The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
*Scene 1*
*Heathrow Airport, somewhere in England*
*Snuggly is sat inside, drinking a beer, looking bored. He sees DW walk past*
Mr Snuggly - Hey... you're DW from the forums!
DW - (hurried) Why, yes, I am. Excuse me, I must go
*DW walks off, Snuggly sits back down*
Mr Snuggly - Rude son of a-
*The speaker system comes on*
Speaker - Flight 219 from Nottingham has been delayed due to the weather
Mr Snuggly - Great (!)
*His mobile phone rings, he pulls it out and answers*
Mr Snuggly - Yellow?
loki - Hey, Snuggers, it's me
Mr Snuggly - Mum?
loki - No, loki!
Mr Snuggly - Oh, right. What's up?
loki - Just wondering if you fancied coming over for a pint
Mr Snuggly - Sorry, I can't. I'm stuck at the airport, waiting for schroeder
loki - Oh aye? Getting yourself in with her, eh?
Mr Snuggly - I'm helping her decorate her spare room
loki - (disappointed) Oh... Ah well, have fun! I'm off to get lashed and tie a goat to a lamp post
Mr Snuggly - OK, ta ra
*He puts his phone away, and spots two newbies hanging around a door. They kick the door in and run inside. Snuggly gets up to investigate*
Rakuga - Hey! You're Mr Snuggly! You saved SR towers last Christmas!
Mr Snuggly - Yeah, I did, excuse me...
*Mr Snuggly walks off to the door*
Rakuga - Rude son of a-
*Mr Snuggly has a look inside the room, and goes in. The room is full of luggage, and Snuggly spots two people in the corner, fiddling with something*
Mr Snuggly - Hey, you, does your mother know you do that?
Bobbybobbob - What? Who the heck are you?
*They turn around and Snuggly sees they have tools in their hands*
Mr Snuggly - Oh, sorry, thought you were doing something else... I'll be off...
*Just as he turns to leave, the two newbies pull out guns and start firing*
Mr Snuggly - Not again!
*Snuggly dives behind a huge suitcase marked "AfroJoe's Afro Wigs" and hides from the onslaught of bullets. They stop firing*
Bobbybobbob - Go around!
Crack Up Lad - OK!
*Crack Up Lad starts to circle the room, until he comes up on where Snuggly is hidden. Except he's not there*
Crack Up Lad - WTF?!
*Snuggly jumps on him from behind and starts battering him with a golf club*
Crack Up Lad - Ow! Stop that! It's really, REALLY painful!
*The newbie drops to the floor, just as Bobbybobbob starts firing again. Snuggly ducks and starts rummaging around in Crack Up Lad's pants, looking for a gun*
Mr Snuggly - Aha, found it- Eeeeeeeew!
*He checks the other pocket*
Mr Snuggly - This better be what I think it is...
*He pulls the gun out of the pocket and starts shooting back at the newbie. After hitting just about every suitcase in the room, he finally hits Bobbybobbob, who lands in a pile of hairspray cans, marked "Property Of AfroJoe" Snuggly leaves the room and runs up to the nearest desk*
Mr Snuggly - Quick, call the police, there was just a shootout in that room over there!
Receptionist - I'm sorry, all the lines are out because of the storm. I can call the head of airport security though, he's in the building
Mr Snuggly - Do it, I'll just wait over there... by the bar
*Mr Snuggly has a pint, someone comes up and taps him on the shoulder*
Hercules - Hercules, head of airport security, what seems to be the trouble?
Mr Snuggly - Hercules!? I thought you were dead?!
Hercules - No, no, just mortally wounded
Mr Snuggly - You tried to kill me!
Hercules - I've had anger management courses
Mr Snuggly - Oh... well, alright then. I was involved in a shootout in that room over there!
Hercules - Been shooting forum users again? Trying to cut down on the number of GAD entries or something?
Mr Snuggly - How do you know they're forum users?
Hercules - We sent their fingerprints to SR. I had a feeling I recognised them, and Brad told us they were forum users.
Mr Snuggly - Hmm... strange. What were they doing in there?
Hercules - Stealing luggage
Mr Snuggly - They were doing more than stealing luggage! They had tools, and guns!
Hercules - Look, I can spend all week filling in paperwork, getting evidence, coming up with theories... or, I can just put "stealing luggage" and go home early.
Mr Snuggly - Lazy motherfunner
Hercules - What?! Don't make me throw you out! Just because I have no staff powers doesn't mean I don't have any power here! I can have you escorted out... in a pink tutu!
*Mr Snuggly grumbles something and walks off*
*Scene 2*
*Some lights are switched on, illuminating a small room full of computers*
DW - Get to work
*A group of newbies sit at the desks and start typing*
DW - Not spamming! I meant our job!
hellokitty119 - Oh, right
*One of the newbies pulls out some pliers and starts cutting wires*
DW - Hurry it up, I'm missing the Eastenders Christmas special
*Scene 3*
*Back at the airport, Snuggly is having a drink at the bar. The lights suddenly go off*
Mr Snuggly - What the-? I just spilled my pint!
*Upstairs, in the control room, Meka Dragon is looking worried*
Meka Dragon - What do you mean we've lost power?! We have 30 planes up there!
Controller - Sorry, sir, everything's gone dead!
Meka Dragon - This better not be another fault with those NTL muppets!
*Mr Snuggly walks in*
Mr Snuggly - What's going on?
Hercules - Hey, no civilians allowed in here!
Meka Dragon - Who are you?
Mr Snuggly - Snuggly... Mr Snuggly, licensed to pick GADs
Meka Dragon - Meka Dragon, chief of this airport, I believe you already know our head of security, Hercules
Mr Snuggly - Yeah, I've had the mis-pleasure...
Meka Dragon - Well, Snuggly, something has caused us to lose power. We can't communicate with the planes about to land here, and the runway lights are down, meaning they can't land. We can't send them away because they don't have enough fuel to make it to the next airport...
Mr Snuggly - Something to do with those idiots down at NTL?
Meka Dragon - We don't think so...
Mr Snuggly - Well then it's not something, it's someONE. I found two newbies downstairs, tampering with some stuff. I think something's about to happen. Something big... Anything big going down here today?
Meka Dragon - Just the usual, a shipment of hairspray for AfroJoe, a shipment of porn for Goatboy, ten new cars for Tony... oh, and Lord H is being flown in from Germany
Mr Snuggly - What?!
Meka Dragon - Yeah, that's what I said, Tony has enough cars already
Mr Snuggly - No, about Lord H! I'd completely forgotten, he's being brought back to SR for a hearing about his evilness on the forums... DW!
Hercules - Bless you
Mr Snuggly - No, DW! DW is here, at this airport, I saw him before! He must be planning to free Lord H, THAT'S why they're taking over the airport!
Hercules - That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
*The speakers come on*
DW - Heathrow tower, this is DW. We've taken control of your airport so we can free Lord H
*Mr Snuggly looks smug*
Hercules - Well... it's still pretty stupid
DW - We, and only we, have the power to land the planes. You will not tell anyone, not the police, not the army, not the traffic wardens. Nobody is to know what's going on. If you don't comply, we WILL be forced to play Julia Roberts films as the in-flight movie on the planes
Meka Dragon - You heartless monster!
DW - Lord H's plane is due in three hours. When it nears, I will give you more instructions. DW out
*The speakers turn off. SHEEPY comes running up*
SHEEPY - I got you your coffee, sir
Meka Dragon - Did you put buggers in it?
Mr Snuggly - Stop with the Kevin Smith references! What's he doing here?
SHEEPY - I'm here on work experience!
Mr Snuggly - Right... don't they have airports in Scotland?
Meka Dragon - We need to do something!
SHEEPY - How about the big dish outside, we could hook that up and broadcast to the planes that way
Meka Dragon - You're after my job, aren't you?
Mr Snuggly - Actually, that's a good idea...
Hercules - Too bad you won't be around to see it, get out of here! No civilians are allowed in here!
*Hercules starts to push Snuggly out*
Mr Snuggly - Meka Dragon! Hey, tell him! You need me!
Meka Dragon - Sorry...
Mr Snuggly - After all those GADs... this is how you repay me?
*Mr Snuggly is thrown out*
Hercules - Right, SHEEPY, I want you to go down to the dish with my SWAT team, they'll cover you
SHEEPY - Do I get a gun?
Hercules - No
SHEEPY - Aww
*Scene 4*
*Snuggly is back in the main area of the airport, looking worried*
Mr Snuggly - I've got to do something! If schroeder's plane crashes, I'll be stuck here! Only she has the key to her flat!
*He spots a ventilation shaft*
Mr Snuggly - They put these EVERYWHERE, don't they?
*He runs up and pulls the cover off*
Mr Snuggly - Well, it worked last time
*He crawls in*
Mr Snuggly - Argh! A rat!
*Scene 5*
*SHEEPY is leading a rock hard, crack team of SWAT officers down a long, narrow corridor. There's a group of painters and decorators at the end*
SWAT #1 - Stand still, you have a spider in your hair
SWAT #2 - *shrieks* Argh! Get it out, get it out!
SWAT #3 - Ooooh, it's cold in here
*He shouts to the decorators*
SWAT #1 - Excuse me? Could you put the heating on down there? Excuse me? Hello?
SWAT #2 - How rude!
*They reach the men at the end of the corridor*
SWAT #1 - Hey, what do I look like to you?
Smoothtarget - A camp security guard!
*The newbie pulls a gun and shoots the SWAT member. The other newbies all produce guns and start shooting. The SWAT team get cut to pieces. SHEEPY cowers behind a dead body. Smoothtarget walks up, loads his gun and aims at SHEEPY's head*
Smoothtarget - Stoo-pad notable
*A piece of grating falls down and lands on the newbie. Snuggly drops down and lands on the floor by SHEEPY*
Mr Snuggly - Ow! I twisted my ankle! I mean, um... I am here to chew bubblegum and kick butt. And somebody stole my bubblegum
*The newbie throws the ventilation cover to the floor and starts shooting at Snuggly. Snuggly pulls out his gun and shoots back. Smoothtarget gets hit and drops to his knees. The other newbies start shooting at Snuggly*
Mr Snuggly - (shooting at them) Take this! And that! You want some too? Have some!
*Snuggly runs out of ammo*
Mr Snuggly - Uh oh!
*A newbie starts walking towards him, loading his gun*
Silversurfer - This'll learn you not to give me the GAD
*He aims at Snuggly, just as SHEEPY throws a gun at him. The gun hits the newbie in the head. He drops to the floor*
Mr Snuggly - Good shot!
SHEEPY - Actually, I meant to throw the gun to you... Anyway, we need to get to the dish!
*They both get up, and are soon sent back to the floor by a huge explosion. The dish outside is obliterated*
SHEEPY - Oh no!
Mr Snuggly - I knew this was a trap! My horoscope told me!
*Scene 6*
*DW and the newbies are sat in the room*
kayaker007 - Sir, just as you guessed, they tried to get to the dish
DW - Blowing up the dish and losing Eastenders wasn't part of the plan!
*He picks up a walkie talkie. His voice comes on at the tower in Heathrow*
DW - Tower, come in tower. You were told not to try any funny business. As punishment, I will now fulfil my threat
*Meka Dragon looks at Hercules*
Meka Dragon - Oh no!
*DW talks to one of the planes*
DW - Flight 222, this is Heathrow tower. Sorry we haven't been in touch, a monkey got into the machines. Flight 222, you are ordered to play Runaway Bride
Pilot - Um... are you sure? What have the passengers does to deserve this?
DW - Do it, fly boy
Pilot - Alright...
DW - And put it on loop
*They hear the screams of the passengers as the Julia Roberts film comes on*
Meka Dragon - That evil piece of slime! How can he do that?
*Outside*
Mr Snuggly - Why are they listening to him?!
SHEEPY - It's our frequency, why shouldn't they listen to him?
Mr Snuggly - I've got to do something!
SHEEPY - It's too late, the film is playing!
Mr Snuggly - Nooooooooo!
*Scene 7*
*In the control tower*
Meka Dragon - Those poor passengers...
Hercules - How can this be happening?
*Mr Snuggly walks in*
Mr Snuggly - Because of idiots like you! From now on, I suggest you two listen to ME!
Meka Dragon - Agreed. What you got on your mind?
Mr Snuggly - Well, right now, I'm trying to remember where I left my car keys, but other than that, I say we wait for Lord H to land, then I go and snag him before DW and his newbie cronies get there
Meka Dragon - Agreed
*The speakers come on*
DW - Gentlemen, you have seen how far I am willing to go. Lord H's plane is almost here. We are about to light up one runway. Do not, repeat do NOT, try to land a plane on it. It's reserved for Lord H. When he lands, no vehicles must approach the plane. I have spoken
*The speakers turn off*
Meka Dragon - It's been three hours already? That was quick... Anyway, he said no vehicles, he didn't say no SR staff members
Mr Snuggly - Yep, I'll just get out there and... Wait, no vehicles? That means I've gotta walk there in the freezing cold!
*Scene 8*
*Outside on the runway, the transport plane lands. Lord H emerges from the door, wiping the blood of the pilots onto his clothes*
Lord H - Ah, freedom
*Mr Snuggly cracks him one*
Mr Snuggly - Not yet, monkey man
Lord H - Ow! You broke my nose! Who are you?
Mr Snuggly - The guy who banned you
Lord H - Snuggly? I'll have my revenge!
*He lunges at Snuggly, who cracks him again*
Lord H - Hey, stop that! It really hurts!
*Snuggly sees a group of men running towards them. He pushes Lord H back into the plane, shoots one of the newbies, gets in and closes the door*
Mr Snuggly - Why are the newbies helping you? You hate newbies
Lord H - True, but they're stupid enough to do as I say. DW soon got enough of them together so we could pull this off
Mr Snuggly - You're not gonna be doing any pulling tonight... well, except maybe in the privacy of your bedroom. Now that I've got you, I'm gonna trade you for schroeder's life
*The newbies outside start shooting at the plane*
DW - Stop it you fools, you'll hit Lord H!
Muzic_Man - Who?
DW - Idiots! Total idiots! (he shouts) Snuggly? I assume it's you Snuggly! We're coming in!
*The newbies run into the plane and shoot the place up. Snuggly dives into the cockpit. They take Lord H out*
DW - Get him back to the base!
Muzic_Man - What base?
*DW slaps his head in despair*
DW - Snuggly? We're gonna throw some grenades in, just thought I'd let you know! You, throw your grenades in
hellokitty119 - Yes, sir!
*The newbie throws his grenades into the cockpit window. DW smiles, and runs off with the group. Inside the plane, the grenades spill into the cockpit. Snuggly looks terrified*
Mr Snuggly - Looks like this is it! Well, I've led a rich and full life... Sort of... would've been much better if I didn't have people shouting at me from cars all the time...
*He closes his eyes and waits. Nothing happens. He opens his eyes and looks at the grenades*
Mr Snuggly - Stupid newbie forgot to pull the pins out! Ha!
*Scene 9*
*Mr Snuggly runs into the control tower*
Mr Snuggly - They got away, but I managed to cap one of them. That's five I've put down so far
Hercules - Well, that's all very well and nice, but what if they're recruiting from the Sony forum? There could be a THOUSAND newbies!
*DW's voice comes on*
DW - This... is God... Ha ha, fooled you, it's me again. I want a fully fuelled jet plane waiting for us in hangar 57. I don't want any security guards there. Understood?
*The speakers turn off*
Meka Dragon - Make it so... Hey, I always wanted to say that
SHEEPY - Wait, Snuggly, you said they showed up right away? That means their base must be close by... why don't you go look for it?
Mr Snuggly - Good idea, but you're coming with me
SHEEPY - Me? What for?
Mr Snuggly - Might need a human shield...
*Scene 10*
*Snuggly and SHEEPY are outside a small building*
Mr Snuggly - This must be the place
SHEEPY - What makes you say that?
Mr Snuggly - The big "Secret Hideout" sign over there. You call Hercules, tell him to get down here, I'm gonna go in one man army style and see what I can do
SHEEPY - Good luck
Mr Snuggly - Pft. Luck is for losers. I have skill!
*Snuggly runs up to the building, sneaking around*
Mr Snuggly - All those years playing Metal Gear Solid will finally come in handy!
*He hears the click of a gun*
Muzic_Man - Freeze
Mr Snuggly - Or maybe not...
*Snuggly is taken inside*
DW - Ah, Mr Snuggly, so glad you could join us... Oh, wait, no I'm not! What the heck are you doing here?
Muzic_Man - Me find him outside
DW - Good work, here, have a cookie
Mr Snuggly - You'll never get away with this. A strike team of rock hard soldiers are on their way right now. They're going to storm this building through the roof, killing you and your men instantly in one single blow. They're the best of the best, the elite, the uber.
*Back at the airport, Hercules and his men are getting ready*
Hercules - Now where did I leave my gun...?
*Back in the building*
DW - We'd better get moving, we can't risk being found here
Muzic_Man - OK, boss. What me do with he?
DW - Kill him
*Muzic_Man raises his gun to Snuggly's head, just as the windows smash open and airport security run in, shooting at everyone. Snuggly pulls Muzic_Man in front of him and uses him as a human shield. DW and the newbies shoot back for a bit, before running outside*
DW - Lord H, come with me!
*They jump onto a dog drawn sleigh and cruise off into the night. Snuggly runs after them*
Mr Snuggly - (out of breath) Screw this!
*He stops, then walks back to the building*
Hercules - They got away!
Mr Snuggly - They'll be going to the plane in the hangar, how far away is it?
SHEEPY - Just down that road, back towards the airport
Mr Snuggly - Come on, what are we waiting for?
Hercules - A thank you for saving your life...
*Scene 11*
*Snuggly is riding in a car with SHEEPY, Hercules and some of the security guards*
Mr Snuggly - There they are, they're getting in the plane! Drive faster!
Hercules - I can't, the road's too icy! In fact, I'm not even old enough to drive! What the hell am I doing at the wheel?
Mr Snuggly - Watch out for that cow!
*Bang*
Mr Snuggly - Looks like we're having beef for breakfast tomorrow...
*The car pulls up outside the hangar*
Mr Snuggly - SHEEPY, you stay here, block the runway with the car if they try to take off. You guys, come with me
Hercules - OK
RM18 - You got it
*The guards and Snuggly sneak into the hangar. The newbies are packing things inside the plane. DW and Lord H are talking to each other*
Mr Snuggly - OK, I'll crawl up to them and grab Lord H. RM18, you flank them, in case they make a run for it. Hercules, what you gonna do?
Hercules - Grass you up
Mr Snuggly - Excuse me?
Hercules - (shouting) He's over here!
*Newbies run up and take Snuggly by the arms. RM18 starts laughing*
Mr Snuggly - Hercules, you're double crossing me?
Hercules - Yep
Mr Snuggly - Again?!
Hercules - You really are far too trusting! If I was a badguy in the original, why would I help you in the sequel?
Mr Snuggly - But the shoot out... you guys were killing each other!
Hercules - We were using water pistols! Except on Muzic_Man, we did actually kill him, he was too stupid
Mr Snuggly - RM18? Why are YOU helping Lord H? You hate him!
RM18 - I'm helping Lord H? This isn't Hybrid's surprise party?
DW - Get in the plane
*A bunch of airport security guards run in and start getting in the plane with the newbies, Lord H and DW*
DW - Kill him
*Hercules lifts his gun and is about to fire when SHEEPY comes crashing in, narrowly missing the plane*
Hercules - Hey, watch it! I just finished paying for that car! Wait... it's not even mine!
*SHEEPY reverses and runs Hercules over. He gets out*
SHEEPY - Oops, I just meant to bang into his leg...
Mr Snuggly - I've got to get onto that plane!
*The plane starts taxiing out of the hangar and onto the runway*
SHEEPY - Quick, um... Grab hold of the tail!
Mr Snuggly - I'll never catch that thing!
SHEEPY - Get in the car, we'll drive after it. If you perform an amazingly daring stunt, you might just be able to get onto the wing!
*One amazingly daring stunt later, Snuggly is on the wing of the plane. He sees a control panel*
Mr Snuggly - There must be a stop button here somewhere...
*He hits one*
Mr Snuggly - Nope, not that one... Ah, here we go "Self destruct"
*He presses it. Text flashes up saying "Did you really expect this to work?" Snuggly looks angry*
Mr Snuggly - Grr! Stupid smug planes! I know, I'll think back to the advice Mystique gave me once...
Mystique's Voice In His Head - If you're ever on the side of a plane... get off
Mr Snuggly - Great, thanks a lot, Mystique (!)
*The plan is gathering speed. The door opens and DW climbs out*
DW - You again! Why won't you leave me alone?!
Mr Snuggly - Because you're the villain, it's my job to constantly pester you!
DW - Well your pestering days are over! Prepare to die! (pause) Oops, forgot my gun... and my knife... Looks like we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way
*DW charges at him. Snuggly side steps him and he flies over the side of the wing*
*Inside the plane, Lord H is at the controls*
Lord H - What the heck? We're off balanced! Is there a fat guy sitting on the left side of the plane?
*Back outside, in the blistering cold, DW is hanging on the tip of the wing by his coat. Snuggly walks up*
DW - Curse you, Mr Snuggly, curse you to heck!
*Snuggly looks at the buttons on the control panel. One says "Dump Badguy." He presses it*
DW - Noooooo! Save me Kurt Cobain!
*DW falls into the jet engine, splashing blood everywhere, leaving a trail of it on the snow*
Mr Snuggly - Eww... That's even worse than Stryke's death in the first one... Anyway, now to finish off the plane!
*Snuggly opens the door and tosses the newbie's grenades from before inside*
Lord H - Grr, killed by a newbie's stupidity... Great, just great (!)
*Snuggly dives off just as the plane explodes. He lands on the runway*
Mr Snuggly - There's your landing lights, the trail of blood!
*Planes start landing on the runway, following the huge line of blood left by DW*
Mr Snuggly - Yay! I did it! I'm a hero... again!
*schroeder gets out of her plane and runs into Snuggly's arms*
Mr Snuggly - Hey, baby. I'm, like... pretty tall
schroeder - Oh, Snuggly, you saved us all... now get yourself down to B&Q and buy that paint I wanted for my room
*The End*
*Heathrow Airport, somewhere in England*
*Snuggly is sat inside, drinking a beer, looking bored. He sees DW walk past*
Mr Snuggly - Hey... you're DW from the forums!
DW - (hurried) Why, yes, I am. Excuse me, I must go
*DW walks off, Snuggly sits back down*
Mr Snuggly - Rude son of a-
*The speaker system comes on*
Speaker - Flight 219 from Nottingham has been delayed due to the weather
Mr Snuggly - Great (!)
*His mobile phone rings, he pulls it out and answers*
Mr Snuggly - Yellow?
loki - Hey, Snuggers, it's me
Mr Snuggly - Mum?
loki - No, loki!
Mr Snuggly - Oh, right. What's up?
loki - Just wondering if you fancied coming over for a pint
Mr Snuggly - Sorry, I can't. I'm stuck at the airport, waiting for schroeder
loki - Oh aye? Getting yourself in with her, eh?
Mr Snuggly - I'm helping her decorate her spare room
loki - (disappointed) Oh... Ah well, have fun! I'm off to get lashed and tie a goat to a lamp post
Mr Snuggly - OK, ta ra
*He puts his phone away, and spots two newbies hanging around a door. They kick the door in and run inside. Snuggly gets up to investigate*
Rakuga - Hey! You're Mr Snuggly! You saved SR towers last Christmas!
Mr Snuggly - Yeah, I did, excuse me...
*Mr Snuggly walks off to the door*
Rakuga - Rude son of a-
*Mr Snuggly has a look inside the room, and goes in. The room is full of luggage, and Snuggly spots two people in the corner, fiddling with something*
Mr Snuggly - Hey, you, does your mother know you do that?
Bobbybobbob - What? Who the heck are you?
*They turn around and Snuggly sees they have tools in their hands*
Mr Snuggly - Oh, sorry, thought you were doing something else... I'll be off...
*Just as he turns to leave, the two newbies pull out guns and start firing*
Mr Snuggly - Not again!
*Snuggly dives behind a huge suitcase marked "AfroJoe's Afro Wigs" and hides from the onslaught of bullets. They stop firing*
Bobbybobbob - Go around!
Crack Up Lad - OK!
*Crack Up Lad starts to circle the room, until he comes up on where Snuggly is hidden. Except he's not there*
Crack Up Lad - WTF?!
*Snuggly jumps on him from behind and starts battering him with a golf club*
Crack Up Lad - Ow! Stop that! It's really, REALLY painful!
*The newbie drops to the floor, just as Bobbybobbob starts firing again. Snuggly ducks and starts rummaging around in Crack Up Lad's pants, looking for a gun*
Mr Snuggly - Aha, found it- Eeeeeeeew!
*He checks the other pocket*
Mr Snuggly - This better be what I think it is...
*He pulls the gun out of the pocket and starts shooting back at the newbie. After hitting just about every suitcase in the room, he finally hits Bobbybobbob, who lands in a pile of hairspray cans, marked "Property Of AfroJoe" Snuggly leaves the room and runs up to the nearest desk*
Mr Snuggly - Quick, call the police, there was just a shootout in that room over there!
Receptionist - I'm sorry, all the lines are out because of the storm. I can call the head of airport security though, he's in the building
Mr Snuggly - Do it, I'll just wait over there... by the bar
*Mr Snuggly has a pint, someone comes up and taps him on the shoulder*
Hercules - Hercules, head of airport security, what seems to be the trouble?
Mr Snuggly - Hercules!? I thought you were dead?!
Hercules - No, no, just mortally wounded
Mr Snuggly - You tried to kill me!
Hercules - I've had anger management courses
Mr Snuggly - Oh... well, alright then. I was involved in a shootout in that room over there!
Hercules - Been shooting forum users again? Trying to cut down on the number of GAD entries or something?
Mr Snuggly - How do you know they're forum users?
Hercules - We sent their fingerprints to SR. I had a feeling I recognised them, and Brad told us they were forum users.
Mr Snuggly - Hmm... strange. What were they doing in there?
Hercules - Stealing luggage
Mr Snuggly - They were doing more than stealing luggage! They had tools, and guns!
Hercules - Look, I can spend all week filling in paperwork, getting evidence, coming up with theories... or, I can just put "stealing luggage" and go home early.
Mr Snuggly - Lazy motherfunner
Hercules - What?! Don't make me throw you out! Just because I have no staff powers doesn't mean I don't have any power here! I can have you escorted out... in a pink tutu!
*Mr Snuggly grumbles something and walks off*
*Scene 2*
*Some lights are switched on, illuminating a small room full of computers*
DW - Get to work
*A group of newbies sit at the desks and start typing*
DW - Not spamming! I meant our job!
hellokitty119 - Oh, right
*One of the newbies pulls out some pliers and starts cutting wires*
DW - Hurry it up, I'm missing the Eastenders Christmas special
*Scene 3*
*Back at the airport, Snuggly is having a drink at the bar. The lights suddenly go off*
Mr Snuggly - What the-? I just spilled my pint!
*Upstairs, in the control room, Meka Dragon is looking worried*
Meka Dragon - What do you mean we've lost power?! We have 30 planes up there!
Controller - Sorry, sir, everything's gone dead!
Meka Dragon - This better not be another fault with those NTL muppets!
*Mr Snuggly walks in*
Mr Snuggly - What's going on?
Hercules - Hey, no civilians allowed in here!
Meka Dragon - Who are you?
Mr Snuggly - Snuggly... Mr Snuggly, licensed to pick GADs
Meka Dragon - Meka Dragon, chief of this airport, I believe you already know our head of security, Hercules
Mr Snuggly - Yeah, I've had the mis-pleasure...
Meka Dragon - Well, Snuggly, something has caused us to lose power. We can't communicate with the planes about to land here, and the runway lights are down, meaning they can't land. We can't send them away because they don't have enough fuel to make it to the next airport...
Mr Snuggly - Something to do with those idiots down at NTL?
Meka Dragon - We don't think so...
Mr Snuggly - Well then it's not something, it's someONE. I found two newbies downstairs, tampering with some stuff. I think something's about to happen. Something big... Anything big going down here today?
Meka Dragon - Just the usual, a shipment of hairspray for AfroJoe, a shipment of porn for Goatboy, ten new cars for Tony... oh, and Lord H is being flown in from Germany
Mr Snuggly - What?!
Meka Dragon - Yeah, that's what I said, Tony has enough cars already
Mr Snuggly - No, about Lord H! I'd completely forgotten, he's being brought back to SR for a hearing about his evilness on the forums... DW!
Hercules - Bless you
Mr Snuggly - No, DW! DW is here, at this airport, I saw him before! He must be planning to free Lord H, THAT'S why they're taking over the airport!
Hercules - That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
*The speakers come on*
DW - Heathrow tower, this is DW. We've taken control of your airport so we can free Lord H
*Mr Snuggly looks smug*
Hercules - Well... it's still pretty stupid
DW - We, and only we, have the power to land the planes. You will not tell anyone, not the police, not the army, not the traffic wardens. Nobody is to know what's going on. If you don't comply, we WILL be forced to play Julia Roberts films as the in-flight movie on the planes
Meka Dragon - You heartless monster!
DW - Lord H's plane is due in three hours. When it nears, I will give you more instructions. DW out
*The speakers turn off. SHEEPY comes running up*
SHEEPY - I got you your coffee, sir
Meka Dragon - Did you put buggers in it?
Mr Snuggly - Stop with the Kevin Smith references! What's he doing here?
SHEEPY - I'm here on work experience!
Mr Snuggly - Right... don't they have airports in Scotland?
Meka Dragon - We need to do something!
SHEEPY - How about the big dish outside, we could hook that up and broadcast to the planes that way
Meka Dragon - You're after my job, aren't you?
Mr Snuggly - Actually, that's a good idea...
Hercules - Too bad you won't be around to see it, get out of here! No civilians are allowed in here!
*Hercules starts to push Snuggly out*
Mr Snuggly - Meka Dragon! Hey, tell him! You need me!
Meka Dragon - Sorry...
Mr Snuggly - After all those GADs... this is how you repay me?
*Mr Snuggly is thrown out*
Hercules - Right, SHEEPY, I want you to go down to the dish with my SWAT team, they'll cover you
SHEEPY - Do I get a gun?
Hercules - No
SHEEPY - Aww
*Scene 4*
*Snuggly is back in the main area of the airport, looking worried*
Mr Snuggly - I've got to do something! If schroeder's plane crashes, I'll be stuck here! Only she has the key to her flat!
*He spots a ventilation shaft*
Mr Snuggly - They put these EVERYWHERE, don't they?
*He runs up and pulls the cover off*
Mr Snuggly - Well, it worked last time
*He crawls in*
Mr Snuggly - Argh! A rat!
*Scene 5*
*SHEEPY is leading a rock hard, crack team of SWAT officers down a long, narrow corridor. There's a group of painters and decorators at the end*
SWAT #1 - Stand still, you have a spider in your hair
SWAT #2 - *shrieks* Argh! Get it out, get it out!
SWAT #3 - Ooooh, it's cold in here
*He shouts to the decorators*
SWAT #1 - Excuse me? Could you put the heating on down there? Excuse me? Hello?
SWAT #2 - How rude!
*They reach the men at the end of the corridor*
SWAT #1 - Hey, what do I look like to you?
Smoothtarget - A camp security guard!
*The newbie pulls a gun and shoots the SWAT member. The other newbies all produce guns and start shooting. The SWAT team get cut to pieces. SHEEPY cowers behind a dead body. Smoothtarget walks up, loads his gun and aims at SHEEPY's head*
Smoothtarget - Stoo-pad notable
*A piece of grating falls down and lands on the newbie. Snuggly drops down and lands on the floor by SHEEPY*
Mr Snuggly - Ow! I twisted my ankle! I mean, um... I am here to chew bubblegum and kick butt. And somebody stole my bubblegum
*The newbie throws the ventilation cover to the floor and starts shooting at Snuggly. Snuggly pulls out his gun and shoots back. Smoothtarget gets hit and drops to his knees. The other newbies start shooting at Snuggly*
Mr Snuggly - (shooting at them) Take this! And that! You want some too? Have some!
*Snuggly runs out of ammo*
Mr Snuggly - Uh oh!
*A newbie starts walking towards him, loading his gun*
Silversurfer - This'll learn you not to give me the GAD
*He aims at Snuggly, just as SHEEPY throws a gun at him. The gun hits the newbie in the head. He drops to the floor*
Mr Snuggly - Good shot!
SHEEPY - Actually, I meant to throw the gun to you... Anyway, we need to get to the dish!
*They both get up, and are soon sent back to the floor by a huge explosion. The dish outside is obliterated*
SHEEPY - Oh no!
Mr Snuggly - I knew this was a trap! My horoscope told me!
*Scene 6*
*DW and the newbies are sat in the room*
kayaker007 - Sir, just as you guessed, they tried to get to the dish
DW - Blowing up the dish and losing Eastenders wasn't part of the plan!
*He picks up a walkie talkie. His voice comes on at the tower in Heathrow*
DW - Tower, come in tower. You were told not to try any funny business. As punishment, I will now fulfil my threat
*Meka Dragon looks at Hercules*
Meka Dragon - Oh no!
*DW talks to one of the planes*
DW - Flight 222, this is Heathrow tower. Sorry we haven't been in touch, a monkey got into the machines. Flight 222, you are ordered to play Runaway Bride
Pilot - Um... are you sure? What have the passengers does to deserve this?
DW - Do it, fly boy
Pilot - Alright...
DW - And put it on loop
*They hear the screams of the passengers as the Julia Roberts film comes on*
Meka Dragon - That evil piece of slime! How can he do that?
*Outside*
Mr Snuggly - Why are they listening to him?!
SHEEPY - It's our frequency, why shouldn't they listen to him?
Mr Snuggly - I've got to do something!
SHEEPY - It's too late, the film is playing!
Mr Snuggly - Nooooooooo!
*Scene 7*
*In the control tower*
Meka Dragon - Those poor passengers...
Hercules - How can this be happening?
*Mr Snuggly walks in*
Mr Snuggly - Because of idiots like you! From now on, I suggest you two listen to ME!
Meka Dragon - Agreed. What you got on your mind?
Mr Snuggly - Well, right now, I'm trying to remember where I left my car keys, but other than that, I say we wait for Lord H to land, then I go and snag him before DW and his newbie cronies get there
Meka Dragon - Agreed
*The speakers come on*
DW - Gentlemen, you have seen how far I am willing to go. Lord H's plane is almost here. We are about to light up one runway. Do not, repeat do NOT, try to land a plane on it. It's reserved for Lord H. When he lands, no vehicles must approach the plane. I have spoken
*The speakers turn off*
Meka Dragon - It's been three hours already? That was quick... Anyway, he said no vehicles, he didn't say no SR staff members
Mr Snuggly - Yep, I'll just get out there and... Wait, no vehicles? That means I've gotta walk there in the freezing cold!
*Scene 8*
*Outside on the runway, the transport plane lands. Lord H emerges from the door, wiping the blood of the pilots onto his clothes*
Lord H - Ah, freedom
*Mr Snuggly cracks him one*
Mr Snuggly - Not yet, monkey man
Lord H - Ow! You broke my nose! Who are you?
Mr Snuggly - The guy who banned you
Lord H - Snuggly? I'll have my revenge!
*He lunges at Snuggly, who cracks him again*
Lord H - Hey, stop that! It really hurts!
*Snuggly sees a group of men running towards them. He pushes Lord H back into the plane, shoots one of the newbies, gets in and closes the door*
Mr Snuggly - Why are the newbies helping you? You hate newbies
Lord H - True, but they're stupid enough to do as I say. DW soon got enough of them together so we could pull this off
Mr Snuggly - You're not gonna be doing any pulling tonight... well, except maybe in the privacy of your bedroom. Now that I've got you, I'm gonna trade you for schroeder's life
*The newbies outside start shooting at the plane*
DW - Stop it you fools, you'll hit Lord H!
Muzic_Man - Who?
DW - Idiots! Total idiots! (he shouts) Snuggly? I assume it's you Snuggly! We're coming in!
*The newbies run into the plane and shoot the place up. Snuggly dives into the cockpit. They take Lord H out*
DW - Get him back to the base!
Muzic_Man - What base?
*DW slaps his head in despair*
DW - Snuggly? We're gonna throw some grenades in, just thought I'd let you know! You, throw your grenades in
hellokitty119 - Yes, sir!
*The newbie throws his grenades into the cockpit window. DW smiles, and runs off with the group. Inside the plane, the grenades spill into the cockpit. Snuggly looks terrified*
Mr Snuggly - Looks like this is it! Well, I've led a rich and full life... Sort of... would've been much better if I didn't have people shouting at me from cars all the time...
*He closes his eyes and waits. Nothing happens. He opens his eyes and looks at the grenades*
Mr Snuggly - Stupid newbie forgot to pull the pins out! Ha!
*Scene 9*
*Mr Snuggly runs into the control tower*
Mr Snuggly - They got away, but I managed to cap one of them. That's five I've put down so far
Hercules - Well, that's all very well and nice, but what if they're recruiting from the Sony forum? There could be a THOUSAND newbies!
*DW's voice comes on*
DW - This... is God... Ha ha, fooled you, it's me again. I want a fully fuelled jet plane waiting for us in hangar 57. I don't want any security guards there. Understood?
*The speakers turn off*
Meka Dragon - Make it so... Hey, I always wanted to say that
SHEEPY - Wait, Snuggly, you said they showed up right away? That means their base must be close by... why don't you go look for it?
Mr Snuggly - Good idea, but you're coming with me
SHEEPY - Me? What for?
Mr Snuggly - Might need a human shield...
*Scene 10*
*Snuggly and SHEEPY are outside a small building*
Mr Snuggly - This must be the place
SHEEPY - What makes you say that?
Mr Snuggly - The big "Secret Hideout" sign over there. You call Hercules, tell him to get down here, I'm gonna go in one man army style and see what I can do
SHEEPY - Good luck
Mr Snuggly - Pft. Luck is for losers. I have skill!
*Snuggly runs up to the building, sneaking around*
Mr Snuggly - All those years playing Metal Gear Solid will finally come in handy!
*He hears the click of a gun*
Muzic_Man - Freeze
Mr Snuggly - Or maybe not...
*Snuggly is taken inside*
DW - Ah, Mr Snuggly, so glad you could join us... Oh, wait, no I'm not! What the heck are you doing here?
Muzic_Man - Me find him outside
DW - Good work, here, have a cookie
Mr Snuggly - You'll never get away with this. A strike team of rock hard soldiers are on their way right now. They're going to storm this building through the roof, killing you and your men instantly in one single blow. They're the best of the best, the elite, the uber.
*Back at the airport, Hercules and his men are getting ready*
Hercules - Now where did I leave my gun...?
*Back in the building*
DW - We'd better get moving, we can't risk being found here
Muzic_Man - OK, boss. What me do with he?
DW - Kill him
*Muzic_Man raises his gun to Snuggly's head, just as the windows smash open and airport security run in, shooting at everyone. Snuggly pulls Muzic_Man in front of him and uses him as a human shield. DW and the newbies shoot back for a bit, before running outside*
DW - Lord H, come with me!
*They jump onto a dog drawn sleigh and cruise off into the night. Snuggly runs after them*
Mr Snuggly - (out of breath) Screw this!
*He stops, then walks back to the building*
Hercules - They got away!
Mr Snuggly - They'll be going to the plane in the hangar, how far away is it?
SHEEPY - Just down that road, back towards the airport
Mr Snuggly - Come on, what are we waiting for?
Hercules - A thank you for saving your life...
*Scene 11*
*Snuggly is riding in a car with SHEEPY, Hercules and some of the security guards*
Mr Snuggly - There they are, they're getting in the plane! Drive faster!
Hercules - I can't, the road's too icy! In fact, I'm not even old enough to drive! What the hell am I doing at the wheel?
Mr Snuggly - Watch out for that cow!
*Bang*
Mr Snuggly - Looks like we're having beef for breakfast tomorrow...
*The car pulls up outside the hangar*
Mr Snuggly - SHEEPY, you stay here, block the runway with the car if they try to take off. You guys, come with me
Hercules - OK
RM18 - You got it
*The guards and Snuggly sneak into the hangar. The newbies are packing things inside the plane. DW and Lord H are talking to each other*
Mr Snuggly - OK, I'll crawl up to them and grab Lord H. RM18, you flank them, in case they make a run for it. Hercules, what you gonna do?
Hercules - Grass you up
Mr Snuggly - Excuse me?
Hercules - (shouting) He's over here!
*Newbies run up and take Snuggly by the arms. RM18 starts laughing*
Mr Snuggly - Hercules, you're double crossing me?
Hercules - Yep
Mr Snuggly - Again?!
Hercules - You really are far too trusting! If I was a badguy in the original, why would I help you in the sequel?
Mr Snuggly - But the shoot out... you guys were killing each other!
Hercules - We were using water pistols! Except on Muzic_Man, we did actually kill him, he was too stupid
Mr Snuggly - RM18? Why are YOU helping Lord H? You hate him!
RM18 - I'm helping Lord H? This isn't Hybrid's surprise party?
DW - Get in the plane
*A bunch of airport security guards run in and start getting in the plane with the newbies, Lord H and DW*
DW - Kill him
*Hercules lifts his gun and is about to fire when SHEEPY comes crashing in, narrowly missing the plane*
Hercules - Hey, watch it! I just finished paying for that car! Wait... it's not even mine!
*SHEEPY reverses and runs Hercules over. He gets out*
SHEEPY - Oops, I just meant to bang into his leg...
Mr Snuggly - I've got to get onto that plane!
*The plane starts taxiing out of the hangar and onto the runway*
SHEEPY - Quick, um... Grab hold of the tail!
Mr Snuggly - I'll never catch that thing!
SHEEPY - Get in the car, we'll drive after it. If you perform an amazingly daring stunt, you might just be able to get onto the wing!
*One amazingly daring stunt later, Snuggly is on the wing of the plane. He sees a control panel*
Mr Snuggly - There must be a stop button here somewhere...
*He hits one*
Mr Snuggly - Nope, not that one... Ah, here we go "Self destruct"
*He presses it. Text flashes up saying "Did you really expect this to work?" Snuggly looks angry*
Mr Snuggly - Grr! Stupid smug planes! I know, I'll think back to the advice Mystique gave me once...
Mystique's Voice In His Head - If you're ever on the side of a plane... get off
Mr Snuggly - Great, thanks a lot, Mystique (!)
*The plan is gathering speed. The door opens and DW climbs out*
DW - You again! Why won't you leave me alone?!
Mr Snuggly - Because you're the villain, it's my job to constantly pester you!
DW - Well your pestering days are over! Prepare to die! (pause) Oops, forgot my gun... and my knife... Looks like we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way
*DW charges at him. Snuggly side steps him and he flies over the side of the wing*
*Inside the plane, Lord H is at the controls*
Lord H - What the heck? We're off balanced! Is there a fat guy sitting on the left side of the plane?
*Back outside, in the blistering cold, DW is hanging on the tip of the wing by his coat. Snuggly walks up*
DW - Curse you, Mr Snuggly, curse you to heck!
*Snuggly looks at the buttons on the control panel. One says "Dump Badguy." He presses it*
DW - Noooooo! Save me Kurt Cobain!
*DW falls into the jet engine, splashing blood everywhere, leaving a trail of it on the snow*
Mr Snuggly - Eww... That's even worse than Stryke's death in the first one... Anyway, now to finish off the plane!
*Snuggly opens the door and tosses the newbie's grenades from before inside*
Lord H - Grr, killed by a newbie's stupidity... Great, just great (!)
*Snuggly dives off just as the plane explodes. He lands on the runway*
Mr Snuggly - There's your landing lights, the trail of blood!
*Planes start landing on the runway, following the huge line of blood left by DW*
Mr Snuggly - Yay! I did it! I'm a hero... again!
*schroeder gets out of her plane and runs into Snuggly's arms*
Mr Snuggly - Hey, baby. I'm, like... pretty tall
schroeder - Oh, Snuggly, you saved us all... now get yourself down to B&Q and buy that paint I wanted for my room
*The End*
Page:
What about "Spam hard with a vengance"?
Anyway Brilliant post.
Anyway Brilliant post.
This would make a great movie. Congrats on le GAD..
Glad to know you enjoy them
Outstanding post MoJoJoJo, well done, keep them coming because i enjoy reading them. :)
Muah. Brilliant. Again.
*Scene 1*
*Heathrow Airport, somewhere in England*
*Snuggly is sat inside, drinking a beer, looking bored. He sees DW walk past*
Mr Snuggly - Hey... you're DW from the forums!
DW - (hurried) Why, yes, I am. Excuse me, I must go
*DW walks off, Snuggly sits back down*
Mr Snuggly - Rude son of a-
*The speaker system comes on*
Speaker - Flight 219 from Nottingham has been delayed due to the weather
Mr Snuggly - Great (!)
*His mobile phone rings, he pulls it out and answers*
Mr Snuggly - Yellow?
loki - Hey, Snuggers, it's me
Mr Snuggly - Mum?
loki - No, loki!
Mr Snuggly - Oh, right. What's up?
loki - Just wondering if you fancied coming over for a pint
Mr Snuggly - Sorry, I can't. I'm stuck at the airport, waiting for schroeder
loki - Oh aye? Getting yourself in with her, eh?
Mr Snuggly - I'm helping her decorate her spare room
loki - (disappointed) Oh... Ah well, have fun! I'm off to get lashed and tie a goat to a lamp post
Mr Snuggly - OK, ta ra
*He puts his phone away, and spots two newbies hanging around a door. They kick the door in and run inside. Snuggly gets up to investigate*
Rakuga - Hey! You're Mr Snuggly! You saved SR towers last Christmas!
Mr Snuggly - Yeah, I did, excuse me...
*Mr Snuggly walks off to the door*
Rakuga - Rude son of a-
*Mr Snuggly has a look inside the room, and goes in. The room is full of luggage, and Snuggly spots two people in the corner, fiddling with something*
Mr Snuggly - Hey, you, does your mother know you do that?
Bobbybobbob - What? Who the heck are you?
*They turn around and Snuggly sees they have tools in their hands*
Mr Snuggly - Oh, sorry, thought you were doing something else... I'll be off...
*Just as he turns to leave, the two newbies pull out guns and start firing*
Mr Snuggly - Not again!
*Snuggly dives behind a huge suitcase marked "AfroJoe's Afro Wigs" and hides from the onslaught of bullets. They stop firing*
Bobbybobbob - Go around!
Crack Up Lad - OK!
*Crack Up Lad starts to circle the room, until he comes up on where Snuggly is hidden. Except he's not there*
Crack Up Lad - WTF?!
*Snuggly jumps on him from behind and starts battering him with a golf club*
Crack Up Lad - Ow! Stop that! It's really, REALLY painful!
*The newbie drops to the floor, just as Bobbybobbob starts firing again. Snuggly ducks and starts rummaging around in Crack Up Lad's pants, looking for a gun*
Mr Snuggly - Aha, found it- Eeeeeeeew!
*He checks the other pocket*
Mr Snuggly - This better be what I think it is...
*He pulls the gun out of the pocket and starts shooting back at the newbie. After hitting just about every suitcase in the room, he finally hits Bobbybobbob, who lands in a pile of hairspray cans, marked "Property Of AfroJoe" Snuggly leaves the room and runs up to the nearest desk*
Mr Snuggly - Quick, call the police, there was just a shootout in that room over there!
Receptionist - I'm sorry, all the lines are out because of the storm. I can call the head of airport security though, he's in the building
Mr Snuggly - Do it, I'll just wait over there... by the bar
*Mr Snuggly has a pint, someone comes up and taps him on the shoulder*
Hercules - Hercules, head of airport security, what seems to be the trouble?
Mr Snuggly - Hercules!? I thought you were dead?!
Hercules - No, no, just mortally wounded
Mr Snuggly - You tried to kill me!
Hercules - I've had anger management courses
Mr Snuggly - Oh... well, alright then. I was involved in a shootout in that room over there!
Hercules - Been shooting forum users again? Trying to cut down on the number of GAD entries or something?
Mr Snuggly - How do you know they're forum users?
Hercules - We sent their fingerprints to SR. I had a feeling I recognised them, and Brad told us they were forum users.
Mr Snuggly - Hmm... strange. What were they doing in there?
Hercules - Stealing luggage
Mr Snuggly - They were doing more than stealing luggage! They had tools, and guns!
Hercules - Look, I can spend all week filling in paperwork, getting evidence, coming up with theories... or, I can just put "stealing luggage" and go home early.
Mr Snuggly - Lazy motherfunner
Hercules - What?! Don't make me throw you out! Just because I have no staff powers doesn't mean I don't have any power here! I can have you escorted out... in a pink tutu!
*Mr Snuggly grumbles something and walks off*
*Scene 2*
*Some lights are switched on, illuminating a small room full of computers*
DW - Get to work
*A group of newbies sit at the desks and start typing*
DW - Not spamming! I meant our job!
hellokitty119 - Oh, right
*One of the newbies pulls out some pliers and starts cutting wires*
DW - Hurry it up, I'm missing the Eastenders Christmas special
*Scene 3*
*Back at the airport, Snuggly is having a drink at the bar. The lights suddenly go off*
Mr Snuggly - What the-? I just spilled my pint!
*Upstairs, in the control room, Meka Dragon is looking worried*
Meka Dragon - What do you mean we've lost power?! We have 30 planes up there!
Controller - Sorry, sir, everything's gone dead!
Meka Dragon - This better not be another fault with those NTL muppets!
*Mr Snuggly walks in*
Mr Snuggly - What's going on?
Hercules - Hey, no civilians allowed in here!
Meka Dragon - Who are you?
Mr Snuggly - Snuggly... Mr Snuggly, licensed to pick GADs
Meka Dragon - Meka Dragon, chief of this airport, I believe you already know our head of security, Hercules
Mr Snuggly - Yeah, I've had the mis-pleasure...
Meka Dragon - Well, Snuggly, something has caused us to lose power. We can't communicate with the planes about to land here, and the runway lights are down, meaning they can't land. We can't send them away because they don't have enough fuel to make it to the next airport...
Mr Snuggly - Something to do with those idiots down at NTL?
Meka Dragon - We don't think so...
Mr Snuggly - Well then it's not something, it's someONE. I found two newbies downstairs, tampering with some stuff. I think something's about to happen. Something big... Anything big going down here today?
Meka Dragon - Just the usual, a shipment of hairspray for AfroJoe, a shipment of porn for Goatboy, ten new cars for Tony... oh, and Lord H is being flown in from Germany
Mr Snuggly - What?!
Meka Dragon - Yeah, that's what I said, Tony has enough cars already
Mr Snuggly - No, about Lord H! I'd completely forgotten, he's being brought back to SR for a hearing about his evilness on the forums... DW!
Hercules - Bless you
Mr Snuggly - No, DW! DW is here, at this airport, I saw him before! He must be planning to free Lord H, THAT'S why they're taking over the airport!
Hercules - That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
*The speakers come on*
DW - Heathrow tower, this is DW. We've taken control of your airport so we can free Lord H
*Mr Snuggly looks smug*
Hercules - Well... it's still pretty stupid
DW - We, and only we, have the power to land the planes. You will not tell anyone, not the police, not the army, not the traffic wardens. Nobody is to know what's going on. If you don't comply, we WILL be forced to play Julia Roberts films as the in-flight movie on the planes
Meka Dragon - You heartless monster!
DW - Lord H's plane is due in three hours. When it nears, I will give you more instructions. DW out
*The speakers turn off. SHEEPY comes running up*
SHEEPY - I got you your coffee, sir
Meka Dragon - Did you put buggers in it?
Mr Snuggly - Stop with the Kevin Smith references! What's he doing here?
SHEEPY - I'm here on work experience!
Mr Snuggly - Right... don't they have airports in Scotland?
Meka Dragon - We need to do something!
SHEEPY - How about the big dish outside, we could hook that up and broadcast to the planes that way
Meka Dragon - You're after my job, aren't you?
Mr Snuggly - Actually, that's a good idea...
Hercules - Too bad you won't be around to see it, get out of here! No civilians are allowed in here!
*Hercules starts to push Snuggly out*
Mr Snuggly - Meka Dragon! Hey, tell him! You need me!
Meka Dragon - Sorry...
Mr Snuggly - After all those GADs... this is how you repay me?
*Mr Snuggly is thrown out*
Hercules - Right, SHEEPY, I want you to go down to the dish with my SWAT team, they'll cover you
SHEEPY - Do I get a gun?
Hercules - No
SHEEPY - Aww
*Scene 4*
*Snuggly is back in the main area of the airport, looking worried*
Mr Snuggly - I've got to do something! If schroeder's plane crashes, I'll be stuck here! Only she has the key to her flat!
*He spots a ventilation shaft*
Mr Snuggly - They put these EVERYWHERE, don't they?
*He runs up and pulls the cover off*
Mr Snuggly - Well, it worked last time
*He crawls in*
Mr Snuggly - Argh! A rat!
*Scene 5*
*SHEEPY is leading a rock hard, crack team of SWAT officers down a long, narrow corridor. There's a group of painters and decorators at the end*
SWAT #1 - Stand still, you have a spider in your hair
SWAT #2 - *shrieks* Argh! Get it out, get it out!
SWAT #3 - Ooooh, it's cold in here
*He shouts to the decorators*
SWAT #1 - Excuse me? Could you put the heating on down there? Excuse me? Hello?
SWAT #2 - How rude!
*They reach the men at the end of the corridor*
SWAT #1 - Hey, what do I look like to you?
Smoothtarget - A camp security guard!
*The newbie pulls a gun and shoots the SWAT member. The other newbies all produce guns and start shooting. The SWAT team get cut to pieces. SHEEPY cowers behind a dead body. Smoothtarget walks up, loads his gun and aims at SHEEPY's head*
Smoothtarget - Stoo-pad notable
*A piece of grating falls down and lands on the newbie. Snuggly drops down and lands on the floor by SHEEPY*
Mr Snuggly - Ow! I twisted my ankle! I mean, um... I am here to chew bubblegum and kick butt. And somebody stole my bubblegum
*The newbie throws the ventilation cover to the floor and starts shooting at Snuggly. Snuggly pulls out his gun and shoots back. Smoothtarget gets hit and drops to his knees. The other newbies start shooting at Snuggly*
Mr Snuggly - (shooting at them) Take this! And that! You want some too? Have some!
*Snuggly runs out of ammo*
Mr Snuggly - Uh oh!
*A newbie starts walking towards him, loading his gun*
Silversurfer - This'll learn you not to give me the GAD
*He aims at Snuggly, just as SHEEPY throws a gun at him. The gun hits the newbie in the head. He drops to the floor*
Mr Snuggly - Good shot!
SHEEPY - Actually, I meant to throw the gun to you... Anyway, we need to get to the dish!
*They both get up, and are soon sent back to the floor by a huge explosion. The dish outside is obliterated*
SHEEPY - Oh no!
Mr Snuggly - I knew this was a trap! My horoscope told me!
*Scene 6*
*DW and the newbies are sat in the room*
kayaker007 - Sir, just as you guessed, they tried to get to the dish
DW - Blowing up the dish and losing Eastenders wasn't part of the plan!
*He picks up a walkie talkie. His voice comes on at the tower in Heathrow*
DW - Tower, come in tower. You were told not to try any funny business. As punishment, I will now fulfil my threat
*Meka Dragon looks at Hercules*
Meka Dragon - Oh no!
*DW talks to one of the planes*
DW - Flight 222, this is Heathrow tower. Sorry we haven't been in touch, a monkey got into the machines. Flight 222, you are ordered to play Runaway Bride
Pilot - Um... are you sure? What have the passengers does to deserve this?
DW - Do it, fly boy
Pilot - Alright...
DW - And put it on loop
*They hear the screams of the passengers as the Julia Roberts film comes on*
Meka Dragon - That evil piece of slime! How can he do that?
*Outside*
Mr Snuggly - Why are they listening to him?!
SHEEPY - It's our frequency, why shouldn't they listen to him?
Mr Snuggly - I've got to do something!
SHEEPY - It's too late, the film is playing!
Mr Snuggly - Nooooooooo!
*Scene 7*
*In the control tower*
Meka Dragon - Those poor passengers...
Hercules - How can this be happening?
*Mr Snuggly walks in*
Mr Snuggly - Because of idiots like you! From now on, I suggest you two listen to ME!
Meka Dragon - Agreed. What you got on your mind?
Mr Snuggly - Well, right now, I'm trying to remember where I left my car keys, but other than that, I say we wait for Lord H to land, then I go and snag him before DW and his newbie cronies get there
Meka Dragon - Agreed
*The speakers come on*
DW - Gentlemen, you have seen how far I am willing to go. Lord H's plane is almost here. We are about to light up one runway. Do not, repeat do NOT, try to land a plane on it. It's reserved for Lord H. When he lands, no vehicles must approach the plane. I have spoken
*The speakers turn off*
Meka Dragon - It's been three hours already? That was quick... Anyway, he said no vehicles, he didn't say no SR staff members
Mr Snuggly - Yep, I'll just get out there and... Wait, no vehicles? That means I've gotta walk there in the freezing cold!
*Scene 8*
*Outside on the runway, the transport plane lands. Lord H emerges from the door, wiping the blood of the pilots onto his clothes*
Lord H - Ah, freedom
*Mr Snuggly cracks him one*
Mr Snuggly - Not yet, monkey man
Lord H - Ow! You broke my nose! Who are you?
Mr Snuggly - The guy who banned you
Lord H - Snuggly? I'll have my revenge!
*He lunges at Snuggly, who cracks him again*
Lord H - Hey, stop that! It really hurts!
*Snuggly sees a group of men running towards them. He pushes Lord H back into the plane, shoots one of the newbies, gets in and closes the door*
Mr Snuggly - Why are the newbies helping you? You hate newbies
Lord H - True, but they're stupid enough to do as I say. DW soon got enough of them together so we could pull this off
Mr Snuggly - You're not gonna be doing any pulling tonight... well, except maybe in the privacy of your bedroom. Now that I've got you, I'm gonna trade you for schroeder's life
*The newbies outside start shooting at the plane*
DW - Stop it you fools, you'll hit Lord H!
Muzic_Man - Who?
DW - Idiots! Total idiots! (he shouts) Snuggly? I assume it's you Snuggly! We're coming in!
*The newbies run into the plane and shoot the place up. Snuggly dives into the cockpit. They take Lord H out*
DW - Get him back to the base!
Muzic_Man - What base?
*DW slaps his head in despair*
DW - Snuggly? We're gonna throw some grenades in, just thought I'd let you know! You, throw your grenades in
hellokitty119 - Yes, sir!
*The newbie throws his grenades into the cockpit window. DW smiles, and runs off with the group. Inside the plane, the grenades spill into the cockpit. Snuggly looks terrified*
Mr Snuggly - Looks like this is it! Well, I've led a rich and full life... Sort of... would've been much better if I didn't have people shouting at me from cars all the time...
*He closes his eyes and waits. Nothing happens. He opens his eyes and looks at the grenades*
Mr Snuggly - Stupid newbie forgot to pull the pins out! Ha!
*Scene 9*
*Mr Snuggly runs into the control tower*
Mr Snuggly - They got away, but I managed to cap one of them. That's five I've put down so far
Hercules - Well, that's all very well and nice, but what if they're recruiting from the Sony forum? There could be a THOUSAND newbies!
*DW's voice comes on*
DW - This... is God... Ha ha, fooled you, it's me again. I want a fully fuelled jet plane waiting for us in hangar 57. I don't want any security guards there. Understood?
*The speakers turn off*
Meka Dragon - Make it so... Hey, I always wanted to say that
SHEEPY - Wait, Snuggly, you said they showed up right away? That means their base must be close by... why don't you go look for it?
Mr Snuggly - Good idea, but you're coming with me
SHEEPY - Me? What for?
Mr Snuggly - Might need a human shield...
*Scene 10*
*Snuggly and SHEEPY are outside a small building*
Mr Snuggly - This must be the place
SHEEPY - What makes you say that?
Mr Snuggly - The big "Secret Hideout" sign over there. You call Hercules, tell him to get down here, I'm gonna go in one man army style and see what I can do
SHEEPY - Good luck
Mr Snuggly - Pft. Luck is for losers. I have skill!
*Snuggly runs up to the building, sneaking around*
Mr Snuggly - All those years playing Metal Gear Solid will finally come in handy!
*He hears the click of a gun*
Muzic_Man - Freeze
Mr Snuggly - Or maybe not...
*Snuggly is taken inside*
DW - Ah, Mr Snuggly, so glad you could join us... Oh, wait, no I'm not! What the heck are you doing here?
Muzic_Man - Me find him outside
DW - Good work, here, have a cookie
Mr Snuggly - You'll never get away with this. A strike team of rock hard soldiers are on their way right now. They're going to storm this building through the roof, killing you and your men instantly in one single blow. They're the best of the best, the elite, the uber.
*Back at the airport, Hercules and his men are getting ready*
Hercules - Now where did I leave my gun...?
*Back in the building*
DW - We'd better get moving, we can't risk being found here
Muzic_Man - OK, boss. What me do with he?
DW - Kill him
*Muzic_Man raises his gun to Snuggly's head, just as the windows smash open and airport security run in, shooting at everyone. Snuggly pulls Muzic_Man in front of him and uses him as a human shield. DW and the newbies shoot back for a bit, before running outside*
DW - Lord H, come with me!
*They jump onto a dog drawn sleigh and cruise off into the night. Snuggly runs after them*
Mr Snuggly - (out of breath) Screw this!
*He stops, then walks back to the building*
Hercules - They got away!
Mr Snuggly - They'll be going to the plane in the hangar, how far away is it?
SHEEPY - Just down that road, back towards the airport
Mr Snuggly - Come on, what are we waiting for?
Hercules - A thank you for saving your life...
*Scene 11*
*Snuggly is riding in a car with SHEEPY, Hercules and some of the security guards*
Mr Snuggly - There they are, they're getting in the plane! Drive faster!
Hercules - I can't, the road's too icy! In fact, I'm not even old enough to drive! What the hell am I doing at the wheel?
Mr Snuggly - Watch out for that cow!
*Bang*
Mr Snuggly - Looks like we're having beef for breakfast tomorrow...
*The car pulls up outside the hangar*
Mr Snuggly - SHEEPY, you stay here, block the runway with the car if they try to take off. You guys, come with me
Hercules - OK
RM18 - You got it
*The guards and Snuggly sneak into the hangar. The newbies are packing things inside the plane. DW and Lord H are talking to each other*
Mr Snuggly - OK, I'll crawl up to them and grab Lord H. RM18, you flank them, in case they make a run for it. Hercules, what you gonna do?
Hercules - Grass you up
Mr Snuggly - Excuse me?
Hercules - (shouting) He's over here!
*Newbies run up and take Snuggly by the arms. RM18 starts laughing*
Mr Snuggly - Hercules, you're double crossing me?
Hercules - Yep
Mr Snuggly - Again?!
Hercules - You really are far too trusting! If I was a badguy in the original, why would I help you in the sequel?
Mr Snuggly - But the shoot out... you guys were killing each other!
Hercules - We were using water pistols! Except on Muzic_Man, we did actually kill him, he was too stupid
Mr Snuggly - RM18? Why are YOU helping Lord H? You hate him!
RM18 - I'm helping Lord H? This isn't Hybrid's surprise party?
DW - Get in the plane
*A bunch of airport security guards run in and start getting in the plane with the newbies, Lord H and DW*
DW - Kill him
*Hercules lifts his gun and is about to fire when SHEEPY comes crashing in, narrowly missing the plane*
Hercules - Hey, watch it! I just finished paying for that car! Wait... it's not even mine!
*SHEEPY reverses and runs Hercules over. He gets out*
SHEEPY - Oops, I just meant to bang into his leg...
Mr Snuggly - I've got to get onto that plane!
*The plane starts taxiing out of the hangar and onto the runway*
SHEEPY - Quick, um... Grab hold of the tail!
Mr Snuggly - I'll never catch that thing!
SHEEPY - Get in the car, we'll drive after it. If you perform an amazingly daring stunt, you might just be able to get onto the wing!
*One amazingly daring stunt later, Snuggly is on the wing of the plane. He sees a control panel*
Mr Snuggly - There must be a stop button here somewhere...
*He hits one*
Mr Snuggly - Nope, not that one... Ah, here we go "Self destruct"
*He presses it. Text flashes up saying "Did you really expect this to work?" Snuggly looks angry*
Mr Snuggly - Grr! Stupid smug planes! I know, I'll think back to the advice Mystique gave me once...
Mystique's Voice In His Head - If you're ever on the side of a plane... get off
Mr Snuggly - Great, thanks a lot, Mystique (!)
*The plan is gathering speed. The door opens and DW climbs out*
DW - You again! Why won't you leave me alone?!
Mr Snuggly - Because you're the villain, it's my job to constantly pester you!
DW - Well your pestering days are over! Prepare to die! (pause) Oops, forgot my gun... and my knife... Looks like we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way
*DW charges at him. Snuggly side steps him and he flies over the side of the wing*
*Inside the plane, Lord H is at the controls*
Lord H - What the heck? We're off balanced! Is there a fat guy sitting on the left side of the plane?
*Back outside, in the blistering cold, DW is hanging on the tip of the wing by his coat. Snuggly walks up*
DW - Curse you, Mr Snuggly, curse you to heck!
*Snuggly looks at the buttons on the control panel. One says "Dump Badguy." He presses it*
DW - Noooooo! Save me Kurt Cobain!
*DW falls into the jet engine, splashing blood everywhere, leaving a trail of it on the snow*
Mr Snuggly - Eww... That's even worse than Stryke's death in the first one... Anyway, now to finish off the plane!
*Snuggly opens the door and tosses the newbie's grenades from before inside*
Lord H - Grr, killed by a newbie's stupidity... Great, just great (!)
*Snuggly dives off just as the plane explodes. He lands on the runway*
Mr Snuggly - There's your landing lights, the trail of blood!
*Planes start landing on the runway, following the huge line of blood left by DW*
Mr Snuggly - Yay! I did it! I'm a hero... again!
*schroeder gets out of her plane and runs into Snuggly's arms*
Mr Snuggly - Hey, baby. I'm, like... pretty tall
schroeder - Oh, Snuggly, you saved us all... now get yourself down to B&Q and buy that paint I wanted for my room
*The End*
*Heathrow Airport, somewhere in England*
*Snuggly is sat inside, drinking a beer, looking bored. He sees DW walk past*
Mr Snuggly - Hey... you're DW from the forums!
DW - (hurried) Why, yes, I am. Excuse me, I must go
*DW walks off, Snuggly sits back down*
Mr Snuggly - Rude son of a-
*The speaker system comes on*
Speaker - Flight 219 from Nottingham has been delayed due to the weather
Mr Snuggly - Great (!)
*His mobile phone rings, he pulls it out and answers*
Mr Snuggly - Yellow?
loki - Hey, Snuggers, it's me
Mr Snuggly - Mum?
loki - No, loki!
Mr Snuggly - Oh, right. What's up?
loki - Just wondering if you fancied coming over for a pint
Mr Snuggly - Sorry, I can't. I'm stuck at the airport, waiting for schroeder
loki - Oh aye? Getting yourself in with her, eh?
Mr Snuggly - I'm helping her decorate her spare room
loki - (disappointed) Oh... Ah well, have fun! I'm off to get lashed and tie a goat to a lamp post
Mr Snuggly - OK, ta ra
*He puts his phone away, and spots two newbies hanging around a door. They kick the door in and run inside. Snuggly gets up to investigate*
Rakuga - Hey! You're Mr Snuggly! You saved SR towers last Christmas!
Mr Snuggly - Yeah, I did, excuse me...
*Mr Snuggly walks off to the door*
Rakuga - Rude son of a-
*Mr Snuggly has a look inside the room, and goes in. The room is full of luggage, and Snuggly spots two people in the corner, fiddling with something*
Mr Snuggly - Hey, you, does your mother know you do that?
Bobbybobbob - What? Who the heck are you?
*They turn around and Snuggly sees they have tools in their hands*
Mr Snuggly - Oh, sorry, thought you were doing something else... I'll be off...
*Just as he turns to leave, the two newbies pull out guns and start firing*
Mr Snuggly - Not again!
*Snuggly dives behind a huge suitcase marked "AfroJoe's Afro Wigs" and hides from the onslaught of bullets. They stop firing*
Bobbybobbob - Go around!
Crack Up Lad - OK!
*Crack Up Lad starts to circle the room, until he comes up on where Snuggly is hidden. Except he's not there*
Crack Up Lad - WTF?!
*Snuggly jumps on him from behind and starts battering him with a golf club*
Crack Up Lad - Ow! Stop that! It's really, REALLY painful!
*The newbie drops to the floor, just as Bobbybobbob starts firing again. Snuggly ducks and starts rummaging around in Crack Up Lad's pants, looking for a gun*
Mr Snuggly - Aha, found it- Eeeeeeeew!
*He checks the other pocket*
Mr Snuggly - This better be what I think it is...
*He pulls the gun out of the pocket and starts shooting back at the newbie. After hitting just about every suitcase in the room, he finally hits Bobbybobbob, who lands in a pile of hairspray cans, marked "Property Of AfroJoe" Snuggly leaves the room and runs up to the nearest desk*
Mr Snuggly - Quick, call the police, there was just a shootout in that room over there!
Receptionist - I'm sorry, all the lines are out because of the storm. I can call the head of airport security though, he's in the building
Mr Snuggly - Do it, I'll just wait over there... by the bar
*Mr Snuggly has a pint, someone comes up and taps him on the shoulder*
Hercules - Hercules, head of airport security, what seems to be the trouble?
Mr Snuggly - Hercules!? I thought you were dead?!
Hercules - No, no, just mortally wounded
Mr Snuggly - You tried to kill me!
Hercules - I've had anger management courses
Mr Snuggly - Oh... well, alright then. I was involved in a shootout in that room over there!
Hercules - Been shooting forum users again? Trying to cut down on the number of GAD entries or something?
Mr Snuggly - How do you know they're forum users?
Hercules - We sent their fingerprints to SR. I had a feeling I recognised them, and Brad told us they were forum users.
Mr Snuggly - Hmm... strange. What were they doing in there?
Hercules - Stealing luggage
Mr Snuggly - They were doing more than stealing luggage! They had tools, and guns!
Hercules - Look, I can spend all week filling in paperwork, getting evidence, coming up with theories... or, I can just put "stealing luggage" and go home early.
Mr Snuggly - Lazy motherfunner
Hercules - What?! Don't make me throw you out! Just because I have no staff powers doesn't mean I don't have any power here! I can have you escorted out... in a pink tutu!
*Mr Snuggly grumbles something and walks off*
*Scene 2*
*Some lights are switched on, illuminating a small room full of computers*
DW - Get to work
*A group of newbies sit at the desks and start typing*
DW - Not spamming! I meant our job!
hellokitty119 - Oh, right
*One of the newbies pulls out some pliers and starts cutting wires*
DW - Hurry it up, I'm missing the Eastenders Christmas special
*Scene 3*
*Back at the airport, Snuggly is having a drink at the bar. The lights suddenly go off*
Mr Snuggly - What the-? I just spilled my pint!
*Upstairs, in the control room, Meka Dragon is looking worried*
Meka Dragon - What do you mean we've lost power?! We have 30 planes up there!
Controller - Sorry, sir, everything's gone dead!
Meka Dragon - This better not be another fault with those NTL muppets!
*Mr Snuggly walks in*
Mr Snuggly - What's going on?
Hercules - Hey, no civilians allowed in here!
Meka Dragon - Who are you?
Mr Snuggly - Snuggly... Mr Snuggly, licensed to pick GADs
Meka Dragon - Meka Dragon, chief of this airport, I believe you already know our head of security, Hercules
Mr Snuggly - Yeah, I've had the mis-pleasure...
Meka Dragon - Well, Snuggly, something has caused us to lose power. We can't communicate with the planes about to land here, and the runway lights are down, meaning they can't land. We can't send them away because they don't have enough fuel to make it to the next airport...
Mr Snuggly - Something to do with those idiots down at NTL?
Meka Dragon - We don't think so...
Mr Snuggly - Well then it's not something, it's someONE. I found two newbies downstairs, tampering with some stuff. I think something's about to happen. Something big... Anything big going down here today?
Meka Dragon - Just the usual, a shipment of hairspray for AfroJoe, a shipment of porn for Goatboy, ten new cars for Tony... oh, and Lord H is being flown in from Germany
Mr Snuggly - What?!
Meka Dragon - Yeah, that's what I said, Tony has enough cars already
Mr Snuggly - No, about Lord H! I'd completely forgotten, he's being brought back to SR for a hearing about his evilness on the forums... DW!
Hercules - Bless you
Mr Snuggly - No, DW! DW is here, at this airport, I saw him before! He must be planning to free Lord H, THAT'S why they're taking over the airport!
Hercules - That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
*The speakers come on*
DW - Heathrow tower, this is DW. We've taken control of your airport so we can free Lord H
*Mr Snuggly looks smug*
Hercules - Well... it's still pretty stupid
DW - We, and only we, have the power to land the planes. You will not tell anyone, not the police, not the army, not the traffic wardens. Nobody is to know what's going on. If you don't comply, we WILL be forced to play Julia Roberts films as the in-flight movie on the planes
Meka Dragon - You heartless monster!
DW - Lord H's plane is due in three hours. When it nears, I will give you more instructions. DW out
*The speakers turn off. SHEEPY comes running up*
SHEEPY - I got you your coffee, sir
Meka Dragon - Did you put buggers in it?
Mr Snuggly - Stop with the Kevin Smith references! What's he doing here?
SHEEPY - I'm here on work experience!
Mr Snuggly - Right... don't they have airports in Scotland?
Meka Dragon - We need to do something!
SHEEPY - How about the big dish outside, we could hook that up and broadcast to the planes that way
Meka Dragon - You're after my job, aren't you?
Mr Snuggly - Actually, that's a good idea...
Hercules - Too bad you won't be around to see it, get out of here! No civilians are allowed in here!
*Hercules starts to push Snuggly out*
Mr Snuggly - Meka Dragon! Hey, tell him! You need me!
Meka Dragon - Sorry...
Mr Snuggly - After all those GADs... this is how you repay me?
*Mr Snuggly is thrown out*
Hercules - Right, SHEEPY, I want you to go down to the dish with my SWAT team, they'll cover you
SHEEPY - Do I get a gun?
Hercules - No
SHEEPY - Aww
*Scene 4*
*Snuggly is back in the main area of the airport, looking worried*
Mr Snuggly - I've got to do something! If schroeder's plane crashes, I'll be stuck here! Only she has the key to her flat!
*He spots a ventilation shaft*
Mr Snuggly - They put these EVERYWHERE, don't they?
*He runs up and pulls the cover off*
Mr Snuggly - Well, it worked last time
*He crawls in*
Mr Snuggly - Argh! A rat!
*Scene 5*
*SHEEPY is leading a rock hard, crack team of SWAT officers down a long, narrow corridor. There's a group of painters and decorators at the end*
SWAT #1 - Stand still, you have a spider in your hair
SWAT #2 - *shrieks* Argh! Get it out, get it out!
SWAT #3 - Ooooh, it's cold in here
*He shouts to the decorators*
SWAT #1 - Excuse me? Could you put the heating on down there? Excuse me? Hello?
SWAT #2 - How rude!
*They reach the men at the end of the corridor*
SWAT #1 - Hey, what do I look like to you?
Smoothtarget - A camp security guard!
*The newbie pulls a gun and shoots the SWAT member. The other newbies all produce guns and start shooting. The SWAT team get cut to pieces. SHEEPY cowers behind a dead body. Smoothtarget walks up, loads his gun and aims at SHEEPY's head*
Smoothtarget - Stoo-pad notable
*A piece of grating falls down and lands on the newbie. Snuggly drops down and lands on the floor by SHEEPY*
Mr Snuggly - Ow! I twisted my ankle! I mean, um... I am here to chew bubblegum and kick butt. And somebody stole my bubblegum
*The newbie throws the ventilation cover to the floor and starts shooting at Snuggly. Snuggly pulls out his gun and shoots back. Smoothtarget gets hit and drops to his knees. The other newbies start shooting at Snuggly*
Mr Snuggly - (shooting at them) Take this! And that! You want some too? Have some!
*Snuggly runs out of ammo*
Mr Snuggly - Uh oh!
*A newbie starts walking towards him, loading his gun*
Silversurfer - This'll learn you not to give me the GAD
*He aims at Snuggly, just as SHEEPY throws a gun at him. The gun hits the newbie in the head. He drops to the floor*
Mr Snuggly - Good shot!
SHEEPY - Actually, I meant to throw the gun to you... Anyway, we need to get to the dish!
*They both get up, and are soon sent back to the floor by a huge explosion. The dish outside is obliterated*
SHEEPY - Oh no!
Mr Snuggly - I knew this was a trap! My horoscope told me!
*Scene 6*
*DW and the newbies are sat in the room*
kayaker007 - Sir, just as you guessed, they tried to get to the dish
DW - Blowing up the dish and losing Eastenders wasn't part of the plan!
*He picks up a walkie talkie. His voice comes on at the tower in Heathrow*
DW - Tower, come in tower. You were told not to try any funny business. As punishment, I will now fulfil my threat
*Meka Dragon looks at Hercules*
Meka Dragon - Oh no!
*DW talks to one of the planes*
DW - Flight 222, this is Heathrow tower. Sorry we haven't been in touch, a monkey got into the machines. Flight 222, you are ordered to play Runaway Bride
Pilot - Um... are you sure? What have the passengers does to deserve this?
DW - Do it, fly boy
Pilot - Alright...
DW - And put it on loop
*They hear the screams of the passengers as the Julia Roberts film comes on*
Meka Dragon - That evil piece of slime! How can he do that?
*Outside*
Mr Snuggly - Why are they listening to him?!
SHEEPY - It's our frequency, why shouldn't they listen to him?
Mr Snuggly - I've got to do something!
SHEEPY - It's too late, the film is playing!
Mr Snuggly - Nooooooooo!
*Scene 7*
*In the control tower*
Meka Dragon - Those poor passengers...
Hercules - How can this be happening?
*Mr Snuggly walks in*
Mr Snuggly - Because of idiots like you! From now on, I suggest you two listen to ME!
Meka Dragon - Agreed. What you got on your mind?
Mr Snuggly - Well, right now, I'm trying to remember where I left my car keys, but other than that, I say we wait for Lord H to land, then I go and snag him before DW and his newbie cronies get there
Meka Dragon - Agreed
*The speakers come on*
DW - Gentlemen, you have seen how far I am willing to go. Lord H's plane is almost here. We are about to light up one runway. Do not, repeat do NOT, try to land a plane on it. It's reserved for Lord H. When he lands, no vehicles must approach the plane. I have spoken
*The speakers turn off*
Meka Dragon - It's been three hours already? That was quick... Anyway, he said no vehicles, he didn't say no SR staff members
Mr Snuggly - Yep, I'll just get out there and... Wait, no vehicles? That means I've gotta walk there in the freezing cold!
*Scene 8*
*Outside on the runway, the transport plane lands. Lord H emerges from the door, wiping the blood of the pilots onto his clothes*
Lord H - Ah, freedom
*Mr Snuggly cracks him one*
Mr Snuggly - Not yet, monkey man
Lord H - Ow! You broke my nose! Who are you?
Mr Snuggly - The guy who banned you
Lord H - Snuggly? I'll have my revenge!
*He lunges at Snuggly, who cracks him again*
Lord H - Hey, stop that! It really hurts!
*Snuggly sees a group of men running towards them. He pushes Lord H back into the plane, shoots one of the newbies, gets in and closes the door*
Mr Snuggly - Why are the newbies helping you? You hate newbies
Lord H - True, but they're stupid enough to do as I say. DW soon got enough of them together so we could pull this off
Mr Snuggly - You're not gonna be doing any pulling tonight... well, except maybe in the privacy of your bedroom. Now that I've got you, I'm gonna trade you for schroeder's life
*The newbies outside start shooting at the plane*
DW - Stop it you fools, you'll hit Lord H!
Muzic_Man - Who?
DW - Idiots! Total idiots! (he shouts) Snuggly? I assume it's you Snuggly! We're coming in!
*The newbies run into the plane and shoot the place up. Snuggly dives into the cockpit. They take Lord H out*
DW - Get him back to the base!
Muzic_Man - What base?
*DW slaps his head in despair*
DW - Snuggly? We're gonna throw some grenades in, just thought I'd let you know! You, throw your grenades in
hellokitty119 - Yes, sir!
*The newbie throws his grenades into the cockpit window. DW smiles, and runs off with the group. Inside the plane, the grenades spill into the cockpit. Snuggly looks terrified*
Mr Snuggly - Looks like this is it! Well, I've led a rich and full life... Sort of... would've been much better if I didn't have people shouting at me from cars all the time...
*He closes his eyes and waits. Nothing happens. He opens his eyes and looks at the grenades*
Mr Snuggly - Stupid newbie forgot to pull the pins out! Ha!
*Scene 9*
*Mr Snuggly runs into the control tower*
Mr Snuggly - They got away, but I managed to cap one of them. That's five I've put down so far
Hercules - Well, that's all very well and nice, but what if they're recruiting from the Sony forum? There could be a THOUSAND newbies!
*DW's voice comes on*
DW - This... is God... Ha ha, fooled you, it's me again. I want a fully fuelled jet plane waiting for us in hangar 57. I don't want any security guards there. Understood?
*The speakers turn off*
Meka Dragon - Make it so... Hey, I always wanted to say that
SHEEPY - Wait, Snuggly, you said they showed up right away? That means their base must be close by... why don't you go look for it?
Mr Snuggly - Good idea, but you're coming with me
SHEEPY - Me? What for?
Mr Snuggly - Might need a human shield...
*Scene 10*
*Snuggly and SHEEPY are outside a small building*
Mr Snuggly - This must be the place
SHEEPY - What makes you say that?
Mr Snuggly - The big "Secret Hideout" sign over there. You call Hercules, tell him to get down here, I'm gonna go in one man army style and see what I can do
SHEEPY - Good luck
Mr Snuggly - Pft. Luck is for losers. I have skill!
*Snuggly runs up to the building, sneaking around*
Mr Snuggly - All those years playing Metal Gear Solid will finally come in handy!
*He hears the click of a gun*
Muzic_Man - Freeze
Mr Snuggly - Or maybe not...
*Snuggly is taken inside*
DW - Ah, Mr Snuggly, so glad you could join us... Oh, wait, no I'm not! What the heck are you doing here?
Muzic_Man - Me find him outside
DW - Good work, here, have a cookie
Mr Snuggly - You'll never get away with this. A strike team of rock hard soldiers are on their way right now. They're going to storm this building through the roof, killing you and your men instantly in one single blow. They're the best of the best, the elite, the uber.
*Back at the airport, Hercules and his men are getting ready*
Hercules - Now where did I leave my gun...?
*Back in the building*
DW - We'd better get moving, we can't risk being found here
Muzic_Man - OK, boss. What me do with he?
DW - Kill him
*Muzic_Man raises his gun to Snuggly's head, just as the windows smash open and airport security run in, shooting at everyone. Snuggly pulls Muzic_Man in front of him and uses him as a human shield. DW and the newbies shoot back for a bit, before running outside*
DW - Lord H, come with me!
*They jump onto a dog drawn sleigh and cruise off into the night. Snuggly runs after them*
Mr Snuggly - (out of breath) Screw this!
*He stops, then walks back to the building*
Hercules - They got away!
Mr Snuggly - They'll be going to the plane in the hangar, how far away is it?
SHEEPY - Just down that road, back towards the airport
Mr Snuggly - Come on, what are we waiting for?
Hercules - A thank you for saving your life...
*Scene 11*
*Snuggly is riding in a car with SHEEPY, Hercules and some of the security guards*
Mr Snuggly - There they are, they're getting in the plane! Drive faster!
Hercules - I can't, the road's too icy! In fact, I'm not even old enough to drive! What the hell am I doing at the wheel?
Mr Snuggly - Watch out for that cow!
*Bang*
Mr Snuggly - Looks like we're having beef for breakfast tomorrow...
*The car pulls up outside the hangar*
Mr Snuggly - SHEEPY, you stay here, block the runway with the car if they try to take off. You guys, come with me
Hercules - OK
RM18 - You got it
*The guards and Snuggly sneak into the hangar. The newbies are packing things inside the plane. DW and Lord H are talking to each other*
Mr Snuggly - OK, I'll crawl up to them and grab Lord H. RM18, you flank them, in case they make a run for it. Hercules, what you gonna do?
Hercules - Grass you up
Mr Snuggly - Excuse me?
Hercules - (shouting) He's over here!
*Newbies run up and take Snuggly by the arms. RM18 starts laughing*
Mr Snuggly - Hercules, you're double crossing me?
Hercules - Yep
Mr Snuggly - Again?!
Hercules - You really are far too trusting! If I was a badguy in the original, why would I help you in the sequel?
Mr Snuggly - But the shoot out... you guys were killing each other!
Hercules - We were using water pistols! Except on Muzic_Man, we did actually kill him, he was too stupid
Mr Snuggly - RM18? Why are YOU helping Lord H? You hate him!
RM18 - I'm helping Lord H? This isn't Hybrid's surprise party?
DW - Get in the plane
*A bunch of airport security guards run in and start getting in the plane with the newbies, Lord H and DW*
DW - Kill him
*Hercules lifts his gun and is about to fire when SHEEPY comes crashing in, narrowly missing the plane*
Hercules - Hey, watch it! I just finished paying for that car! Wait... it's not even mine!
*SHEEPY reverses and runs Hercules over. He gets out*
SHEEPY - Oops, I just meant to bang into his leg...
Mr Snuggly - I've got to get onto that plane!
*The plane starts taxiing out of the hangar and onto the runway*
SHEEPY - Quick, um... Grab hold of the tail!
Mr Snuggly - I'll never catch that thing!
SHEEPY - Get in the car, we'll drive after it. If you perform an amazingly daring stunt, you might just be able to get onto the wing!
*One amazingly daring stunt later, Snuggly is on the wing of the plane. He sees a control panel*
Mr Snuggly - There must be a stop button here somewhere...
*He hits one*
Mr Snuggly - Nope, not that one... Ah, here we go "Self destruct"
*He presses it. Text flashes up saying "Did you really expect this to work?" Snuggly looks angry*
Mr Snuggly - Grr! Stupid smug planes! I know, I'll think back to the advice Mystique gave me once...
Mystique's Voice In His Head - If you're ever on the side of a plane... get off
Mr Snuggly - Great, thanks a lot, Mystique (!)
*The plan is gathering speed. The door opens and DW climbs out*
DW - You again! Why won't you leave me alone?!
Mr Snuggly - Because you're the villain, it's my job to constantly pester you!
DW - Well your pestering days are over! Prepare to die! (pause) Oops, forgot my gun... and my knife... Looks like we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way
*DW charges at him. Snuggly side steps him and he flies over the side of the wing*
*Inside the plane, Lord H is at the controls*
Lord H - What the heck? We're off balanced! Is there a fat guy sitting on the left side of the plane?
*Back outside, in the blistering cold, DW is hanging on the tip of the wing by his coat. Snuggly walks up*
DW - Curse you, Mr Snuggly, curse you to heck!
*Snuggly looks at the buttons on the control panel. One says "Dump Badguy." He presses it*
DW - Noooooo! Save me Kurt Cobain!
*DW falls into the jet engine, splashing blood everywhere, leaving a trail of it on the snow*
Mr Snuggly - Eww... That's even worse than Stryke's death in the first one... Anyway, now to finish off the plane!
*Snuggly opens the door and tosses the newbie's grenades from before inside*
Lord H - Grr, killed by a newbie's stupidity... Great, just great (!)
*Snuggly dives off just as the plane explodes. He lands on the runway*
Mr Snuggly - There's your landing lights, the trail of blood!
*Planes start landing on the runway, following the huge line of blood left by DW*
Mr Snuggly - Yay! I did it! I'm a hero... again!
*schroeder gets out of her plane and runs into Snuggly's arms*
Mr Snuggly - Hey, baby. I'm, like... pretty tall
schroeder - Oh, Snuggly, you saved us all... now get yourself down to B&Q and buy that paint I wanted for my room
*The End*
Page: