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"GAD Busters (Spoof)"

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Thu 12/06/03 at 15:32
Regular
Posts: 787
Dedicated to Rickoss – Happy Birthday dude!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- In a ramshackle building, behind Cheltenham Burger King, lies the base of the elite GAD Busters, a group of moronic ghost busters who enjoy playing poker-

Robin: I’ve got 4 queens, beat that!

RoJ: I have 5 queens, I win!

El Blokey: I have the cliché card, I win!

- Blokey grabs the pile of cash in the middle of the table and pockets it -

Sfone: Hey, you didn’t wait to see what cards I had!

RoJ: Dude, you don’t have cards – remember what the doctor said about corners…

Sfone: Oh yeah. Can someone loosen my straightjacket?

- The phone rings and everyone looks surprised, Blokey picks up the receiver-

El Blokey: Hello, GAD Busters…

Woman: I need your help, there is a ghost in our restaurant!

El Blokey: We’ll be right there…

Woman: Don’t you need to take my address?

El Blokey: Nah, we’ll drive around for hours until we find it.

Woman: O…K….

- El Blokey slams down the receiver -

El Blokey: Men… We have a mission

- The men high-five each other, except Sfone who is still in a straightjacket

Robin: Well what are we waiting for?

RoJ: To the GAD Mobile!

El Blokey: You mean the van?

RoJ: Aye, the van

- The four guys get into a battered old repair van and speed off down the road. Several hours later they arrive outside an old takeaway shop and go inside -

Woman: You took yer time didn’t you!

El Blokey: Shut up, woman!

Sfone: Or I’ll put a cap in yo ass!

RoJ: Hence the straightjacket…

Robin: So, where’s this ghost?

Woman: In the kitchens, but beware, its evviiiiiillll!

El Blokey: Shut up, woman!

- The guys walk into the kitchen to see a piece of garlic bread floating in the air -

Robin: Ooh poltergeist

Woman: No, the actual garlic bread is haunted.

RoJ: Erm…

Garlic Bread: I…Am….Evil…!

Woman: I told you!

Sfone: Argh!

Shaggy: What do we do Scooby!?

El Blokey: Wrong set jackass!

Shaggy: Oh, my bad.

- Robin picks up a rolling pin from the work surface -

Robin: Asta la vista, Garlic Bread

- Robin beats the evil garlic bread into a mushy dough -

RoJ: Do you always have to beat stuff with a rolling pin?

Robin: It’s my trademark

Woman: Oh thank you so much!

El Blokey: Can you pay us?

Woman: … Get out!

El Blokey: But…

- The door slams in the guys faces, Sfone gets his tongue caught in the door -

Sfone: Athhhhhhh uwwwttttsss

RoJ: What he say?

Robin: Let’s kick him in the face and steal his wallet. Like we did last summer…

El Blokey: We made a pact to never speak of that…

RoJ: You have broken the pact…

Robin: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!

RoJ: Get him!

El Blokey: Nah, I just ate.

- The guys drive back to the base and Sfone untraps his tongue and runs back-

Sfone: You God damn mother Fu..

- Phone rings -

El Blokey: Hello, GAD Busters…

Feller: Hey, um, there’s a, erm, ghost, um, inside my liquor store.

El Blokey: We’ll be right there

Feller: Don’t you need the address?

El Blokey: No, we’ll drive around town for hours and find it

Feller: You crazy punk!

- Blokey slams phone down -

- Robin slams Sfone down, on the floor, onto some broken glass, cutting him a lot -

Sfone: Dude, ow!

Robin: It’s my trademark.

RoJ: How about the rolling pins…

Robin: Its my second trademark

RoJ: Oh… are we going to another job again?

El Blokey: Yep, some liquor store

RoJ: Weyhey!

Robin: It’s you AA meeting tonight though.

RoJ: Shhh!

- The four pile into the old repair van again and speed around Cheltenham Soho looking for what might be a haunted liquor store. 4 stab wounds and a police escort later, the pull up outside Eddie’s Liquor -

El Blokey: This must be the place

Sfone: I’m bleeding!

Feller: Hey, you the ghost buster guys?

El Blokey: Yea, but you can’t use that name – its copyrighted

Feller: Oh…

RoJ: We’re the GAD Busters

Feller: Oh…

RoJ: The writer though it would make it relevant to SR

Feller: Oh…

RoJ: I’m going to stop talking now

Feller: Come inside!

- The feller walks inside the liquor store followed by the 4 guys -

El Blokey: So, where’s the ghost?

Feller: There he is!

- The feller points to a translucent hobo, swigging brandy in the corner of the shop -

Feller: He steals all my booze!

RoJ: Booze!

- Blokey slaps RoJ-

El Blokey: Go and wait in the van

RoJ: Yes sir…

El Blokey: Robin, this one is yours…

Robin: Oooh yes!

- Robin grabs a rolling pin and beats the crap out of the ghost until it disappears, the puts a crate of Carlsberg Export under his jacket and promptly walks out of the shop -

El Blokey: We’ll our work here is done!

Feller: Thank you!

- The van speeds off into the sunset with happy 80’s music playing, then the writer realises it is totally gay and cuts to the guys been at the base without any explanation of how they got there -

Sfone: These stab wounds hurt a lot, I think I need medical attention…

RoJ: Shut up whining

Sfone: Says you, you Goddamn fish raping son of a Bi…

- Phone Rings -

El Blokey: Hello, British Gas… I mean, GAD Busters…

Young Woman: Hey, there is a ghost tormenting me and my sexy flatmate

El Blokey: Jackpot lads!

Young Woman: Excuse me!

El Blokey: Sorry we’re…um…playing…um… Bingo!

Young Woman: Oh, anyway do you need my address.

El Blokey: Yes!

- Blokey takes the woman’s details and drools on the receiver a bit -

El Blokey: Lets go, fast!

- The guys jump into their van and zoom straight to the flat of the young sexy women and knock on the door. A gorgeous young woman answers in a sheer nightgown. -

Young Woman: Hello, please you must do something about this ghost!

El Blokey: Well we will do what we can. Can you describe it for us…

Young Woman: Well it keeps changing form, one minute it will be a quirky Irish leprechaun and the next it will be a dreamy Yorkshire lad who throws his gym card at us.

El Blokey: As I expected, it’s a Kyz22!

RoJ: Nooooooooooooooooo

- Blokey slaps RoJ -

El Blokey: Go and wait in the car

RoJ: Yes sir…

Young Woman: Oh no, there he is now!

Kyz22: Top o’ the mornin’ to you!

Sfone: Hehehe, he’s Irish!

Kyz22: Shut up, I go to a gym you know!

Sfone: Oh..

Kyz22: Want me to scan you my membership card in?

Sfone: Scan it into what?

Kyz22: Exactly!

- Sfone’s head explodes from the confusion -

Kyz22: Haha, come and get me!

Shaggy: Run for it Scooby!

El Blokey: Dude, not again!

Shaggy: Oh, I’m sorry…

- Blokey shoots Shaggy in the face with a shotgun –

El Blokey: Don’t let it happen again!

Shaggy: My eyes! My beautiful eyes!

Robin: Kyz22, you’re dead meat!

Kyz22: Bring it on you punk! I do boxing; want to see my membership card?

Robin: No, shut up and let me mash your face in!

El Blokey: Get him Robin!

- Robin runs at Kyz22 with the rolling pin and whacks him on the back of the head and pummels him into a bloody heap -

Kyz22: Oh that’s it you cocky bast…

- Owl flies past and hoots really loud –

Robin: Bring it on!

- Kyz22 and Robin fight for ages and eventually Robin stick the rolling pin into Kyz22’s heart -

Young Woman: Nooo!

Young Woman 2: Why do the beautiful ones die so young?

Young Woman: Kyz22, you’re so dreamy!

Kyz22: I know ladies, I know…

- Kyz22 dies -


Due to the writer being dead, the spoof cannot be completed partly because the ideas have being exhausted and partly because, well, the writer is dead. So lets just say RoJ and Sfone became Olympic pole-vaulters, Robin wrote a book entitled ‘101 ways to kill people with a rolling pin’ and El Blokey continued working as a GAD Buster but eventually ran into debt and the government repossessed his shoes.
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:30
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
Oh sheet I did as well.

Right, remind me before spoof off and you'll be in that. I promise!
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:33
Regular
"Hallelujah"
Posts: 2,731
t'was fun. I particularly enjoyed the whole alcholic and go wait in the car gags...o yea and I WAS IN IT!!!
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:37
Regular
"Light of the world"
Posts: 4,763
Kyz22 wrote:
> The gym card joke is an old thing - phi11ip and chipsy will remember
> it...
>
> Claire I was going to make you a hooker in it but Sam might hurt me.
>
> *cowers*



already been done!!!

:P
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:38
Regular
"Baros!!!"
Posts: 6,989
Very good Scooby...I mean Kyz22.

=D
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:40
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
Thanks foreman - you finishing the stat-attack thingy soon...please :-D
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:42
Regular
Posts: 10,437
Great story Kyz :-)
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:42
Regular
Posts: 3,937
Good story.
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:46
Regular
"Baros!!!"
Posts: 6,989
Kyz22 wrote:
> Thanks foreman - you finishing the stat-attack thingy soon...please
> :-D

Yep, might finish it off tomorrow.
Thu 12/06/03 at 19:47
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
*cough* rig it *cough*

:-D

Seriously though, how do you determine who wins?
Fri 13/06/03 at 10:34
Regular
"QPR 1974"
Posts: 2,539
"Kyz22: Oh that’s it you cocky bast…

- Owl flies past and hoots really loud –"

:D

*moves unervily, and salivates down straight jacket*

It was truely excellent. Well played... How-a-bout no... Hows about I burn you... ;)

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