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Some things you will notice in pretty much all movies...
- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to
visit a strip club at least once.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
each other.
- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to
the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the
man lying beside her.
- The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star
detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
- All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone to talk you down.
- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and
you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
- Police departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is
their polar opposite.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large
red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
- If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
- You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your
sweetheart back home.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent
will do.
- If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or
killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist
trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take
out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will
always be the exact fare.
- Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at
night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
instead.
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
family every morning even though their husband and children
never have time to eat it.
- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size
of RFK stadium.
- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
pant.
- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending phone conversations.
- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every
few moments.
- It is always possible to park directly outside the building
you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
from duty.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
have knocked out their predecessors.
- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head,
they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
- No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion,
volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
diving.
- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a
child trapped inside.
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects
you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to
visit a strip club at least once.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
each other.
- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to
the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the
man lying beside her.
- The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star
detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
- All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone to talk you down.
- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and
you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
- Police departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is
their polar opposite.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large
red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
- If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
- You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your
sweetheart back home.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent
will do.
- If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or
killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist
trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take
out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will
always be the exact fare.
- Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at
night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
instead.
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
family every morning even though their husband and children
never have time to eat it.
- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size
of RFK stadium.
- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
pant.
- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending phone conversations.
- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every
few moments.
- It is always possible to park directly outside the building
you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
from duty.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
have knocked out their predecessors.
- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head,
they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
- No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion,
volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
diving.
- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a
child trapped inside.
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects
you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
Page:
What about whenever there is an explosion the main star will always jump, WHAT IS THAT? are we supposed to believe that if he stayed on the floor he'd be incinerated but because he jumped he got a minor graze from a rough landing!?
What about:
When your about to say goodbye to your bird, it will be pouring with rain..... or something.
When your about to say goodbye to your bird, it will be pouring with rain..... or something.
I see someone has their copy of Roger Ebert's Little Book Of Hollywood Cliches near their PC. Not that I would be implying anything. No, never.
i said your second post already.
it also wasnt humour. it was corrections.
and honestly poop. good for you that nursery breaks up soon.
it also wasnt humour. it was corrections.
and honestly poop. good for you that nursery breaks up soon.
Clazon wrote:
> just a few corrections there. :)
>
> no offence of coarse. and obviously non taken if you didnt write it.
The weren't corrections, more like lame remarks in a dire attempt to be humerous.
Poop.
> just a few corrections there. :)
>
> no offence of coarse. and obviously non taken if you didnt write it.
The weren't corrections, more like lame remarks in a dire attempt to be humerous.
Poop.
Here's some:
In any American film any person, good or bad, from England speaks like a 1880's gentleman and likes tea and says "Tally Ho"
All English people also live in front of Ben Big or the Houses of Parliment.
Although the ticking numbers are diaplayed so brightly, they only go down when the camera's pointing directly at it. Otherwise the bomb takes as long as it wants to go off, especially when the hero's not there yet.
No matter how evil the bomb-maker and how set is in on killing a load of people, he kindly uses different coloured wires so someone can defuse it for him.
No enemies know how to aim a gun properly, especially when the hero's coming right at them.
When you're tied up, the evil guy'll always tell you his devilish plot before leaving you alone in a room with a knife on the floor and no guards.
In any American film any person, good or bad, from England speaks like a 1880's gentleman and likes tea and says "Tally Ho"
All English people also live in front of Ben Big or the Houses of Parliment.
Although the ticking numbers are diaplayed so brightly, they only go down when the camera's pointing directly at it. Otherwise the bomb takes as long as it wants to go off, especially when the hero's not there yet.
No matter how evil the bomb-maker and how set is in on killing a load of people, he kindly uses different coloured wires so someone can defuse it for him.
No enemies know how to aim a gun properly, especially when the hero's coming right at them.
When you're tied up, the evil guy'll always tell you his devilish plot before leaving you alone in a room with a knife on the floor and no guards.
just a few corrections there. :)
no offence of coarse. and obviously non taken if you didnt write it.
no offence of coarse. and obviously non taken if you didnt write it.
Kyz22 wrote:
> Some things you will notice in pretty much all movies...
>
> - During all police investigations, it will be necessary to
> visit a strip club at least once.
dman cops. they get to have all the fun. the bad boys/girls are usually in a bad place.
> - When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
> each other.
ever heard of the universal translater. weve got to understand them. sometimes there are subtitles.
> - All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to
> the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the
> man lying beside her.
the thing that has to be done according to parents.
> - All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
its an item that can be seen and many people do like it
> - It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
> someone to talk you down.
this is probably quite possible with in reason
> - The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
> place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and
> you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
not true. the negotiator showed that the first thing the fbi was, was to gun down the ventilation shaft.
>
> - Police departments give their officers personality tests to
> make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is
> their polar opposite.
theyve got to get their kicks somehow.
> - The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
most of the buildings that events occur are big man office buildings so they would generally have a view of the great thing of france.
>
> - All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large
> red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
this is a crock because their timing is always off and this is just one of those.
> - If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
> ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
not true. its always a dramatic scene when the guy runs out of ammo and has to run it
> - You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
> you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your
> sweetheart back home.
or you defy your captain and run out of the trench commando style.
> - Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
> will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent
> will do.
wrong. see- the great escape.
> - A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
> beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
sometimes he gives a bit of a gasped breath
> - When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take
> out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will
> always be the exact fare.
if you take the same taxi every day then yes
> - Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at
> night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
> instead.
thats what i do
> - If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
> strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
excellent
> - Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
> family every morning even though their husband and children
> never have time to eat it.
thats one of those 'mum' things
> - All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
just one of those things. i dont know why.
> - Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
> pant.
a bad one, yes.
> - It is always possible to park directly outside the building
> you are visiting.
a camera shot introduction scene usually.
> - A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
> from duty.
seeing as he gets suspended quickly, he needs more time.
> - It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
> involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you
> one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
> have knocked out their predecessors.
this one is just rediculously true. but there is something to be said abouthonour and the ways.
> - When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head,
> they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
concussions and comas sometimes.
> - You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
what?
> - Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
> seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a
> child trapped inside.
and except the times it has to be kicked down for effect.
> - Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects
> you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
whats the point in showing it if its of no importance.
> Some things you will notice in pretty much all movies...
>
> - During all police investigations, it will be necessary to
> visit a strip club at least once.
dman cops. they get to have all the fun. the bad boys/girls are usually in a bad place.
> - When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
> each other.
ever heard of the universal translater. weve got to understand them. sometimes there are subtitles.
> - All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to
> the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the
> man lying beside her.
the thing that has to be done according to parents.
> - All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
its an item that can be seen and many people do like it
> - It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
> someone to talk you down.
this is probably quite possible with in reason
> - The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
> place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and
> you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
not true. the negotiator showed that the first thing the fbi was, was to gun down the ventilation shaft.
>
> - Police departments give their officers personality tests to
> make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is
> their polar opposite.
theyve got to get their kicks somehow.
> - The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
most of the buildings that events occur are big man office buildings so they would generally have a view of the great thing of france.
>
> - All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large
> red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
this is a crock because their timing is always off and this is just one of those.
> - If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
> ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
not true. its always a dramatic scene when the guy runs out of ammo and has to run it
> - You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
> you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your
> sweetheart back home.
or you defy your captain and run out of the trench commando style.
> - Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
> will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent
> will do.
wrong. see- the great escape.
> - A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
> beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
sometimes he gives a bit of a gasped breath
> - When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take
> out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will
> always be the exact fare.
if you take the same taxi every day then yes
> - Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at
> night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
> instead.
thats what i do
> - If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
> strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
excellent
> - Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
> family every morning even though their husband and children
> never have time to eat it.
thats one of those 'mum' things
> - All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
just one of those things. i dont know why.
> - Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
> pant.
a bad one, yes.
> - It is always possible to park directly outside the building
> you are visiting.
a camera shot introduction scene usually.
> - A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
> from duty.
seeing as he gets suspended quickly, he needs more time.
> - It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
> involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you
> one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
> have knocked out their predecessors.
this one is just rediculously true. but there is something to be said abouthonour and the ways.
> - When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head,
> they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
concussions and comas sometimes.
> - You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
what?
> - Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
> seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a
> child trapped inside.
and except the times it has to be kicked down for effect.
> - Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects
> you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
whats the point in showing it if its of no importance.
It's not written by him...
i liked that so much I saved it in a text file. Maybe you should produce a definitive guide.
Page: