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"When girls decide on the clothes..."

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Tue 10/09/02 at 22:15
Regular
Posts: 787
Have you ever wondered what the fashion could or would be like if girls decided what characters would wear in videogames? I'm sure many of you would dread to think - but already the take-over planned by us humans of the female variety has begun with the game Super Smash Bros Melee. Did you ever think you'd see Luigi wearing pink dungarees? It has begun, and here are more examples of what you will have to expect to see in the near future:

Lara Croft

What she (usually) wears now:
Lara Croft usually wears whatever skin-tight clothing she can find to show off her ever-changing boobs and her extremely large backside (supported by the tiniest waist known to man). Articles of clothing include a skin-tight turquoise top and (who wears) short shorts(?).

What she will be wearing:
Lara Croft is very unlady-like in her ways. Ofcourse this will have to change. She's meant to be an archaeologist, yet she wears very short shorts? She trapses through jungles with her legs bare to the harshness of the rainforests inwhich these tombs she raids are situated. Yet she has no protection against mosquitoes - and revealing all the flesh is bound to attract a wild wolf and a lion or two. So instead, our friend Lara Croft will be wearing very sensible flat shoes, full length trousers. She will be keeping her tight shirt - after all, it prevents bugs and animals getting trapped down her top, but she will also be wearing a cardigan!


Superman

What he wears now: Well Superman hasn't been seen in a videogame since his terrible Nintendo 64 title, yet he is set to return sometime in the future (soopa!). Well, he's rumoured to be coming back with a broken leg and a black-eye, so don't expect the next title to be 'super' either. Anyway, Superman wears a full length, neck to feet, leotard with red pants worn on top (where'd he learn to dress?) with red knee-high boots and a big 'S' on his chest.

What he will be wearing: Do guys know how disgusting it really is seeing their 'bulge' all the time - not to mention the embarrassment they must be feeling at having such tiny packadges. So instead of wearing that crappy 60's style superhero outfit, he will wear a black baggy T-shirt, still containing the 'S' logo, and some Levis Jeans. Instead of those terrible red boots, he will now wear some trainers, or sneakers as he'd call them (he is of the USA variety after all). Oh, and he will be wearing his underwear under his trousers! Ofcourse the fact he'll be reliant on crutches, or atleast he'll be hopping, will mean he wont have time for stupid fashions anyway.


Super Mario

What he wears now: Well Super Mario has gone through very few fasions, mainly sticking to red and blue - occasionally swapping the colours around. His shoes have always been brown which is very sensible indeed, and the dungarees are very good for a mechanic to be wearing.

What he will wear: Well Nintendo have said they wanted to make Mario more 'adult'. So what did they do? They added texture to his denim dungarees. Well not only will Mario's fashion be different, he will look more normal and wear a white long-sleeve shirt, with sleeves rolled up and some kind of stain down the middle as well as some black jeans. He's a plumber so he'll wear a tool-belt with all his useful tools clipped onto.


Jill Valentine

What she wore in the movie: Jill, from Resident Evil: The Movie, wore a long red dress that kinda tailed down one side.

What she will wear in the next movie: Her S.T.A.R.S. uniform ofcourse. Why change what she wears? Supposedly girls also look good in uniform.

Ofcourse things will change as general fasions do, and at least if girls make the games, they're more likely to have a greater fashion sense than if boys designed character's clothing. Yes, that may have sounded sexist, but that's the humour of this thread. :)

Anyway, that's my first crack of humour on this site. Hope you like it.

Dani.
Tue 10/09/02 at 23:15
Regular
Posts: 15,681
Lara Croft in practical clothing? Wouldn't the weight of it make her snap?

And the moon is on my toast - melted and yellow and tastes like old socks!
Wed 11/09/02 at 17:13
Regular
Posts: 15,681
*Pop yn iawn*

Mesa thinks this deserves a little more viewing by others before it's forgotten forever...
Wed 11/09/02 at 17:14
Regular
Posts: 11,875
I read it, but I didn't think it was paritculary funny.
Wed 11/09/02 at 18:55
Regular
Posts: 20,776
my head came off, will it grow back ? :/
Wed 11/09/02 at 19:52
Regular
Posts: 379
I've often thought that lovely Lara would be even more appealing to guys if she covered up a bit, wore glasses, and had a shy personality.
Wed 11/09/02 at 19:56
Regular
"i am fubby"
Posts: 596
no i didn't think it was very funny...don't quit the day job
Wed 11/09/02 at 20:00
Regular
Posts: 15,681
Whitestripes wrote:
> I read it, but I didn't think it was paritculary funny.

I didn't find your constant provocation of fanboys very funny either - but you continued it.

Anyway, give her a chance, she's new here!
Wed 11/09/02 at 20:20
Regular
"Remember me?"
Posts: 6,124
Whitestripes wrote:
> I read it, but I didn't think it was paritculary funny.


*

Yes, I too feel thphone from at you should lay of Cute Chick. For someone who's only been here for a few days, she came up with a damn fine spoof. Keep it up, Cute Chick.
Wed 11/09/02 at 20:23
Regular
"Remember me?"
Posts: 6,124
Dark Mark wrote:
> Whitestripes wrote:
> I read it, but I didn't think it was paritculary funny.
>
>
> *
>
> Yes, I too feel thphone from at you should lay of Cute Chick. For
> someone who's only been here for a few days, she came up with a damn
> fine spoof. Keep it up, Cute Chick.


*

What I ACTUALLY meant to say was:

"Yes, I too feel that you should lay of Cute Chick. For someone who's only been here for a few days, she came up with a damn fine spoof. Keep it up, Cute Chick."

Except this a$s of a keyboard is doing my head in.
Wed 11/09/02 at 20:32
Regular
Posts: 11,875
Edgy wrote:

> I didn't find your constant provocation of fanboys very funny either -
> but you continued it.
>
> Anyway, give her a chance, she's new here!

Whats your problem? I didn't insult her at all, I just said I didn't find it funny. Not everyone has teh same sense of humour you know.

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