad things didn't kick off, because I was in a foul mood from stuff that had happened at home earlier anyway (parents, etc), and I was there with my girlfriend, mates, etc and the gig hadn't even started and I didn't want to get kicked out. I didn't see Angry Man for the rest of the evening. I'm not the hardest of people, but I really had some fury to unleash last night and he would have been at the receiving end if he had been stupid enough. What a twunt.
#2 - Spaced-out, Smacked-Up, Space Cadet Ranger Boy:
I've honestly never seen anyone as smashed as this poor fella. We stood at the back for the duration of the gig, and this guy was there just totally out of his head. He had loads of room to do slow, fairy dancing, like it was Woodstock or something. It was funny until he walked over to me and just stopped a few inches in front of my face and stared. stared right through me with an evil smirk. I had no idea whether he was going to hit me. I didn't flinch, in fact I smiled back. He gave me a thumbs up, so I gave him one back and turned it into the symbol for rock! Then he held out his fist and I hit it with my fist like a homie. This seemed to confuse him even further. As The Beast said afterwards "Don't try and be rational with a stoner, it won't work".
Luckily the Space Ranger was with some less stoned people and they apologised and dragged him off...only for him to dance back over and start stroking my chest...I took his hand off my chest and he started staring at me again. "Oh-oh", I though, "I've angered it", but he put his hand out for me to shake. And shake it I did...but then he tried to either kiss or bit my hand and it was at this point that I had to push him away, back to his mates. They apologised again, we retired to the bar and watched this guy dancing like t'were the 70's again!
#3 - Super-Friendly Metal Freak:
Although not technically a freak, or mental, it made a change to meet a pleasent person on the underground. But this was a friendly person with a difference - all he knew was metal. It was as if all he'd ever learnt was music and everything else had been pushed out of his brain. Friendly bloke though - apparently he'd just been DJ-ing at a rock club, and he proved it by opening his bag and showing us tons of CDs. Either that, or he'd just knocked over Tower Records.
So he took a guess that we'd been to see QOTSA and the Academy and started talking about Kyuss...then he talked some more about Kyuss and what albums we should get...then he went onto Queens, the some more, then he spent about 15 minutes giving us a lecture on the entire history of the band. the dude knew his stuff. Proper stereotypical metal fan though, just of the super-nice variety.
#4 - My Dad.
Lent me his card so I could get some money and then idly claimed he was going to ring my girlfriend's house at 2 in the morning to get it back. What a pr!ck.
So all in all it was a pretty...varied(?) night. The music was OK. We could hardly see the stage though, and it echoed miles too much up at the back. Got to Epping about 12:30 and had to get a cab to Harlow, but that's what we were expecting to do. I'm all pooped out now.
Last night me& me lady, Snuggly and a mate who I shall name "The Beast", ventured into Brixton to see Queens of the Stone Age at Brixton Academy. Everything went swimmingly and we made it to the venue without getting stabbed/buggered/garroted by the local psychos and homeless. It was only when we got inside that the real mentalness kicked off. Heer's around-up of the more "freaky" people we encountered:
#1 - Angry, Angry, Angry, Angry Man:
It was so hot yeterday, the first thing I needed was a drink. So I waited at the bar for about 5-10 minutes for a bottle of water and a pint. As the barlady turned to me and asked what I wanted, this guy walked up next to me from nowhere and stared calling me names and accusing me of pushing in...even though I'd been there for ages. He didn't smell of beer, so I assumed he'd taken something, or was just clinically insane, and I let him get on with his business. The last thing I wanted was a fight with a strange tard in a strange town, so I stood there composing myself whilst he said things like "didn't your Mummy ever teach you manners you waanker", "I bet you go to the toilets after this and s**t yourself", just general abusive things, you know the score. So I got my drinks and left, but as I turned around, he leaned over about 3/4 people and tapped me on the shoulder. I thought to myself "Right, this is it!", but I couldn't make any fists or anything because I had drinks in both my hands.
I honestly thought he was going to hit me, but I was mentally prepared for it. Y'see, I spent all afternoon adopting the "crane" position and chanting "I am the Karate Kid, I am the Karate Kid", before we left. So I passed my drinks to my lady and fully expected to have to unleash the monkey fists of doom, but the bloke just made the international hand gesture for "waanker", and left it at that. Personally I'm glad things didn't kick off, because I was in a foul mood from stuff that had happened at home earlier anyway (parents, etc), and I was there with my girlfriend, mates, etc and the gig hadn't even started and I didn't want to get kicked out. I didn't see Angry Man for the rest of the evening. I'm not the hardest of people, but I really had some fury to unleash last night and he would have been at the receiving end if he had been stupid enough. What a twunt.
#2 - Spaced-out, Smacked-Up, Space Cadet Ranger Boy:
I've honestly never seen anyone as smashed as this poor fella. We stood at the back for the duration of the gig, and this guy was there just totally out of his head. He had loads of room to do slow, fairy dancing, like it was Woodstock or something. It was funny until he walked over to me and just stopped a few inches in front of my face and stared. stared right through me with an evil smirk. I had no idea whether he was going to hit me. I didn't flinch, in fact I smiled back. He gave me a thumbs up, so I gave him one back and turned it into the symbol for rock! Then he held out his fist and I hit it with my fist like a homie. This seemed to confuse him even further. As The Beast said afterwards "Don't try and be rational with a stoner, it won't work".
Luckily the Space Ranger was with some less stoned people and they apologised and dragged him off...only for him to dance back over and start stroking my chest...I took his hand off my chest and he started staring at me again. "Oh-oh", I though, "I've angered it", but he put his hand out for me to shake. And shake it I did...but then he tried to either kiss or bit my hand and it was at this point that I had to push him away, back to his mates. They apologised again, we retired to the bar and watched this guy dancing like t'were the 70's again!
#3 - Super-Friendly Metal Freak:
Although not technically a freak, or mental, it made a change to meet a pleasent person on the underground. But this was a friendly person with a difference - all he knew was metal. It was as if all he'd ever learnt was music and everything else had been pushed out of his brain. Friendly bloke though - apparently he'd just been DJ-ing at a rock club, and he proved it by opening his bag and showing us tons of CDs. Either that, or he'd just knocked over Tower Records.
So he took a guess that we'd been to see QOTSA and the Academy and started talking about Kyuss...then he talked some more about Kyuss and what albums we should get...then he went onto Queens, the some more, then he spent about 15 minutes giving us a lecture on the entire history of the band. the dude knew his stuff. Proper stereotypical metal fan though, just of the super-nice variety.
#4 - My Dad.
Lent me his card so I could get some money and then idly claimed he was going to ring my girlfriend's house at 2 in the morning to get it back. What a pr!ck.
So all in all it was a pretty...varied(?) night. The music was OK. We could hardly see the stage though, and it echoed miles too much up at the back. Got to Epping about 12:30 and had to get a cab to Harlow, but that's what we were expecting to do. I'm all pooped out now.
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Not comparing myself to s**t or anything, but I can't deny it any longer - I am a freak magnet!
Last night me& me lady, Snuggly and a mate who I shall name "The Beast", ventured into Brixton to see Queens of the Stone Age at Brixton Academy. Everything went swimmingly and we made it to the venue without getting stabbed/buggered/garroted by the local psychos and homeless. It was only when we got inside that the real mentalness kicked off. Heer's around-up of the more "freaky" people we encountered:
#1 - Angry, Angry, Angry, Angry Man:
It was so hot yeterday, the first thing I needed was a drink. So I waited at the bar for about 5-10 minutes for a bottle of water and a pint. As the barlady turned to me and asked what I wanted, this guy walked up next to me from nowhere and stared calling me names and accusing me of pushing in...even though I'd been there for ages. He didn't smell of beer, so I assumed he'd taken something, or was just clinically insane, and I let him get on with his business. The last thing I wanted was a fight with a strange tard in a strange town, so I stood there composing myself whilst he said things like "didn't your Mummy ever teach you manners you waanker", "I bet you go to the toilets after this and s**t yourself", just general abusive things, you know the score. So I got my drinks and left, but as I turned around, he leaned over about 3/4 people and tapped me on the shoulder. I thought to myself "Right, this is it!", but I couldn't make any fists or anything because I had drinks in both my hands.
I honestly thought he was going to hit me, but I was mentally prepared for it. Y'see, I spent all afternoon adopting the "crane" position and chanting "I am the Karate Kid, I am the Karate Kid", before we left. So I passed my drinks to my lady and fully expected to have to unleash the monkey fists of doom, but the bloke just made the international hand gesture for "waanker", and left it at that. Personally I'm glad things didn't kick off, because I was in a foul mood from stuff that had happened at home earlier anyway (parents, etc), and I was there with my girlfriend, mates, etc and the gig hadn't even started and I didn't want to get kicked out. I didn't see Angry Man for the rest of the evening. I'm not the hardest of people, but I really had some fury to unleash last night and he would have been at the receiving end if he had been stupid enough. What a twunt.
#2 - Spaced-out, Smacked-Up, Space Cadet Ranger Boy:
I've honestly never seen anyone as smashed as this poor fella. We stood at the back for the duration of the gig, and this guy was there just totally out of his head. He had loads of room to do slow, fairy dancing, like it was Woodstock or something. It was funny until he walked over to me and just stopped a few inches in front of my face and stared. stared right through me with an evil smirk. I had no idea whether he was going to hit me. I didn't flinch, in fact I smiled back. He gave me a thumbs up, so I gave him one back and turned it into the symbol for rock! Then he held out his fist and I hit it with my fist like a homie. This seemed to confuse him even further. As The Beast said afterwards "Don't try and be rational with a stoner, it won't work".
Luckily the Space Ranger was with some less stoned people and they apologised and dragged him off...only for him to dance back over and start stroking my chest...I took his hand off my chest and he started staring at me again. "Oh-oh", I though, "I've angered it", but he put his hand out for me to shake. And shake it I did...but then he tried to either kiss or bit my hand and it was at this point that I had to push him away, back to his mates. They apologised again, we retired to the bar and watched this guy dancing like t'were the 70's again!
#3 - Super-Friendly Metal Freak:
Although not technically a freak, or mental, it made a change to meet a pleasent person on the underground. But this was a friendly person with a difference - all he knew was metal. It was as if all he'd ever learnt was music and everything else had been pushed out of his brain. Friendly bloke though - apparently he'd just been DJ-ing at a rock club, and he proved it by opening his bag and showing us tons of CDs. Either that, or he'd just knocked over Tower Records.
So he took a guess that we'd been to see QOTSA and the Academy and started talking about Kyuss...then he talked some more about Kyuss and what albums we should get...then he went onto Queens, the some more, then he spent about 15 minutes giving us a lecture on the entire history of the band. the dude knew his stuff. Proper stereotypical metal fan though, just of the super-nice variety.
#4 - My Dad.
Lent me his card so I could get some money and then idly claimed he was going to ring my girlfriend's house at 2 in the morning to get it back. What a pr!ck.
So all in all it was a pretty...varied(?) night. The music was OK. We could hardly see the stage though, and it echoed miles too much up at the back. Got to Epping about 12:30 and had to get a cab to Harlow, but that's what we were expecting to do. I'm all pooped out now.
Last night me& me lady, Snuggly and a mate who I shall name "The Beast", ventured into Brixton to see Queens of the Stone Age at Brixton Academy. Everything went swimmingly and we made it to the venue without getting stabbed/buggered/garroted by the local psychos and homeless. It was only when we got inside that the real mentalness kicked off. Heer's around-up of the more "freaky" people we encountered:
#1 - Angry, Angry, Angry, Angry Man:
It was so hot yeterday, the first thing I needed was a drink. So I waited at the bar for about 5-10 minutes for a bottle of water and a pint. As the barlady turned to me and asked what I wanted, this guy walked up next to me from nowhere and stared calling me names and accusing me of pushing in...even though I'd been there for ages. He didn't smell of beer, so I assumed he'd taken something, or was just clinically insane, and I let him get on with his business. The last thing I wanted was a fight with a strange tard in a strange town, so I stood there composing myself whilst he said things like "didn't your Mummy ever teach you manners you waanker", "I bet you go to the toilets after this and s**t yourself", just general abusive things, you know the score. So I got my drinks and left, but as I turned around, he leaned over about 3/4 people and tapped me on the shoulder. I thought to myself "Right, this is it!", but I couldn't make any fists or anything because I had drinks in both my hands.
I honestly thought he was going to hit me, but I was mentally prepared for it. Y'see, I spent all afternoon adopting the "crane" position and chanting "I am the Karate Kid, I am the Karate Kid", before we left. So I passed my drinks to my lady and fully expected to have to unleash the monkey fists of doom, but the bloke just made the international hand gesture for "waanker", and left it at that. Personally I'm glad things didn't kick off, because I was in a foul mood from stuff that had happened at home earlier anyway (parents, etc), and I was there with my girlfriend, mates, etc and the gig hadn't even started and I didn't want to get kicked out. I didn't see Angry Man for the rest of the evening. I'm not the hardest of people, but I really had some fury to unleash last night and he would have been at the receiving end if he had been stupid enough. What a twunt.
#2 - Spaced-out, Smacked-Up, Space Cadet Ranger Boy:
I've honestly never seen anyone as smashed as this poor fella. We stood at the back for the duration of the gig, and this guy was there just totally out of his head. He had loads of room to do slow, fairy dancing, like it was Woodstock or something. It was funny until he walked over to me and just stopped a few inches in front of my face and stared. stared right through me with an evil smirk. I had no idea whether he was going to hit me. I didn't flinch, in fact I smiled back. He gave me a thumbs up, so I gave him one back and turned it into the symbol for rock! Then he held out his fist and I hit it with my fist like a homie. This seemed to confuse him even further. As The Beast said afterwards "Don't try and be rational with a stoner, it won't work".
Luckily the Space Ranger was with some less stoned people and they apologised and dragged him off...only for him to dance back over and start stroking my chest...I took his hand off my chest and he started staring at me again. "Oh-oh", I though, "I've angered it", but he put his hand out for me to shake. And shake it I did...but then he tried to either kiss or bit my hand and it was at this point that I had to push him away, back to his mates. They apologised again, we retired to the bar and watched this guy dancing like t'were the 70's again!
#3 - Super-Friendly Metal Freak:
Although not technically a freak, or mental, it made a change to meet a pleasent person on the underground. But this was a friendly person with a difference - all he knew was metal. It was as if all he'd ever learnt was music and everything else had been pushed out of his brain. Friendly bloke though - apparently he'd just been DJ-ing at a rock club, and he proved it by opening his bag and showing us tons of CDs. Either that, or he'd just knocked over Tower Records.
So he took a guess that we'd been to see QOTSA and the Academy and started talking about Kyuss...then he talked some more about Kyuss and what albums we should get...then he went onto Queens, the some more, then he spent about 15 minutes giving us a lecture on the entire history of the band. the dude knew his stuff. Proper stereotypical metal fan though, just of the super-nice variety.
#4 - My Dad.
Lent me his card so I could get some money and then idly claimed he was going to ring my girlfriend's house at 2 in the morning to get it back. What a pr!ck.
So all in all it was a pretty...varied(?) night. The music was OK. We could hardly see the stage though, and it echoed miles too much up at the back. Got to Epping about 12:30 and had to get a cab to Harlow, but that's what we were expecting to do. I'm all pooped out now.
sounds like a good night dude :)
the acadamy is an odd place, it tends to get more than it's fair share of oddballs..
well done on not getting into bother though :)
the acadamy is an odd place, it tends to get more than it's fair share of oddballs..
well done on not getting into bother though :)
Sounds like a pretty sound night mate, except I aint really a QOTSA fan.
I'm going to see Spineshank at Leeds Uni next month, should be a laugh, unless the freaks come after me. Its funny though because you see the propper Yorkshire metal fans and its hilarius. I dont have a broad Yorkshire accent, I just sound rough. But the propper Yorkshire folks who have probably walked off the set of Emmardale are like, "Naa' then 'ahh kid, 'ow'd yuh like them' ol' metal bands? I saa' 'em on't t'internet ahh did!"
It rocks.
I'm going to see Spineshank at Leeds Uni next month, should be a laugh, unless the freaks come after me. Its funny though because you see the propper Yorkshire metal fans and its hilarius. I dont have a broad Yorkshire accent, I just sound rough. But the propper Yorkshire folks who have probably walked off the set of Emmardale are like, "Naa' then 'ahh kid, 'ow'd yuh like them' ol' metal bands? I saa' 'em on't t'internet ahh did!"
It rocks.
When NOWHERE (NOFX) came on, I jumped up and went to dance because it's my favourite song. NEway, my gf said I wacked some guy and he came to get me. it's a circle pit! Some people are stupid.
Guy #2 was JBH.
I don't get it. To start talking to guy number 3, you'd have to have made some sort of contact with him.
You were on the undergournd right?
Tourists. tut tut.
You were on the undergournd right?
Tourists. tut tut.
I was at that gig and some ****tard pushed in at the bar, boy was I angry.
You just don't talk to people on the Undergroud.
*buzzes into monkey_man's thread and strikes a weirdo Blue Bottle pose*
Miserableman wrote:
> I was at that gig and some ****tard pushed in at the bar, boy was I
> angry.
Tee hee. But if you were that guy, you'd probably be in a loony bin somewhere now.
Oh yeah, and the metal-man on the underground took a good guess that we'd been to see QOTSA and just started talking about them.
> I was at that gig and some ****tard pushed in at the bar, boy was I
> angry.
Tee hee. But if you were that guy, you'd probably be in a loony bin somewhere now.
Oh yeah, and the metal-man on the underground took a good guess that we'd been to see QOTSA and just started talking about them.
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