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I have been monitoring the Special Reserve Forums for some time under the alias of Rickoss for over a year now. I am actually Bill Gate’s/Microsoft’s legal advisor/lawyer. Through thorough inspection I can safely say my research is finished. For legal reasons, I must show the offender/offenders the legal document, which will be produced to Bill Gate’s of Microsoft, although as the Special reserve network Forums are family forums, any unnecessary words are deleted. The document is as follows:
“Through thorough monitoring of the Special Reserve Network Forums, I have found abusive use of Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Internet Explorer and other Microsoft applications. This abuse includes calling the Microsoft and the Microsoft Xbox inefficient and not up to good enough standards.
Also, using applications such as Microsoft Word and Microsoft MSN Messenger. Again, calling Microsoft’s products ‘[Expletive Deleted]’, ‘[Expletive Deleted]’ and ‘[Expletive Deleted]’.
There has already been a system check for each of the users of the Special Reserve Discount Network Forums and the lawsuit shall only apply to users of Microsoft machines. Although we now know who is responsible, we cannot reveal names because of the Privacy Policy.
Those who are in the lawsuit shall need to be in court on the 22nd January 2003, the court is still undecided. Although, if the offender/offenders pay the fine of $500 they need not go to court and shall be dropped from the lawsuit.”
That is the full document.
As the legal advisor/lawyer of the prosecutors (Microsoft/Bill Gate’s), I must inform the defendant/defendant’s of their legal position for the court case, to help the defendant/defendants make a better decision before entering court straight away.
The following legal document must be shown to Microsoft/Bill Gate’s as well as the defendant/defendant’s:
“Upon agreeing to Microsoft’s Terms & Conditions when the purchase of a Microsoft product was made, you agreed to sub-section 12a and did follow specific orders when using any of Microsoft’s products. The section reads as follows:
“When using a Microsoft product, no foul language or abuse aimed towards Microsoft. On agreeing to these Terms & Conditions you must not use foul or abusive language aimed at Microsoft when using; Microsoft Windows (Any Version), Microsoft Word (Any Version), Microsoft Internet Explorer (5.5 and Above), Microsoft MSN Messenger (Any Version) and some forthcoming Microsoft products. If these Terms & Conditions are not met, the course of action shall be immediate prosecution, which will result in a fine of $500 or, if the fine is not paid, a lawsuit against the defendant/defendants. Please, all right’s reserved to change terms and conditions as new Microsoft Products are put out into the market.”
If a lawsuit upon the defendant/defendant’s results in the defendant/defendant’s losing, the minimum for breaking Terms & Conditions is either 6 Months in jail or 1 Years Community Service, depending on the scale of the offence.”
These Terms &Conditions can be found within each of the Microsoft products.
Microsoft shall get addresses and other information from the Special Reserve Discount Network as Privacy Policy’s cannot get in the way of lawsuits.
After that there shall be letter asking whether the defendant/defendant’s would like to pay the fine or go to court on 22nd January 2003
Yours Sincerely
Mr. Rick Ossition
Microsoft’s Legal Advisor/Lawyer
“Through thorough monitoring of the Special Reserve Network Forums, I have found abusive use of Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Internet Explorer and other Microsoft applications. This abuse includes calling the Microsoft and the Microsoft Xbox inefficient and not up to good enough standards.
Also, using applications such as Microsoft Word and Microsoft MSN Messenger. Again, calling Microsoft’s products ‘[Expletive Deleted]’, ‘[Expletive Deleted]’ and ‘[Expletive Deleted]’.
There has already been a system check for each of the users of the Special Reserve Discount Network Forums and the lawsuit shall only apply to users of Microsoft machines. Although we now know who is responsible, we cannot reveal names because of the Privacy Policy.
Those who are in the lawsuit shall need to be in court on the 22nd January 2003, the court is still undecided. Although, if the offender/offenders pay the fine of $500 they need not go to court and shall be dropped from the lawsuit.”
That is the full document.
As the legal advisor/lawyer of the prosecutors (Microsoft/Bill Gate’s), I must inform the defendant/defendant’s of their legal position for the court case, to help the defendant/defendants make a better decision before entering court straight away.
The following legal document must be shown to Microsoft/Bill Gate’s as well as the defendant/defendant’s:
“Upon agreeing to Microsoft’s Terms & Conditions when the purchase of a Microsoft product was made, you agreed to sub-section 12a and did follow specific orders when using any of Microsoft’s products. The section reads as follows:
“When using a Microsoft product, no foul language or abuse aimed towards Microsoft. On agreeing to these Terms & Conditions you must not use foul or abusive language aimed at Microsoft when using; Microsoft Windows (Any Version), Microsoft Word (Any Version), Microsoft Internet Explorer (5.5 and Above), Microsoft MSN Messenger (Any Version) and some forthcoming Microsoft products. If these Terms & Conditions are not met, the course of action shall be immediate prosecution, which will result in a fine of $500 or, if the fine is not paid, a lawsuit against the defendant/defendants. Please, all right’s reserved to change terms and conditions as new Microsoft Products are put out into the market.”
If a lawsuit upon the defendant/defendant’s results in the defendant/defendant’s losing, the minimum for breaking Terms & Conditions is either 6 Months in jail or 1 Years Community Service, depending on the scale of the offence.”
These Terms &Conditions can be found within each of the Microsoft products.
Microsoft shall get addresses and other information from the Special Reserve Discount Network as Privacy Policy’s cannot get in the way of lawsuits.
After that there shall be letter asking whether the defendant/defendant’s would like to pay the fine or go to court on 22nd January 2003
Yours Sincerely
Mr. Rick Ossition
Microsoft’s Legal Advisor/Lawyer
Page:
I have been monitoring the Special Reserve Forums for some time under the alias of Rickoss for over a year now. I am actually Bill Gate’s/Microsoft’s legal advisor/lawyer. Through thorough inspection I can safely say my research is finished. For legal reasons, I must show the offender/offenders the legal document, which will be produced to Bill Gate’s of Microsoft, although as the Special reserve network Forums are family forums, any unnecessary words are deleted. The document is as follows:
“Through thorough monitoring of the Special Reserve Network Forums, I have found abusive use of Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Internet Explorer and other Microsoft applications. This abuse includes calling the Microsoft and the Microsoft Xbox inefficient and not up to good enough standards.
Also, using applications such as Microsoft Word and Microsoft MSN Messenger. Again, calling Microsoft’s products ‘[Expletive Deleted]’, ‘[Expletive Deleted]’ and ‘[Expletive Deleted]’.
There has already been a system check for each of the users of the Special Reserve Discount Network Forums and the lawsuit shall only apply to users of Microsoft machines. Although we now know who is responsible, we cannot reveal names because of the Privacy Policy.
Those who are in the lawsuit shall need to be in court on the 22nd January 2003, the court is still undecided. Although, if the offender/offenders pay the fine of $500 they need not go to court and shall be dropped from the lawsuit.”
That is the full document.
As the legal advisor/lawyer of the prosecutors (Microsoft/Bill Gate’s), I must inform the defendant/defendant’s of their legal position for the court case, to help the defendant/defendants make a better decision before entering court straight away.
The following legal document must be shown to Microsoft/Bill Gate’s as well as the defendant/defendant’s:
“Upon agreeing to Microsoft’s Terms & Conditions when the purchase of a Microsoft product was made, you agreed to sub-section 12a and did follow specific orders when using any of Microsoft’s products. The section reads as follows:
“When using a Microsoft product, no foul language or abuse aimed towards Microsoft. On agreeing to these Terms & Conditions you must not use foul or abusive language aimed at Microsoft when using; Microsoft Windows (Any Version), Microsoft Word (Any Version), Microsoft Internet Explorer (5.5 and Above), Microsoft MSN Messenger (Any Version) and some forthcoming Microsoft products. If these Terms & Conditions are not met, the course of action shall be immediate prosecution, which will result in a fine of $500 or, if the fine is not paid, a lawsuit against the defendant/defendants. Please, all right’s reserved to change terms and conditions as new Microsoft Products are put out into the market.”
If a lawsuit upon the defendant/defendant’s results in the defendant/defendant’s losing, the minimum for breaking Terms & Conditions is either 6 Months in jail or 1 Years Community Service, depending on the scale of the offence.”
These Terms &Conditions can be found within each of the Microsoft products.
Microsoft shall get addresses and other information from the Special Reserve Discount Network as Privacy Policy’s cannot get in the way of lawsuits.
After that there shall be letter asking whether the defendant/defendant’s would like to pay the fine or go to court on 22nd January 2003
Yours Sincerely
Mr. Rick Ossition
Microsoft’s Legal Advisor/Lawyer
“Through thorough monitoring of the Special Reserve Network Forums, I have found abusive use of Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Internet Explorer and other Microsoft applications. This abuse includes calling the Microsoft and the Microsoft Xbox inefficient and not up to good enough standards.
Also, using applications such as Microsoft Word and Microsoft MSN Messenger. Again, calling Microsoft’s products ‘[Expletive Deleted]’, ‘[Expletive Deleted]’ and ‘[Expletive Deleted]’.
There has already been a system check for each of the users of the Special Reserve Discount Network Forums and the lawsuit shall only apply to users of Microsoft machines. Although we now know who is responsible, we cannot reveal names because of the Privacy Policy.
Those who are in the lawsuit shall need to be in court on the 22nd January 2003, the court is still undecided. Although, if the offender/offenders pay the fine of $500 they need not go to court and shall be dropped from the lawsuit.”
That is the full document.
As the legal advisor/lawyer of the prosecutors (Microsoft/Bill Gate’s), I must inform the defendant/defendant’s of their legal position for the court case, to help the defendant/defendants make a better decision before entering court straight away.
The following legal document must be shown to Microsoft/Bill Gate’s as well as the defendant/defendant’s:
“Upon agreeing to Microsoft’s Terms & Conditions when the purchase of a Microsoft product was made, you agreed to sub-section 12a and did follow specific orders when using any of Microsoft’s products. The section reads as follows:
“When using a Microsoft product, no foul language or abuse aimed towards Microsoft. On agreeing to these Terms & Conditions you must not use foul or abusive language aimed at Microsoft when using; Microsoft Windows (Any Version), Microsoft Word (Any Version), Microsoft Internet Explorer (5.5 and Above), Microsoft MSN Messenger (Any Version) and some forthcoming Microsoft products. If these Terms & Conditions are not met, the course of action shall be immediate prosecution, which will result in a fine of $500 or, if the fine is not paid, a lawsuit against the defendant/defendants. Please, all right’s reserved to change terms and conditions as new Microsoft Products are put out into the market.”
If a lawsuit upon the defendant/defendant’s results in the defendant/defendant’s losing, the minimum for breaking Terms & Conditions is either 6 Months in jail or 1 Years Community Service, depending on the scale of the offence.”
These Terms &Conditions can be found within each of the Microsoft products.
Microsoft shall get addresses and other information from the Special Reserve Discount Network as Privacy Policy’s cannot get in the way of lawsuits.
After that there shall be letter asking whether the defendant/defendant’s would like to pay the fine or go to court on 22nd January 2003
Yours Sincerely
Mr. Rick Ossition
Microsoft’s Legal Advisor/Lawyer
Funny post there mate. WELL DONE
LOL! Excellent Rickoss, that was hilarious!
Well done.
:)
Well done.
:)
Cheers people, but how do you know I'm not really Microsoft's lawyer/legal advisor?
;-)
;-)
well it is just a guess. LOL. but you see you wouldn't be "wanted for suicide" would you
I've got an exam on that date so sorry I won't be there :) Nevertheless the Microsoft X-box is a pile of [Expletive deleated] and i have the freedom to say what i want :)
Parr wrote:
> but you see you wouldn't be "wanted
> for suicide" would you
FINALLY! Someone has noticed my subtle but hilarious (ok maybe not) joke tagline! Wooohoo!
> but you see you wouldn't be "wanted
> for suicide" would you
FINALLY! Someone has noticed my subtle but hilarious (ok maybe not) joke tagline! Wooohoo!
*wipes sweat from brow*
Thought I was gonna be in court after my comments about Bill's big cash love muscle.
LOL good post.
Thought I was gonna be in court after my comments about Bill's big cash love muscle.
LOL good post.
Tiltawhirl wrote:
> *wipes sweat from brow*
>
> Thought I was gonna be in court after my comments about Bill's big
> cash love muscle.
Heh, the Money Sausage! Now *that* was funny!
:D
> *wipes sweat from brow*
>
> Thought I was gonna be in court after my comments about Bill's big
> cash love muscle.
Heh, the Money Sausage! Now *that* was funny!
:D
LOL!
Great stuff Rick!
When you told me it was a bit weird I thought it'd be a 'bit' weird, and not extrememly weird. Funny, nonetheless.
:-D
Great stuff Rick!
When you told me it was a bit weird I thought it'd be a 'bit' weird, and not extrememly weird. Funny, nonetheless.
:-D
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