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"I'm off to Thailand next week"

I'm going to Koh Sumai in time for the Thai new year, then it's on to the full moon party on the neighbouring island and then down Patong, Crabbi and Pi Pi islands to do some snorkelling and locals girls. Three weeks of bliss I hope...

Man I'm going to be skint when I get back.

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> When he came back he had a load of
> blood tests and the girl he stayed with emailed him saying she was
> pregnant and needed money.

They try that one a lot, so I've heard. Most girls in bars/clubs have state sponsored/enforced tests to ensure that they are "clean". Me I'm going for the diving and the FMP.

> He also came back with a beard.

His own beard or someone elses?

"He also came back with a beard"
They're pretty cheap over there, although you do pay more for local indigenous types.

Remember when in foreign countries, conduct yourself in the manner that befits all Englishmen abroad.
Be courteous and receptive to courtesy, you had established the embarassing truth about what Miggs said to you yet your clumsy segueway into the...

Damn, possessed by the spirit of Thomas Harris for a moment.
*bangs head on desk and waves garlic about*

I cast thee out!

My mate went to Thailand in August. When he came back he had a load of blood tests and the girl he stayed with emailed him saying she was pregnant and needed money. He also came back with a beard.

The moral is, be careful.

Goatboy wrote:

> You must do this.
> And wear a cream safari-suit, get one of your mates in a tuk-tuk
> behind you with a turban and a massive, Gangs of New York style comedy
> moustache/beard combo and he can scream invective and throw cobras at
> you

If I could get a cheap camcorder over there and set this up...I'd have to practise the "eye brow shrug of nonchalance when a King Cobra lands on my lap then rears to strike" move to perfection.

I like the use of the word "invective" too, I'll try to use it in my next diatribe at someone.

The sagacious one wrote:
> "Driver I'll pay you 1000 baht if you can ram the other tuk-tuk
> off the road. I think he may be sleeping with your wife too".
--

You must do this.
And wear a cream safari-suit, get one of your mates in a tuk-tuk behind you with a turban and a massive, Gangs of New York style comedy moustache/beard combo and he can scream invective and throw cobras at you

monkey_man wrote:
> Ladyboys galore! Look out for Gary Glitter though, he might try and
> do you up himself.

Is that in the pejorative sense or the cockney rhyming?

Goatboy wrote:
> Try and re-enact the tuk-tuk chase from Octopussy.

Ah, my mates have told me about the tuk-tuks. In fact there are 007* of us going so we'll need 2 tuk-tuks anyway.

"Driver I'll pay you 1000 baht if you can ram the other tuk-tuk off the road. I think he may be sleeping with your wife too".

"Wahhh!!"

* This is fact and not mere fiction; in an attempt to mold the response to fit the theme of Bond. The theme of Bond goes "danna la langa da da danna la langa da dana dan na na na". So please do not write to the Radio Times and try and get my into trouble I only come to this forum as I am unable to spell the word pron.

Thanks

Ladyboys galore! Look out for Gary Glitter though, he might try and do you up himself.

Try and re-enact the tuk-tuk chase from Octopussy.

A lovely aural/visual description there.
Just make sure you wear sunglasses, because I hear they can fire those muthas out pretty fast, and you don't want to get hit in the eye by a speeding ping pong ball. Actually...