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In a recent press interview, it has become known that Bill Gates and his company Microsoft are monkey lovers of the extreme kind! Bill pointed out that monkeys have always been of major interest for him, and his X-Box console may be the stepping stone that could put monkeys into stardom. The monkeys will probably jump at the chance, and Bill Gates' promotion acts will see them recieve millions, in bananas of course, but Bill, being moneymaster (and monkeymaster now also) and all, will obviously be able to afford this.
As it turns out, Gates isn't the only monkey fanatic, as plenty of monkey lovers turned up at Times Square in New York to watch Bill make what was to be an emotional speech for them, all based on the topic of monkeys. "I've had a fascination for monkeys since the age of 7!" he stated calmly, before Microsoft Big Cheese Steve Balmer took centre stage and proceeded to jump about with bananas in his hands, imitating a monkey. Balmer recieved rapturous applause, and Gates not wanting to be left out of the whole situation joined the fray and attempted to swing from one of the wires above the stage. This resulted in a nasty accident as he plunged down onto Balmer's head and through the stage. Later pictures revealed that Gates and Balmer were ok though, as they were seen prancing about the hospital with a almost justified case of 'monkeymania'!
Bill's love for monkeys will be coming to X-Box of course, but PC now as well, as all MS fans will be happy to hear. Microsoft have started working on new exclusives such as Monkey Evolution Soccer, Resident Monkey and Monkey Mansion. Each of the games have been obviously taken from sources that most will be able to identify, but Microsoft are bluntly refusing to admit that the games are not their own work. It is rumoured they have payed off the companies their new games are taken from with hefty sums so that they don't tell the public that their games have been used for monkey-promoting. Silly BILLys. Ahem.
Monkey Evolution Soccer uses the amazing Pro Evo engine but with teams of monkeys, and the challenge in the game is not to let the monkeys dribble over the bananas littered about the field with the ball or they will become hypnotised and unable to play for 30 seconds. This can be a real blow for your team, and a feature that is likely to raise a few eyebrows. Overall though, this game could well be the key football game for the X-Box!
Resident Monkey is set in a unique mansion on the top of the hill near Monkey Town, and will allow gamers to take their anger out on evil zombie monkeys with loads of original weapons created by Gates himself for the game. Resident Monkey will be short, according to Gates, but rest assured, plenty of sequels to this Monkey Scare-'em-Up are in the pipeline.
Monkey Mansion is basically the same as Resident Monkey, but it has more of a childish image and will be bought by gamers who are looking for more of a scary platform adventure than a very scary action shooter. Plenty of difference from Resident Monkey, but in the eyes of many it will be a similar game. Bill has tipped this one to be an essential purchase.
If having his own branch of monkey games wasn't enough, Gates has signed key monkey games and their developers to X-Box from PS2 and GC. LucasArts with Escape From Monkey Island and Sega with Super Monkey Ball are among the culprits who have had their games directly transported onto the X-Box and PC, as the Bill Gates Monkeymania regime trundles on and doesn't look to be coming to a halt.
The future of the X-Box has certainly been given an upwards boost by all this monkeying around, and the PC certainly could use more games with the aspect of monkey fun. Happy memories for PS2 and GC fans will also be the case to do with this new regime by Gates, as they never thought they'd have seen Gates and Balmer jump around on a stage in front of a live audience like a couple of monkeys. Well, Balmer possibly, but the prospect of Gates doing such would've made half of them foam at the mouth. And then it happened. Certainly a memory they'll happy talk about for months or even years to come!
So everyone must now Hail Bill Gates - the True Monkey Lover!
Hope you enjoyed,
AJ.
As it turns out, Gates isn't the only monkey fanatic, as plenty of monkey lovers turned up at Times Square in New York to watch Bill make what was to be an emotional speech for them, all based on the topic of monkeys. "I've had a fascination for monkeys since the age of 7!" he stated calmly, before Microsoft Big Cheese Steve Balmer took centre stage and proceeded to jump about with bananas in his hands, imitating a monkey. Balmer recieved rapturous applause, and Gates not wanting to be left out of the whole situation joined the fray and attempted to swing from one of the wires above the stage. This resulted in a nasty accident as he plunged down onto Balmer's head and through the stage. Later pictures revealed that Gates and Balmer were ok though, as they were seen prancing about the hospital with a almost justified case of 'monkeymania'!
Bill's love for monkeys will be coming to X-Box of course, but PC now as well, as all MS fans will be happy to hear. Microsoft have started working on new exclusives such as Monkey Evolution Soccer, Resident Monkey and Monkey Mansion. Each of the games have been obviously taken from sources that most will be able to identify, but Microsoft are bluntly refusing to admit that the games are not their own work. It is rumoured they have payed off the companies their new games are taken from with hefty sums so that they don't tell the public that their games have been used for monkey-promoting. Silly BILLys. Ahem.
Monkey Evolution Soccer uses the amazing Pro Evo engine but with teams of monkeys, and the challenge in the game is not to let the monkeys dribble over the bananas littered about the field with the ball or they will become hypnotised and unable to play for 30 seconds. This can be a real blow for your team, and a feature that is likely to raise a few eyebrows. Overall though, this game could well be the key football game for the X-Box!
Resident Monkey is set in a unique mansion on the top of the hill near Monkey Town, and will allow gamers to take their anger out on evil zombie monkeys with loads of original weapons created by Gates himself for the game. Resident Monkey will be short, according to Gates, but rest assured, plenty of sequels to this Monkey Scare-'em-Up are in the pipeline.
Monkey Mansion is basically the same as Resident Monkey, but it has more of a childish image and will be bought by gamers who are looking for more of a scary platform adventure than a very scary action shooter. Plenty of difference from Resident Monkey, but in the eyes of many it will be a similar game. Bill has tipped this one to be an essential purchase.
If having his own branch of monkey games wasn't enough, Gates has signed key monkey games and their developers to X-Box from PS2 and GC. LucasArts with Escape From Monkey Island and Sega with Super Monkey Ball are among the culprits who have had their games directly transported onto the X-Box and PC, as the Bill Gates Monkeymania regime trundles on and doesn't look to be coming to a halt.
The future of the X-Box has certainly been given an upwards boost by all this monkeying around, and the PC certainly could use more games with the aspect of monkey fun. Happy memories for PS2 and GC fans will also be the case to do with this new regime by Gates, as they never thought they'd have seen Gates and Balmer jump around on a stage in front of a live audience like a couple of monkeys. Well, Balmer possibly, but the prospect of Gates doing such would've made half of them foam at the mouth. And then it happened. Certainly a memory they'll happy talk about for months or even years to come!
So everyone must now Hail Bill Gates - the True Monkey Lover!
Hope you enjoyed,
AJ.
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Oh yay, it's spoof time....
*Waiting for someone to write about Shigeru Mimyamoto's (sp) keen intrest in ant farms.*
Cheers everyone.
:-)
:-)
Heh, nice one AJ! :D
If the truth be told then 'tis true that these forums as a whole seem to be effected by madness of monkeys... gradually spreading around the whole world. Looks like Gates has it too!
Aha!! That'd explain the price drop!
If the truth be told then 'tis true that these forums as a whole seem to be effected by madness of monkeys... gradually spreading around the whole world. Looks like Gates has it too!
Aha!! That'd explain the price drop!
Semajal wrote:
> wtf is up with the forums and monkeys
---
Nothing really.
Just Bill Gates seems to like them.
> wtf is up with the forums and monkeys
---
Nothing really.
Just Bill Gates seems to like them.
wtf is up with the forums and monkeys
LOL! Great post AJ! That was really, really good!
D
heh, he said monkeys! ;)
D
heh, he said monkeys! ;)
Lol, good post AJ.
I bet you would.
gerrid wrote:
> Wouldn't you like to know
Well, I would like to know actually.
:-)
> Wouldn't you like to know
Well, I would like to know actually.
:-)
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