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Did you know you can tell a lot about a poster by the way they start their posts?
Posts beginning with:
"Right..."
This is a good indication that the poster is annoyed. They are on a mission to set things straight, to get their message across, to make the world see things from their point of view, whether the world wants to or not. Regardless, posts starting with "Right..." usually contain drivel. This type of poster has a baseball bat with teeth indentations mounted above the fireplace in their home.
"Wot..."
The poster hasn't got a clue how to spell. They have no idea about anything in much of fact, which is why they are asking a question in the first place. Also a good indication that they own a mobile phone and spend alot of time txting. You sometimes wonder how they managed to operate a computer in the first place, but common sense dictates that someone actually turned the machine on for them, navigated to the correct place, then got up to make a cup of tea whilst the "Wot..." poster took their place.
"I..."
The classic "Look at me!" post, you know that you are going to find out more about the person writing it, despite this knowledge being essentially worthless, like finding out they've just bought a game and are rubbing your nose in it because your wages haven't cleared yet. "I..." posters, rightly or more often wrongly, have a high opinion of themselves, and try to make sure that you know about it. Interestingly, they come from all walks of life, and are often television presenters.
"When..?"
If phrased as a question, "When..?" posts are a classic example of someone still finding their feet in cyberspace. They've yet to work out that there's more than one site out there other than ukchatforums.com, and that some of these sites include search engines and handy things like that where they can discover the answer to their question. Unless of course they follow the first word with "...is the Dolphin getting released?", in which case you can classify them as a "Wot..." poster. (See above).
"If..."
a) The philospher. Posts starting with "If..." are generally interesting, make you think, and usually impart a great deal of information regarding the way the poster's mind works. Always worth a read.
b) The poet. Try to avoid these at all costs. Unfortunately they try to catch you out by having an innocent looking thread title and then ambush you with prose when look inside. It's basically an underhand way of getting people to read work which would otherwise never get into the public domain. It's also the reason why scientists are now working on forum swear filters that can block poetry as well as obscenity.
"In the beginning..."
AKA a 'spoof thread' unless someone is actually copying and pasting the entire Bible. "In the beginning..." posts are generally written by someone putting a point across in a humourous way. Despite this, they're usually about as funny and original as Moses dropping a stone tablet on his foot. Sometimes worth a read nonetheless. If you're bored. Very bored.
"Everyone please read..."
A sure sign that this is going to be the worst post you've read today. By quite a long margin. It's not about the fact that a 4 minute warning has just been announced and that we're all about to be nuked, it's about wanting to be accepted as part of the perceived larger social group. Which is why they're so often written by newcomers. They found the contents interesting, and they want to make sure that this is OK by getting you to read it and find it interesting as well, despite it being something that you read in your e-mail 5 years ago.
"Lets all..."
Substitue: "Hi, I need 300 posts, 10000 words and I've only got 21 days to do it in before I'm a Regular so lets all type stuff in here so that I can reply to it." The "Lets all..." thread is usually started by one of two types of psyche:
a) The newbie who just 'clicked'
b) The n00b who just got banned and knows the ropes.
Either way, avoid these like the plague. The person behind them is desperate to fit in, and will go to any lengths to do so, even if it means starting an obnoxious chain thread despite there being one already on the same page.
"Did you know..?"
The pseudo-intellectual. Always be wary of "Did you know..?" posts. Sometimes they're good, but quite often they're telling you things that you either already knew or could have worked out for yourself, so in general they're just written out of sheer boredom in an attempt at recreational writing.
Posts beginning with:
"Right..."
This is a good indication that the poster is annoyed. They are on a mission to set things straight, to get their message across, to make the world see things from their point of view, whether the world wants to or not. Regardless, posts starting with "Right..." usually contain drivel. This type of poster has a baseball bat with teeth indentations mounted above the fireplace in their home.
"Wot..."
The poster hasn't got a clue how to spell. They have no idea about anything in much of fact, which is why they are asking a question in the first place. Also a good indication that they own a mobile phone and spend alot of time txting. You sometimes wonder how they managed to operate a computer in the first place, but common sense dictates that someone actually turned the machine on for them, navigated to the correct place, then got up to make a cup of tea whilst the "Wot..." poster took their place.
"I..."
The classic "Look at me!" post, you know that you are going to find out more about the person writing it, despite this knowledge being essentially worthless, like finding out they've just bought a game and are rubbing your nose in it because your wages haven't cleared yet. "I..." posters, rightly or more often wrongly, have a high opinion of themselves, and try to make sure that you know about it. Interestingly, they come from all walks of life, and are often television presenters.
"When..?"
If phrased as a question, "When..?" posts are a classic example of someone still finding their feet in cyberspace. They've yet to work out that there's more than one site out there other than ukchatforums.com, and that some of these sites include search engines and handy things like that where they can discover the answer to their question. Unless of course they follow the first word with "...is the Dolphin getting released?", in which case you can classify them as a "Wot..." poster. (See above).
"If..."
a) The philospher. Posts starting with "If..." are generally interesting, make you think, and usually impart a great deal of information regarding the way the poster's mind works. Always worth a read.
b) The poet. Try to avoid these at all costs. Unfortunately they try to catch you out by having an innocent looking thread title and then ambush you with prose when look inside. It's basically an underhand way of getting people to read work which would otherwise never get into the public domain. It's also the reason why scientists are now working on forum swear filters that can block poetry as well as obscenity.
"In the beginning..."
AKA a 'spoof thread' unless someone is actually copying and pasting the entire Bible. "In the beginning..." posts are generally written by someone putting a point across in a humourous way. Despite this, they're usually about as funny and original as Moses dropping a stone tablet on his foot. Sometimes worth a read nonetheless. If you're bored. Very bored.
"Everyone please read..."
A sure sign that this is going to be the worst post you've read today. By quite a long margin. It's not about the fact that a 4 minute warning has just been announced and that we're all about to be nuked, it's about wanting to be accepted as part of the perceived larger social group. Which is why they're so often written by newcomers. They found the contents interesting, and they want to make sure that this is OK by getting you to read it and find it interesting as well, despite it being something that you read in your e-mail 5 years ago.
"Lets all..."
Substitue: "Hi, I need 300 posts, 10000 words and I've only got 21 days to do it in before I'm a Regular so lets all type stuff in here so that I can reply to it." The "Lets all..." thread is usually started by one of two types of psyche:
a) The newbie who just 'clicked'
b) The n00b who just got banned and knows the ropes.
Either way, avoid these like the plague. The person behind them is desperate to fit in, and will go to any lengths to do so, even if it means starting an obnoxious chain thread despite there being one already on the same page.
"Did you know..?"
The pseudo-intellectual. Always be wary of "Did you know..?" posts. Sometimes they're good, but quite often they're telling you things that you either already knew or could have worked out for yourself, so in general they're just written out of sheer boredom in an attempt at recreational writing.
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Now, it's been 40 minutes since I opened this before replying, as the last post was Memo's Isn't it obvious one, and I was replying, Of Course to that. Hmmm.
Of course
BEARDS. wrote:
> No.
I thought so too.
> No.
I thought so too.
No.
BEARDS. wrote:
> maddmun wrote:
> Ants (The bug, not the forumer) only fall over on their left hand
> side.
>
> Two things:
>
> A) How do you know that?
>
> and
>
> B) Why the hell is it true?
Isn't it obvious???
> maddmun wrote:
> Ants (The bug, not the forumer) only fall over on their left hand
> side.
>
> Two things:
>
> A) How do you know that?
>
> and
>
> B) Why the hell is it true?
Isn't it obvious???
maddmun wrote:
> Ants (The bug, not the forumer) only fall over on their left hand
> side.
Two things:
A) How do you know that?
and
B) Why the hell is it true?
> Ants (The bug, not the forumer) only fall over on their left hand
> side.
Two things:
A) How do you know that?
and
B) Why the hell is it true?
This makes me so much more paranoid than your "Are you sitting comfortably?" thread...
FantasyMeister wrote:
> "Did you know..?"
>
> The pseudo-intellectual.
Yup, that's me, most of my topics are:
Did you know you'd get a suntan if...
or,
Ants (The bug, not the forumer) only fall over on their left hand side.
> "Did you know..?"
>
> The pseudo-intellectual.
Yup, that's me, most of my topics are:
Did you know you'd get a suntan if...
or,
Ants (The bug, not the forumer) only fall over on their left hand side.
SHEEPY wrote:
> Let's all when what if I?
I agree.
> Let's all when what if I?
I agree.
I was just waiting on someone doing that....
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