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"Things that define you"

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Mon 12/08/02 at 17:56
Regular
Posts: 787
A lull in today's Waller-sized workload got me thinking - what things define you as a person? Bearing in mind that Pete and Bernie's Philosophical Steakhouse is now closed, can you pin down moments in your life that made you who you are today? Example - what made you listen to the type of you music you listen to? Why do you wear the clothes you do? How did you come to be friends with your friends?

I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
Tue 13/08/02 at 18:33
Regular
"sdomehtongng"
Posts: 23,695
Ooh, defining moments. I can't really say I have too many that are of any importance whatsoever, but there are some things that I remember. Well, one thing right now, but I'll do more later when I get back from playing football.


Back when I was 6, (which was 10 years ago, but I do have a very good memory) I lived in a flat, on the top floor. A man trying to rob us or someone else on my block of flats was up on the roof at the time I was sitting watching TV, and I don't know, even now, what he was doing or trying to do up there, but suddenly, our roof caved in, and the man came crashing through and was knocked out cold. I know I almost definetly wouldn't have laughed back then as I was young, but I certainly would now. I'd also kick the guy. In the face. Hard. Trying to rob me you stupid beggar! :-D We got compensation for it, the guy got jailed, so on and so on.


I'll do some more of these later, but for now I'm off out to play football, and I shall win. :-)
Tue 13/08/02 at 17:19
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Oh yeah, and add going to a different high school from my all friends and being totally alone in a school of almost 1000 to my list. Obviously I was picked on, and it really hit me. I'd never been called names like d*ckhead etc in my life, and suddenly, I was getting abuse every single day. Didn't help that I was good at the lessons, or that I was crap at football (my dad didn't like it, so naturally he never played it with me so I never learnt) It got a little better in year 8, when people got to know me better, but then in year 9 the classes were mixed more (for sets etc) than ever, and it all began again with kids from the other forms. Wasn't until year 10 that I made some real friends and started going out more that I felt more comfortable around the people who used to beat me up and stuff.

I've said it before and I'll say it again (now) - bullying builds character. It shattered my self confidence like you wouldn't believe, and I'm still trying to build it back up by doing Drama and stuff, but it's given me the chance to build myself up the way I want to be. I've seen the way some people are, and where they are now, and by seeing them, I know I need to be different, so I am.
Tue 13/08/02 at 14:19
Posts: 0
Ok, here's something I'm not too comfortable discussing, but here's my emotional side, which you lot don't really see much:

I am probably one of the more emotional people here, and seem to share a common ground with Ant on the shyness thing. When I was younger, I was always the shy kid at school, and it was only this year when my parents split up that I let out all that pent up steam and really became one of the boys. Bear in mind, I'm still quite shy, but am more strong-willed than most people I know, in that I have more pride than most. Like RM18, I won't borrow money or whatever, but part of it is because I think it'll cause them too much trouble and they'll think I'm a nuissance - I'm very self-conscious, especially as I get bullied a terrible lot about my intelligence and because I stand out.

I get depressed very easily, especially after the very messy break-up between my parents, which really upset me, and now I have two parents who are very incompotent at times and don't know what I go through, leading to a time when I sliced my arms with a ball-point pen and I still bear the scars two months later. I think if people knew everything I had to deal with, perhaps they wouldn't bully me. I dunno. As far as bullying goes, ther're damn cowards, and in 10 years, I'll be the one with all the money, whilst they're in the gutters, living in the streets...unless they become a damn Football player...

I never listened to a single piece of music by choice until 1999 - yes, very weird. The first time I heard 'Forgot About Dre' by Eminem, I loved it, and now I have a knowledge of music equivelent to a 25-year old, I'd say. I listen to the music because it gets me pumped up and can get em up when I'm down - I was born to rock. Angry music is for angry people, so that surely tells you something about me and my character - I'm angry with society, the way they treat me and the way they treat other people. As for society in general, shove it, I don't care. I'm unpopular, and I like it that way, I'm not a sell-out to my friends, and never will be. To me, popular people are my enemies, because they're the ones who ridicule the most. I don't want to be popular, I'm fine, just the way I am thanks. I normally wear black clothes, and it's a statement: I don't sell-out to fashion, like most other people. Whenever I see someone in black or plain walking down the street, it kinda bring a smile to my face, knowing that in a way, he is not an enemy, but a brother. As for my friends, we either all share an interest in music or games.
Tue 13/08/02 at 13:54
Regular
"Orbiting Uranus"
Posts: 5,665
This thread seems to be a goog way of getting to know a bit about everyone.
so, some things that have shaped me:

When I was 17 i stopped eating for about 6 months and lost 3 stone in weight getting down to about 8 stone. I thought that I looked great, but everyone else thought that I was too thin. As a result of not eating I caught Viral Meningitus, Which made me really sick for 4 weeks, I can't really remember it though, bacuse I was too Ill. I will never ever stop eating again, being seriously ill was too scarey, I did find out who my friends were though because loads of people came to visit me. My Booyfriend at the time sat up with me every night while I was ill, but then I soon as I was better he left me for his ex-fiance. which was a bit odd. After that I came down with post viral depression, which was like nothing but a huge a blackness. I couldn't do anything and I didn't see the point in doing anything. I passed though and i feel a stronger person for having gone through that.

Shortley after that My Best Friend was nearly sent to prison for stabbing someone. He had been coming home from a party quite drunk when some guy started coming on to him strongly. My friend is really homophobic (because of abuse he suffered at the hands of his step-father), and so he satabbed the guy outside his house with a kitchen knife. My friend got off though because the guy was a known trouble causer in the area, but we all went through quite a bad time while we waited to find out what would happen.

Both of these event strengthened friendships that are still in place today :)

About two years ago i was in a car accident on the way down to Devon. I thought that I was going to die. I remeber thinking so this is it, I'm going to die now. I wasn't that bothered at the time, but since then i have become really scared of dying. I went through a period of going to an anglican/babtist church in sheffield, but to be honest it was a bit scarey, people through their hands up in the air and clap and sing loudly, one girl went into convultions in front of me which had me a bit worried. Really outgoing churches like that make me embarassed and uncomfortable, and since then I am sorry to say that my faith has lapsed, which makes me even more terrified of dying.

I met my boyfriend while I was at university, we hit it off immediatley and it was he who introduced me properly to heavy metal music (of which i am now an avid fan), our first date was to a Cradle of Filth concert, which was awsome. I am still with my boyfriend, we have been together for 3 and a half years, and we hope to be getting married not too far in the future :)

Another event which really shaped my future was at a parents evening for my GCSEs when my Biology teacher told me that i would never pass my Biology GCSE. Another biology teacher overheard and took me to one side, she told me that she would really help me, by showing me which parts of the sillabus I really needed to work on. Since then I have taken Biology A-Level, done a degree in Biomedical Science and i now work as Cancer Research Technician. I really wish that I could thank that teacher :)

anyway there are some ramblings from my life
Ros
Tue 13/08/02 at 10:43
Regular
"¬_¬"
Posts: 3,110
My defining moments?

Nothing really 'defining' in the sense that that's who I am, but there are some things which shaped me to what I am today:

When I was six or seven, living in New Zealand, I used to love riding my bike. You know how it is, when you'd just learnt, and spend every waking hour cycling up and down the footpath. Well, I lived in Auckland, on the coast, so it was very hilly. Opposite my house was another road, which ran straight ahead from where I lived, then turned right up a really steep hill. One day, me and my French neighbour 'Loic' went riding down this hill. I'm not too sure what happened, because I lost my memory, but I'm told I tried to imitate my friend (who was 6 years older than me) and got knocked out. Because, at the bend where the road starts to go uphill, there is a fence along the footpath, blocking a fall down a small cliff to houses below. Apparently, I was racing down, hit the curb, flew off a literally fell down the cliff. It wasn't really a 'cliff', but more a 5 meter high wall, with a drive coming down. I was knocked out and still have the scar.

I learnt never to be careless when I was 10. It was the last day of term - the LAST day. Since it was primary school, and we only had one class, we were stacking all the furniture in the middle of the class for summer. Well, I was helping my mate move a filing cabinet, one of those tall metal ones which echo when they're opened. We took all the drawers out, and moved it. As we were moving it, my leg scraped along the corner of one of these drawers, and opened a massive gash in my leg at least 1cm deep. All because I couldn't be bothered to move the drawer out the way.

I also found that everybody will be friendly to you, if you're friendly back. This was when my dad went on sabbatical to Germany for 8 months, and we all went to. I learnt that, whatever language somebody speaks and wherever they're from, they're still people and have human tendencies. We lived in a massive old building, which used to be a hospital but had been converted into luxury apartments. I had a friend in those apartments. Guess where he was from. Mongolia. Couldn't speak a word of English or German, and I couldn't speak a word of Mongolian or German. And we got along great.

And from my experience in Germany, I learnt to hate prejudice. Nothing angers me more than somebody presuming all foreigners are alike. I found that when we lived in America in 1998. Americans are nice people, they're friendly, trustworthy and there are as many fat people there as there are here. I learnt that, despite their jugelist government, Americans are perfectly normal people. Same with Germans. Even so, there are plenty of people who want to 'bomb the bloody yanks' or 'kill those nazis'. Hate it. Shaped me into who I am today.

But most of all, I really had to learn how to adjust to different places. I lived in New Zealand up until two years ago, when I moved to England. Before that, I'd lived in Germany, America, and England before then (for a year). It's been very hard making lasting friendships - when I revisited New Zealand this Easter I felt very awkward meeting my friends again. I've learned to value the friendships I do have, no matter how tenuous.

And I wear the clothes I wear because they look nice. I don't want to advertise anything, and I wear what I have. The fact that I wear a half-life t-shirt has only come about because I won it in a competition. Other than that, I advertise no company, no brand names. And the music I like is partly because my friends like it as well, but mainly because I just think metal and rock, rocks. It doesn't mean all my friends have to be like that - my best friend listens to hip hop.
Tue 13/08/02 at 01:11
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Moments that define who I am today...hmmmm...

Car Accident:
Gave me an understanding of life that I couldn't have had before, and is common to those that survive near death experiences - a total disinterest in things that don't appeal to me.
I have no career plan, no pension, no savings and no idea what I should be doing outside of music.
And I love it. Not interested in family/house/career/car blah blah blah.
Say what I want when I want and couldn't care less about the outcomes because life can end tomorrow and will do for someone.
So why waste it today?
Not in a cheesy Hallmark "I looked at the birds today and wrote a poem" crap, just the knowledge that despite all your well-laid plans it could be over in 10 minutes from now for you.

Abusive Stepfather:
Taught me things about life you don't learn from school/college/books/tv.
Some people are evil, regardless of what you do or say.
Evil exists.
But also made me who I am. I will not tolerate bullying/threatening behaviour from anybody.
I don't care how big you are or how many there are of you, the gift of fury is far greater than your strength and if I see you giving anyone hassle I will destroy you - without hesitation or worry.
Happens on the tube, drunk blokes being mouthy to a woman.
Everyone puts their head down and ignores it but I won't, I'll get in your face before you know what hit you.
It's not being "hard", it's sticking up for someone because you never know when you'll need it yourself, and sometimes there isn't anyone to protect you and that's the loneliest feeling on this planet - to need help and to not get it.

Playing the drums:
Always wanted to since I was a kid. Taught myself and played in some rubbish college bands but I did it.
Am now in one of the best unsigned bands around and you *will* hear about us, I promise.
I can take jokes about anything except my drumming, because I'm damned good at it and if you ever see me playing, I give it 100% because I belong up there pounding away.
It gave me the confidence to talk to anyone, because after playing in front of 400 people it's not hard to speak to a single person.

Suicidal Tendencies:
An LA skatecore band that had a song called "Can't Bring Me Down" - the 1st song I felt that was written for me and me alone.
It defines me totally and perfectly.

Realising I'm not crap:
Be it music, writing or wooing the ladies. I have realised that I am bloody good at what I set my mind to and make the most of it.
I may not look like much, but I have it where it counts
*taps chest* In here.
A fire that can never be put out, a passion for music/life that is bigger than this planet

My mates:
Because without them I have nobody to rely on and nobody to fight for.
You are your friends and you can judge yourself by the company you keep.
I love my mates without question or judgement.

Hearing Bill Hicks for the 1st time:
A man that spoke outloud my secret and special thoughts.

----

That's enough for now.
A few moments/things that make Goatboy who he is.
Mon 12/08/02 at 21:31
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
Hmmm

At primary school all the boys in the class would go around in a big group all the time... I was actually one of the most popular people in my class, mainly because I was good at football. However, after the years past I got tired of this and noticed that the more popular people were the more moronic they were and had 'greater power' just because they were popular. This made me into this "ooh everyone should be equal crap and such".

So I eventually told them all to get lost and went to Secondary School with a handful of friends. Only one of my friends was in my class and he left to England in first month so I was on my own in this class, which by the way was apparently one of the worst classes ever in school history except me and two people. That year of needing to make new friends and put up with the worst people imaginable made me into a stronger person or something like that.

Err I wear plain clothes because I used to wear lots of logo stuff to avoid getting made fun of... I looked stupid in clothes and they cost so much for you to advertise them... so one day I noticed this... think I was 13... gave all my clothes to little brother and asked mum and dad to buy me new stuff... which came to small price.

I like my music because it's the best. Well really my dad had quite cool taste in music and I grew up listening to his stuff... I thought I never liked music until I was 13/14 when my mate borrowed me The Bends by Radiohead and that was it... music fanatic... went and bought loads of CD's and now play my geetar.

And I also blame my humour and cyical/sarcastic ways on a childhood of suffering from migranes and insomnia which messed me up... could be worse though. My parents rock and thats why I rule and have all my morals. So my parents rule. That's all for now.
Mon 12/08/02 at 19:21
Regular
Posts: 15,579
I always liked to intimidate people at school...

Mainly to do with England and football.

I used to wear the flag of any country England were playing on the back of my bag. Heh

Stopped doing that about 5 years ago and just stick with Argentina these days.

Another thing was at college not too long ago. Was sitting down in the canteen with a few people and I was saying to my mate "Leon man, your never gonna die! your like invinsible man!" That was rather stupid at the time considering the girl sitting next to me had lost her mum to cancer...

Really watch what i say these days...
Mon 12/08/02 at 19:09
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Oh, and I became "self aware" when I was about 12/13, when I realised I had control over who I was about to become. I became a lot friendlier, a lot less cocky, and probably less intelligent when that happened, heh

I'm the man I am now because I started thinking about life all of a sudden when I hit high school (not literally)
Mon 12/08/02 at 19:05
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Um, I wear these clothes (plain white or black t-shirts and jeans) because I don't suit v-necks or designs on my stuff. I'm friends with my mate Wal because we sat next to each other in Geography in year 10, with my mate Fos because on New Year's Eve 1999, there was a street party in my street, and he was the only person there my age, so we hung around and got drunk that night. I'm can be shy sometimes because I hate being shouted at or ridiculed, much like Ant. If I feel confident around certain people, I'm a completely different person, but if someone doesn't like me, or I don't like them, I usually keep quiet

What else...? Um, I'm also a failure at 6th form and school because I knocked off too much, heh

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