The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
I will be honest with you, although I have married... I mean watched the Pokemon series on CITV I am practically clueless about Pokemon, also this isn't entirely based on saving Pokemon although each solutions is straight from the heart, sometimes it is hard to demand Pokemon back on the air when I could have a jock strap... I mean a coat rack. When detectives take on a murder case in the heart of Chicago USA they also start off on a hiding to nothing... Not only that but they don't know anything about Pokemon either... Moving swiftly on. I am detective Garbe123 and I have been assigned by the local death... I mean Pokemon squad to rid this town (or forum if you have a life) of all Pokemon haters and breath new life into what is already an ever growing late night channel 5... I mean early morning program struggling to keep viewers interested (this is where the tear gas... I mean beer gas comes in). So if you like Pokemon and you want to save the world from Dr.Evil then rejoice in my top 10 solutions to keeping these little critters alive, remember the world would be a better place... I mean worse place without them!
Solution 1:
First off we need to capture an office block by any means necessary, if that means showing the latest Pokemon episode to get them to flee the building then so be it. To carry out this I will need a group of trust worthy individuals who don't want to make a quick buck but who are willing to brain wash all Pokemon loathers with episodes and lovely figurines designed to make them sick... I mean lick Pikachu's boots and surrender to our evil ways. Just imagine Pikachu in a strip club... Just ignore my brain he likes to think aloud sometimes, and before you ask I do have a talking brain, that should clear up a few things about me being crazy, I mean... the sheer cheek of it to call me crazy, I only talk to animals! Once I have a team rounded up then we will storm the offices of Great Britain and broadcast my hostile takeove... I mean Pokemon revival plans.
Solution 2:
Storming an office could alert a few of those men in blue thingy me jigs and the last thing I want to do is sign autographs, after all I want my plan to be a success and I don't want people to think that I am a pushover, how many of you have ran away from six 5 year olds? I suspect not many, which is an achievement that I am very proud of and no one will take it away from me. Anyway onto the solution, the plan was to storm an old folk’s home take away all their pills and dance around the blister cutting table singing the praises of every Pokemon to ever walk gods green earth. Anyone still interested in this plan? Nope, didn't think so, moving on....
Solution 3:
This will require a few of those technologically minded folk with those new fangled computer devices. My plan was to construct a 100ft tall Pikachu statue with moving parts... Oi take your dirty mind away from Pikachus crotch, I meant his limbs! Once built we can destroy Bangladesh to show that we are serious before moving onto bigger things like the Betty’s beastly pudding factory in west woolly Hampshire, I have heard she makes a mean pudding and that it is known all around the local rubbish tip! With Betty's factory behind us we can produce an endless supply of Pokemon puddings and advertise them as... The Most Punchy Phycadelic Pleasing Pikachu Puddings this side of Woolly Hampshire, you just watch sales rise after that!
Solution 4:
This was more of a spare of the moment thought than a 100% government certified Pokemon solution. We could run into Woolworth’s with a string of Sainsbury’s Skinned Sausages (and beautiful they are may I add) and tell the staff that we are armed with some tasty Sausa... That better not be a moan I here from you budding Pokemon heroes, as soon as they taste those sausages they will believe anything that comes out of our mouths, you mark my words on this one, you mark my words!
Solution 5:
For this you will need... Sorry too much Blue Peter over the years, every time that program came on you needed to have robbed your local Tesco to build even the most basic of objects, that reminds me I must write off to the BBC about Gardeners Wor... Anyway back to the topic at hand. Take one Gold Card from your parent’s wallet, a spoonful of great ideas and a train to your local Special Reserve Ou... I mean Pokemon out let (notice the advertisement ;) *slips snuggly and Schroeder 50p each*). Come to think of it this solution has nothing to do with saving the world, just ignore this solution it resembles about as much to Pokemon as Graham Norton to Rugby!
Solution 6:
I will need volunteers for this solution, one to put my socks on, one to change the light bulb, one to put my tea on and one to kill my mother in-law to be (don't worry I am only 15 but you need to plan ahead :D *ends mother in-law jokes*). On a serious matter I will need one person to cover my escape as I litter the Anti-Pokemon association with bomb... I mean posters and toys direct from Pikachu himself! But don't worry, who ever covers me will have the perfect get away! (I knew that rubber Pokemon dingy that my Nan got me would come in handy). Once we have escaped then we will launch a campaign to ban world peace... I mean ban world Pokemon... I mean rejoice and sing hymns!
Solution 7:
Possibly the weakest of the solutions but it could prove to be the most effective. First off we will capture the American president and demand $100 Billion to be paid to our off shore account in Jersey where it is reported there are another 100,000 people doing the same thing, once we have the president it will only be a matter of time before they give into our plans and give Pikachu his legs back... Well duh, didn't you think of that!
Solution 8:
The president could prove to be an awkward customer and also an easy target to get hold of; I want something more challenging, like the local Pizza delivery boy! With the Pizza delivery boy captured we can eat all of the pizzas from his bike whilst spending all night thinking of solution number 9, this is the best solution I have come up with so far and it isn't like Pokemon is dying fast, is it? (Only prayers will answer that question) With a nice Cheese and Tomato faced Teenage delivery bo... I mean Pizza then the solutions will come knocking on our door! Damn I wish they would accept that I don't want to adopt a wild baby from Western Austria, maybe you could help me tell them :)
Solution 9:
So far all of our plans have involved capturing or storming some place or another, but I bet you hadn't thought of telling the authorities that there is a Nuclear War Head in the shape of Pikachu heading towards Afghanistan.... I mean England then they will agree to my demands and get Pokemon back on air (either way he will be on or in the air). Deciding what to demand is going to prove the hardest task of all, I am in desperate need of some socks without any holes and I would also like the latest Dyson Washing machine, what lucky boy at 15 has one of them I ask you? With my arm twisted behind my back however I may discuss getting Pokemon back on the air, but only if my arm is tied very tight behind my seventh Vertebrae.
Solution 10:
Ah yes, the grand finale of all solutions, the moment you have waited for, the reason why you had 10 kids and named them all Jeremiah, the reason why you left you job to come home early, the reason why you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning, the reason why you wrestled a bear so that you has someone to read this with, the reason why you say the sky is blue and the grass is green (unless of course you have been drinking), the reason why no matter what you will defend Pokemon and kill... I mean say nothing otherwise, the reason why you told your boss Cassandra that she has got more hair on her top lip than an Irish elf, the reason why you called your mother in-law terry and the reason why you want to know the final solution! Well tough, I am sick of doing your dirty work, make up one of your own you lazy lump of Bernard Matthews Turkey!
For those of you who are interested in where I think these crazy ideas from then join the queue, I am first followed by everyone else (apart from Snuggly and Schroeder who are out spending their 50p).
Thanks for Reading!
President Bus... I mean Garbe123
Solution 1:
First off we need to capture an office block by any means necessary, if that means showing the latest Pokemon episode to get them to flee the building then so be it. To carry out this I will need a group of trust worthy individuals who don't want to make a quick buck but who are willing to brain wash all Pokemon loathers with episodes and lovely figurines designed to make them sick... I mean lick Pikachu's boots and surrender to our evil ways. Just imagine Pikachu in a strip club... Just ignore my brain he likes to think aloud sometimes, and before you ask I do have a talking brain, that should clear up a few things about me being crazy, I mean... the sheer cheek of it to call me crazy, I only talk to animals! Once I have a team rounded up then we will storm the offices of Great Britain and broadcast my hostile takeove... I mean Pokemon revival plans.
Solution 2:
Storming an office could alert a few of those men in blue thingy me jigs and the last thing I want to do is sign autographs, after all I want my plan to be a success and I don't want people to think that I am a pushover, how many of you have ran away from six 5 year olds? I suspect not many, which is an achievement that I am very proud of and no one will take it away from me. Anyway onto the solution, the plan was to storm an old folk’s home take away all their pills and dance around the blister cutting table singing the praises of every Pokemon to ever walk gods green earth. Anyone still interested in this plan? Nope, didn't think so, moving on....
Solution 3:
This will require a few of those technologically minded folk with those new fangled computer devices. My plan was to construct a 100ft tall Pikachu statue with moving parts... Oi take your dirty mind away from Pikachus crotch, I meant his limbs! Once built we can destroy Bangladesh to show that we are serious before moving onto bigger things like the Betty’s beastly pudding factory in west woolly Hampshire, I have heard she makes a mean pudding and that it is known all around the local rubbish tip! With Betty's factory behind us we can produce an endless supply of Pokemon puddings and advertise them as... The Most Punchy Phycadelic Pleasing Pikachu Puddings this side of Woolly Hampshire, you just watch sales rise after that!
Solution 4:
This was more of a spare of the moment thought than a 100% government certified Pokemon solution. We could run into Woolworth’s with a string of Sainsbury’s Skinned Sausages (and beautiful they are may I add) and tell the staff that we are armed with some tasty Sausa... That better not be a moan I here from you budding Pokemon heroes, as soon as they taste those sausages they will believe anything that comes out of our mouths, you mark my words on this one, you mark my words!
Solution 5:
For this you will need... Sorry too much Blue Peter over the years, every time that program came on you needed to have robbed your local Tesco to build even the most basic of objects, that reminds me I must write off to the BBC about Gardeners Wor... Anyway back to the topic at hand. Take one Gold Card from your parent’s wallet, a spoonful of great ideas and a train to your local Special Reserve Ou... I mean Pokemon out let (notice the advertisement ;) *slips snuggly and Schroeder 50p each*). Come to think of it this solution has nothing to do with saving the world, just ignore this solution it resembles about as much to Pokemon as Graham Norton to Rugby!
Solution 6:
I will need volunteers for this solution, one to put my socks on, one to change the light bulb, one to put my tea on and one to kill my mother in-law to be (don't worry I am only 15 but you need to plan ahead :D *ends mother in-law jokes*). On a serious matter I will need one person to cover my escape as I litter the Anti-Pokemon association with bomb... I mean posters and toys direct from Pikachu himself! But don't worry, who ever covers me will have the perfect get away! (I knew that rubber Pokemon dingy that my Nan got me would come in handy). Once we have escaped then we will launch a campaign to ban world peace... I mean ban world Pokemon... I mean rejoice and sing hymns!
Solution 7:
Possibly the weakest of the solutions but it could prove to be the most effective. First off we will capture the American president and demand $100 Billion to be paid to our off shore account in Jersey where it is reported there are another 100,000 people doing the same thing, once we have the president it will only be a matter of time before they give into our plans and give Pikachu his legs back... Well duh, didn't you think of that!
Solution 8:
The president could prove to be an awkward customer and also an easy target to get hold of; I want something more challenging, like the local Pizza delivery boy! With the Pizza delivery boy captured we can eat all of the pizzas from his bike whilst spending all night thinking of solution number 9, this is the best solution I have come up with so far and it isn't like Pokemon is dying fast, is it? (Only prayers will answer that question) With a nice Cheese and Tomato faced Teenage delivery bo... I mean Pizza then the solutions will come knocking on our door! Damn I wish they would accept that I don't want to adopt a wild baby from Western Austria, maybe you could help me tell them :)
Solution 9:
So far all of our plans have involved capturing or storming some place or another, but I bet you hadn't thought of telling the authorities that there is a Nuclear War Head in the shape of Pikachu heading towards Afghanistan.... I mean England then they will agree to my demands and get Pokemon back on air (either way he will be on or in the air). Deciding what to demand is going to prove the hardest task of all, I am in desperate need of some socks without any holes and I would also like the latest Dyson Washing machine, what lucky boy at 15 has one of them I ask you? With my arm twisted behind my back however I may discuss getting Pokemon back on the air, but only if my arm is tied very tight behind my seventh Vertebrae.
Solution 10:
Ah yes, the grand finale of all solutions, the moment you have waited for, the reason why you had 10 kids and named them all Jeremiah, the reason why you left you job to come home early, the reason why you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning, the reason why you wrestled a bear so that you has someone to read this with, the reason why you say the sky is blue and the grass is green (unless of course you have been drinking), the reason why no matter what you will defend Pokemon and kill... I mean say nothing otherwise, the reason why you told your boss Cassandra that she has got more hair on her top lip than an Irish elf, the reason why you called your mother in-law terry and the reason why you want to know the final solution! Well tough, I am sick of doing your dirty work, make up one of your own you lazy lump of Bernard Matthews Turkey!
For those of you who are interested in where I think these crazy ideas from then join the queue, I am first followed by everyone else (apart from Snuggly and Schroeder who are out spending their 50p).
Thanks for Reading!
President Bus... I mean Garbe123
Page:
Cheers Dringo and Ultima Weapon!
Excellent Garbe well deserved.
Cheers Afrojoe and Gamezfreak!
It was a struggle to get through the first paragraph with all those clever...sorry, stupid remarks.
Nice idea (sort of), although I didn't think the execution was too hot.
Nice idea (sort of), although I didn't think the execution was too hot.
Well done on the GAD garbe.
El blokey wrote:
> Pff.
---
Hehe.
Limited sense of humour, mate.
SR seem to have a good one, mind.
> Pff.
---
Hehe.
Limited sense of humour, mate.
SR seem to have a good one, mind.
Pff.
Cheers Silent85 and Gamezfreak!
El blokey wrote:
> Well I found that very funny...sorry, I mean not funny at all.
I guess your sense of humour is limited.
Funy Post Garbe.
> Well I found that very funny...sorry, I mean not funny at all.
I guess your sense of humour is limited.
Funy Post Garbe.
Page: