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But, Bush continued his statement, revealing that he has turned his focus on a new evil mastermind. “I find the evil, looming presence of Kermit The Frog a much bigger threat to America, and indeed me.” Bush went on to explain, and at one point showed a tape of The Muppets in which Kermit uses the word “Revenge”. Bush says “I find this a personal threat from Kermit and will be damned if he can beat me.”
One reporter asked “Has it ever occurred to you that Kermit may not be real and is indeed a puppet?”
Bush swiftly replied with “Ha! Don’t be so stupid. Puppets can’t talk.”
Bush also went on to list the procedures used in trying to find this evil, green super villain. He has stopped the search for Bin Laden and Hussein and has asked for the FBI to search thoroughly for “The world’s deadliest frog”. He has also used his numerous mob connections to gain access to some nuclear weapons of his own “To compete with whatever horrific devices Kermit may have up his sleeve.”
He then said that he would start the search for the frog in Afghanistan, saying “How likely is it that a terrorist is going to go anywhere other than there?”, whilst making facial expressions showing he obviously doubted the reporters intelligence.
One man asked “What else has he ever done other than use the word ‘Revenge’?”. Bush re-quoted his statement about Kermit’s secret weapons. He also suggested that Kermit may have a few allies with him in this “Crusade for evil-inspired world domination”. He reassured the American public that “Kermit will be dealt with quickly and efficiently”, the moving on post haste before anyone could refer to the way he quickly and efficiently dealt with Osama Bin Laden.
He went on to discuss Kermit’s allies in greater depth. “I fear that Ms. Piggy may strike a dominating role in this.” One reporter asked if Bush thought that she, as well as Kermit, could be a puppet. Bush answered with “Ha! A puppet cannot be sexually alluring”
He also stated that “The big yellow bird from Sesame Street is a danger, we fear he may be joining in too. Probably to fuel his mad cravings for Class A drugs, which he will use his power to get free of charge”
Bush also went on to discuss how this may affect the US of A. “I fear that Ms. Piggy may plan to invade a major building and demand things from the inside. Fear not, I have alerted the entire American Army and they will all be guarding every major building”
“Won’t this leave America open to attack, President?” asked a reporter.
“Yeah, likely..” said Bush with a grin, although one that looked like it had been told something a little bit too late.
“I will ask for America’s worldwide allies to assist. I will hold a meeting with Tony Blair to discuss how England can help stop Kermit The Frog and his evil allies. The Japanese also show keen interest, although the countries with the most intellectual, and useful, leaders seem to be backing away”
Well, the whole of America is on alert. People have purchased guns, gas masks and videos of non-Muppet shows in “An attempt to bring them down financially”.
Bush is on his toes, and has forgotten of Hussein, Bin Laden and has focused his attention to his new prime target.
End broadcast
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But, Bush continued his statement, revealing that he has turned his focus on a new evil mastermind. “I find the evil, looming presence of Kermit The Frog a much bigger threat to America, and indeed me.” Bush went on to explain, and at one point showed a tape of The Muppets in which Kermit uses the word “Revenge”. Bush says “I find this a personal threat from Kermit and will be damned if he can beat me.”
One reporter asked “Has it ever occurred to you that Kermit may not be real and is indeed a puppet?”
Bush swiftly replied with “Ha! Don’t be so stupid. Puppets can’t talk.”
Bush also went on to list the procedures used in trying to find this evil, green super villain. He has stopped the search for Bin Laden and Hussein and has asked for the FBI to search thoroughly for “The world’s deadliest frog”. He has also used his numerous mob connections to gain access to some nuclear weapons of his own “To compete with whatever horrific devices Kermit may have up his sleeve.”
He then said that he would start the search for the frog in Afghanistan, saying “How likely is it that a terrorist is going to go anywhere other than there?”, whilst making facial expressions showing he obviously doubted the reporters intelligence.
One man asked “What else has he ever done other than use the word ‘Revenge’?”. Bush re-quoted his statement about Kermit’s secret weapons. He also suggested that Kermit may have a few allies with him in this “Crusade for evil-inspired world domination”. He reassured the American public that “Kermit will be dealt with quickly and efficiently”, the moving on post haste before anyone could refer to the way he quickly and efficiently dealt with Osama Bin Laden.
He went on to discuss Kermit’s allies in greater depth. “I fear that Ms. Piggy may strike a dominating role in this.” One reporter asked if Bush thought that she, as well as Kermit, could be a puppet. Bush answered with “Ha! A puppet cannot be sexually alluring”
He also stated that “The big yellow bird from Sesame Street is a danger, we fear he may be joining in too. Probably to fuel his mad cravings for Class A drugs, which he will use his power to get free of charge”
Bush also went on to discuss how this may affect the US of A. “I fear that Ms. Piggy may plan to invade a major building and demand things from the inside. Fear not, I have alerted the entire American Army and they will all be guarding every major building”
“Won’t this leave America open to attack, President?” asked a reporter.
“Yeah, likely..” said Bush with a grin, although one that looked like it had been told something a little bit too late.
“I will ask for America’s worldwide allies to assist. I will hold a meeting with Tony Blair to discuss how England can help stop Kermit The Frog and his evil allies. The Japanese also show keen interest, although the countries with the most intellectual, and useful, leaders seem to be backing away”
Well, the whole of America is on alert. People have purchased guns, gas masks and videos of non-Muppet shows in “An attempt to bring them down financially”.
Bush is on his toes, and has forgotten of Hussein, Bin Laden and has focused his attention to his new prime target.
End broadcast