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"A childhood that started at 19"

The majority of people have happy childhood memories. Fond recollections of the past- your first walkman or your family as a whole. But for me, I don't have any happy memories. As a child, I was abused, molested and taunted by a man who found it fun to 'play' with Children. To date, I have forgotten about my experiences- I finally got over the fact that he was never caught. I have nightmares occasionally, but it's nothing I can't handle.

Uni starts next week. Until now, I have always been a lonely being. I find my own company the best. I have many friends on the internet, but no real friends that I can share a beer with, or generally mix with. That's why University will be my defining moment. Friends can help jog the memories from my head, and can let me get on with my life.

A few days until I go to Uni now, I can't wait. My parents will be fairly upset- they are oblivious to what happened and believe I had a normal upbringing. Keeping my secret concealed for so long has had its effects on me- I don't feel safe talking to people, giving them personal information. I can't share my experiences- happy or sad. Maybe this will change.

Finally, the big day. I say my final goodbye to my parents, and head off into a new world. I arrived at Warwick University in the afternoon, dropped off my belongings and headed off for some food. Later that evening, I decided to talk to my roommate.

His name was Joe. Seemed fairly similar to me, yet I doubt he has had the same childhood. We talk for a couple of hours, before I head off to bed, ready for the morning.

Getting up was an easy task, as was getting ready. Grabbing my iPod and notebook, I leave my room for my first Lecture. I opened the door, and immediately my nostrils filled with a stench so horrid it sent shakes from head to toe. I have smelt this stench before, but my memory fails me. Time to meet the man responsible for my Education, Mr. Jeffery. His bald head turned round, his eyes piercing my own. It was him. He was the one that caused so many night of worry, of pain and of utter despair. He was the one who tormented me. He was my alleged 'classroom assistant'. There was no mistaking that smell- it was the smell of revenge.

I sit down, hoping he won't recognise me. He glances around the room, gazing at my peers one by one. Focusing on me, his eyebrow twitches, but he carries on scanning the room. He has no idea who I am.

I plug my iPod in, and start listening to tunes as I write my first assignment- Life as a Child. It's all a horrid lie. Fake memories, an unreal brother and happy times. I can't let him know who I am, not yet.

Arriving in class the following week, I was told to see 'him' at the end. Maybe he knows?

I wait patiently for him to finish the lecture, and everyone piles out of the room. I stick my music on hold, and walk over to him.

"Fantastic essay Mr…"

"Peters. Matt Peters"

"Would you mind reading it out for the class tomorrow? People benefit from hearing other assignments."

"Yeah, sure. No problem."


I walk out; I can taste the revenge already. Adrenaline is pumping through my body, it was the perfect opportunity.

The next day arrives, the sunlight shining through the half-drawn curtains. I reach the room 10 minutes later, and prepare to read my assignment to the class. Except this is my Diary; my peers won't know that.

"Let me start off by telling you my troubles as a child. The man you see standing beside me, he is responsible for crimes that you can't comprehend. Yes, Mr. Jeffery here, he thought it was fun to play with children. In fact, he had one little boy in mind, didn't you? Yes, because you see, that little boy was me"

The whole rooms suddenly silences. Pens lids stop clicking, all eyes drawn to Mr. Jeffery.

"He lies! I have done nothing of the sort!"

"Then explain the mark your ring left on my back"

It was a perfect match.

He was hauled away the same day, the police were more then happy to arrest him. He had changed his identity several times; they had been searching for him over a period of four years.

So now, a year on into my University life, I'm finally enjoying the adventure. I have a serious relationship with a Girl from my English class, and Joe has been more of a friend than I could have imagined.

I can't really explain it, but for some reason, I feel that y life as a child never really existed. When I think of my childhood, I don't see my younger self, but a happy man, enjoying life. Because his life started with his advance into University. The past is a distant memory, hidden behind friendship, love, and ultimately, revenge and justice.

That was cool, first long-ish thing ive read for a while.

Thanks for the replies.

Brilliant, I enjoyed reading that.

I had my 2nd GCSE today, Media studies.

T'was easy.

Black Glove wrote:
> As I was reading it, I was thinking: "is this real?". Cool
> story.

oops i meant to add the non at the end of asking if it's a story or the latter.

I wasted my teenage years. You see all these people talking about how high school/college/uni was great and you think "Eh?" Well, it is what you make it. I wasted my time at 6th form, I did it because my parents wanted me to do it, and also because I couldn't think of what I wanted to do as the next step. Because I'm lazy. People made it seem like I could do 6th form and the door for what I wanted would be opened after I finished. Bull plop.

All my friends, every single one, either left 6th form after a few months, or didn't go at all. Suddenly I was stuck in a building with 40 people I didn't like. And you can bet they didn't like me. 6th form sucked almighty balls. I'd gone from being friends with the most popular kids in school to being the kid who comes in and sits down by himself. Sure, I talked to some people, but I wouldn't class any of them as friends.

College is a lot better, you start with a clean slate. No five year old rumours following you around, no opinions, no "you're not popular enough to talk to us" just a chance to give a good first impression. Not sure where this is going, but I decided to rant for a bit. Rant over.

As I was reading it, I was thinking: "is this real?". Cool story.

Actually, saying all that about the GCSEs and A-Levels not mattering...

A mate of mine is about to finish Uni with a 1st. There's no doubt about it, he's slogged his guts out to get the best mark he possibly could - and he deserves it. But certain graduate placement companies won't accept him because the grades he got at A-Level aren't high enough. Someone who has proved his worth at the highest level of education in Britain won't be listed because of some exams he took as a kid. That sucks.

Must be great thinking about the future. Glad to hear everything got sorted out.

I have my first GCSE tomorrow. Not really looking forward to it, but honestly, does anyone? People say GCSEs are not important, but they must mean something, right?

Mine wasn't fiction by the way - it actually happened. Even the part about the army of winged cats.

I can't remember when i was lower than 5 years old .. but i still have a few memories 5 years old up to now. I remember reversing my parents car by accident then turning the wheel until it went back into position, i dont even know that was a dream but i swear it happened.