Viewing Thread:
"Small Pain (Poem)"

small pain
like tooth ache
in my body
hurting me

tiny pills
like candy
in my body
helping me

little better
like magic
in my body
healing me

more pain
than yesterday
in my body
hiting me

tiny pills
like bullets
in my body
harming me

Dont' tempt meh, it'll be all hair-grabby and swearing

Goatboy wrote:

> Write what you like else I'll get moody

I could go for that.

Rosalind wrote:
> perhaps instead of dismissing it off hand you could tell me what you
> don't like about it, so that next time I will be all improved.
---

No. Do not compromise your feelings/thoughts for the sakes of others.
You wrote it. Those that criticised have never posted any poetry of their own - hence not qualified to comment on why it's "pish"

Write what you like else I'll get moody

I liked it.

I find it difficult to comment on poetry, but I liked the confilct between each verse, and the way it develops.

Borat Sagdiyev wrote:
> not especially, it's all a bit 'hallmark' to me.

sorry rosalind, that sounds a bit nasty, you're poetry is fine, it's just not my thing really.

perhaps instead of dismissing it off hand you could tell me what you don't like about it, so that next time I will be all improved.

Erm bit pish

No offence

not especially, it's all a bit 'hallmark' to me.

Could, except I've posted this now.

I didn't used to be the only one who posted poetry, eberyone else has stopped though.

If you want to start a poetry thread then I'll happily post in it.

I'm guessing your not a fan.

'ere female, how about creating a 'poem' thread and shoving all your efforts in there?

just a thought ....