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The other day I was in my local doctors office. He'd been out of the room for quite a while (he'd told me to wait while he got some “urgent assistance from his 17 year old secretary about a cold I had”. Weird...) and I had started to get bored. After looking on the dozens of porn sites in his history, and using his credit cards (which were conveniently in a draw underneath his desk) to buy chips on an online casino, I started to root around his office, just for the hell of it.
I have to say injecting the dolls with cold jabs was pretty amusing, as was reading through the countless medicine books which littered his shelves, only to find that they were filled with non - sense (Example - 'Cheesemogersitis - a rare disease aauionny uopos dius tryuba loplessa), but what caught my eye was his filing cabinet.
Finding out that my Head teacher had got several packets of viagra was a particular highlight, but nothing could compete with finding these. I stole them and, after trying to sell them on e bay for £1,000, I am finally putting them on this site (not in full of course, the rest of the passages you have to buy)
Hawk, Tony
Problem
Tony says that he fell whilst filming a new promotional video that try's to rip off little kids by telling them how to jump, but I know what really happened - He didn’t use his waking stick like I told him to. I told him 'Use your walking stick or you'll be sorry', but does he listen? Does he hell. All people with girly voices don’t, look at David Beckham and his speeding tickets etc.
Comments
That nancy boy needs to learn to pay us doctors some respect! I'll teach him to take my word for granted! Then the whole world will see that Doctor G. Mitchell is the best! MWUHAHAHAHAHA!
Prescription
I told him to eat lard, and lots of it, as well as taking up skateboarding full time again - everyone loves it when a fat person falls flat on their overly round face don't they? It'll be great fun when Activision sack him for Bam Margera...
Mario, Mario
Problem
Stupid Fat Italian plumber, always coming to me for help - 'I-a Got a wart on-a my finger, I need-a some cream', 'I broke-a my foot-a fighting Bowser and I need a cast' and 'I've got - a tropical disease-a and I need a cure-a'. Honestly, they must make them soft in Italy because if I’ve ever had a patient as much of a sissy as him, I'll be damned. This time he's come in with 3rd degree burns from that Bowser fight - 3rd degree, pfft! I've seen worse from people sitting in front a fire for 15 minutes, stupid wimp.
Comments
If Mario isn't prepared to put up with a little bit of heat he should dump that stupid Princess Peach and get a decent bird that doesn't always sleep around with big giant dinosaurs, but no, he refuses, and thus he gets punished. He deserves it I say...
Prescription
Well I called in Peach for a 'check up' and gave her a Spanish medicine which shall make her slowly lose her teeth, thus forcing Mario away from her. And for Mario? Well I gave him a mild sedative (which I covered up as 'antibiotics') which should give Bowser the upper hand in any up coming battles.
Kong, Donkey
Problem
DK is possibly my favourite victim... I mean patient. He's dumb, gullible and will do anything you ask him to. Once I gave him a piece of toilet paper after I'd just injected him with water for the fun of it and told him that it was a hat. Classic. Then another time I gave him a stick and told him that all those waiting outside were evil and were out to kill him. I earned a lot of money that day. Anyway, onto DK's problem, it happened shortly after Rare had been sold to Microsoft. It took a while for him to get it into his mind and when it did he went ape! He was so angry he ran down to Microsoft HQ and started ranting and raving. A nearby 18-wheeler truck had just collapsed under the weight of the 2 X-Boxes it was carrying, so Mr. Kong went and tried to pick one up. He got it as far as his knees and dropped it, crushing his feet.
Comment
Another example of his stupidness. The world and his wife know that not even a herd of elephants could carry an X -box between them, and the only people that could carry something that heavy is a direct worker of Bill Gates.
Prescription
Well, after phoning Rare, they agreed to graphically render another pair of feet for DK - pity he'll have to wait another 5 years for them. Until then I've given him a home made movie by me, showing a PS2 kidnapping Diddy Kong (who he lives with). I can't wait to see the outcome.
Well, that's just about all I could take, it was getting way too much for me (my mind can't take large sums of text without causing my a spasm), so I ripped the arm off of my top, undid the top five button, cut my chest with a pair of scissors and ran out the door screaming 'NO!'
Tribute (c)
I have to say injecting the dolls with cold jabs was pretty amusing, as was reading through the countless medicine books which littered his shelves, only to find that they were filled with non - sense (Example - 'Cheesemogersitis - a rare disease aauionny uopos dius tryuba loplessa), but what caught my eye was his filing cabinet.
Finding out that my Head teacher had got several packets of viagra was a particular highlight, but nothing could compete with finding these. I stole them and, after trying to sell them on e bay for £1,000, I am finally putting them on this site (not in full of course, the rest of the passages you have to buy)
Hawk, Tony
Problem
Tony says that he fell whilst filming a new promotional video that try's to rip off little kids by telling them how to jump, but I know what really happened - He didn’t use his waking stick like I told him to. I told him 'Use your walking stick or you'll be sorry', but does he listen? Does he hell. All people with girly voices don’t, look at David Beckham and his speeding tickets etc.
Comments
That nancy boy needs to learn to pay us doctors some respect! I'll teach him to take my word for granted! Then the whole world will see that Doctor G. Mitchell is the best! MWUHAHAHAHAHA!
Prescription
I told him to eat lard, and lots of it, as well as taking up skateboarding full time again - everyone loves it when a fat person falls flat on their overly round face don't they? It'll be great fun when Activision sack him for Bam Margera...
Mario, Mario
Problem
Stupid Fat Italian plumber, always coming to me for help - 'I-a Got a wart on-a my finger, I need-a some cream', 'I broke-a my foot-a fighting Bowser and I need a cast' and 'I've got - a tropical disease-a and I need a cure-a'. Honestly, they must make them soft in Italy because if I’ve ever had a patient as much of a sissy as him, I'll be damned. This time he's come in with 3rd degree burns from that Bowser fight - 3rd degree, pfft! I've seen worse from people sitting in front a fire for 15 minutes, stupid wimp.
Comments
If Mario isn't prepared to put up with a little bit of heat he should dump that stupid Princess Peach and get a decent bird that doesn't always sleep around with big giant dinosaurs, but no, he refuses, and thus he gets punished. He deserves it I say...
Prescription
Well I called in Peach for a 'check up' and gave her a Spanish medicine which shall make her slowly lose her teeth, thus forcing Mario away from her. And for Mario? Well I gave him a mild sedative (which I covered up as 'antibiotics') which should give Bowser the upper hand in any up coming battles.
Kong, Donkey
Problem
DK is possibly my favourite victim... I mean patient. He's dumb, gullible and will do anything you ask him to. Once I gave him a piece of toilet paper after I'd just injected him with water for the fun of it and told him that it was a hat. Classic. Then another time I gave him a stick and told him that all those waiting outside were evil and were out to kill him. I earned a lot of money that day. Anyway, onto DK's problem, it happened shortly after Rare had been sold to Microsoft. It took a while for him to get it into his mind and when it did he went ape! He was so angry he ran down to Microsoft HQ and started ranting and raving. A nearby 18-wheeler truck had just collapsed under the weight of the 2 X-Boxes it was carrying, so Mr. Kong went and tried to pick one up. He got it as far as his knees and dropped it, crushing his feet.
Comment
Another example of his stupidness. The world and his wife know that not even a herd of elephants could carry an X -box between them, and the only people that could carry something that heavy is a direct worker of Bill Gates.
Prescription
Well, after phoning Rare, they agreed to graphically render another pair of feet for DK - pity he'll have to wait another 5 years for them. Until then I've given him a home made movie by me, showing a PS2 kidnapping Diddy Kong (who he lives with). I can't wait to see the outcome.
Well, that's just about all I could take, it was getting way too much for me (my mind can't take large sums of text without causing my a spasm), so I ripped the arm off of my top, undid the top five button, cut my chest with a pair of scissors and ran out the door screaming 'NO!'
Tribute (c)
Page:
Well this will certainly be the first of many to come.
(Many = No)
(Many = No)
Well played Tribute! I remember my first GAD..
I've just left the phrase 'and only GAD' subtly out...
I've just left the phrase 'and only GAD' subtly out...
Your first win, and you did it with style. Nice one.
Gerrid was incorrect. Hurru.
But alas, Gerrid is correct.
But alas, it won't.
Funny, Tribute. Wouldn't be surprised if this wins GAD. Made me chuckle anyway.
That wasn't a dog, Tribute.
I used viagra on my dog. It humped my leg and drank water out of my socks, which it had, inexplitatedly chewed to deathly deadness.
Sure :o)
Good post anyways.. Viagra :o)
Good post anyways.. Viagra :o)
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