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Because I had a ticket, and it seemed like the right thing to do. Despite some big black bloke being in front of me in the queue, I perserved and me and three of my mates ran to Nemesis, laughing at the fat people waddling along. They had "Extreme Upper Body Dimensions" according to Alton Towers. Haha. I wanted someone to shout at them for being fat. But they didn't. So we went on Nemesis 3 times for the hell of it, because queues were short. Got a photo of me in a thoughtful pose, perhaps wondering if we are really here. Actually I was looking at KFC. So then we went on the new ride Air, which is cool, but still full of fat people. Where do they all come from? I swear America ships them over here when they begin to sink. Anyway, we laughed at the people who queue for half an hour extra just to sit at the front. I noticed at least 2 Slipknot hoodies among them. I was tempted to clout them, but I didn't. After Air was time for KFC. Crispy Strips meal, if you're wondering. Which you aren't.
After that the girls skipped to a gay place called Ugland, which is painted pink and yellow and is blatantly where Grix lived. So me and someone else who you don't know so I won't bother saying his name went and bought 10 water ballons and the priveledge of using catapults to lob them at each other. After wasting 2 realised the catapults were crap, we ran around the arena type thing pelting each other with them. Which was nice. Then we went on the GAY GAY GAY Corkscrew. That got boring quickly. So I voted Oblivion because I rule, and everyone followed me. Oh, and I was given a big inflatable club from the water balloon place. I must have won, somehow. So I battered people with that until I got bored about 5 seconds later. After going on Oblivion I have come to the conclusion that it sucks. Its got one big drop and you queue 30 minutes for the priveledge of it. Gay. Black Hole was more fun, but not much. That whole zone pretty much sucks, but it did have another KFC, so I took a Popcorn Chicken box off their hands for the walk to the Log Flume and River Rapids. Girls wearing white tops - excellent. I approve. Then back to Forbidden Valley place for another go on Air, then 3 goes on Ripsaw. Crazy guy who drove it was on his last day at Alton Towers so he didn't bother avoiding the water jets at all and I got drenched. Pah. But on a good note there weren't any Germans there.
Alton Towers rules. I rule. Oh yes.
After that the girls skipped to a gay place called Ugland, which is painted pink and yellow and is blatantly where Grix lived. So me and someone else who you don't know so I won't bother saying his name went and bought 10 water ballons and the priveledge of using catapults to lob them at each other. After wasting 2 realised the catapults were crap, we ran around the arena type thing pelting each other with them. Which was nice. Then we went on the GAY GAY GAY Corkscrew. That got boring quickly. So I voted Oblivion because I rule, and everyone followed me. Oh, and I was given a big inflatable club from the water balloon place. I must have won, somehow. So I battered people with that until I got bored about 5 seconds later. After going on Oblivion I have come to the conclusion that it sucks. Its got one big drop and you queue 30 minutes for the priveledge of it. Gay. Black Hole was more fun, but not much. That whole zone pretty much sucks, but it did have another KFC, so I took a Popcorn Chicken box off their hands for the walk to the Log Flume and River Rapids. Girls wearing white tops - excellent. I approve. Then back to Forbidden Valley place for another go on Air, then 3 goes on Ripsaw. Crazy guy who drove it was on his last day at Alton Towers so he didn't bother avoiding the water jets at all and I got drenched. Pah. But on a good note there weren't any Germans there.
Alton Towers rules. I rule. Oh yes.
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Also they should tell you before you go on Black Hole that it has gay seats and should only be used for couples who like annal sex.
I had no queues because we went on a Scottish holiday when everyone in England was working... YAAAAS
I had no queues because we went on a Scottish holiday when everyone in England was working... YAAAAS
HAH, as long as you got your KFC, see the girls with see-through, I mean white tops on (on a log flume...OO) and didn't walk into any Germans. Fat people...GAH!
Excellent.
You had more fun than me to do, most definetly.
:-)
You had more fun than me to do, most definetly.
:-)
Nemesis and Oblivion are good, but too short. Corkscrew sucks. Not only is it slow and crap but it hurt my head :-(
Nemisis was cool
Oblivian was cool - I was on it during massive hailstones and storm thing it rocked
Corkscrew was crap and rubbish
Never had Air when I was there but a crappy Barney show
The Ghost House thing where you walk about was crap.
Fat people come from KFC
Oblivian was cool - I was on it during massive hailstones and storm thing it rocked
Corkscrew was crap and rubbish
Never had Air when I was there but a crappy Barney show
The Ghost House thing where you walk about was crap.
Fat people come from KFC
Because I had a ticket, and it seemed like the right thing to do. Despite some big black bloke being in front of me in the queue, I perserved and me and three of my mates ran to Nemesis, laughing at the fat people waddling along. They had "Extreme Upper Body Dimensions" according to Alton Towers. Haha. I wanted someone to shout at them for being fat. But they didn't. So we went on Nemesis 3 times for the hell of it, because queues were short. Got a photo of me in a thoughtful pose, perhaps wondering if we are really here. Actually I was looking at KFC. So then we went on the new ride Air, which is cool, but still full of fat people. Where do they all come from? I swear America ships them over here when they begin to sink. Anyway, we laughed at the people who queue for half an hour extra just to sit at the front. I noticed at least 2 Slipknot hoodies among them. I was tempted to clout them, but I didn't. After Air was time for KFC. Crispy Strips meal, if you're wondering. Which you aren't.
After that the girls skipped to a gay place called Ugland, which is painted pink and yellow and is blatantly where Grix lived. So me and someone else who you don't know so I won't bother saying his name went and bought 10 water ballons and the priveledge of using catapults to lob them at each other. After wasting 2 realised the catapults were crap, we ran around the arena type thing pelting each other with them. Which was nice. Then we went on the GAY GAY GAY Corkscrew. That got boring quickly. So I voted Oblivion because I rule, and everyone followed me. Oh, and I was given a big inflatable club from the water balloon place. I must have won, somehow. So I battered people with that until I got bored about 5 seconds later. After going on Oblivion I have come to the conclusion that it sucks. Its got one big drop and you queue 30 minutes for the priveledge of it. Gay. Black Hole was more fun, but not much. That whole zone pretty much sucks, but it did have another KFC, so I took a Popcorn Chicken box off their hands for the walk to the Log Flume and River Rapids. Girls wearing white tops - excellent. I approve. Then back to Forbidden Valley place for another go on Air, then 3 goes on Ripsaw. Crazy guy who drove it was on his last day at Alton Towers so he didn't bother avoiding the water jets at all and I got drenched. Pah. But on a good note there weren't any Germans there.
Alton Towers rules. I rule. Oh yes.
After that the girls skipped to a gay place called Ugland, which is painted pink and yellow and is blatantly where Grix lived. So me and someone else who you don't know so I won't bother saying his name went and bought 10 water ballons and the priveledge of using catapults to lob them at each other. After wasting 2 realised the catapults were crap, we ran around the arena type thing pelting each other with them. Which was nice. Then we went on the GAY GAY GAY Corkscrew. That got boring quickly. So I voted Oblivion because I rule, and everyone followed me. Oh, and I was given a big inflatable club from the water balloon place. I must have won, somehow. So I battered people with that until I got bored about 5 seconds later. After going on Oblivion I have come to the conclusion that it sucks. Its got one big drop and you queue 30 minutes for the priveledge of it. Gay. Black Hole was more fun, but not much. That whole zone pretty much sucks, but it did have another KFC, so I took a Popcorn Chicken box off their hands for the walk to the Log Flume and River Rapids. Girls wearing white tops - excellent. I approve. Then back to Forbidden Valley place for another go on Air, then 3 goes on Ripsaw. Crazy guy who drove it was on his last day at Alton Towers so he didn't bother avoiding the water jets at all and I got drenched. Pah. But on a good note there weren't any Germans there.
Alton Towers rules. I rule. Oh yes.
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