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"What to call the kids"

When i am to have children I am going to be annoying to them as all fathers are, one way is to call them your "Spawn":

"Wake up my spawn, get ready to go to school so you can be educated"

and another way is to make them call you "Their Master" and bow down to you.

But the most rediculous way is to say somethign like this to them:

"go forth my spawn and gather an army worthy enough for your Master so we can take over the world"

This is just some stupid thing that I started at school, you can give us your ideas if you actually want to stay in this topic long enough.

Chedder Bob

Name your kid that before the movie is released and he will be the most best buddy they will have.

The Hulk.

Then again no one would fight a girl named Baby. (My English teacher's 3 year old daughter)

Or Grandpa.
No one would fight a grandpa.

Wolverine.

No kid f##ks with Wolverine in the playground.

I'm going to call my (non-existent because I hate kids) kid "Captain Fantastic".

Teacher "Who do you think you are, boy?"
Kid "Captain Fantastic, sir"
Teacher "...damn"

You could just call the child girl or boy. "Come here boy!!"

I've always thought that if i have kids i'd like to teach them to call stuff something else. For example teach them that a car is called a chicken...a TV is called shampoo etc. This way when they go to school they can get a better education than they'd probably get now!

Theres a kis at my school called 'Moses' - No lie.