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"ADBCS2 super console news"

I have just completed my new games console design. It's called the ADVANCE DREAMBOXCUBES2 and it's completely free. Costs are paid for by a variety of revenues including licenced hoardings in the games e.g. dogfood adverts, and six-monthly upgrades at around £100 which are required to play any of the "good games".

As Microsoft are involved you will see a "please register now" message every time you boot up and the machine will sense who is holding the controller and automatically choose which game you want to play. This facility can fortunately be overridden by typing ™$&*oik.dogbone% into any officially licenced peripheral keyboard (extra).

This machine is complete with Microsoft House Invader, consisting of spy camera and microphone, but this can of course be confused by re-wallpapering your room with lifesized pictures of yourself and playing the menu music from Sky.

The ADBCS2 as it is affectionately known, will be shaped like a jelly mould and finished in translucent puke green. It will include a tilt facility and a coin activated Microsoft Ice Dispenser (mandatory since the launch of WALLS 2002).

Pay as you go Internet, Pay on Demand Movies, Pay per view Sports, Pay to Leave the Room and Pay per Pay, will all be included.

The machine will not play DVD movies or music CD's and there is no means of achieving a royalty. To buy games you simply connect to Premium Pay Internet which downloads a PDF file of the box and the manual which you can print out on licenced paper via any official peripheral printer. The manual carries a 19 digit decipher code which is typed in in addition to your credit card number to enable even the largest game to be downloaded via Premium Pay in under three hours.

To apply to buy your ADBCS2 console you will need an Official Order Form. These are promised to be under 36 pages and will put you in the retail queue, to join the official UK queue, to join the worldwide queue.

The machine is expected to be the defacto standard for homework thanks to new NOEXCUSE technology with DOITNOW 2.0 and has already been adopted as the mandatory platform for the next Millenium by all Tesco Schools (public sector). Private schools are said to be holding out for a more lucrative deal.

(More information.)

Tony,

Did you nail the pri... erm, "person"... who posted that tosh in the Classifieds section?

(Beard?)


(Grix is off revising, so I'm in charge of the computer. BRAH HA HA HA HA HAA...)

Oh, by the way, in case anybody thinks otherwise, I do indeedee buy my own games and would not create my own gameaday prizes. If I am to win, it has to be an honest win. All judge's decisions are final.

I won't bleet! BAAAAAAAAAAA

If I won - and that's a big IF - then I would be honoured to DONATE.

I think Ali is a really super chap, such a good all-round guy. I promise to support him and give him free beer and tea breaks, bonuses, pay rises and sit him with the girls all around him, and tidy his desk for him and shave my beard for charity and give him the best computer we have......

Tony, there must be enough games on the shelves there for you to 'have yourself' a gameaday prize!

Other than that, they don't do a prize for madness, else you may be in with a chance ;-)

Ali

I am very disappointed that my design for ADVANCE DREAMBOXCUBES2 did not win the Gameaday prize.

In the words of a certain welsh sheep. BAAAAAAAAAAA

Tony as soon as I become president, I'll pass a law making every American have to buy this new superconsole/computer.
What do you mean Microsoft sponsored my campaign with the tears and blood of many a frustrated Windows user!

You're me you stupid thing. Me should not tell me that I won't win. I'm glad your gone. Place isn't safe with you around.

Tony - there is no way this will win Gameaday

Swiiisssshhhhh