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1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is
when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete
stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green
crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits
55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) Your never quite sure whether it's against the law or not
to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a
bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your
school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is
to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would
kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed
half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong !
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when
you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who
has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin
piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip
Hope these made you smile.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is
when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete
stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green
crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits
55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) Your never quite sure whether it's against the law or not
to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a
bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your
school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is
to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would
kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed
half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong !
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when
you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who
has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin
piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip
Hope these made you smile.
Page:
I remember the sheer distress in our primary class when we got new calculators and the 'boobless' thing wouldn't work with the new numbers.
The "boobless" thing? I used to do that..
But there was a sum... it goes like this:
There was a girl who was 13
She weighed 84 stone
But she wanted to weigh 45
So she went to the doctors and the doctor said 0 (oh!)
He said take these tablets 2 times a day
But she took them 4 times a day... and she ended up boobless...!
So on the calc it's pretty much: 13, 84, 45, 0, 2x 4x ....
My memory seems to hold an endless capacity for useless things.. :)
But there was a sum... it goes like this:
There was a girl who was 13
She weighed 84 stone
But she wanted to weigh 45
So she went to the doctors and the doctor said 0 (oh!)
He said take these tablets 2 times a day
But she took them 4 times a day... and she ended up boobless...!
So on the calc it's pretty much: 13, 84, 45, 0, 2x 4x ....
My memory seems to hold an endless capacity for useless things.. :)
I didn't grow up in the eighties, yet I still write 5318008 on the calulator.
At least, I used to - but i'm much more mature now.
Ahem.
At least, I used to - but i'm much more mature now.
Ahem.
I've seen this
Some are spot on
That racing against the flushed toilet... I did it after reading this post before.
Some are spot on
That racing against the flushed toilet... I did it after reading this post before.
Very true indeed, but didn't make me smile.
"It's funny, 'cos its true"
- Homer J Simpson.
- Homer J Simpson.
Absolutely true, especially "2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying."
Though I'm not sure we should be smiling about that... It's a nasty thing to do, heh
Though I'm not sure we should be smiling about that... It's a nasty thing to do, heh
What's to smile about?, they actually make you think more than smile.
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is
when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete
stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green
crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits
55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) Your never quite sure whether it's against the law or not
to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a
bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your
school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is
to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would
kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed
half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong !
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when
you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who
has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin
piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip
Hope these made you smile.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is
when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete
stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green
crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits
55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) Your never quite sure whether it's against the law or not
to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a
bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your
school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is
to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would
kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed
half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong !
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when
you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who
has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin
piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip
Hope these made you smile.
Page: