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"Distressing news...for me."

My auntie (of about 60-odd years old), has not been well for the past couple of days; and it wasn't just a cold or anything, she genuinely felt weak, and wouldn't go about places, etc.

Anyway, a specialist came out to see her today (she is deaf, so the Doctors messages were relaed through me), and she said that my Auntie has darkness around the ribs.

Sadly, my Dad says it looks like the start of Cancer or something.

I really didn't know what else to do, or who to talk to; so I posted it here, just to try and get some perspective on it.

By the way, she's lived with us since I was born, so this news is really hard for me to take. She is a very kind person, and I will desperatly miss her with all my heart.

cookie monster wrote:
> The funeral was of course a sad occasion, and for many days my heart
> was heavy, but it got easier. Slowly you forget your sadness and in
> its place are happy memories. And a memory of happy memories is never
> a bad thing.

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I didn't go to my Grandad's funeral - I expected it'd be too sad an occassion for me, so I just decided to leave it out. Afterwards, I wished I had gone though, just to pay my last few respects to the man that made such an impact in my life. But the thing is, if I did go, I probably would've wished that I hadn't.

Ah well, as I always say, it's happened, it's over, it's done with, and there's nothing I can do to change what has happened.

I hope so CM, the thought of her not being here is too much for me to contemplate at the moment.

Even worse though, is the thought that if it is cancer, she can't do anything about it.

Even if it does turn out to be cancer do not lose hope, these days providing it is seen early enough quite a few cancers can be sucessfully treated.

I'm going to heed your advice (J and DM).

While it hasn't been confirmed that it's cancer, it's more likely that it will be, because she smoked heavily up until about a month ago (when she started going unwell).

Even now, I am beginning to really appreciate her being here, and will take many more opportuntities than I used to, to be with her.

I'm just praying that it's not cancer. What little hope there is; it is STILL hope.

My gran died of cancer, no doubt from the cigarettes. At first it was a little strange, my gran had always been such a strong figure. But each time i went to see her i could see the cancer chipping away at her bit by bit. I tears you up inside, not being able to do anything. The morning i heard that she had passed away will remained burned into my heart, for although i was expecting it any day now, that moment still filled me with shock and anger. The fact that your own body can turn against you like that is horrifying.

The funeral was of course a sad occasion, and for many days my heart was heavy, but it got easier. Slowly you forget your sadness and in its place are happy memories. And a memory of happy memories is never a bad thing.

Well here iam prattling on about death, and thats never happy discussion. I hope your aunts health gets better, just be strong.

Basically, try not to be so upset now because its now you should be doing what most people won't, and what I didn't do and you should spend time with her. I hated feeling guilty when I lost a loved one, I felt guilty because I never spent the time, I believed they would actually always be there. Yet it hits you very quickly they won't be.

Wake up tommorrow and no matter what you do spend time with someone you normally would just expect to be there, I shout this to everyone who reads it.

As I said in my previous post, keep positive, because on the side of an advantage you have time, and some people don't. Make use of it please Stu.

er-no wrote:

Just be there for her and spend as much time as you can with her no matter what the news and what the time. You will find it helps a hell of a lot.
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That's good advice, and I'll remember to do just that.
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Best wishes! You know where I am.
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Thanks mate, I'll probably talk to you on MSN about it.

Its hard for me to reply to something like this as it seems to being back more memories than will probably help you. However nothing is confirmed yet? Just be there for her and spend as much time as you can with her no matter what the news and what the time. You will find it helps a hell of a lot.

Best wishes! You know where I am.

WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:

Though it doesn't sound good, here's hoping it's something else. Best wishes to you and yours.
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Thanks mate. You're right, I suppose it's Christmas what makes it all the worse; because that's meant to be a happy time, etc etc.

I feel selfish, but hearing people say Goodwill messages like that, does inspie me slightly.

(No, I don't want people to start doing them just for the sake of it :)

Can't really add to what's been said, but you have my sympathies. I lost my last surviving grandparent just before Christmas 1999, quite suddenly.

Not that there's ever a good time to lose someone, but around this time of year makes it seem so much worse.

Though it doesn't sound good, here's hoping it's something else. Best wishes to you and yours.