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"Baptism (part 1)"

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Wed 19/03/03 at 08:55
Regular
Posts: 787
Thought I'd give this story writing lark a go, so here's a little piece I did yesterday when I should have been revising. I haven't read it through, so sorry for any typos etc. Anyway, here it is:



The sky was beautiful. Alex couldn’t see the sun anymore, it had dropped below the skyline, but he could tell it was still there. He looked straight up, the sky was dark blue, as he lowered his head back to the level, the colours muted and changed, through to a soft pink, and then a fiery orange before the buildings obscured his view.

Sighing, Alex continued has walk to the meeting. It was to be his first one, but that didn’t matter, said his friend. The group was new and still small, she had said, you’ll fit in fine, stop worrying! She had said. He looked at his watch, and carried on walking as a car rumbled by next to him.

- - - - - -

Inside, the rectangular room was brightly lit, different from what he expected. He relaxed after seeing it wasn’t some sort of stereotyped secret cult meeting place. It looked like a village hall, although a little sparse when it came to the furniture. A few rows of chairs all faced the front, where there was a table with some jugs of water and plastic cups on.

Alex was annoyed that his friend was not there yet. She had promised that she would be there on time as it was his first night. He walked to the front, returning a smile to some people on the way, and helped himself to a cup of water, as he had seen others do.

As he turned, his friend walked in, he smiled a hello as she walked over to him. He zigzagged between the chairs on the way over to her. Just as he got there the room hushed. Alex turned to the front to see a man take his place by the table. He was a younger man than Alex had expected, in his mid-thirties perhaps.

Dressed in a relaxed shirt and jeans, the man poured himself a cup of water, and then looked up at the group. That was when Alex first caught sight of his eyes. A shiver went up Alex’s spine as the man smiled a polite smile at him. The man looked at Alex a little longer, his face changing from a polite smile to a puzzled frown.

Alex looked down as he felt a tug on his sleeve, his friend pulled him down onto a seat. They both looked to the front as the man began to speak.

“I’m here to tear down everything around you. And you know what I’m going to replace it with? Something new.

“God. The world of God.

“So take your bread, and give it to the poor. What difference does it matter what you own? You have money and possessions; it’s going to rot. And that rot is going to eat away your heart. All of you!"

The mans voice began to rise passion, and in volume. He really belived in every word he was saying, and wanted his audience to believe too.

“There will be a flood, and there will be a fire. Everything will be destroyed! But there will be a new ark, riding on that fire and I hold the key, and I open the door and I decide who goes in, and who doesn’t!”

His voice was now practically a shout.

“Come with me!”

Alex looked to his friend, whose eyes had glazed over as she had been listening. Her face appeared enraptured, as if this man was somehow caressing her soul with the words he was saying.

He looked around, the others in the room, perhaps twenty or so of them, all had the same look on their faces. Alex knew his face held a different look, one of terror. He didn’t know what was going on, and he didn’t want to find out. He vowed never to come to another meeting again...
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:51
Regular
"Brownium Motion"
Posts: 4,100
I remember hearing that a while ago. I've still got it kicking around somewhere...
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:49
Regular
Posts: 14,117
Damn right :-)

Can't remember the exact name of the remix I've got, I think it's Tyrone's something mix. Or something.
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:47
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
The Prophet is an absolute class tune =)
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:45
Regular
Posts: 14,117
Yes, I was :-)

It's what gave me the idea. The words of the speech should seem very familiar to you...
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:38
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
You weren't listening to CJ Bolland when you were writing this, were you?

Good stuff though.
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:03
Regular
Posts: 23,216
I'll keep trying to read, sure.
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:03
Regular
"Brownium Motion"
Posts: 4,100
Well...I read it! i don't suppose that qualifies it as being read by the masses though.

Just keep on developing the story and re-post part 1 after you've posted part 2 in case anyone's forgotten.

I'm writing a short story at the moment but I can't seem to finish it - too many random topics I want to incorporate floating around in my head.
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:00
Regular
Posts: 14,117
There will be more, if I can think of where to go next, and if you lot will read it.

There's no point in writing something everyone will ignore...
Wed 19/03/03 at 09:11
Regular
"Brownium Motion"
Posts: 4,100
I only just noticed the Part 1 bit. Apologies.
Wed 19/03/03 at 09:10
Regular
"Brownium Motion"
Posts: 4,100
Sounded like a one-off... but it's a shame Alex didn't snarl like an enrage animal and start wrecking the place while proclaiming religion as false...

Still good, though.

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