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"Bathroom Time"

Bathroom time is one of the strictest and most brutal regimes in the Western world. Most of your working day revolves around the time you get in the bathroom. Miss that time and you risk being late for breakfast, which in turn leads to being late for work and getting into all manner of troubles. The worst is when you live with other people and your bathroom times clash. The amount of time you spend in the bathroom in the morning also tells a lot about you. Spending 1-10 minutes shows that you're decisive and motivated. 10-20 minutes shows that you like a rigorous clean. And 30 minutes plus is just OCD. Or you've had a big curry the night before and are making chocolate babies.

The reason I bring this up is because I missed by bathroom time this morning, which resulted in me missing the train for Uni and missing yet another day out of my boring Uni schedule. Part my fault, part the fault of my retarded family who practically live in the bathroom together like some kind of inbred Hick infestation. I usually get up at 6am on Tuesdays and Fridays - my lectures are at 9am and the train is at 7:35. I get my breakfast and make the bathroom by 6:15. now I know it sounds petty, but there was someone in there. So I sat down again and waited patiently, but 6:30 is my brother's time and he gets angry if he misses his slot.

So by now it's nearly 6:45 and I have to leave at 7 if I want to make my train. But my brother is still in the shower. Still there at 6:55, getting desperate now. He finally comes out around 7, but now it's my Mum's turn to get in there. Remember, these are both people that live by their daily routines. Any upset in that routine could lead to months of therapy at some sort of institute for looneys. And this all leaves me well and truly stuffed. Reasoning with them is no good - they were using the bathroom long before you, therefore they have more rights and priviliges.

And there we have it. My whole day ruined because I made the simple mistake of missing my bathroom slot. The only winner is my Dad, who goes in the bathroom at 5 in the morning, then he's already left for work before our alarms even go off and misses all the fun of BATHROOM TIME!!!

The independant woman thing is quite excellent, but nothing can beat a song that includes the line " I love to please my giant bee by rubbing cheese into his knees".

Nah, its tied between Buffys swearing keyboard and the Nothern cats performing 'Independant Woman'

Clearly the Giant Bee song is the best thing Joel's ever done.

heh rather good .com :D I love those things :D, watch the cats singing... :D

monkey_man wrote:
> I get to miss another lecture and have to do Astronomy coursework.

"We Like the Moon!
Because it is close to us.
We Like the Moooooon!
But not as much as a spoon.
'cos thats more use for eating soup..."

etc etc.

So who was in the bathroom if your dad had already left for work, and your brother didnt get until 630 and your mum at 7?

I have free-reign on my coursework. Might just be about sending monkeys into space.

monkey_man wrote:
> I have to do Astronomy coursework.
---

"This is the moon. It is big and far, far away. If you go into space, you need a snorkel and moon-boots otherwise you are pushed into the space by gravity.
Gravity is not the stuff you put on chicken and stuffing, it is heavy. Heavy like metal, but not the heavy metal that you play on a guitar.
That is neither heavy in mass, nor made from metal.
Many famous people have gone into space, but also so have dogs and monkeys.
Some people think ants live in the moon, but that is silly.
There are other planets like Jupiter and Mars, but we haven't gone to those because they are not near us like the moon and Stoke."

There you go mate, dont forget to credit me

I thought i had to get up early. 6am is a killer.

I get to miss another lecture and have to do Astronomy coursework.