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"Sometimes I Feel Like An Insane Fool"

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Mon 03/03/03 at 19:02
Regular
Posts: 787
I'm worried about my future.

I'm scared about what is going to happen to me in my later years.

Will I be rich?

Will I be famous?

Will I have a big house and sexy lady's surrounding me offering me drinks?

Or will I own a cardboard box where I am forced to try and make fire by rubbing my fingers together?

Will I be alone?

Will I have kids?

But most importantly, will sing to myself in the street?

Yes I do it, I sing to myself in the Street when I am alone and I admit it. I don't know why this is, I don't know what makes me do it, but whenever I am not walking side by side with someone I sing to myself. I feel like one of those crazy insane fools you see walking down the road chatting to themselves about nothing. The people me and my mates use to look at and laugh at because they were totally mental.

I look back on how they use to be and realise that it only happens because they are lonely. But then I think of myself singing quietly whenever I can and louder whenever I can.

Infact, it's got alot worse. I walk home after Sixth Form alot by myself and I try to sing every song which comes into my head or as many as I can before I reach home. I use to go much more silent when someone would near but now I think they actually hear me as I keep on singing.

I'm afraid that this could develop.

As could another thing I have had a habit of doing lately, shaking. Much like Micheal Jackson was doing when he had a baby on his knee, I shake my leg alot. It use to be sometimes but now it has turned into something which my Mum calls me a 'Spaz' for. Then she shakes herself and tells me one day I'll be walking down the street with my legs wobbling like a spasticated Duck (well that last bit I added on). Try it yourself, it looks funny. They tell me to stop everytime I do it, but I can't help it.

When I sit here I don't shake my leg, but when I'm sitting at the table for Dinner I ALWAYS do it. I actually think I’m having an influence on my little Sister as she is doing it alot more now too.

It's strange, but that’s how habits work. Maybe I should start to try and stop myself from doing it. Just tell myself to stop.

Another habit I have is being lazy in one mind but being ambitious in the other. It's weird but I'm sure many of us get that one. Something we have to overcome much like other things we don't want to be doing when we're older.
Tue 04/03/03 at 23:23
Regular
"I'm Great."
Posts: 2,917
People say that I've lost it. I don't really care though. I think I just show what other people suppress. There are some people that show it and others that don't. It might have something to do with the whole like ummmm... society thing. I just say do it. Who cares. Just go for it.
Tue 04/03/03 at 22:54
"Uzi Lover"
Posts: 7,403
There use to be this guy who use to be down Asda every lunchtime. He nicknamed him Beadle for some reason.

Was always yapping on about his days as a kid and had some good quotes which he'd always say.

Turned out he was famous in Southend as I found a article on him along with a picture. I was amazed at the same time as laughing my head off.

Asda is full of weirdo's and I'm surprised by how many people actually go there everyday, at the same time everyday, without fail. There's this guy who walks funny and talks to himself as does a man who brings us our Pizza after we've ordered. A bit like "I'll just get this Pizza here", "I'll open this door here". Commentates on what he's doing and mumbling.
Tue 04/03/03 at 20:13
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
It's worrying how insane other people can be sometimes.
Especially when you're insane.
Tue 04/03/03 at 18:58
Regular
"allardini's tagline"
Posts: 3,396
I sing to myself all the time. It's fun.
Tue 04/03/03 at 18:37
Regular
"Cardboard Tube Ninj"
Posts: 2,221
Just go insane, I did. It makes things much easier as you no longer have to bother with the whole "semblance of normality" thing
Mon 03/03/03 at 22:27
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
Oh and my right leg/knee bit shakes when im cold or a bit nervous
Mon 03/03/03 at 22:26
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
I sing when I walk home from school... I usuallly have afternoon off so the path is empty and I sing quitely to my headphones... its fun.

One day a woman with a dog passed me and looked a bit scared... screw her and her stupid dog
Mon 03/03/03 at 21:42
Regular
"Selected"
Posts: 4,199
ooooh my god its DIIIIIIIP
Mon 03/03/03 at 19:31
Regular
"twothousandandtits"
Posts: 11,024
Cool, I'll have to try it.

Someone said it made them nervous the other day. Turned out their Mum always did it when she was angry, so it was a kind of reaction when a leg shook to be afraid.
Mon 03/03/03 at 19:29
Regular
"aka memo aaka gayby"
Posts: 11,948
I do the leg shake thing too. Yes, I do.

I'm actually doing it right now, I think your post triggered it, I'll be doing it all bloody night now!!

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