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I've mentioned this before but I don't care. I know a lot of you are sick and tired of the topics I post but I don't care about that either. This is for thoses of you who care enough to be interested in what I write, but mostly this is for me. I have some sort of need to get this expressed. Screw anyone of you who critises me for posting this, or for whhat I am about to post. The problem is with you, not with me.
For a few months I have undergone a rather radical change in my life.I used have faith in God. The God. The one in the bible. The one with the commandments and the moral code I was supposed to live my life by.
I could never live up to the particular moral code that I was supposed to live my life by of course. Things that I was supposed to find wrong I just couldn't. I couldn't find it in my heart to believe that there is anything wrong with finding your soulmate in a person of the same sex. If its Love then how could it be wrong?
As alot of you know I live with my boyfriend. Last December we got engaged, but before that we lived together in exactly the same way. According to the bible I was sinning. I was having sex with someone whom I wasn't married to. My sex life suffered greatly. I would make excuses so I didn't have to do it, and then when I did, I would feel guilty afterwards. But I couldn't give my boyfriend up, as much as Christians whom I had asked for advice had warned against me partnering myself with a non-christian, it just didn't feel wrong to me. It felt so right.
This God who I belived in was supposed to love me. I have never felt that. I have never felt watched over I have never felt protected.
I went through an amazingly bad time trying to get to grips with all this. But I have come out of feeling amazing. I know for certain sure that the God that I have believed in for my life so far does not exist. He is a myth that has kept me in chains all my life and made me dissaprove of things that in my heart I can't believe are wrong.
I feel so liberated now. Like someone has untied me and set me free to live my own life, but Its also a little scary as if my security blanket had been taken away from me. Its taken me a while to adjust to the fact that i will die, and then I'll be dead. (I realise that sounds a bit mental). I still find myself being dissaproving of something, and then wondering why.
Bottom line, I'm still adjusting, but I'm happier than ever.
For a few months I have undergone a rather radical change in my life.I used have faith in God. The God. The one in the bible. The one with the commandments and the moral code I was supposed to live my life by.
I could never live up to the particular moral code that I was supposed to live my life by of course. Things that I was supposed to find wrong I just couldn't. I couldn't find it in my heart to believe that there is anything wrong with finding your soulmate in a person of the same sex. If its Love then how could it be wrong?
As alot of you know I live with my boyfriend. Last December we got engaged, but before that we lived together in exactly the same way. According to the bible I was sinning. I was having sex with someone whom I wasn't married to. My sex life suffered greatly. I would make excuses so I didn't have to do it, and then when I did, I would feel guilty afterwards. But I couldn't give my boyfriend up, as much as Christians whom I had asked for advice had warned against me partnering myself with a non-christian, it just didn't feel wrong to me. It felt so right.
This God who I belived in was supposed to love me. I have never felt that. I have never felt watched over I have never felt protected.
I went through an amazingly bad time trying to get to grips with all this. But I have come out of feeling amazing. I know for certain sure that the God that I have believed in for my life so far does not exist. He is a myth that has kept me in chains all my life and made me dissaprove of things that in my heart I can't believe are wrong.
I feel so liberated now. Like someone has untied me and set me free to live my own life, but Its also a little scary as if my security blanket had been taken away from me. Its taken me a while to adjust to the fact that i will die, and then I'll be dead. (I realise that sounds a bit mental). I still find myself being dissaproving of something, and then wondering why.
Bottom line, I'm still adjusting, but I'm happier than ever.
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Well I think this post speaks for itself. If it made you happy, then you did the right thing.
Rosalind wrote:
> Its taken me a while to adjust
> to the fact that i will die, and then I'll be dead. (I realise that
> sounds a bit mental).
Just because you don't believe in the Christian God anymore doesn't mean that death = oblivion. Spirituality is still important with or without a limited vision of God.
I've always seen God as a stepping stone, you've got to stand on It in order to reach higher and deeper.
Interesting post by the way.
> Its taken me a while to adjust
> to the fact that i will die, and then I'll be dead. (I realise that
> sounds a bit mental).
Just because you don't believe in the Christian God anymore doesn't mean that death = oblivion. Spirituality is still important with or without a limited vision of God.
I've always seen God as a stepping stone, you've got to stand on It in order to reach higher and deeper.
Interesting post by the way.
I've mentioned this before but I don't care. I know a lot of you are sick and tired of the topics I post but I don't care about that either. This is for thoses of you who care enough to be interested in what I write, but mostly this is for me. I have some sort of need to get this expressed. Screw anyone of you who critises me for posting this, or for whhat I am about to post. The problem is with you, not with me.
For a few months I have undergone a rather radical change in my life.I used have faith in God. The God. The one in the bible. The one with the commandments and the moral code I was supposed to live my life by.
I could never live up to the particular moral code that I was supposed to live my life by of course. Things that I was supposed to find wrong I just couldn't. I couldn't find it in my heart to believe that there is anything wrong with finding your soulmate in a person of the same sex. If its Love then how could it be wrong?
As alot of you know I live with my boyfriend. Last December we got engaged, but before that we lived together in exactly the same way. According to the bible I was sinning. I was having sex with someone whom I wasn't married to. My sex life suffered greatly. I would make excuses so I didn't have to do it, and then when I did, I would feel guilty afterwards. But I couldn't give my boyfriend up, as much as Christians whom I had asked for advice had warned against me partnering myself with a non-christian, it just didn't feel wrong to me. It felt so right.
This God who I belived in was supposed to love me. I have never felt that. I have never felt watched over I have never felt protected.
I went through an amazingly bad time trying to get to grips with all this. But I have come out of feeling amazing. I know for certain sure that the God that I have believed in for my life so far does not exist. He is a myth that has kept me in chains all my life and made me dissaprove of things that in my heart I can't believe are wrong.
I feel so liberated now. Like someone has untied me and set me free to live my own life, but Its also a little scary as if my security blanket had been taken away from me. Its taken me a while to adjust to the fact that i will die, and then I'll be dead. (I realise that sounds a bit mental). I still find myself being dissaproving of something, and then wondering why.
Bottom line, I'm still adjusting, but I'm happier than ever.
For a few months I have undergone a rather radical change in my life.I used have faith in God. The God. The one in the bible. The one with the commandments and the moral code I was supposed to live my life by.
I could never live up to the particular moral code that I was supposed to live my life by of course. Things that I was supposed to find wrong I just couldn't. I couldn't find it in my heart to believe that there is anything wrong with finding your soulmate in a person of the same sex. If its Love then how could it be wrong?
As alot of you know I live with my boyfriend. Last December we got engaged, but before that we lived together in exactly the same way. According to the bible I was sinning. I was having sex with someone whom I wasn't married to. My sex life suffered greatly. I would make excuses so I didn't have to do it, and then when I did, I would feel guilty afterwards. But I couldn't give my boyfriend up, as much as Christians whom I had asked for advice had warned against me partnering myself with a non-christian, it just didn't feel wrong to me. It felt so right.
This God who I belived in was supposed to love me. I have never felt that. I have never felt watched over I have never felt protected.
I went through an amazingly bad time trying to get to grips with all this. But I have come out of feeling amazing. I know for certain sure that the God that I have believed in for my life so far does not exist. He is a myth that has kept me in chains all my life and made me dissaprove of things that in my heart I can't believe are wrong.
I feel so liberated now. Like someone has untied me and set me free to live my own life, but Its also a little scary as if my security blanket had been taken away from me. Its taken me a while to adjust to the fact that i will die, and then I'll be dead. (I realise that sounds a bit mental). I still find myself being dissaproving of something, and then wondering why.
Bottom line, I'm still adjusting, but I'm happier than ever.
Page: