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I just walked home and hardly said a word whilst a million thoughts passed through my head. I'm starting to get annoyed with myself but for some reason I can't be bothered.
I'm usually quite vocal at school... making jokes... discussing things... you know the one that usually starts talks and such. Although this year I've hardly done this. I keep on thinking too much and stuff whilst all my friends of both sexes keep fighting for the stage that is out life... they keep on talking about trivial crap... shoes, hair, gossip and just really stuff that doesn't interest me. Although I'm the youngest out our group I quite modestly think I'm the most mentally mature... I don't care about gossip and rubbish... I want to talk about more intelligent stuff and make more mature/cynical jokes... I do but they hardly listen.
They all think I'm Craig... he's alright, can be quite funny but deep down most couldn't give a damn about me... where I'm opposite and kinda do... I've started to get annoyed with small things like the way they have their own conversations and plans going on without me... when I ask they just shrug and say they thought I don't mind.
They've ben my friends for ages and we got on really well for years but this years different... bah what's the point.
This sucks
> Same old crappy crap... blah blah... who fancies who... I'll sit next
> to you.
I've grown huge paranoia over stuff like this, and it's weird, i always think 'Hey it doesn't matter', but underneath it all, that sort of sad pointless stuff affects me.
Perhaps it's the feeling of rejection, or something like it.
Even the ones who try to be different but aren't
Same old crappy crap... blah blah... who fancies who... I'll sit next to you.
They care about nothing except themsleves and couldn't give a damn about anything else and think educating yourself is some sort of sin.
I'm starting to lose it a bit and it's worrying me :(
I'm really anxious about doing another 1 and a half years of English, and another 2 and a half years of high school. Prelims, exams, study...
I know I'm worried...
God I'm meant to be helping you! :S
I don't really have anything helpful to say cept' things'll pick up when you goto uni.
Don't worry dude.
> You should be alright really, you're a Hunter. All the time, if the
> class was "overflowing" with kids, then they'll knock one or
> two off the end to put in a "special" class.
>
> Oh the joys of being a Williams.
---
Sorry that made me laugh :) Happened to my friend a Wilson
I'll listen to music on bus... go talk to Glasgow Uni people... go buy a sandwhich and read stuff... sit with music on way back... go home.
Easy
Oh the joys of being a Williams.
> Yup, welcome to suckiness.
>
> Give it a year or two, and you'll feel a lot better. :0D Just keep
> thinking. Ooh, and write. Write lots of stuff. And draw. And whatever.
> Do creative stuff, it helps a lot.
----
Funnily enough I've been doing that
Just another example... I'm going to this career day thing tomorrow... ended up I'll be sitting on my own again. I don't mind that much, I like my own company but it's principle. "Oh there's odd number, Craig won't mind being on his own". It's not as if I'm the loner in the group just to make that clear just that.
It's balls :(