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Yep, you read it right. That good ol' C word is cropping up in topic titles all over the shop, seeing as now we've only got about 100 days left. The sales are being prepared, the games companies are dropping their prices, and teenagers everywhere are begging on street corners for enough money to get all the good titles being released on their console of choice come December the 25th...well, beg no more! All you'll need is £40 (maybe less if you shop at Special Reserve) and I will show you what games you need to buy. Forget 'ooh, that looks interesting' and 'hmm, I'll check that one out' because THIS is the list of stuff you MUST HAVE...it's the third in an award winning series...it's The Duffer's Guide to Christmas Gaming!
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1) The Playstation 2
The original and best console, for this generation anyway. Now just £170, townies and old men alike will be getting this over the holiday period for stunning titles like 'Fifa 2003' and 'that game with Lara Big Jugs'...what they might not know, however, is that November 8th will see the best game this century released. GRAND THEFT AUTO - VICE CITY is the follow up to GTA3, the game that took a foul-mouthed, blood filled carjacking phenomenon, and made it a jillion times better. You were in full 3D and could see the taxi-driver wince as you took his car, flicked on the radio and ran him over whilst listening to a Pavarotti-a-like. It took huge interactive cities, cool weapons and tons of varied missions mixed in with hidden packages, bonuses and stunts to cram in a couple of years' worth of replay value in there. Many of us have seen the last mission come and go, but I doubt there's more than 50 people out of the 7m that bought it to get 100%...and now there's the next game! Not a direct sequel/prequel, but instead a game that takes all the little niggling annoyances from it's predecessor, and shoots it with an Uzi whilst driving past them on a motorbike. Beautiful graphics, twice the vehicles (including boats and helicopters), twice the weapons, three times the size (location wise, which includes stunning interior locations such as discos), and no doubt several times the size (play wise). Hours and hours of voiceovers, licensed 80s music (like Blondie and Cutting Crew), and even more pedestrians going about their daily business, oblivious to the fact that you're about to chuck a Molotov Cocktail at them. This is going to be the best PS2 game yet, and should definitely go top of the list.
2) The Gamecube
Or should it? Nintendo are pretty low in the company image tables, along with the likes of Microsoft, Enron and Al Queada's Laundry Inc., but you won't care how brightly coloured the monster is when you're playing SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE. One of the true mascots of video games, the plump plumber is on holiday with the beautiful Princess Peach...only to find out that someone has dressed up just like him and sprayed graffiti everywhere, dragging our Mazza's good name through the dirt. Your job is to clean the mess up, but along the way you encounter baddies, bosses, townsfolk and even Yoshi! Mario 64's step from 2D to 3D was probably the best ever (with GTA3's a close second), and a good seven years on it's still the best platform game ever...but only until SMS is released. Moving everything from the last title forward, the big N add a new game dynamic with Mario's water pack. You don't just use it for washing off your enemy's scribbles however, as it can double (and triple, and quadruple) into a squirt gun for getting rid of attackers, to a hoverpack for flying around above the floor, to a booster for that added height when jumping across buildings. With every single Shine (of which there are over one hundred) giving you anything from a mild headache to an earth-shattering migraine, and with unlockables, secrets and plenty of Miyamoto magic to be found, this is the title for your Gamecube you need to jot down when writing to Santa.
3) The Personal Computer
I'm not one to snort when PC gaming is concerned (I prefer to laugh uncontrollably, whilst getting a branding iron to plant the letters 'PC' on your forehead), which is why I'm including it in this guide. That, and the fact that UNREAL TOURNAMENT 2003 is going to be awesome. Following on from the Second Greatest Online Title Of All Time (tm) and a former Game Of The Year, Epic Games have got quite possibly the most eye-scorchingly, gut-wrenchingly gore-gee-ooos first person shooter ever (until Doom 3 gets released). As long as you have a £3billion computer, you will be able to pick out each individual blade of blood-stained grass...unfortunately, wasting those precious seconds will mean you'll get shot in the back of the head with a lightning gun. That's right, the master of combat that isn't Counterstrike, Halo or Goldeneye will be unleashed upon unsuspecting civilians in a couple of weeks, with revolutionary new game modes such as Bombing Run (Sport of the Future!) coupled with old favouties like Capture the Flag, and Kill Everyone That Isn't You. With brilliant weapons like the Flak Cannon and MiniGun (not to leave out everybody's favourite Ghostbusting tool, the Pulse Rifle), there's never a dull moment as you stalk corridors, watching the pretty patterns your missiles make or roam the splendourous outdoor terrains, searching for someone to frag. The terrain editor is easier to use than ever, allowing you to whip up your very own map with incredible ease, and you'll be able to while away the 25th, 26th, 27th and all the days until you have to return to whatever it is you do by playing online.
4) The XBOX
Like I said before, I don't like to exclude PC gamers so here's the must-have, killer app for the XBOX. Ahahahaha! Get it? Because the XBOX is a PC! Ahahaha...*ahem* well, you can forget your Pokemons, your Final Fantasys your Zeldas and every other RPG out there because THE ELDER SCROLLS 3: MORROWIND is coming to a big black box near you. Actually, it might be staying in that big black box until June 2004 if you budget your time to sixty minutes of XBOX a day, because this baby has a reported 500 hours of game time! This grand epic of a title sees you attempting to halt a devastating plague which has struck down the eponymous province of Morrowind, and...wait, that's the whole plot. This is very much like the online smash hit Everquest, except without the terrible withdrawal symtoms from not playing for a few days, and without the withdrawal from your bank account for monthly payments. You can pander around talking to various characters, either trying to finish your overall goal or completing smaller, more personal ones such as recovering stolen goods. Oh, by the way, did I mention you do all this on the stage of a whole continent? And did I mention that your main character can be anything? Not in the cop-our style that you can be stealthy (have a crossbow) or more action-packed (have a gun), I mean you can be a shoe-maker with a shoe-shop, or a thief that steals shoes from a shoe-shop. The scale, interaction and overall freedom will draw many a comparison with MMORPGs to the extent that it might take you a week to realise that the madge you've been chatting up for the past month ISN'T a forty year old man pretending to be a twenty-one year old woman. Beautiful, amazing, original, and with a one-off payment - Morrowind is definitely a must-buy.
------------------------------------------------------
Well, there you have it. Vice City, Mario Sunshine, UT 2003 and Morrowind; the four games (maximum) that you'll need for the holiday period. No need to busk, or beg, or steal from your mother's purse (well, actually, you could do that and send me the cash...) because I've been here to help you with your decisions. Where would you be without me? Lying in a ditch, dribbling all over a shirt that isn't yours whilst an officer of the law holds his nose before attempting to handcuff you. Honestly, I give so, so much and ask for so little...and what do I get? I get nothing. Not a card, not a pat on the back, a quiet word of congratulations, just....
Well, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah and Crazy Kwanza (or however you spell it) to all of you out there...and have fun with those games! Thanks for reading!
-------------------------------------------------------
1) The Playstation 2
The original and best console, for this generation anyway. Now just £170, townies and old men alike will be getting this over the holiday period for stunning titles like 'Fifa 2003' and 'that game with Lara Big Jugs'...what they might not know, however, is that November 8th will see the best game this century released. GRAND THEFT AUTO - VICE CITY is the follow up to GTA3, the game that took a foul-mouthed, blood filled carjacking phenomenon, and made it a jillion times better. You were in full 3D and could see the taxi-driver wince as you took his car, flicked on the radio and ran him over whilst listening to a Pavarotti-a-like. It took huge interactive cities, cool weapons and tons of varied missions mixed in with hidden packages, bonuses and stunts to cram in a couple of years' worth of replay value in there. Many of us have seen the last mission come and go, but I doubt there's more than 50 people out of the 7m that bought it to get 100%...and now there's the next game! Not a direct sequel/prequel, but instead a game that takes all the little niggling annoyances from it's predecessor, and shoots it with an Uzi whilst driving past them on a motorbike. Beautiful graphics, twice the vehicles (including boats and helicopters), twice the weapons, three times the size (location wise, which includes stunning interior locations such as discos), and no doubt several times the size (play wise). Hours and hours of voiceovers, licensed 80s music (like Blondie and Cutting Crew), and even more pedestrians going about their daily business, oblivious to the fact that you're about to chuck a Molotov Cocktail at them. This is going to be the best PS2 game yet, and should definitely go top of the list.
2) The Gamecube
Or should it? Nintendo are pretty low in the company image tables, along with the likes of Microsoft, Enron and Al Queada's Laundry Inc., but you won't care how brightly coloured the monster is when you're playing SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE. One of the true mascots of video games, the plump plumber is on holiday with the beautiful Princess Peach...only to find out that someone has dressed up just like him and sprayed graffiti everywhere, dragging our Mazza's good name through the dirt. Your job is to clean the mess up, but along the way you encounter baddies, bosses, townsfolk and even Yoshi! Mario 64's step from 2D to 3D was probably the best ever (with GTA3's a close second), and a good seven years on it's still the best platform game ever...but only until SMS is released. Moving everything from the last title forward, the big N add a new game dynamic with Mario's water pack. You don't just use it for washing off your enemy's scribbles however, as it can double (and triple, and quadruple) into a squirt gun for getting rid of attackers, to a hoverpack for flying around above the floor, to a booster for that added height when jumping across buildings. With every single Shine (of which there are over one hundred) giving you anything from a mild headache to an earth-shattering migraine, and with unlockables, secrets and plenty of Miyamoto magic to be found, this is the title for your Gamecube you need to jot down when writing to Santa.
3) The Personal Computer
I'm not one to snort when PC gaming is concerned (I prefer to laugh uncontrollably, whilst getting a branding iron to plant the letters 'PC' on your forehead), which is why I'm including it in this guide. That, and the fact that UNREAL TOURNAMENT 2003 is going to be awesome. Following on from the Second Greatest Online Title Of All Time (tm) and a former Game Of The Year, Epic Games have got quite possibly the most eye-scorchingly, gut-wrenchingly gore-gee-ooos first person shooter ever (until Doom 3 gets released). As long as you have a £3billion computer, you will be able to pick out each individual blade of blood-stained grass...unfortunately, wasting those precious seconds will mean you'll get shot in the back of the head with a lightning gun. That's right, the master of combat that isn't Counterstrike, Halo or Goldeneye will be unleashed upon unsuspecting civilians in a couple of weeks, with revolutionary new game modes such as Bombing Run (Sport of the Future!) coupled with old favouties like Capture the Flag, and Kill Everyone That Isn't You. With brilliant weapons like the Flak Cannon and MiniGun (not to leave out everybody's favourite Ghostbusting tool, the Pulse Rifle), there's never a dull moment as you stalk corridors, watching the pretty patterns your missiles make or roam the splendourous outdoor terrains, searching for someone to frag. The terrain editor is easier to use than ever, allowing you to whip up your very own map with incredible ease, and you'll be able to while away the 25th, 26th, 27th and all the days until you have to return to whatever it is you do by playing online.
4) The XBOX
Like I said before, I don't like to exclude PC gamers so here's the must-have, killer app for the XBOX. Ahahahaha! Get it? Because the XBOX is a PC! Ahahaha...*ahem* well, you can forget your Pokemons, your Final Fantasys your Zeldas and every other RPG out there because THE ELDER SCROLLS 3: MORROWIND is coming to a big black box near you. Actually, it might be staying in that big black box until June 2004 if you budget your time to sixty minutes of XBOX a day, because this baby has a reported 500 hours of game time! This grand epic of a title sees you attempting to halt a devastating plague which has struck down the eponymous province of Morrowind, and...wait, that's the whole plot. This is very much like the online smash hit Everquest, except without the terrible withdrawal symtoms from not playing for a few days, and without the withdrawal from your bank account for monthly payments. You can pander around talking to various characters, either trying to finish your overall goal or completing smaller, more personal ones such as recovering stolen goods. Oh, by the way, did I mention you do all this on the stage of a whole continent? And did I mention that your main character can be anything? Not in the cop-our style that you can be stealthy (have a crossbow) or more action-packed (have a gun), I mean you can be a shoe-maker with a shoe-shop, or a thief that steals shoes from a shoe-shop. The scale, interaction and overall freedom will draw many a comparison with MMORPGs to the extent that it might take you a week to realise that the madge you've been chatting up for the past month ISN'T a forty year old man pretending to be a twenty-one year old woman. Beautiful, amazing, original, and with a one-off payment - Morrowind is definitely a must-buy.
------------------------------------------------------
Well, there you have it. Vice City, Mario Sunshine, UT 2003 and Morrowind; the four games (maximum) that you'll need for the holiday period. No need to busk, or beg, or steal from your mother's purse (well, actually, you could do that and send me the cash...) because I've been here to help you with your decisions. Where would you be without me? Lying in a ditch, dribbling all over a shirt that isn't yours whilst an officer of the law holds his nose before attempting to handcuff you. Honestly, I give so, so much and ask for so little...and what do I get? I get nothing. Not a card, not a pat on the back, a quiet word of congratulations, just....
Well, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah and Crazy Kwanza (or however you spell it) to all of you out there...and have fun with those games! Thanks for reading!
Page:
Ashley wrote:
> GTA 3 was immense i cant believe AJ didn't like it! what a fool!
---
Fool. Nope. Most definately not.
> GTA 3 was immense i cant believe AJ didn't like it! what a fool!
---
Fool. Nope. Most definately not.
GTA 3 was immense i cant believe AJ didn't like it! what a fool!
Dark Elf wrote:
> i think i will buy vice city just for the sake of it...like if you had
> a mega-drive then you would almost certainly get a sonic game for it.
> or if you had a nintendo console then who wouldn't get a mario game.
Heh, yeah. GTA is really becoming Sony's main player.
> i think i will buy vice city just for the sake of it...like if you had
> a mega-drive then you would almost certainly get a sonic game for it.
> or if you had a nintendo console then who wouldn't get a mario game.
Heh, yeah. GTA is really becoming Sony's main player.
i think i will buy vice city just for the sake of it...like if you had a mega-drive then you would almost certainly get a sonic game for it. or if you had a nintendo console then who wouldn't get a mario game.
El blokey wrote:
> Fountain of Knowledge wrote:
> But will it be realistic enough? Can you see yourself as
> an italian plumber? Or are you too busy comitting arson and robbing
> cars, you know, like in real life?
>
>
> AAAAAARGH! It's not meant to be realistic!
>
> IT'S JUST FUN!
*tongue...in...cheek...*
> Fountain of Knowledge wrote:
> But will it be realistic enough? Can you see yourself as
> an italian plumber? Or are you too busy comitting arson and robbing
> cars, you know, like in real life?
>
>
> AAAAAARGH! It's not meant to be realistic!
>
> IT'S JUST FUN!
*tongue...in...cheek...*
Very good post.
Still, I'm not buying any of those games, except Mario Sunshine. Well, possibly GTA: Vice City as well, but GTA3 never impressed me much so I don't see why Vice City will be any different.
Nice one though.
Still, I'm not buying any of those games, except Mario Sunshine. Well, possibly GTA: Vice City as well, but GTA3 never impressed me much so I don't see why Vice City will be any different.
Nice one though.
Fountain of Knowledge wrote:
> But will it be realistic enough? Can you see yourself as
> an italian plumber? Or are you too busy comitting arson and robbing
> cars, you know, like in real life?
AAAAAARGH! It's not meant to be realistic!
IT'S JUST FUN!
> But will it be realistic enough? Can you see yourself as
> an italian plumber? Or are you too busy comitting arson and robbing
> cars, you know, like in real life?
AAAAAARGH! It's not meant to be realistic!
IT'S JUST FUN!
Quite a few games on me "to get" list this christmas.
Mario Sunshine, Pro Evolution soccer 2, Championship Manager 4, GTA:vice city, Timesplitters 2 (but which format to get it on?!), Starfox adventures
Then theres other stuff like Buffy, Resident Evil, Stuntman, Eternal darkness...which I'll try and get if i have some spare cash.
Mario Sunshine, Pro Evolution soccer 2, Championship Manager 4, GTA:vice city, Timesplitters 2 (but which format to get it on?!), Starfox adventures
Then theres other stuff like Buffy, Resident Evil, Stuntman, Eternal darkness...which I'll try and get if i have some spare cash.
Well I have to say i'll be getting gta:vc without doubt, as anyone with a ps2 and a braincell (not to be assumed as everyone) will be doing. Ho-ho, fifa, gotta get fifa 2003 month 12 special edition, with extra pre-match fireworks and new michael owen-rendered hamstring injuries, with new Moron Rendering Software making it even easier to turn it off, ha don't think so.
Mario Sunshine looks like being the must-have title for the gamecube at long last. Saw some screenshots in gamesmaster, sweet jesus it looks good. Watched a bit of it on tinternet, nearly fainted it looked that great. But will it be realistic enough? Can you see yourself as an italian plumber? Or are you too busy comitting arson and robbing cars, you know, like in real life?
Mario Sunshine looks like being the must-have title for the gamecube at long last. Saw some screenshots in gamesmaster, sweet jesus it looks good. Watched a bit of it on tinternet, nearly fainted it looked that great. But will it be realistic enough? Can you see yourself as an italian plumber? Or are you too busy comitting arson and robbing cars, you know, like in real life?
i am afraid project IGI 2 will whoop UR 2003's butt!
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