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"Where are Saddam's weapons?"

Were do you think that weapons inspectors will find Saddam's weapons of mass destruction?

I know that whenever I look for something it's always in the last place I look. I think this is because it would be stupid to continue looking after I had found it.

Given my vast experience of losing things, I thought that I would offer the inspector's some advice on where to look:

Down the back of the sofa; They may well have slipped from Saddam's pocket whilst he was relaxing in front of the TV, and slipped down the side of the cushion. I'd suggest that inspectors remove all cushions, rather than just lifting them, as this will increase the chance of finding them, as well as a small fortune in pocket change.

In his pants; Apparently two maids were heard discussing the size of Saddam's pocket rocket, and his inability to get it up. It's quite apparent that they were talking about Saddam's difficulty in creating weapons with a long range, suitable to attack the American continent. Again, much pocket change could be obtained going through all of Saddam's pockets.

In the fridge; Well I know I've done it before. Gone to fetch a beer or snack from the fridge, and placed the TV remote inside. Surely it's worth considering that Hussain could also have done this, perhaps picking up some left over meat products, given that he's known as the butcher of Baghdad, and putting down his chemical weapons, without even thinking about it.

In space; Perhaps these weapons have become Lost in Space, just like what happened to that family, the Robinson's, and that cowardly and devious Doctor Smith. Saddam could well have sent his weapons into space, only for them to disappear.

Perhaps the weapons inspectors need to take on a different perspective in order to aid their search. I find standing on your head is a fine way to make yourself look at things another way. This didn't work for my mum though.

Also, an elderly relative of mine suggested the following ditty when trying to find things:

"Bound and Binding,
Binding Bound,
See the Sight,
Hear the sound,
What is lost is now found,
Bound and Binding,
Binding Bound."

I can't say I've ever used it myself, but I can just imagine the weapons inspectors.

Inspector 1: Now where can those weapons of mass destruction be?
Inspector 2: Hang on, let me try this, bound and binding...etc.
Inspector 1: What the hell are you going on about?
Inspector 2: Quick, let's go, they're at the old mill!

I've got my own theory as to where Saddam's weapons are.
Post coming soon...

The Iraqi track and field team, competing at the Olympics, were caught trying to hide bombs up their jumpers...

Very good ducky, though flat and anthrax don't quite go together as a rhyming couplet.

If you guys can post your poetry...


Somewhere hidden deep in Sadam's 'tache
There's a nuclear aresenal, bio-weapons stash
When he sits down he knows that he can't sneeze
Cause the nuclear fallout will destroy his knees

Tuesday Hussein came around to our flat
With a truck of fresh spores of his anthrax
Came to hide his weapons didn't see him myself
There's deadly stuff growing on the fridge bottom shelf

I know he's an ape, but not alone by far
Today I caught Bush syphoning oil from my motor car
Wasn't very happy, wanted to knock him out
But his pre-emptive daisycutter blew up my house

Now I live under a bridge in the local park
John Major brings us women round after dark
When spent I listen to thier pillow talk
And plan to jump Bush next day when he takes Blair for a walk

He probably hides his brain in his freezer. Ice, Ice, Baby.....

yes they are in the Xboxes thats why the controllers are so big they have miny nukes in them

There are no nuclear weapons. Just friendly nuclear utensils that go BAD!

Saddam's weapons are within XBoxes.

The sagacious one wrote:
> Bada boom


With any luck, that boom was a bomb going off near you thus oblitterating any chance of such a poor joke being used again.

Ever.
:-P

In the same place that he hides his armies.

Up his sleevies.

Bada boom