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"Ring - US"

I can't believe they've done it. I didn't hold out much hope for the American remake of Ring, the cult Japanese horror movie, but the US film crew seem to have catered to the American movie going public yet again.

http://us.imdb.com/Title?0298130

The simplifying of the script even goes as far as explaining why the film is called The Ring as well, just so the movie goers don't complain or leave scratching their heads. The images made famous in the original have all changed into something more apt for the western audience and I wouldn't be surprised if Bin Laden is finally found to be to blame for the evil at the end of the movie.

It really is a shame that this has to happen, and I hope I'm wrong about the film, but it seems it is necessary, as the people who have already seen the movie are still coming out confused, complaining that it was not a simple story and they just couldn't get it. Go watch another Vin Diesel film then, you dolts and let us have an intellegent stab at something different for a change.

Quoting from another famous American, D'oh!

Three Men & a Battle Royale

Guttenberg, Danson and Selleck battle to the death infront of hundreds of cameras, with the winner receiving slightly less painful death than the other two.

It's the truth, yo.

They should remake The Hitcher.
With apes.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see Freddie Prinze Jr., Matthew Lillard, Josh Hartnett and friends all battling to the death on a remote Japanese island, only I'd like to see it for real, not in a film.

Battle Royale already exists as a perfect film, making a remake wouldn't add anything good to it at all. As the Goat would say, this, in fact, licks balls.

Oh God, please whatever they do don't let them remake Battle Royal. That seems to be a recent trend in America "Oh no we've run out of films to make, I know lets remake something but shove a load of arsed faced pretty boys in the main roles".

There's a rumour going round that they're gonna remake Dawn of the Dead, if there's one film that doesn't need a remake it's Dawn of the Dead. Also a Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake is on the cards, this time with tons of gore and a 90210 cast loosing all of the brutality of the original.

Why can I already hear Voice-Over man?

"One Island. 24 Teens. Only one winner"

Fast-cut scenes of kids doing rubbish American killing

"In the future, the only way to survive is to kil"

More fast-cut scenes of kids shouting
-----

Rubbish idea.

Matthew Lillard will be Kiriyama, I reckon. The mad one, of course. And he'll dribble a lot.

Damnmit. That blows big-time. Any magic that the original had will now be destroyed by this remake. I can already see that it will be horrible. They'll probably have people like "Bob" and "Mark" instead of Shuya, Kiriyama and Kawada.

America - don't we love them...

Pretty sure it's been greenlit. I might be lying about Freddie Prinze, though.

I bloody hope that they don't do a USA remake of BR. It would take any credibility away from it. Is that actually confirmed Snuggly or just a rumour?

I'm dreading the US remake of Battle Royale, won't that be good. Although hopefully, Freddie Prinze Jr may get his face shot off.