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Water
There has been a lot of talk recently about how water is the daddy and without it we would not exist and so on. That’s just propaganda, every Government in the world is lying, as they don’t want to accept the truth. Water is liquid evil.
We should get rid of it.
I give you rain. Great stuff rain; people get wet, places get flooded and more importantly picnics get ruined. I can’t think of any good uses of rain apart from creating the need for the odd umbrella or too thus creating some jobs in giant corporations who make money from people’s misery.
Aquatic leviathans are also a menace. A report issued by some boffins conclusively proved that without water, shark attacks would decrease by up to 100%. Ditto crocodile attacks, barracuda assaults and jellyfish muggings. In fact it is estimated that all attacks by water based animals would desist “almost immediately”.
Even better is the news that stupid people will have fewer words to learn if water no longer existed, so “amphibian”, “hydrological” and “wet” would be removed from the dictionary. People wouldn’t need to take swimming lessons either, so that would be another thing they wouldn’t have to worry about.
Redundant Cruise ships could be converted into prisons, thus staving off the acute prison shortage and the song “ferry across the Mersey” would probably be outlawed, which we can all agree as being a very good thing.
We would also have larger beaches as the sand would simply extend out further, no more tides to spoil my sand castle creations. Also there would be more air to breathe as water selfishly binds 1 oxygen molecule with two hydrogen molecules, to form it's hideous being.
So in all a very overwhelming argument and one totally bereft of any flaws. I urge you all to write to your MP and demand immediate action. The world has already been 74% invaded by water, we should stand up and fight for the other 26% (allowing a couple of % here or there for countries no one likes).
Who’s with me on water?
There has been a lot of talk recently about how water is the daddy and without it we would not exist and so on. That’s just propaganda, every Government in the world is lying, as they don’t want to accept the truth. Water is liquid evil.
We should get rid of it.
I give you rain. Great stuff rain; people get wet, places get flooded and more importantly picnics get ruined. I can’t think of any good uses of rain apart from creating the need for the odd umbrella or too thus creating some jobs in giant corporations who make money from people’s misery.
Aquatic leviathans are also a menace. A report issued by some boffins conclusively proved that without water, shark attacks would decrease by up to 100%. Ditto crocodile attacks, barracuda assaults and jellyfish muggings. In fact it is estimated that all attacks by water based animals would desist “almost immediately”.
Even better is the news that stupid people will have fewer words to learn if water no longer existed, so “amphibian”, “hydrological” and “wet” would be removed from the dictionary. People wouldn’t need to take swimming lessons either, so that would be another thing they wouldn’t have to worry about.
Redundant Cruise ships could be converted into prisons, thus staving off the acute prison shortage and the song “ferry across the Mersey” would probably be outlawed, which we can all agree as being a very good thing.
We would also have larger beaches as the sand would simply extend out further, no more tides to spoil my sand castle creations. Also there would be more air to breathe as water selfishly binds 1 oxygen molecule with two hydrogen molecules, to form it's hideous being.
So in all a very overwhelming argument and one totally bereft of any flaws. I urge you all to write to your MP and demand immediate action. The world has already been 74% invaded by water, we should stand up and fight for the other 26% (allowing a couple of % here or there for countries no one likes).
Who’s with me on water?
Page:
"My" new tagline.
God, why dost thou mock me so?
God, why dost thou mock me so?
"water is the daddy"
That shall be by new tagline.
That shall be by new tagline.
While you do raise a valid point, your title:
"Liquid of evil" falls to another loose particled substance. That which is known by day as: lactic acid. Think about it, how far could you run if there was no lactic acid? Probably all the way to Thailand! Even more maybe! How many times could you play 'Track and Feild" on the NES if your thumbs didnt turn into lumps of raw, numb clay? Whats that I smell? The smell of AS MANY TIMES AS YOU LIKE! Stupid acid. Hell bent on stopping us from repeating our daily physical tasks. If it where not for him, im sure we would have come up with an answer to world hunger by now. (probably by manouvering fish towards troubled countries or something with the new found ability to throw thousands of fish in quick succession or something. Perhaps fruits, they'd possibly have more momentum...) Either way, I have a theory about it.
Formerly, I believed that the patella (Knee bone) housed Nutella, hence the name. Makes sense. Its just small enough that it could fit two portions, in case of emergency, one in each knee, and since its enclosed the sugary spread would last. But recently I have come to realise that the innocent Patella is unwittingly safeguarding non other than satans own: Lactic acid (:The evil within.) Try tapping your feet on the ground. Keep going. Get faster. Oh no! What has happened? The evil senior Acid has had his wicked way with you, speeding to your ankles, enrapturing your sinew and causing a pain like no other! How on earth did he get there so fast? He must have known, or.... SEEN!
The Patella is a good lookout point, but only as far as the thigh going upwards, or the ankle going downwards. The toes are round a couple of corners, so it takes a bit longer to get to them. (Just try wiggling them.) And the head! Why, the head is as far from the knee to Mr. L-(a)cid here as Texas is to a turnip. (Try wiggling your head and your ankles, and see which gets held down with the ice-vice like grip first.)
And so I put it to you, the jury:
Is not Water nothing more than and innocent bystander, undeserving of such a slur? Hasn't our chum H20 Stuck with us through thick and thin, forever preserving our ancient species of mammoth in its frozen caress? Who else provides us with such an efficient storage method for animals supposedly long since dead? I urge you to reconsider, and to hear both sides of what is, at the core, a saddening story.
"Liquid of evil" falls to another loose particled substance. That which is known by day as: lactic acid. Think about it, how far could you run if there was no lactic acid? Probably all the way to Thailand! Even more maybe! How many times could you play 'Track and Feild" on the NES if your thumbs didnt turn into lumps of raw, numb clay? Whats that I smell? The smell of AS MANY TIMES AS YOU LIKE! Stupid acid. Hell bent on stopping us from repeating our daily physical tasks. If it where not for him, im sure we would have come up with an answer to world hunger by now. (probably by manouvering fish towards troubled countries or something with the new found ability to throw thousands of fish in quick succession or something. Perhaps fruits, they'd possibly have more momentum...) Either way, I have a theory about it.
Formerly, I believed that the patella (Knee bone) housed Nutella, hence the name. Makes sense. Its just small enough that it could fit two portions, in case of emergency, one in each knee, and since its enclosed the sugary spread would last. But recently I have come to realise that the innocent Patella is unwittingly safeguarding non other than satans own: Lactic acid (:The evil within.) Try tapping your feet on the ground. Keep going. Get faster. Oh no! What has happened? The evil senior Acid has had his wicked way with you, speeding to your ankles, enrapturing your sinew and causing a pain like no other! How on earth did he get there so fast? He must have known, or.... SEEN!
The Patella is a good lookout point, but only as far as the thigh going upwards, or the ankle going downwards. The toes are round a couple of corners, so it takes a bit longer to get to them. (Just try wiggling them.) And the head! Why, the head is as far from the knee to Mr. L-(a)cid here as Texas is to a turnip. (Try wiggling your head and your ankles, and see which gets held down with the ice-vice like grip first.)
And so I put it to you, the jury:
Is not Water nothing more than and innocent bystander, undeserving of such a slur? Hasn't our chum H20 Stuck with us through thick and thin, forever preserving our ancient species of mammoth in its frozen caress? Who else provides us with such an efficient storage method for animals supposedly long since dead? I urge you to reconsider, and to hear both sides of what is, at the core, a saddening story.
Water
There has been a lot of talk recently about how water is the daddy and without it we would not exist and so on. That’s just propaganda, every Government in the world is lying, as they don’t want to accept the truth. Water is liquid evil.
We should get rid of it.
I give you rain. Great stuff rain; people get wet, places get flooded and more importantly picnics get ruined. I can’t think of any good uses of rain apart from creating the need for the odd umbrella or too thus creating some jobs in giant corporations who make money from people’s misery.
Aquatic leviathans are also a menace. A report issued by some boffins conclusively proved that without water, shark attacks would decrease by up to 100%. Ditto crocodile attacks, barracuda assaults and jellyfish muggings. In fact it is estimated that all attacks by water based animals would desist “almost immediately”.
Even better is the news that stupid people will have fewer words to learn if water no longer existed, so “amphibian”, “hydrological” and “wet” would be removed from the dictionary. People wouldn’t need to take swimming lessons either, so that would be another thing they wouldn’t have to worry about.
Redundant Cruise ships could be converted into prisons, thus staving off the acute prison shortage and the song “ferry across the Mersey” would probably be outlawed, which we can all agree as being a very good thing.
We would also have larger beaches as the sand would simply extend out further, no more tides to spoil my sand castle creations. Also there would be more air to breathe as water selfishly binds 1 oxygen molecule with two hydrogen molecules, to form it's hideous being.
So in all a very overwhelming argument and one totally bereft of any flaws. I urge you all to write to your MP and demand immediate action. The world has already been 74% invaded by water, we should stand up and fight for the other 26% (allowing a couple of % here or there for countries no one likes).
Who’s with me on water?
There has been a lot of talk recently about how water is the daddy and without it we would not exist and so on. That’s just propaganda, every Government in the world is lying, as they don’t want to accept the truth. Water is liquid evil.
We should get rid of it.
I give you rain. Great stuff rain; people get wet, places get flooded and more importantly picnics get ruined. I can’t think of any good uses of rain apart from creating the need for the odd umbrella or too thus creating some jobs in giant corporations who make money from people’s misery.
Aquatic leviathans are also a menace. A report issued by some boffins conclusively proved that without water, shark attacks would decrease by up to 100%. Ditto crocodile attacks, barracuda assaults and jellyfish muggings. In fact it is estimated that all attacks by water based animals would desist “almost immediately”.
Even better is the news that stupid people will have fewer words to learn if water no longer existed, so “amphibian”, “hydrological” and “wet” would be removed from the dictionary. People wouldn’t need to take swimming lessons either, so that would be another thing they wouldn’t have to worry about.
Redundant Cruise ships could be converted into prisons, thus staving off the acute prison shortage and the song “ferry across the Mersey” would probably be outlawed, which we can all agree as being a very good thing.
We would also have larger beaches as the sand would simply extend out further, no more tides to spoil my sand castle creations. Also there would be more air to breathe as water selfishly binds 1 oxygen molecule with two hydrogen molecules, to form it's hideous being.
So in all a very overwhelming argument and one totally bereft of any flaws. I urge you all to write to your MP and demand immediate action. The world has already been 74% invaded by water, we should stand up and fight for the other 26% (allowing a couple of % here or there for countries no one likes).
Who’s with me on water?
Page: