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"What if..."

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Fri 22/11/02 at 14:47
Regular
Posts: 787
Being unoriginal and bored and full of sugar, I've decided to look into my hairy balls *cough*...crystal ball, and predict what will happen should any one of the few front runners win the Notable race.

*looks off into the distance all misty-eyed, and everything goes all wavy*

What if...I won?
Well, we don't have to worry about that. Self indulgence over, ON WITH THE POST!

What if...Mystique won?
The forums would be filled with even more female imitators, hoping to ride the wave of SR's original cross-dressing freak. Posts full of 'hehe' and '( . )( . )' would pollute the FOG airways.

What if...Mr Happy won?
The likes of Hans Christian Anderson and The Brothers Grimm would spin in their graves as the new notable would spin thousands of yarns to anyone foolish enough to listen. Of course, the first few months would be fine, with everyone liking Mr Happy and his great mind still left functioning, not yet ravaged by booze and cheap cheese gone past the sell by date. Soon enough, the quality would dwindle, and the stories would go off on tangents even weirder than some of SHEEPY's posts.

What if...Insane Bartender won?
The stupid ones of SR might think that IB would reject notability...when really, his reverse psychology is both obvious, and working. Once pee-coloured, the Bartender of Insanity would douse the boards in his alocohol...OF DEATH! He would run amok, apointing voters as death police, killing console owners for fun, whilst not wearing a shirt and being very very much cleverer than me.

What if...AliBoy won?
Everything would be freakin' perfect if AliBoy won, ok? His footsteps would grow roses and he would smell like perfume and his poop would be made of gold and everyone would always be smiling. So go ahead and do it, OK? PERFECT! PERFECT LITTLE GOLDEN POOP WORLD!

What if...MoJoJoJo won?
Everything would seem normal at first, with MoJoJoJo being funny and knowledgeable like all the other notables...but then, usernames would start spinning around, posts would disappear, children would turn inside out! Lightning, every night! Raining, all day! It is a terrible reality, and let us hope and pray that those burning fires of hellaciousness never touch us. What an evil, evil monkey half-brother...and to such nice little girls, too. Weird.

What if...Savatt78 won?
Well, for starters, instead of the SR logo, there'd be an XBOX sign! Scary, huh? Yeah, and it'd be law for all the Sony forum threads to have to have a subject heading of 'Sony is gay and the XBOX is goodest'. Similarly, all Nintendo forum threads would have 'Nintendo is for kids and Microsoft have Rare so hahaha'. All other forums would remain unchanged...for the time being. Suddenly, XBOX owners like gamezfreak would start winning lots of GADs, and Ninties like Dringo would suddenly disappear. It'd be like Russia, only with green and black. And instead of a hammer and sickle, it'd be that forking big Tekki controller.

What if...AfroJoe won?
Everyone would just shrug their shoulders or roll their eyes, possibly even both (weather permitting). However, his mam would have made jam sandwiches and prepared lots of squash for everyone, and passed out party hats to daddy and granny and the cat. And they'd sit there, and watch countdown, and then AfroJoe would go on SR and see his name was all gold coloured, and he's smile...but then, after a journey of self discovery, he'd discover that life wasn't all about wee-wee, it was about what you are inside: and that's PINK! So AfroJoe would cover his mam in the leftover jam sandwiches.

What if...Meka Dragon won?
The world would totally turn upside down and inside out (not just little kids and some thread names, like with MoJoJoJo). God will have been proved fallible with Meka winning double notability. There is a slight possibility that his name would go very dark, red even, and he'd have to go see a doctor about it...but most likely, there'd be a big explosion and existence will cease to exist. So let's send loki off on a hilarious adventure with Matt Damon to save the day. Or wait, maybe loki is Matt Damon. I dunno, the other one's called Bartleby. Bartelby. Bartelbee.

Blargh, there. Thanks for reading.

El Blokey
Sun 01/12/02 at 10:52
Regular
"Max Power"
Posts: 2,196
im afraid i cant tell you that he probably is though
Sat 30/11/02 at 19:23
Regular
"no longer El Blokey"
Posts: 4,471
Tell me you're kidding.
Thu 28/11/02 at 18:29
Regular
Posts: 10,364
If savatt won Xbox owners will be winning lots of GADs? WTF is that meant to mean, Anyone can win GADs you idiot.

Grow up.
Wed 27/11/02 at 17:03
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Things wouldn't have gone evil if I had been elected... well, maybe just a little

Things would have become funnier, with more (good) spoofs, more jokes and more porn

Yes, you're all hanging your heads in shame now, aren't you? Wishing you'd voted for me, aren't you? Eh? Yes, I thought so. Well, it's too late now, you had your chance to make MoJo Man your new god, and you blew it
Tue 26/11/02 at 18:21
Regular
"sdomehtongng"
Posts: 23,695
El Blokey wrote:
> What if...AfroJoe won?
> Everyone would just shrug their shoulders or roll their eyes, possibly
> even both (weather permitting).

---

Stop on too, matey.

:-D
Tue 26/11/02 at 18:18
Regular
"sdomehtongng"
Posts: 23,695
El Blokey One wrote:
> Thanks SR...I think I'm the first person to win in this forum.
> Whooooo...
>
> Not counting AJ winning the election, of course.

---

Yes. I was first. :-D

Well done. :-)
Tue 26/11/02 at 11:54
Regular
"no longer El Blokey"
Posts: 4,471
Thanks SR...I think I'm the first person to win in this forum. Whooooo...

Not counting AJ winning the election, of course.
Fri 22/11/02 at 14:52
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
El Blokey wrote:
> What if...Insane Bartender won?
> The stupid ones of SR might think that IB would reject
> notability...when really, his reverse psychology is both obvious, and
> working. Once pee-coloured, the Bartender of Insanity would douse the
> boards in his alocohol...OF DEATH! He would run amok, apointing voters
> as death police, killing console owners for fun, whilst not wearing a
> shirt and being very very much cleverer than me.

You said you'd keep it quiet!!

Seriously though, I won't win, and if it looks like I will... well, let's just say I'll keep my vote back till around midnight.
Fri 22/11/02 at 14:51
Regular
"no longer El Blokey"
Posts: 4,471
Ever since one of my posts got lots of people very annoyed, I've become very PC. Which is quite lame, really. But whatever.
Fri 22/11/02 at 14:50
Regular
"5 European Cups!!!"
Posts: 5,795
El Blokey wrote:

PS - no offence is intended towards anyone mentioned in this post, or anyone else for that matter.
----------

You really didn't have to say that part ;)

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