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"Mario's alternative agenda"

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Sun 06/10/02 at 00:19
Regular
Posts: 787
As an owner of the superb Super Mario Sunshine, I can honestly say that the game is a masterpiece of programming. And, it seems that every Ninty fan under the sun has bought (or in some cases - including mine - won) it, and has been captivated by its' addictive gameplay and intriguing puzzles... and it also seems that Mario himself (after all, he IS real *cough*) is making a truckload of money out of his latest release.

But is that Mario's one and only agenda regarding his long and stong release of games that has lasted for over 20 years? Is Mario just out to make money like any hard-working person? Or, is he involved in something bigger, more complex and ultimately more sinister?

It's hard to think that way, I know, but it must have occured to some of you that Mario's games have consistently been of a high standard since his debut in the Donkey Kong Arcade game back in the early 1980's and the reason for this consistency in quality is not only so that he can earn literally billions of pounds, yen and everything in between in a matter of weeks but also so he can establish far more devious goals.

When on a family holiday to Italy a few months back, it seems that fate was to cause my life to become a whole lot more complicated than it is already (by the way, which looks better? The red one or the black one?), as I witnessed a secret meeting round the back of the Leaning Tower while I was crouching down on the floor due to the apparent lack of excretion disposal facilities (that's bogs to you common folk). I was lucky enough to be able to record a portion of the aforementioned meeting before finishing my call of nature.



Mafia boss: "So, you're going to do the job for us, Mario?"

Mario: "Oh a-no! I can't-a do-a such a horrible thing to my fans!"

Mafia boss: "What?!"

Mario: "I won't-a do it."

Mafia boss: "And why exactly is that? May I remind you that we have numerous tools of a whacking, whipping and mutilating nature and we will not hesitate to use them."

Mario: "Ok, I'll-a do it."

Mafia boss: "Good, I'm glad we can see eye to eye on this."

Mario: *gulps*

Mafia boss: "So, you understand what your task is?"

Mario: "Er, no. Could you run it past me just-a one more time?"

Mafia: "Oh for fu....!"

Mario: "Well what do I look like? A freakin' scientist? For God's sake, I'm a plumber!"

Mafia boss: "Ok, ok. What we want you to do is...."



And then I finished peeing. So it looks like our "old pal" Mario is involved with evil Mafia types. But, it is also blatant that Mario is not doing this because he wants to, as the tension between Mario and the Mafia boss clearly demonstrated that Mario was unsure about what his task was, and was not overly pleased to be required to carry out such a task.

But what are the sinister plans that the Mafia have cooked up and are forcing Mario to carry out? I'm pretty sure it involves Mario's top-notch games in some way, along with a swimming pool-sized container of pasta... and after bringing this situation to the attention of the CIA, FBI, MI6 and RAC, we have concluded that the diabolical mess that was Mario and Wario might have something to do with it.

Other theories include Mario and the Mafia using the Virtua Boy to bring about a worldwide onslaught of severe headaches and vomiting, along with using Nintendo's ill-fated Satelliview to remotely "screw up" the control mechanisms of numerous space satellite weaponry in an attempt to steal them and hold the world to ransom.

Whatever their secret agenda is, I for one am regretting the day I got involved.
Sun 06/10/02 at 21:26
Regular
"Remember me?"
Posts: 6,124
Mr Nadkingcole wrote:
> where did you get that from

*

Not too bright, are you?
Sun 06/10/02 at 01:46
Regular
Posts: 11,875
Heres a crazy idea...maybe she...wrote it.
Sun 06/10/02 at 00:43
Posts: 0
where did you get that from
Sun 06/10/02 at 00:19
Posts: 0
As an owner of the superb Super Mario Sunshine, I can honestly say that the game is a masterpiece of programming. And, it seems that every Ninty fan under the sun has bought (or in some cases - including mine - won) it, and has been captivated by its' addictive gameplay and intriguing puzzles... and it also seems that Mario himself (after all, he IS real *cough*) is making a truckload of money out of his latest release.

But is that Mario's one and only agenda regarding his long and stong release of games that has lasted for over 20 years? Is Mario just out to make money like any hard-working person? Or, is he involved in something bigger, more complex and ultimately more sinister?

It's hard to think that way, I know, but it must have occured to some of you that Mario's games have consistently been of a high standard since his debut in the Donkey Kong Arcade game back in the early 1980's and the reason for this consistency in quality is not only so that he can earn literally billions of pounds, yen and everything in between in a matter of weeks but also so he can establish far more devious goals.

When on a family holiday to Italy a few months back, it seems that fate was to cause my life to become a whole lot more complicated than it is already (by the way, which looks better? The red one or the black one?), as I witnessed a secret meeting round the back of the Leaning Tower while I was crouching down on the floor due to the apparent lack of excretion disposal facilities (that's bogs to you common folk). I was lucky enough to be able to record a portion of the aforementioned meeting before finishing my call of nature.



Mafia boss: "So, you're going to do the job for us, Mario?"

Mario: "Oh a-no! I can't-a do-a such a horrible thing to my fans!"

Mafia boss: "What?!"

Mario: "I won't-a do it."

Mafia boss: "And why exactly is that? May I remind you that we have numerous tools of a whacking, whipping and mutilating nature and we will not hesitate to use them."

Mario: "Ok, I'll-a do it."

Mafia boss: "Good, I'm glad we can see eye to eye on this."

Mario: *gulps*

Mafia boss: "So, you understand what your task is?"

Mario: "Er, no. Could you run it past me just-a one more time?"

Mafia: "Oh for fu....!"

Mario: "Well what do I look like? A freakin' scientist? For God's sake, I'm a plumber!"

Mafia boss: "Ok, ok. What we want you to do is...."



And then I finished peeing. So it looks like our "old pal" Mario is involved with evil Mafia types. But, it is also blatant that Mario is not doing this because he wants to, as the tension between Mario and the Mafia boss clearly demonstrated that Mario was unsure about what his task was, and was not overly pleased to be required to carry out such a task.

But what are the sinister plans that the Mafia have cooked up and are forcing Mario to carry out? I'm pretty sure it involves Mario's top-notch games in some way, along with a swimming pool-sized container of pasta... and after bringing this situation to the attention of the CIA, FBI, MI6 and RAC, we have concluded that the diabolical mess that was Mario and Wario might have something to do with it.

Other theories include Mario and the Mafia using the Virtua Boy to bring about a worldwide onslaught of severe headaches and vomiting, along with using Nintendo's ill-fated Satelliview to remotely "screw up" the control mechanisms of numerous space satellite weaponry in an attempt to steal them and hold the world to ransom.

Whatever their secret agenda is, I for one am regretting the day I got involved.

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