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I was in the local phone box (around here we call them emergency toilets) when I saw a couple of cards pinned up. I scanned across them and among the ‘Phone Mystique you dirty boy’ cards I saw a nice little white and red one. I looked at it and funnily enough I saw a Special Reserve logo scribbled onto the front. As well as this logo (which I could only make out to be some sort of splat) was a phone number. I rang it as a prank call. Some one answered…
Hybrid: Mystique baby!!! Hi!
Me: Eh?
Hybrid: Hang on a sec, unless Mystiques voice has got higher then your not Mystique.
Me: Higher you say? This must be one butch woman.
Hybrid: Oh yeah, she sure…I mean, Oi! How dare you! Stop doing these
prank calls. How would you like it having to sit in a padded cell all day taking calls from morons asking about why their copy of Final Fantasy X has coffee stains all over it?
Me: I would like it.
Hybrid: Ok, you come to Harlow and you can go on the phone lines for the day!
So I did…
First call…
Reddy: Hi it’s Reddy here.
Me: Um, hello.
Reddy: Don’t you get all nice with me!
Me: Fine.
Reddy: My Crazy Taxi copy doesn’t work!
Me: And?
Reddy: And, I want you to do something about it.
Me: Bye.
Reddy: Come on! I aint been banned for 99 days!
Me: Bye.
Reddy: You’ll be hearing from Chris!
Me: Chris?
Reddy: Don’t get all smart with me loser! Chris is my monkey. (Cow noises in the background) I have to go, he wants feeding.
Second call…
J Savo: Mumblehiiiserehellomumble.
Me: You what?!?!
J Savo: Mumbleitismemumble
Me: OK, I’m afraid I don’t have Harlow Hospitals number.
J Savo: (Womans voice in background- “Darling you have the phone upside down.”) Oh thank you mummy darling.
Me: OK, now we know which way to hold a phone, can you get on with the question?
J Savo: Hewwo, it’s wegarding the Game A Day compwetition. How come I didn’t win? My post had 30 more weplies than that silly man Mr RM18’s.
Me: We don’t dish out games to losers that post why stupid bands with bearded Muppets as their lead singers (Nickelback) are the best bands in the world.
J Savo: Waah! Mummy!
Third call…
Lord H: You stink!
Me: Pardon?
Lord H: Screw the world!! Life sucks!! You should all drink urine, losers!!
Me: Why you little…
Lord H: Screw you. You all hate me, I hate you!! Stupid Quinty!!
Me: Hang on a sec. Whats Quinty got to do with this?
Lord H: Screw Quinty!! Screw the world!! Life sucks!! You should all drink urine, losers!!
Fourth call:
Asher D: Hi, the nice people at Game told me that I should get Jet Ion GP. Do you have it?
Me: No, don’t be stupid.
Asher D: You mean you have actually sold some copies!?!
Me: Yes, we even occasionally sell Xbox’s here. Rarely.
Asher D: So can I buy it?
Me: No, like I said, we don’t have it.
Asher D: Wha…..
Me: You heard, get back into your cell!
Asher D: I have a gun and I am not scared to use it.
Me: I know, I do read the papers.
Fifth call:
Me: Hello?
Mystique: Hello Hybry Dybry. Your voice sounds rough today, just how I like it!
Me: (I played along) Well Heeello. (Hybrid: Gimme that phone now!) Wha…
Hybrid: Hello, (Puts down phone) Nath get stuffed.
Mystique: What’s happened? You don’t sound as macho as a few seconds ago…
So that was the last call I took. Hybrid and Mystique were on the phone the rest of the day so I couldn’t get close. But as well as those calls there were a few others, so here goes some special mentions.
AfroJoe- Asked if we stock Haggis. I said ‘no’ but managed to flog him a tartan kilt instead. He was well impressed.
Mattt (Hercules)- Wanted to know if Schroeder was there. I said ‘no, could I take a message?’ but he didn’t have time. He’d already been away from his computer for two minutes.
Shaneo- Yes. Dave his ‘friend’ faxed me his picture and scared half the staff to death. So I did this (copy the link).
www.geocities.com/natbuc1/shaneo.html
Remember, this is the SR forums supposed worst enemy. How I laughed.
The Flying Hawkster- Wanted to know if the new 15 year deal with Tony Hawk and Activision was real. When I said yes he pre-ordered all 15 next-gen Tony Hawk games. Wonderful.
Rickoss- Wondered if we had a spare projector he could have cheap.
er-no- Wanted to know if he could come and film himself jumping off the top of the headquarters…nude. Tony wouldn’t approve.
Mrs Snuggly- Snuggly forgot his lunch...purposely… so he had an excuse to go to McDonalds to get the last Happy Meal toy. Mrs Snuggly was not impressed.
DW- Continuously kept asking if he could have a stupid SRW forum. What is he fed on!?!?
Meka Dragon- For some reason he rang up to claim his GAD. There was some confusion on which GAD it was he was claiming, his 71st or his 72nd?
ShadowDragon- Wondered if he could borrow Loki for his next spoof. Loki said ‘no’, he hates Kilroy
Mandatare- Was angry at a JAT that stole his name. Wanted me to tell him who it was. I laughed in his face.
Nh- Also angry at a certain JAT. Told him this was nothing to be ringing customer services about and banned him.
Major Chip Hazard- Rang me up and told me he loved me. I was scared; I locked the doors and windows.
PS2_Proud- Read above. Where do they get these people from?
Rosalind- Told me she was scared of the staring sexist faces in GameStation so she ordered from us.
Goatboy- Wanted to ask my expert opinion on how good Prisoner Of War is. I told him it was good, and prayed.
Ant- Rang up because he felt left out of the spoof.
So there you go. All in a days work for the SR staff. Lucky them.
Thanks for reading,
Nath.
Hybrid: Mystique baby!!! Hi!
Me: Eh?
Hybrid: Hang on a sec, unless Mystiques voice has got higher then your not Mystique.
Me: Higher you say? This must be one butch woman.
Hybrid: Oh yeah, she sure…I mean, Oi! How dare you! Stop doing these
prank calls. How would you like it having to sit in a padded cell all day taking calls from morons asking about why their copy of Final Fantasy X has coffee stains all over it?
Me: I would like it.
Hybrid: Ok, you come to Harlow and you can go on the phone lines for the day!
So I did…
First call…
Reddy: Hi it’s Reddy here.
Me: Um, hello.
Reddy: Don’t you get all nice with me!
Me: Fine.
Reddy: My Crazy Taxi copy doesn’t work!
Me: And?
Reddy: And, I want you to do something about it.
Me: Bye.
Reddy: Come on! I aint been banned for 99 days!
Me: Bye.
Reddy: You’ll be hearing from Chris!
Me: Chris?
Reddy: Don’t get all smart with me loser! Chris is my monkey. (Cow noises in the background) I have to go, he wants feeding.
Second call…
J Savo: Mumblehiiiserehellomumble.
Me: You what?!?!
J Savo: Mumbleitismemumble
Me: OK, I’m afraid I don’t have Harlow Hospitals number.
J Savo: (Womans voice in background- “Darling you have the phone upside down.”) Oh thank you mummy darling.
Me: OK, now we know which way to hold a phone, can you get on with the question?
J Savo: Hewwo, it’s wegarding the Game A Day compwetition. How come I didn’t win? My post had 30 more weplies than that silly man Mr RM18’s.
Me: We don’t dish out games to losers that post why stupid bands with bearded Muppets as their lead singers (Nickelback) are the best bands in the world.
J Savo: Waah! Mummy!
Third call…
Lord H: You stink!
Me: Pardon?
Lord H: Screw the world!! Life sucks!! You should all drink urine, losers!!
Me: Why you little…
Lord H: Screw you. You all hate me, I hate you!! Stupid Quinty!!
Me: Hang on a sec. Whats Quinty got to do with this?
Lord H: Screw Quinty!! Screw the world!! Life sucks!! You should all drink urine, losers!!
Fourth call:
Asher D: Hi, the nice people at Game told me that I should get Jet Ion GP. Do you have it?
Me: No, don’t be stupid.
Asher D: You mean you have actually sold some copies!?!
Me: Yes, we even occasionally sell Xbox’s here. Rarely.
Asher D: So can I buy it?
Me: No, like I said, we don’t have it.
Asher D: Wha…..
Me: You heard, get back into your cell!
Asher D: I have a gun and I am not scared to use it.
Me: I know, I do read the papers.
Fifth call:
Me: Hello?
Mystique: Hello Hybry Dybry. Your voice sounds rough today, just how I like it!
Me: (I played along) Well Heeello. (Hybrid: Gimme that phone now!) Wha…
Hybrid: Hello, (Puts down phone) Nath get stuffed.
Mystique: What’s happened? You don’t sound as macho as a few seconds ago…
So that was the last call I took. Hybrid and Mystique were on the phone the rest of the day so I couldn’t get close. But as well as those calls there were a few others, so here goes some special mentions.
AfroJoe- Asked if we stock Haggis. I said ‘no’ but managed to flog him a tartan kilt instead. He was well impressed.
Mattt (Hercules)- Wanted to know if Schroeder was there. I said ‘no, could I take a message?’ but he didn’t have time. He’d already been away from his computer for two minutes.
Shaneo- Yes. Dave his ‘friend’ faxed me his picture and scared half the staff to death. So I did this (copy the link).
www.geocities.com/natbuc1/shaneo.html
Remember, this is the SR forums supposed worst enemy. How I laughed.
The Flying Hawkster- Wanted to know if the new 15 year deal with Tony Hawk and Activision was real. When I said yes he pre-ordered all 15 next-gen Tony Hawk games. Wonderful.
Rickoss- Wondered if we had a spare projector he could have cheap.
er-no- Wanted to know if he could come and film himself jumping off the top of the headquarters…nude. Tony wouldn’t approve.
Mrs Snuggly- Snuggly forgot his lunch...purposely… so he had an excuse to go to McDonalds to get the last Happy Meal toy. Mrs Snuggly was not impressed.
DW- Continuously kept asking if he could have a stupid SRW forum. What is he fed on!?!?
Meka Dragon- For some reason he rang up to claim his GAD. There was some confusion on which GAD it was he was claiming, his 71st or his 72nd?
ShadowDragon- Wondered if he could borrow Loki for his next spoof. Loki said ‘no’, he hates Kilroy
Mandatare- Was angry at a JAT that stole his name. Wanted me to tell him who it was. I laughed in his face.
Nh- Also angry at a certain JAT. Told him this was nothing to be ringing customer services about and banned him.
Major Chip Hazard- Rang me up and told me he loved me. I was scared; I locked the doors and windows.
PS2_Proud- Read above. Where do they get these people from?
Rosalind- Told me she was scared of the staring sexist faces in GameStation so she ordered from us.
Goatboy- Wanted to ask my expert opinion on how good Prisoner Of War is. I told him it was good, and prayed.
Ant- Rang up because he felt left out of the spoof.
So there you go. All in a days work for the SR staff. Lucky them.
Thanks for reading,
Nath.
Page:
Thanks you lot. I personally didn't think it was funny but I am going to say it is as I dont wanna stoop to Lord H's level.
Yeah, well written. Congratulations on the ineviatable GAD, unless you really upset someone at SR, that is...
The RING RING series is mine.
I will allow this to pass.
;-)
Great topic.
I will allow this to pass.
;-)
Great topic.
LOL! Great Nath I loved my part
And Chris says thanks to ;)
And Chris says thanks to ;)
Nice one Natbuc. I never get a mention in these things. Maybe I should develop a more noticeable and crowd pleasing personality.
[breaks chair over Lord H's head]
Ha ha ha ha ha! [bows]
[breaks chair over Lord H's head]
Ha ha ha ha ha! [bows]
LOL! Brilliant Nath. :-D
I don't Hybrid will be happy about that though :-)
I don't Hybrid will be happy about that though :-)
Meh - Good man Nath !!!
Banned ! - banned !
I'll sort you out later my son !!
Banned ! - banned !
I'll sort you out later my son !!
Excellenté.
Kilt and haggis my @r$e.
:D
Kilt and haggis my @r$e.
:D
I was in the local phone box (around here we call them emergency toilets) when I saw a couple of cards pinned up. I scanned across them and among the ‘Phone Mystique you dirty boy’ cards I saw a nice little white and red one. I looked at it and funnily enough I saw a Special Reserve logo scribbled onto the front. As well as this logo (which I could only make out to be some sort of splat) was a phone number. I rang it as a prank call. Some one answered…
Hybrid: Mystique baby!!! Hi!
Me: Eh?
Hybrid: Hang on a sec, unless Mystiques voice has got higher then your not Mystique.
Me: Higher you say? This must be one butch woman.
Hybrid: Oh yeah, she sure…I mean, Oi! How dare you! Stop doing these
prank calls. How would you like it having to sit in a padded cell all day taking calls from morons asking about why their copy of Final Fantasy X has coffee stains all over it?
Me: I would like it.
Hybrid: Ok, you come to Harlow and you can go on the phone lines for the day!
So I did…
First call…
Reddy: Hi it’s Reddy here.
Me: Um, hello.
Reddy: Don’t you get all nice with me!
Me: Fine.
Reddy: My Crazy Taxi copy doesn’t work!
Me: And?
Reddy: And, I want you to do something about it.
Me: Bye.
Reddy: Come on! I aint been banned for 99 days!
Me: Bye.
Reddy: You’ll be hearing from Chris!
Me: Chris?
Reddy: Don’t get all smart with me loser! Chris is my monkey. (Cow noises in the background) I have to go, he wants feeding.
Second call…
J Savo: Mumblehiiiserehellomumble.
Me: You what?!?!
J Savo: Mumbleitismemumble
Me: OK, I’m afraid I don’t have Harlow Hospitals number.
J Savo: (Womans voice in background- “Darling you have the phone upside down.”) Oh thank you mummy darling.
Me: OK, now we know which way to hold a phone, can you get on with the question?
J Savo: Hewwo, it’s wegarding the Game A Day compwetition. How come I didn’t win? My post had 30 more weplies than that silly man Mr RM18’s.
Me: We don’t dish out games to losers that post why stupid bands with bearded Muppets as their lead singers (Nickelback) are the best bands in the world.
J Savo: Waah! Mummy!
Third call…
Lord H: You stink!
Me: Pardon?
Lord H: Screw the world!! Life sucks!! You should all drink urine, losers!!
Me: Why you little…
Lord H: Screw you. You all hate me, I hate you!! Stupid Quinty!!
Me: Hang on a sec. Whats Quinty got to do with this?
Lord H: Screw Quinty!! Screw the world!! Life sucks!! You should all drink urine, losers!!
Fourth call:
Asher D: Hi, the nice people at Game told me that I should get Jet Ion GP. Do you have it?
Me: No, don’t be stupid.
Asher D: You mean you have actually sold some copies!?!
Me: Yes, we even occasionally sell Xbox’s here. Rarely.
Asher D: So can I buy it?
Me: No, like I said, we don’t have it.
Asher D: Wha…..
Me: You heard, get back into your cell!
Asher D: I have a gun and I am not scared to use it.
Me: I know, I do read the papers.
Fifth call:
Me: Hello?
Mystique: Hello Hybry Dybry. Your voice sounds rough today, just how I like it!
Me: (I played along) Well Heeello. (Hybrid: Gimme that phone now!) Wha…
Hybrid: Hello, (Puts down phone) Nath get stuffed.
Mystique: What’s happened? You don’t sound as macho as a few seconds ago…
So that was the last call I took. Hybrid and Mystique were on the phone the rest of the day so I couldn’t get close. But as well as those calls there were a few others, so here goes some special mentions.
AfroJoe- Asked if we stock Haggis. I said ‘no’ but managed to flog him a tartan kilt instead. He was well impressed.
Mattt (Hercules)- Wanted to know if Schroeder was there. I said ‘no, could I take a message?’ but he didn’t have time. He’d already been away from his computer for two minutes.
Shaneo- Yes. Dave his ‘friend’ faxed me his picture and scared half the staff to death. So I did this (copy the link).
www.geocities.com/natbuc1/shaneo.html
Remember, this is the SR forums supposed worst enemy. How I laughed.
The Flying Hawkster- Wanted to know if the new 15 year deal with Tony Hawk and Activision was real. When I said yes he pre-ordered all 15 next-gen Tony Hawk games. Wonderful.
Rickoss- Wondered if we had a spare projector he could have cheap.
er-no- Wanted to know if he could come and film himself jumping off the top of the headquarters…nude. Tony wouldn’t approve.
Mrs Snuggly- Snuggly forgot his lunch...purposely… so he had an excuse to go to McDonalds to get the last Happy Meal toy. Mrs Snuggly was not impressed.
DW- Continuously kept asking if he could have a stupid SRW forum. What is he fed on!?!?
Meka Dragon- For some reason he rang up to claim his GAD. There was some confusion on which GAD it was he was claiming, his 71st or his 72nd?
ShadowDragon- Wondered if he could borrow Loki for his next spoof. Loki said ‘no’, he hates Kilroy
Mandatare- Was angry at a JAT that stole his name. Wanted me to tell him who it was. I laughed in his face.
Nh- Also angry at a certain JAT. Told him this was nothing to be ringing customer services about and banned him.
Major Chip Hazard- Rang me up and told me he loved me. I was scared; I locked the doors and windows.
PS2_Proud- Read above. Where do they get these people from?
Rosalind- Told me she was scared of the staring sexist faces in GameStation so she ordered from us.
Goatboy- Wanted to ask my expert opinion on how good Prisoner Of War is. I told him it was good, and prayed.
Ant- Rang up because he felt left out of the spoof.
So there you go. All in a days work for the SR staff. Lucky them.
Thanks for reading,
Nath.
Hybrid: Mystique baby!!! Hi!
Me: Eh?
Hybrid: Hang on a sec, unless Mystiques voice has got higher then your not Mystique.
Me: Higher you say? This must be one butch woman.
Hybrid: Oh yeah, she sure…I mean, Oi! How dare you! Stop doing these
prank calls. How would you like it having to sit in a padded cell all day taking calls from morons asking about why their copy of Final Fantasy X has coffee stains all over it?
Me: I would like it.
Hybrid: Ok, you come to Harlow and you can go on the phone lines for the day!
So I did…
First call…
Reddy: Hi it’s Reddy here.
Me: Um, hello.
Reddy: Don’t you get all nice with me!
Me: Fine.
Reddy: My Crazy Taxi copy doesn’t work!
Me: And?
Reddy: And, I want you to do something about it.
Me: Bye.
Reddy: Come on! I aint been banned for 99 days!
Me: Bye.
Reddy: You’ll be hearing from Chris!
Me: Chris?
Reddy: Don’t get all smart with me loser! Chris is my monkey. (Cow noises in the background) I have to go, he wants feeding.
Second call…
J Savo: Mumblehiiiserehellomumble.
Me: You what?!?!
J Savo: Mumbleitismemumble
Me: OK, I’m afraid I don’t have Harlow Hospitals number.
J Savo: (Womans voice in background- “Darling you have the phone upside down.”) Oh thank you mummy darling.
Me: OK, now we know which way to hold a phone, can you get on with the question?
J Savo: Hewwo, it’s wegarding the Game A Day compwetition. How come I didn’t win? My post had 30 more weplies than that silly man Mr RM18’s.
Me: We don’t dish out games to losers that post why stupid bands with bearded Muppets as their lead singers (Nickelback) are the best bands in the world.
J Savo: Waah! Mummy!
Third call…
Lord H: You stink!
Me: Pardon?
Lord H: Screw the world!! Life sucks!! You should all drink urine, losers!!
Me: Why you little…
Lord H: Screw you. You all hate me, I hate you!! Stupid Quinty!!
Me: Hang on a sec. Whats Quinty got to do with this?
Lord H: Screw Quinty!! Screw the world!! Life sucks!! You should all drink urine, losers!!
Fourth call:
Asher D: Hi, the nice people at Game told me that I should get Jet Ion GP. Do you have it?
Me: No, don’t be stupid.
Asher D: You mean you have actually sold some copies!?!
Me: Yes, we even occasionally sell Xbox’s here. Rarely.
Asher D: So can I buy it?
Me: No, like I said, we don’t have it.
Asher D: Wha…..
Me: You heard, get back into your cell!
Asher D: I have a gun and I am not scared to use it.
Me: I know, I do read the papers.
Fifth call:
Me: Hello?
Mystique: Hello Hybry Dybry. Your voice sounds rough today, just how I like it!
Me: (I played along) Well Heeello. (Hybrid: Gimme that phone now!) Wha…
Hybrid: Hello, (Puts down phone) Nath get stuffed.
Mystique: What’s happened? You don’t sound as macho as a few seconds ago…
So that was the last call I took. Hybrid and Mystique were on the phone the rest of the day so I couldn’t get close. But as well as those calls there were a few others, so here goes some special mentions.
AfroJoe- Asked if we stock Haggis. I said ‘no’ but managed to flog him a tartan kilt instead. He was well impressed.
Mattt (Hercules)- Wanted to know if Schroeder was there. I said ‘no, could I take a message?’ but he didn’t have time. He’d already been away from his computer for two minutes.
Shaneo- Yes. Dave his ‘friend’ faxed me his picture and scared half the staff to death. So I did this (copy the link).
www.geocities.com/natbuc1/shaneo.html
Remember, this is the SR forums supposed worst enemy. How I laughed.
The Flying Hawkster- Wanted to know if the new 15 year deal with Tony Hawk and Activision was real. When I said yes he pre-ordered all 15 next-gen Tony Hawk games. Wonderful.
Rickoss- Wondered if we had a spare projector he could have cheap.
er-no- Wanted to know if he could come and film himself jumping off the top of the headquarters…nude. Tony wouldn’t approve.
Mrs Snuggly- Snuggly forgot his lunch...purposely… so he had an excuse to go to McDonalds to get the last Happy Meal toy. Mrs Snuggly was not impressed.
DW- Continuously kept asking if he could have a stupid SRW forum. What is he fed on!?!?
Meka Dragon- For some reason he rang up to claim his GAD. There was some confusion on which GAD it was he was claiming, his 71st or his 72nd?
ShadowDragon- Wondered if he could borrow Loki for his next spoof. Loki said ‘no’, he hates Kilroy
Mandatare- Was angry at a JAT that stole his name. Wanted me to tell him who it was. I laughed in his face.
Nh- Also angry at a certain JAT. Told him this was nothing to be ringing customer services about and banned him.
Major Chip Hazard- Rang me up and told me he loved me. I was scared; I locked the doors and windows.
PS2_Proud- Read above. Where do they get these people from?
Rosalind- Told me she was scared of the staring sexist faces in GameStation so she ordered from us.
Goatboy- Wanted to ask my expert opinion on how good Prisoner Of War is. I told him it was good, and prayed.
Ant- Rang up because he felt left out of the spoof.
So there you go. All in a days work for the SR staff. Lucky them.
Thanks for reading,
Nath.
Page: