Viewing Thread:
"Funny Jokes."

Right these jokes are just simply great.



JOKE 1

"Doctor, Doctor, I cant speak the letters after 'E', 'G' and 'S'.

"Well you can’t say fairer than that!"



JOKE 2

A guy walks into a psychiatrist wearing Clingfilm shorts.

"Well", says the doctor, "I can see your nuts"



JOKE 3

"Doctor, Doctor, the song sex bomb keeps running through my mind"

"Ah, you got the Tom Jones syndrome

"Is that common?"

"It's not unusual!"



JOKE 4

I was at the Dentist the other day.

He said: "Say Aah!"

I said: "Why?"

He replied: "Because my dog just died".



JOKE 5

Police picked up 2 Boys yesterday.
1 was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.
They both got arrested, they charged 1 and let the other off.

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy
rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!"

Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him."

The next day, they're all standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front
of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go
ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!"

The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me,
young man?" Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes."

The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask.

Dopey asks, "Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?"

The Pope replies, "Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska."

The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!"

The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in Alaska?"

To which the Pope replies, "Well, my son, I think there must be a few black nuns in Alaska, yes."

Still not satisfied, the others keep saying, "Ask him the last part, Dopey, ask him the last part!"

The Pope asks Dopey, "Is there still more to your question?"

To which Dopey replies, "Well, uh, yeah.....are there, uh, are there any midget black nuns in Alaska?"

The startled Pope replies, "Well, no, my son, I really don't think there are any midget black nuns in Alaska."

At this, Dopey turns all kinds of colors, and the others start laughing, and yelling, "Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!"

Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.

So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.

Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"

Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."

Reptar wrote:
> Mendax Bartender wrote:
> ===================
> JOKE 1
>
> "Doctor, Doctor, I cant speak the letters after 'E', 'G' and
> 'S'.
>
>
> "Well you can’t say fairer than that!"
> ===================
>
> I don't get it.....
>
>
> I just got told that one, i dont even get ot myself

are you stupid??

Letters after E G AND H are F H T

F airer TH an TH at


doctor says, you cant say fairer than that. cos he cant say the words as they have the corresponding letters in it. see was it hard? the jokes were crap,

Mendax Bartender wrote:
> I mean, if he can't speak the letters after E G and S (F, H and T
> respectively), how did he manage to utter sentence explaining his
> predicament, when all three letters are in there several times!

Indeed i noticed that as well.

"Doctor, Doctor, I cant speak the letters after 'E', 'G' and 'S'.

Would have to be

"medical dude, medical dude, Im having problems saying the correspondence after 'E', 'G' and 'S.'

I mean, if he can't speak the letters after E G and S (F, H and T respectively), how did he manage to utter sentence explaining his predicament, when all three letters are in there several times!

Mendax Bartender wrote:
> ===================
> JOKE 1
>
> "Doctor, Doctor, I cant speak the letters after 'E', 'G' and 'S'.
>
>
> "Well you can’t say fairer than that!"
> ===================
>
> I don't get it.....


I just got told that one, i dont even get ot myself

===================
JOKE 1

"Doctor, Doctor, I cant speak the letters after 'E', 'G' and 'S'.

"Well you can’t say fairer than that!"
===================

I don't get it.....

My mum told me my goldfish fell in the sink while she was cleaning out the bowl. It must have jumped around like hell. She had to pick to up and throw in into the bowl apparantly.

the last one made me chuckle. others were a bit poor.

You could say jokes like those about anything.

My fil-eep flor is the best though. I have a weird science teacher.