Viewing Thread:
"Drivel"

So I was sitting in Geography this morning... the rest of the class were looking in books to find maps and graphs for the essay we need to do, which I should really be doing now since I'm at home.

So sitting there looking at the wall... a wind vane actually... I think I was thinking that I would try and make it move round and round. Then I woke up from my day dream and wondered what the hell I was doing. Not trying to move the wind vane but in general about life. It just hit me there of how strange life is and at most times how tedious and pointless everything is. I waste too much time in doing meaningless things such as organising my school folders, putting gel in my hair, watching T.V, on the internet and even reading books. All for what? Vanity? Entertainment? It's all bloody pointless... I find life at present a boring, mindless struggle with too many things I want to do but don't. The only time I am content or even happy is when I'm sleeping and can dream away or spending some time with my family. I just can see towards the future that much... 'things will be better at Christmas/Birthday/Summer/University' when the truth is they aren't, it's just me trying to create an ounce of hope.

I keep having mood swings... first period today was History and I was happily discussing Iraq with class and such then in Geography I just completely changed...

" Craig gimmie some paper "

" No, I know for a fact that you have paper in your bag but you're too bloody lazy to get it and expect everyone to run to your every need "

" Whits tha matter wi yoo? "

" Nothing "

I'm just so confused with everything these days... I keep seaching for things that will being me some change... I've started playing more instruments as keyboard and drums as well as my guitar. I've started to grow plants in my room and bought some goldfish and lately even started taking up writing things and drawing. I suck at my instruments and writing of course and I myself even think I'm a bloody weirdo growing plants and keeping fish. Today my latest ambition in life is it to go to a small Spanish fishing resort and read George Orwell books all day in some local Tapas bar.

Hmmmm this post has made little sense and I've now got the sudden urge to drink lots of Vodka and go into double Computing drunk... have fun trying to code some God awful thing that is a waste of my time... then I'll tell some people that I don't like them and moan at the teacher that won't let me drop P.E even though I've not been for a month.

Goodbye

I didn't say you were going to become suicidal, you big pill-taking wrist slitter you.

Next person that calls me sucidal is getting a mighty big punch on the nose... only I get to think I'm suicidal... nobody else ya here?

" Everyone thinks your gonna kills yerself "

" Yeah, thanks for that "

Mood swings are so bloody ~ exciting, I see them as adventures ~ did you know that people DIE on adventures? ~ I want to die right now... ~ Life is good, tra la la la laa ~ Oi, you startin'? You dissin ma singin'? ~ Well, I don't care, so long as I like my singing it's okay.

Anger, Joyfulness, Hatred, Depression, Happiness, Violent temper and Self-confidence.

I stab ye hormones

*stab stab*

Just blame the hormones. I do.

Urgh I wish I never wrote that

Funnily how on the progressing journey walking home you feel sucidal yet when you come home you feel okay.

Note to self: Don't walk long distances in the rain

I'm the same way. One minute all is right with the world, the next it's just a futile waste of time and there's no point doing anything. Yesterday I was having lunch and enjoying an amusing, lively conversation - two seconds later I thought "Cheese? It's just a bunch of atoms, what's the point of that then?" and I was in a bad mood for the next few hours.

"Cheer up!"

"How about you cheer down, you bouncing fool."

"How the hell can he do his homework with that music so loud? How can anyone think with that music blaring into their ears?"

"Because if he -could- think, he wouldn't be doing the homework."

"What?"

"Never mind."

I prefer sucking at keyboards. Tastier! ;-)

So I was sitting in Geography this morning... the rest of the class were looking in books to find maps and graphs for the essay we need to do, which I should really be doing now since I'm at home.

So sitting there looking at the wall... a wind vane actually... I think I was thinking that I would try and make it move round and round. Then I woke up from my day dream and wondered what the hell I was doing. Not trying to move the wind vane but in general about life. It just hit me there of how strange life is and at most times how tedious and pointless everything is. I waste too much time in doing meaningless things such as organising my school folders, putting gel in my hair, watching T.V, on the internet and even reading books. All for what? Vanity? Entertainment? It's all bloody pointless... I find life at present a boring, mindless struggle with too many things I want to do but don't. The only time I am content or even happy is when I'm sleeping and can dream away or spending some time with my family. I just can see towards the future that much... 'things will be better at Christmas/Birthday/Summer/University' when the truth is they aren't, it's just me trying to create an ounce of hope.

I keep having mood swings... first period today was History and I was happily discussing Iraq with class and such then in Geography I just completely changed...

" Craig gimmie some paper "

" No, I know for a fact that you have paper in your bag but you're too bloody lazy to get it and expect everyone to run to your every need "

" Whits tha matter wi yoo? "

" Nothing "

I'm just so confused with everything these days... I keep seaching for things that will being me some change... I've started playing more instruments as keyboard and drums as well as my guitar. I've started to grow plants in my room and bought some goldfish and lately even started taking up writing things and drawing. I suck at my instruments and writing of course and I myself even think I'm a bloody weirdo growing plants and keeping fish. Today my latest ambition in life is it to go to a small Spanish fishing resort and read George Orwell books all day in some local Tapas bar.

Hmmmm this post has made little sense and I've now got the sudden urge to drink lots of Vodka and go into double Computing drunk... have fun trying to code some God awful thing that is a waste of my time... then I'll tell some people that I don't like them and moan at the teacher that won't let me drop P.E even though I've not been for a month.

Goodbye