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Water
There has been a lot of talk recently about how water is the daddy and without it we would not exist and so on. That’s just propaganda, every Government in the world is lying, as they don’t want to accept the truth. Water is liquid evil.
We should get rid of it.
I give you rain. Great stuff rain; people get wet, places get flooded and more importantly picnics get ruined. I can’t think of any good uses of rain apart from creating the need for the odd umbrella or too thus creating some jobs in giant corporations who make money from people’s misery.
Aquatic leviathans are also a menace. A report issued by some boffins conclusively proved that without water, shark attacks would decrease by up to 100%. Ditto crocodile attacks, barracuda assaults and jellyfish muggings. In fact it is estimated that all attacks by water based animals would desist “almost immediately”.
Even better is the news that stupid people will have fewer words to learn if water no longer existed, so “amphibian”, “hydrological” and “wet” would be removed from the dictionary. People wouldn’t need to take swimming lessons either, so that would be another thing they wouldn’t have to worry about.
Redundant Cruise ships could be converted into prisons, thus staving off the acute prison shortage and the song “ferry across the Mersey” would probably be outlawed, which we can all agree as being a very good thing.
We would also have larger beaches as the sand would simply extend out further, no more tides to spoil my sand castle creations. Also there would be more air to breathe as water selfishly binds 1 oxygen molecule with two hydrogen molecules, to form it's hideous being.
So in all a very overwhelming argument and one totally bereft of any flaws. I urge you all to write to your MP and demand immediate action. The world has already been 74% invaded by water, we should stand up and fight for the other 26% (allowing a couple of % here or there for countries no one likes).
Who’s with me on water?
There has been a lot of talk recently about how water is the daddy and without it we would not exist and so on. That’s just propaganda, every Government in the world is lying, as they don’t want to accept the truth. Water is liquid evil.
We should get rid of it.
I give you rain. Great stuff rain; people get wet, places get flooded and more importantly picnics get ruined. I can’t think of any good uses of rain apart from creating the need for the odd umbrella or too thus creating some jobs in giant corporations who make money from people’s misery.
Aquatic leviathans are also a menace. A report issued by some boffins conclusively proved that without water, shark attacks would decrease by up to 100%. Ditto crocodile attacks, barracuda assaults and jellyfish muggings. In fact it is estimated that all attacks by water based animals would desist “almost immediately”.
Even better is the news that stupid people will have fewer words to learn if water no longer existed, so “amphibian”, “hydrological” and “wet” would be removed from the dictionary. People wouldn’t need to take swimming lessons either, so that would be another thing they wouldn’t have to worry about.
Redundant Cruise ships could be converted into prisons, thus staving off the acute prison shortage and the song “ferry across the Mersey” would probably be outlawed, which we can all agree as being a very good thing.
We would also have larger beaches as the sand would simply extend out further, no more tides to spoil my sand castle creations. Also there would be more air to breathe as water selfishly binds 1 oxygen molecule with two hydrogen molecules, to form it's hideous being.
So in all a very overwhelming argument and one totally bereft of any flaws. I urge you all to write to your MP and demand immediate action. The world has already been 74% invaded by water, we should stand up and fight for the other 26% (allowing a couple of % here or there for countries no one likes).
Who’s with me on water?
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Water is what stops us being French
ergo
water > *
ergo
water > *
Mmmm that's good water
Apparently all the water in the entire World has been recycled about 9000 times since history began. This means that you are drinking doggy pee from a bottle called Perier and buying ex pig swill in a cup from MacDonalds.
(no wonder you throw the packaging all over the town centre)
(no wonder you throw the packaging all over the town centre)
It was good
this is getting predictable.
I read this topic the other day, and thought, it's not good, but it'll win a GAD.
Interesting. Either I can see the future, or Snuggly is getting easy to read.
I read this topic the other day, and thought, it's not good, but it'll win a GAD.
Interesting. Either I can see the future, or Snuggly is getting easy to read.
VenomByte wrote:
> God, why dost thou mock me so?
I wasn't. I just thought you had a cold.
> God, why dost thou mock me so?
I wasn't. I just thought you had a cold.
*Goes to the toilet*
Shouts "Take that you fiend".
Shouts "Take that you fiend".
*throws glass of water off the wall*
Damn you foul beast
Great :D
Damn you foul beast
Great :D
Without water a certain white rap star would never have released "ice ice baby"...
The evidence against is damning.
Lactic acid though, oh you have a point.
Therefore I declare Water the mac daddy and Lactic Acid one sick mutha.
We shall stand together, maybe sitting for a while when the pain and dehydration becomes too much. But we will earn our victory like warrior poets.
Freedam!
The evidence against is damning.
Lactic acid though, oh you have a point.
Therefore I declare Water the mac daddy and Lactic Acid one sick mutha.
We shall stand together, maybe sitting for a while when the pain and dehydration becomes too much. But we will earn our victory like warrior poets.
Freedam!
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