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"It never ends the way you think it will"

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Sun 15/06/03 at 15:46
Regular
Posts: 787
It's a bit sad in our house today. My cousin died this morning.

We weren't close - although we live(d) on the same estate just a few hundred yards apart, we hadn't seen each other for a few years, until last week. Even then I only saw her long enough to say "hello" and "goodbye".

She'd had her share of problems. Was a mum at a young age, two of her four kids have had kids of their own, even though none of them are yet 16. She had drug problems - and I mean hard drugs such as Crack, not just the odd spliff.

She was quite stunning looking, until the last few years when the drugs started to take their toll. She lost a lot of weight, and was very pale skinned - nothing like I'd remembered her, but exactly as other family members had described her recently.

Needless to say, most people who knew her thought that one day she would kill herself with an overdose, and that was the first thing that went through our minds when we heard the news this morning. But that wasn't what had happened at all.

Last night she went out with some friends. They were driving home this morning somewhere around 8am, when - apparently - the driver fell asleep at the wheel, while on a main road through town, about 3 miles from home.

The car crashed into the wall of a pub which I've been to many times. Everyone else is apparently okay, but she died at the scene. At 32, she was just a few months older than me.

So as I said, it never ends the way you think it will.

It would be hypocritical to say that I'm in floods of tears, because I'm not. As I said, I hardly ever saw her, and never really knew her. But it's saddening, all the same. Someone survives all that, and then goes out like this. Makes you wonder.

You never think, when you see or speak to someone, that it could be the last time you ever see them. To me it seems odd that I saw her last week for the first time in years, and now she's gone for good. I won't go into details here, but there were some unusual circumstances which led to us seeing each other on that particular day. It just seems so spooky.

I'm not a religious person at all, but maybe it was just fate? Too much happened for it to be just pure chance - I'm sure of that.

Still, that's my little sad story for the day.

Rest in peace, Jo.
Sun 15/06/03 at 15:46
"High polygon count"
Posts: 15,624
It's a bit sad in our house today. My cousin died this morning.

We weren't close - although we live(d) on the same estate just a few hundred yards apart, we hadn't seen each other for a few years, until last week. Even then I only saw her long enough to say "hello" and "goodbye".

She'd had her share of problems. Was a mum at a young age, two of her four kids have had kids of their own, even though none of them are yet 16. She had drug problems - and I mean hard drugs such as Crack, not just the odd spliff.

She was quite stunning looking, until the last few years when the drugs started to take their toll. She lost a lot of weight, and was very pale skinned - nothing like I'd remembered her, but exactly as other family members had described her recently.

Needless to say, most people who knew her thought that one day she would kill herself with an overdose, and that was the first thing that went through our minds when we heard the news this morning. But that wasn't what had happened at all.

Last night she went out with some friends. They were driving home this morning somewhere around 8am, when - apparently - the driver fell asleep at the wheel, while on a main road through town, about 3 miles from home.

The car crashed into the wall of a pub which I've been to many times. Everyone else is apparently okay, but she died at the scene. At 32, she was just a few months older than me.

So as I said, it never ends the way you think it will.

It would be hypocritical to say that I'm in floods of tears, because I'm not. As I said, I hardly ever saw her, and never really knew her. But it's saddening, all the same. Someone survives all that, and then goes out like this. Makes you wonder.

You never think, when you see or speak to someone, that it could be the last time you ever see them. To me it seems odd that I saw her last week for the first time in years, and now she's gone for good. I won't go into details here, but there were some unusual circumstances which led to us seeing each other on that particular day. It just seems so spooky.

I'm not a religious person at all, but maybe it was just fate? Too much happened for it to be just pure chance - I'm sure of that.

Still, that's my little sad story for the day.

Rest in peace, Jo.
Sun 15/06/03 at 15:59
Regular
Posts: 20,776
sorry to hear that WM, hope you and your family can find the strength to get through this very difficult time.

I don't know if I believe in fate or not, but I do believe that when it's your time to go, it's your time to go. there is little you can do about it, life deals us cards and we have to do the best with them we can.

My condolences and I'm glad you shared it with us.
Sun 15/06/03 at 18:23
" Crazy!"
Posts: 1,768
If you ddin't talk to her that much it won't affect you.
Sun 15/06/03 at 18:27
Regular
"Wobble"
Posts: 264
Wow, talk about missing the point, dude!
Sun 15/06/03 at 18:27
Regular
Posts: 20,776
The craziest Col! wrote:
> If you ddin't talk to her that much it won't affect you.

thats rubbish, there was a guy my age who lived across the road, I rarely if ever spoke to him. he died of cancer. it still affected me, it is a strange feeling to know you'll never see someone again, whoever they are.
Sun 15/06/03 at 18:30
" Crazy!"
Posts: 1,768
I know what the point was, the same thing happended with my Grandma. Well not exactly the same.

She had cancer, I knew she was going to die, one night my mam came in and told me she had died about an hour ago, I said OK and fall back asleep, I loved my Grandma but to tell the truth we was never cloe enough. I was more upset when I had my first dog put down.
Sun 15/06/03 at 18:31
Regular
Posts: 20,776
I worked out that I have known 6 people who have died over my lifetime, some I knew well, others not so well.

It has given me the outlook that life is precious, and you cannot take it for granted - ever.
Sun 15/06/03 at 19:10
Regular
"Chavez, just hush.."
Posts: 11,080
The craziest Col! wrote:
> If you ddin't talk to her that much it won't affect you.

You're a complete tosspot!

Think before you speak!

First the 'I'm not racist, I just prefer being around white people' comment and now this!

You really need a kick in the head to knock some sense into you.

The fact that he didn't know her that well wasn't the point, it's just the story behind it. You never know someone and before you have the chance to really get to know them they've gone. You could talk to anyone knowing that it might be the last time you ever see them.

Just think of it like that. Just think how it could all end the next time you walk out of your house, how you never got to say goodbye to anyone. It just ended.

And the fact that he didn't know her, he shouldn't be affected!?!? So when you hear about someone famous dying you don't feel slightly upset inside. Get a small feeling of sorrow for their family and friends, just think how it's sad that life just suddenly ends?

An even better example, films. Have you never felt upset tiny bit because of a film? I never get upset but when Mufasa died in 'The Lion King' I felt slightly saddened. Even though it was a cartoon, just imagining that it was real, seeing Simba trying to wake his Dad up. It really was quite saddening.

Same thing with getting scared of films. Why do you get scared? It doesn't affect you and it's not real. Why don't you just turn it off and go somewhere else?

There's more to life than just, "Oh it doesn't affect me, sod it." Just look slightly deeping into life than just having the shallow idiotic approach that you seem to have.

P.S Don't quote all of this when you attempt to make a 'valid' arguement. Just refer to it.
Sun 15/06/03 at 19:37
" Crazy!"
Posts: 1,768
phi11ip wrote:
> The craziest Col! wrote:
> If you ddin't talk to her that much it won't affect you.
>
> You're a complete tosspot!
>
> Think before you speak!
>
> First the 'I'm not racist, I just prefer being around white people'
> comment and now this!
>
> You really need a kick in the head to knock some sense into you.
>
> The fact that he didn't know her that well wasn't the point, it's just
> the story behind it. You never know someone and before you have the
> chance to really get to know them they've gone. You could talk to
> anyone knowing that it might be the last time you ever see them.
>
> Just think of it like that. Just think how it could all end the next
> time you walk out of your house, how you never got to say goodbye to
> anyone. It just ended.
>
> And the fact that he didn't know her, he shouldn't be affected!?!? So
> when you hear about someone famous dying you don't feel slightly upset
> inside. Get a small feeling of sorrow for their family and friends,
> just think how it's sad that life just suddenly ends?
>
> An even better example, films. Have you never felt upset tiny bit
> because of a film? I never get upset but when Mufasa died in 'The Lion
> King' I felt slightly saddened. Even though it was a cartoon, just
> imagining that it was real, seeing Simba trying to wake his Dad up. It
> really was quite saddening.
>
> Same thing with getting scared of films. Why do you get scared? It
> doesn't affect you and it's not real. Why don't you just turn it off
> and go somewhere else?
>
> There's more to life than just, "Oh it doesn't affect me, sod
> it." Just look slightly deeping into life than just having the
> shallow idiotic approach that you seem to have.
>
> P.S Don't quote all of this when you attempt to make a 'valid'
> arguement. Just refer to it.

How about no.

Films don't ffect me becasue quite franklly it simply dosn't. I don't get emotional over nothing. Even if my life did end whenI walk out my door, I wouldn't give a damn becasue I would be dead. Plus I would go out the window instead.

"Oh it doesn't affect me, sod it." Hey you got my feelings towards September 11th nearly spot on.
Sun 15/06/03 at 19:38
Regular
"Subliminal messenge"
Posts: 1,039
That was a bit insensetive col,

Phi11ip, I don't know what you are like all the time, because i've only been here a few days, but the only times i've seen you post, it's a complaint about someone else. You have valid points to make, but I think you should let the people involved sort it out, like col and monster. I don't mean to offend you, and this is based only upon what i've seen in the past few days, and again you do have valid points, but I would just let others sort it out for themselves, unless you feel very strongly about it, which if you do, you should probably ignore this post. What do you think about what crazy col said monster?



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