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"drip...drip...drip...drip"

Ever lay in bed at night, trying to sleep? It's been a long day and you just want to escape for a few hours?
But as you lay there, a tap is dripping. A steady, metranomic rythm pulsing quietly. You ignore it and close your eyes, shut it out and exhale steadily.
But it continues with the sound until you snap, leap up and almost yank the tap from the sink.

Ever felt like that?
Trying to be calm and relaxed, happy and natural but that tiny little annoyance suddenly tips you over the edge.
That's how it's going right now.
It comes from the constant stream of idiocy from people at work. Stupid, barren statements of their life that force you to respond with a thin-lipped smile and a noise of understanding in the hope they leave you alone.
Family members that operate in a cloud of misery and self-inflicted vagueness, these people too feel the need to share their void with you.

Is it cathartic for these drones to offload? Does it help them struggle through their day to try and force it onto you? Do they suddenly feel validated if they can try and make you understand them?
One of the biggest crimes in life is to waste time. There's barely enough as it is, yet so much seems to be spent standing in front of somebody as they run through a litany of their failures and shared problems.
But if I turn and walk off, I'm the bad man.
Don't these people understand how close they are to witnessing somebody snap? How would they feel if I forgot social convention and went for the face?

I can tolerate endless mistakes and foul ups, it's when they start to try and pull me in that I get twitchy.
My life is my own, I fix my own fences and maintain Fort Me as best I can.
But the constant stream of these people trying to get in, trying to kick my gates down and run amok is starting to get to me.
I'll smile and nod and wait for the gaps in their monologues so I can insert random noises of sympathy, just dont expect me to share one iota of myself with them.

"Good weekend?" is the mantra of man. To be followed with "Yeah" or "Not really". That's the rule, nobody wants any details. It's a dance of politeness, nothing more.
Yet there are certain individuals that feel the burning need to start droning about their problems, as if it would mean anything to me and expect me to actually care.
If I'm having a bad day, I'll quietly go about my business and fix things. What I don't do is turn to the person next to me and start to fill their head with my problems.
When did we become a nation of whiny little insects? What ever happened to "A man's business is his own"

Dont tell me about your cat that got sick, dont tell me about your cousin getting the flu.
Because I don't care at all. If you are my friend, I'll sit until the sun burns out and do whatever I can for you.
If you are a person I share daylight hours with at a job, that's all you are - don't confuse that with fondness because some of us are busy with life, we don't need to make our jobs the centre of our being.

Drip...drip...drip...
It's getting near to that moment I'll tear the tap from the wall.
Don't say I didn't warn you

This might help though:

http://www.spleenvent.com/

You can work out how likely co-workers are to be serial killers.

What you're saying, Goatboy, makes me glad I work in a predominently male arena, blokes are quite so keen to tell you all their problems.

But still, sometimes I find it really hard to make conversation with them, when I'm just not interested.

As an example, one bloke was looking at some girl in The Sun, going "phwoar, I wouldn't mind a few minutes with her"

So I was like "Yes Martin, and I bet she's sitting looking at her calendar of Computer Centre guys, saying I wouldn't mind getting it on with that Martin..."

Sometimes I can't help but say it, because they're always digging into me, trying to grind me down. I really do have enough to deal with as it is, I don't like my job, these people don't need to make it worse.

I was actually going to disagree for a moment, but then you wrote this:

"If you are my friend, I'll sit until the sun burns out and do whatever I can for you."

And now I agree with you, because at first I thought you meant your friends too.

So this is a pretty pointless reply really. Bwah.

I am polite.
To start with.

Then when I've had enough, I politely explain I dont want to listen anymore and it gets ignored.
And it builds and builds until I erupt - and then "What's wrong with you?"

95% of the people schlepping around this planet are using precious resources and taking up waaay too much space.

Dr Duck wrote:
you seem rude, they take offense,


This is true.

But what you have to think about is if that's a better situation than you being completely bored and having your time wasted. Most of the time, really, it's better to just tell them.

I know exactly what you mean Goaty. One of the worst things about it is that their problems aren't remotely interesting. "He said he'd text me and the never! I bet he says he had no money but I bet he did and my little brother got this jacket and he's a right cool kid now you know".....just sod off! I hate most people anyway, without them telling me their problems. It's just another excuse to indulge in some loathing. If they stopped to listen for a minute, 90% of them would realise that the person they always talk to but never speaks back has much bigger problems.

Hmm, personally i would have bottled the direct approach (telling them they're boring / to go away etc), you seem rude, they take offense, certain people.. well, it's easier if they don't hate you whether you like them or not.

Instead, where possible i'd go with the white lie. You have something very important, preferably that envolves going somewhere else. Even if you stay there, i found if you make it as clear as possible that you were busy and couldn't talk, then ignore them (especially avoiding eye contact when you've started doing something else), it's a happy way out that doesn't make you seem *too* rude, just distant.
If you have to leave them, the toilet might come to your rescue. They can hardly hold that against you, and we're not women, we visit alone. Just try not to use it too often eh?

Then again, i was never all that good with it, the night before last we were watching a film in my flat (uni, many people). Finished at half one, went to my room via the toilet. When i got there, 2 of them were already in my room waiting for me. I did actually say goodnight to them less than a minute ago, as i pointed out. But it was 3 am before i was rid of them. And even then i managed to offend them on the way out.
So i might not be the best person to listen to.
:^)

When I'm feeling really annoyed, I just get a bit of blank A4 paper, and a big fat marker pen.

Then I write a rude word on the paper real big, so it fills it up. I then stare at it for a bit, and I feel so much better.

Failing that, just say "you're boring me", turn around and walk off. That's what I do, but only very occassionally...

The simple solution is to ignore them, if your the sort of person who doesn't have a heart, feelings or any degree of maturity.

Even at the tender age of 20 i'm only just beginning to realise how neurotic and whole-heartedly difficult it is to maintain relationships with people who you gave a part of yourself to.

It's not something you lose when they get it, but yet it's not something you can ever get back. Feelings never truely go away, they can change into something else, they can become more intense, or fade away, and many many times love fades to apathy, but there is always another side to a relationship. Another person always has that part of you which you gladly gave them on a wave of euphoria, and all the while you never realised how much of an impact it would have on your life.

That's where the problems lie boys and girls, life is a long list of interactions with other people over varying lengths of time, and it's hard to make it all stop and go away.

Sometimes you just want to be alone, you want you to be yours.

I have no problem with listening to other people's problems. It serves a number of purposes.

It lets me know thatI'm not the only perso out there without a perfect existence, and also often justifies my own feelings toward the problems I have myself.

Knowing other people can have problems is one of life's few comforts, but it must also be stated that I, personally, don't offload my problems onto my workmates.