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I've been bottling things up more and more recently. I've not let myself think about the bad things happening in the world, to other people and to me. As soon as a thought like that enters my mind I physically slap myself and think about something else. But today it's just all imploded.
I'm sick and tired of repressing everything that bothers me, everything that scares me and everything that chides me. I need someone to confide in, to listen to me and to tell me it'll all be alright in the end. I need someone to hug me, to silence the screams inside me. But I can't find anyone.
I need to let this out. I need to get out of me what's eating away at me. I need to write. I need to. But I can't. Everytime I try everything just regresses further into me. I can't put into words what I'm feeling. I can't express myself. And that makes me frustrated. That makes me angry. And it’s got to the point where I’m so frustrated that I just want to cry. I want to let it all out through my eyes (Never mind, it’s only me that cries). F### pride, nobility and all the other pseudo-emotions that I force on myself, I need to let me get out. In any form. Spoken, sung, written, drawn. I don’t care what medium. But I need to get out and I can’t. And that is the most frustrating, depressing, saddening and heart-wrenching thing that I have ever experienced. I’m alienated by myself. I’m wrestling with myself alone because I can’t describe what I’m feeling. And it’s continuing to chafe and chew away at me. It’s destroying me from the inside. I need someone to talk to. But I can’t find anyone to listen. I need someone to hug me. But I can’t find anyone who’ll reach out their arms to me. I'm crying out. But no one understands me... because I can't explain myself. It's just a vicious cycle.
And I’m scared. So f###ing scared.
And I’m crying.
I'm sick and tired of repressing everything that bothers me, everything that scares me and everything that chides me. I need someone to confide in, to listen to me and to tell me it'll all be alright in the end. I need someone to hug me, to silence the screams inside me. But I can't find anyone.
I need to let this out. I need to get out of me what's eating away at me. I need to write. I need to. But I can't. Everytime I try everything just regresses further into me. I can't put into words what I'm feeling. I can't express myself. And that makes me frustrated. That makes me angry. And it’s got to the point where I’m so frustrated that I just want to cry. I want to let it all out through my eyes (Never mind, it’s only me that cries). F### pride, nobility and all the other pseudo-emotions that I force on myself, I need to let me get out. In any form. Spoken, sung, written, drawn. I don’t care what medium. But I need to get out and I can’t. And that is the most frustrating, depressing, saddening and heart-wrenching thing that I have ever experienced. I’m alienated by myself. I’m wrestling with myself alone because I can’t describe what I’m feeling. And it’s continuing to chafe and chew away at me. It’s destroying me from the inside. I need someone to talk to. But I can’t find anyone to listen. I need someone to hug me. But I can’t find anyone who’ll reach out their arms to me. I'm crying out. But no one understands me... because I can't explain myself. It's just a vicious cycle.
And I’m scared. So f###ing scared.
And I’m crying.
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I've been bottling things up more and more recently. I've not let myself think about the bad things happening in the world, to other people and to me. As soon as a thought like that enters my mind I physically slap myself and think about something else. But today it's just all imploded.
I'm sick and tired of repressing everything that bothers me, everything that scares me and everything that chides me. I need someone to confide in, to listen to me and to tell me it'll all be alright in the end. I need someone to hug me, to silence the screams inside me. But I can't find anyone.
I need to let this out. I need to get out of me what's eating away at me. I need to write. I need to. But I can't. Everytime I try everything just regresses further into me. I can't put into words what I'm feeling. I can't express myself. And that makes me frustrated. That makes me angry. And it’s got to the point where I’m so frustrated that I just want to cry. I want to let it all out through my eyes (Never mind, it’s only me that cries). F### pride, nobility and all the other pseudo-emotions that I force on myself, I need to let me get out. In any form. Spoken, sung, written, drawn. I don’t care what medium. But I need to get out and I can’t. And that is the most frustrating, depressing, saddening and heart-wrenching thing that I have ever experienced. I’m alienated by myself. I’m wrestling with myself alone because I can’t describe what I’m feeling. And it’s continuing to chafe and chew away at me. It’s destroying me from the inside. I need someone to talk to. But I can’t find anyone to listen. I need someone to hug me. But I can’t find anyone who’ll reach out their arms to me. I'm crying out. But no one understands me... because I can't explain myself. It's just a vicious cycle.
And I’m scared. So f###ing scared.
And I’m crying.
I'm sick and tired of repressing everything that bothers me, everything that scares me and everything that chides me. I need someone to confide in, to listen to me and to tell me it'll all be alright in the end. I need someone to hug me, to silence the screams inside me. But I can't find anyone.
I need to let this out. I need to get out of me what's eating away at me. I need to write. I need to. But I can't. Everytime I try everything just regresses further into me. I can't put into words what I'm feeling. I can't express myself. And that makes me frustrated. That makes me angry. And it’s got to the point where I’m so frustrated that I just want to cry. I want to let it all out through my eyes (Never mind, it’s only me that cries). F### pride, nobility and all the other pseudo-emotions that I force on myself, I need to let me get out. In any form. Spoken, sung, written, drawn. I don’t care what medium. But I need to get out and I can’t. And that is the most frustrating, depressing, saddening and heart-wrenching thing that I have ever experienced. I’m alienated by myself. I’m wrestling with myself alone because I can’t describe what I’m feeling. And it’s continuing to chafe and chew away at me. It’s destroying me from the inside. I need someone to talk to. But I can’t find anyone to listen. I need someone to hug me. But I can’t find anyone who’ll reach out their arms to me. I'm crying out. But no one understands me... because I can't explain myself. It's just a vicious cycle.
And I’m scared. So f###ing scared.
And I’m crying.
Stop trying, and just let yourself breath. Creativity will gather.
If it's something more serious, let it out. Seriously, set fire to the world without regret.
If it's something more serious, let it out. Seriously, set fire to the world without regret.
We're always here.
And well, practise makes perfect. You'll never realise anything if you don't think, and you'll certainly never tell us how you feel if you don't even try. :0)
The thing is, none of us can express ourselves perfectly, but we try. We really do.
And we're getting better, and we're getting wiser, but only because we're all here to encourage each other on. Don't try and fight alone man, you don't deserve the pressure.
And well, practise makes perfect. You'll never realise anything if you don't think, and you'll certainly never tell us how you feel if you don't even try. :0)
The thing is, none of us can express ourselves perfectly, but we try. We really do.
And we're getting better, and we're getting wiser, but only because we're all here to encourage each other on. Don't try and fight alone man, you don't deserve the pressure.
Don't feel bad. We all got things inside us that we feel but just can't express. You may not even be able to find the words for them in your mind but they're there and will be worked out in their own time. Just say or do what you can and don't beat you're self up about it.
Need someone to talk to or someone just to be around while you go on about things then just let me know.
Not only are some of us around here who would be more than happy to be there but there are some who appreciate having friends around.
Oh and I have some great new Counting crows stuff that I would be happy to send you.
E-mail me next time you are on dude.
Bout time we had a talk.
Not only are some of us around here who would be more than happy to be there but there are some who appreciate having friends around.
Oh and I have some great new Counting crows stuff that I would be happy to send you.
E-mail me next time you are on dude.
Bout time we had a talk.
I deeply identify with your post.
I'm good at listening Chris (apparently), talk to me whenever...we're both around the same sort of age, maybe I can help.
Recently I haven't been able to explain myself either...I try to write things, get a paragraph or so done and then delete it all. Maybe you should try singing, I sing sometimes, even if my family and friends do hate it. {:)
But anyway, use this place and the people you've met here to your advantage, because I know I have, and it helps. There are very few people in life that you can open yourself fully to, so maybe here is the place to do it.
Recently I haven't been able to explain myself either...I try to write things, get a paragraph or so done and then delete it all. Maybe you should try singing, I sing sometimes, even if my family and friends do hate it. {:)
But anyway, use this place and the people you've met here to your advantage, because I know I have, and it helps. There are very few people in life that you can open yourself fully to, so maybe here is the place to do it.
I think you just have to realize that you're probably better at puttingf into words that a lot of people. I mean, if you're using the things you read on this forum as a benchmark, of course you're going to come up short. The people here are amazing, and, more importantly, they're older.
It gets eaisier as you get older. Less confusing. Trust me.
It gets eaisier as you get older. Less confusing. Trust me.
*Rubs Chris*
It'll be ok.
It'll be ok.
You know what I do when I feel like that? I work out.
*tries to fit through door, but arms are too big*
Hmm... maybe I should find a different method...
Seriously though, I often feel conflicted, with no outlet. Sometimes I try to draw, sometimes I write, sometimes I watch a film, or play a game. Sometimes I go and get drunk. But the best thing I find is to hit stuff. Got rather painful, what with all the brick walls in my house, so I got a punch bag which I lay into almost every day. May not work for what you're feeling, but for anger management, it's great.
*whistles Eye Of The Tiger*
*tries to fit through door, but arms are too big*
Hmm... maybe I should find a different method...
Seriously though, I often feel conflicted, with no outlet. Sometimes I try to draw, sometimes I write, sometimes I watch a film, or play a game. Sometimes I go and get drunk. But the best thing I find is to hit stuff. Got rather painful, what with all the brick walls in my house, so I got a punch bag which I lay into almost every day. May not work for what you're feeling, but for anger management, it's great.
*whistles Eye Of The Tiger*
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