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I don't actually watch The Office, but I have seen it, so I know who Dave Brent is. Got these in an e-mail today, and thought they were pretty funny - thought I'd share them...
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1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
2. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
3. Never do today that which will become someone elses responsibility tomorrow.
4. Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day in the average office.
5. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
6. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
7. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
8. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
9. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
10. If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.
11. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
12. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
13. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
14. Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.
15. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone elses?
16. I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work.
17. Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.
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1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
2. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
3. Never do today that which will become someone elses responsibility tomorrow.
4. Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day in the average office.
5. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
6. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
7. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
8. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
9. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
10. If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.
11. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
12. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
13. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
14. Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.
15. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone elses?
16. I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work.
17. Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.
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Dr Z wrote:
> Haha! Classic!
>
> I love that guy
Referring to David Brent there hypothemetically speaking, just so Wookie didn't get any ideas
:D
> Haha! Classic!
>
> I love that guy
Referring to David Brent there hypothemetically speaking, just so Wookie didn't get any ideas
:D
These aren't actually David Brent quotes though, are they? Just Brentisms.
J-42 wrote:
> Is there gonna be a new series?
A new series or a *special* feature length episode. tbc
> Is there gonna be a new series?
A new series or a *special* feature length episode. tbc
Is there gonna be a new series?
I have to admit it I am completely hooked on this program, and have the first series on DVD which I have watched many a time, but my favourite quote probably of them all has to be the one from Gareth after Tim has put his stapler in a jelly.
Gareth: "You know I don't like jelly, I don't trust the way it moves"
lol. This program is pure genius!
Gareth: "You know I don't like jelly, I don't trust the way it moves"
lol. This program is pure genius!
The last one was funny!
lol
lol
..'I bet everyone in the office has woken up to the crack of Dawn'..
:D That was soo funny!
Then the irnoy about his so called 'professionalism' a mniute later in the episode.
:D
:D That was soo funny!
Then the irnoy about his so called 'professionalism' a mniute later in the episode.
:D
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:
> 17. Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in
> the bin without reading them.
Fantastic. Best of the lot, that one ;)
You really should watch The Office too, it's excellent.
"Someone's put my stapler in a Jelly again."
> 17. Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in
> the bin without reading them.
Fantastic. Best of the lot, that one ;)
You really should watch The Office too, it's excellent.
"Someone's put my stapler in a Jelly again."
Watched my first episode of 'The Office' last night - I am hooked.
To a receptionist named dawn -
'I've bet every man in the office has had you at one time or another'
(Dawn) 'Eh?'
'Been up the at crack of dawn, eh?'
To a receptionist named dawn -
'I've bet every man in the office has had you at one time or another'
(Dawn) 'Eh?'
'Been up the at crack of dawn, eh?'
I got that e-mail
The one about employing unlucky people is excellent
The one about employing unlucky people is excellent
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