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When I first came on here, I started writing in the form of myself, and as my brain, who always spoke within ()'s.
And after a while I stopped. I'm not sure why, perhaps I became embarrassed, or just felt I was going a bit too crazy.
However, over time, that original talking to brackets has become... stronger. And now, when I get depressed, or dismayed, it takes little more than a chat, through a keyboard, to my brain, for me to think things through and make a true decision.
And living that way helps me pick myself up. It stops me from doing the stupid things I tend to do... it let's me rely on no-one but myself. I can support myself, calm myself down, lift myself up, as long as I actually remember to use it.
It's like talking to my inner confidence. It doesn't just say "Hey, you're great"... it tells me I'm great, then explains why, and then goes on to call me a f**king idiot for not seeing that in the first place. And somehow, that's exactly what I need.
And yes, it's a little embarrassing to talk about it, but it'd be even worse, I think, if I didn't realise that this wasn't just me. I see stuff, not so much anymore, but whenever I do, I can tell it's not real...
(Bit of a fine line though... how do you know what you see is real? How can you be that sure?... Well, unless it's a dog coughing it's guts up, etc.)
For the longest time I've tried to hide it away, but to be honest, whenever I've had my brain to talk to, I've been amazingly happy. So yes, I'd like to introduce you all to Leon Thraves, also known as Grix's Brain. He went away for too long but he's back now.
(I'd say back with a vengence, but that's just cheesy and in fairness, untruthful.)
However. Having conversations with yourself isn't only beneficial for my understanding... but also entertaining for anyone reading. So, whenever there's something bothering me, I think I'll come on here and have a conversation with myself.
(Well, it beats poetry. You know what's really annoying me at the moment? The music industry, in general. It's quite amusing to find so many people trying to fill the airwaves with how pathetic they are.)
They're just... well, young, and trying to cope with their...
(Uncontrollable erections?)
Possibly. But some people are going through the same thing too.
(That's fine, I understand that. But why can't they all realise that... wow! They're young and naive and they'll grow older and care less about people loving them to try and feed their pitiful lack of self-confidence. But of course, we don't know ANYONE who has to try and make others love them because they have little self-confidence. Do we?)
Shut up. I'm quite aware of who I am.
(Not who you are, what you're going through. You'll grow up. Someday.)
Here's hoping.
And after a while I stopped. I'm not sure why, perhaps I became embarrassed, or just felt I was going a bit too crazy.
However, over time, that original talking to brackets has become... stronger. And now, when I get depressed, or dismayed, it takes little more than a chat, through a keyboard, to my brain, for me to think things through and make a true decision.
And living that way helps me pick myself up. It stops me from doing the stupid things I tend to do... it let's me rely on no-one but myself. I can support myself, calm myself down, lift myself up, as long as I actually remember to use it.
It's like talking to my inner confidence. It doesn't just say "Hey, you're great"... it tells me I'm great, then explains why, and then goes on to call me a f**king idiot for not seeing that in the first place. And somehow, that's exactly what I need.
And yes, it's a little embarrassing to talk about it, but it'd be even worse, I think, if I didn't realise that this wasn't just me. I see stuff, not so much anymore, but whenever I do, I can tell it's not real...
(Bit of a fine line though... how do you know what you see is real? How can you be that sure?... Well, unless it's a dog coughing it's guts up, etc.)
For the longest time I've tried to hide it away, but to be honest, whenever I've had my brain to talk to, I've been amazingly happy. So yes, I'd like to introduce you all to Leon Thraves, also known as Grix's Brain. He went away for too long but he's back now.
(I'd say back with a vengence, but that's just cheesy and in fairness, untruthful.)
However. Having conversations with yourself isn't only beneficial for my understanding... but also entertaining for anyone reading. So, whenever there's something bothering me, I think I'll come on here and have a conversation with myself.
(Well, it beats poetry. You know what's really annoying me at the moment? The music industry, in general. It's quite amusing to find so many people trying to fill the airwaves with how pathetic they are.)
They're just... well, young, and trying to cope with their...
(Uncontrollable erections?)
Possibly. But some people are going through the same thing too.
(That's fine, I understand that. But why can't they all realise that... wow! They're young and naive and they'll grow older and care less about people loving them to try and feed their pitiful lack of self-confidence. But of course, we don't know ANYONE who has to try and make others love them because they have little self-confidence. Do we?)
Shut up. I'm quite aware of who I am.
(Not who you are, what you're going through. You'll grow up. Someday.)
Here's hoping.
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I really do need a keyboard to be able to do it. For some reason, putting words down seems to help me think about things, helps me to rationalise, otherwise I can't really think about everything.
I guess the only way I could do it anywhere would actually be talking aloud to myself, and um, well, I don't really feel like doing that.
I think the most important thing to remember is that Leon is me. It's just another side of my mind that's arguing against my initial thoughts to help me to come to a reasonable conclusion. Just because I picture him as a sheep in a blue jacket and glasses means nothing. :0)
I understand what you mean by the speed-reading... I definitely think it's possible...
(You know all the answers to the questions, I suppose. It isn't about finding the answers, it's about finding the questions.)
True... If you can find question after question to ask yourself, then you can build up a bigger picture, um... cover all topics. It's not as if you're a voice in my head telling me to do things.
(Clean your glasses.)
Sure.
I guess the only way I could do it anywhere would actually be talking aloud to myself, and um, well, I don't really feel like doing that.
I think the most important thing to remember is that Leon is me. It's just another side of my mind that's arguing against my initial thoughts to help me to come to a reasonable conclusion. Just because I picture him as a sheep in a blue jacket and glasses means nothing. :0)
I understand what you mean by the speed-reading... I definitely think it's possible...
(You know all the answers to the questions, I suppose. It isn't about finding the answers, it's about finding the questions.)
True... If you can find question after question to ask yourself, then you can build up a bigger picture, um... cover all topics. It's not as if you're a voice in my head telling me to do things.
(Clean your glasses.)
Sure.
On a slightly related topic, do you tend to think to yourself via an inner monologue?
I sort of do, but I've been trying to break out of it. If you try to be conscious of what you're thinking (and by 'you' I mean 'I' :^) ), you can typically know exactly what you're thinking about before it runs through your inner monolgue thing.
I think it's a bit like speed-reading, normal reading is a bit like reading aloud, but inside your head, in that you go over each word.
Then speed reading kind of skims through everything, picking out the jist of what it says without the kind of middle stage.
Speed reading you (still 'I') never take anything in as well though. Maybe it's the same when just thinking - you don't think it through as precisely, but you (hopefully) get the jist.
Thoughts?
I'm trying to curb the talking to myself, at least out loud. I'm finding it's getting a little.. concerning now too :^S
I sort of do, but I've been trying to break out of it. If you try to be conscious of what you're thinking (and by 'you' I mean 'I' :^) ), you can typically know exactly what you're thinking about before it runs through your inner monolgue thing.
I think it's a bit like speed-reading, normal reading is a bit like reading aloud, but inside your head, in that you go over each word.
Then speed reading kind of skims through everything, picking out the jist of what it says without the kind of middle stage.
Speed reading you (still 'I') never take anything in as well though. Maybe it's the same when just thinking - you don't think it through as precisely, but you (hopefully) get the jist.
Thoughts?
I'm trying to curb the talking to myself, at least out loud. I'm finding it's getting a little.. concerning now too :^S
I talk to myself quite a bit. Most of the time its just in my mind (not out loud)
Its usually me trying to rationalise bad/evil thoughts in my mind. Of late, i've had thoughts of kicking the crap out of random people that i see. Its getting really strange. The thoughts only stay in my mind for a few moments before i tell myself its wrong. Its like there is two people in my head. I usually just end up swearing at this "other person" in my head.
I blame champ manager.
Its usually me trying to rationalise bad/evil thoughts in my mind. Of late, i've had thoughts of kicking the crap out of random people that i see. Its getting really strange. The thoughts only stay in my mind for a few moments before i tell myself its wrong. Its like there is two people in my head. I usually just end up swearing at this "other person" in my head.
I blame champ manager.
They say talking to yourself is perfectly natural. When I say 'they', I don't know who I mean. Just, them.
They say it's something to do with being imaginative and creative.
Who knows though.
I try to agree with it, I talk to myself all the time. Have imaginary conversations with nobody and imagine they're real people. Now I really think they're real people.
Never used to understand the 'quote'(?)..
"If you make yourself believe you can do something, you can.."
I don't even know if I made that up. Because I trick myself into believing something that's not true.
Anyway, that quote, obviously there's a lot of meanings behind it. It could be anything, like, "I can do this. I will not fail.." etc etc.
But, what I mean, is. If you start to create this fictional being in your mind and you get really creative, you actually start to believe they're real. Which is annoying.
In some way, I think that relates to that 'quote' thingy.
Anyhoo. I don't have any idea what I mean by any of that.
Like someone said somewhere. It's late and my mind is playing tricks and thinking weird stuff. So.
Goodnight.
They say it's something to do with being imaginative and creative.
Who knows though.
I try to agree with it, I talk to myself all the time. Have imaginary conversations with nobody and imagine they're real people. Now I really think they're real people.
Never used to understand the 'quote'(?)..
"If you make yourself believe you can do something, you can.."
I don't even know if I made that up. Because I trick myself into believing something that's not true.
Anyway, that quote, obviously there's a lot of meanings behind it. It could be anything, like, "I can do this. I will not fail.." etc etc.
But, what I mean, is. If you start to create this fictional being in your mind and you get really creative, you actually start to believe they're real. Which is annoying.
In some way, I think that relates to that 'quote' thingy.
Anyhoo. I don't have any idea what I mean by any of that.
Like someone said somewhere. It's late and my mind is playing tricks and thinking weird stuff. So.
Goodnight.
Nice to see you again Leon!
(No it isn't, we don't get on)
Ignore him, I do.
(... )
(No it isn't, we don't get on)
Ignore him, I do.
(... )
WI WI WI WI!
REDRUM
No... that'll never happen.
(Darren... Darren...)
Mother?
(Have you tidied your room?)
No mother.
(You're a naughty boy Darren... but it's not your fault... you can't help being the way you are...)
I know mother.
(It's those 'friends' of yours... they hurt you... they hurt your feelings... they don't let you be the racecar in Monopoly...)
No mother...
(You should hurt them, Darren... you should teach them not to hurt you...)
Yes mother.
(Darren... Darren...)
Mother?
(Have you tidied your room?)
No mother.
(You're a naughty boy Darren... but it's not your fault... you can't help being the way you are...)
I know mother.
(It's those 'friends' of yours... they hurt you... they hurt your feelings... they don't let you be the racecar in Monopoly...)
No mother...
(You should hurt them, Darren... you should teach them not to hurt you...)
Yes mother.
Sure, it starts as an outlet. Then it will begin to take over your mind.
*Eye begins to twitch*
*Eye begins to twitch*
It's more like an outlet than a way of life, and as long as it's like that, well, that's ok by me.
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