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"Character jumble up!"

One day in computer game land, every character from every game ever made, were all walking down a long peaceful country road, all arm in arm. Among them was the likes of Solid Snake, Mario, Lara Croft, and Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately the peaceful country road was no longer peaceful. After getting excited by Tina out of Dead Or Alive, Taz started doing his usual tornado spin. A massive wind was created and all the characters were suddenly flung into the air, and, unfortunately they all landed in a blender. So I suddenly leaped out of the bush from were I was hid and tried to rescue them all. After all, who would star in all the games now? So, I put on my rubber gloves, felt around in the sludgy mess, and eventually found what looked like the nose of Sonic.

After this discovery, I decided Sonic was the first character that I would resurrect. So out came my sewing kit. Finally, after hours of trying to thread the cotton through the needle, I was ready. I plunged my hand once more into the mangled mess. I could see Pikachu and Pikmins, Lara and Luigi, and the decapitated limbs of Solid Snake. Eventually I thought I had found Sonics arm. I was wrong. I didn’t realise this straight away. In fact I didn’t realise the mess I was making out all the characters. What had I done?! I had created my very own messed up creations out of all the characters bits. ‘Am I a genius?’ I thought to myself as I looked at one of the creations. Maybe. Either way, I decided to write to the games developers and tell them the mess I had caused. First though, I took my creations and made them do several tasks to see how they performed. I noted down the most significant creations, and for your eyes only, I present to you my wonderful creations!


*Mario-onic Snakéchu*

Head- Solid Snake
Upper body- Solid Snake
Arms- Solid Snake
Legs- Mario
Feet- Sonic
Brain- Pikachu


This one was starting off ok. I had managed to get the whole of the upper part of Solid Snake assembled correctly. However, when it came to his legs I somehow managed to mistake macho Snakes thighs with puny plumber Mario’s tiny stumps. Oh dear. And you thought that was bad! Then I accidentally got Mario’s shoes mixed up with Sonics trainers! Despite now having the fastest feet in the west, the character wouldn’t move though. I looked inside the head and realised it had no brain so I implanted the nearest one I could find, Pikachu’s. It sprung to life. Now I tested it.

As soon as I let it out of it’s cage, it burst into to a fit of ‘Pika Pika’s in a low grisly voice! Oh hell. Then, suddenly the creation sprung forward, feet going like lighting. It was out of control! The stupid thing was flipping all over the place bouncing off every tree nearby. Then if that wasn’t enough, the manic beast snuck up behind a balaclava wearing Old Lady and snapped her neck with a loud crack! This was crazy. Time to put it away I think.

Verdict- It’s certainly a lively beast. That’s not surprising considering it has Pikachu’s lively brain, Sonics fast feet, and Mario’s back flipping legs. However, not only is it fast and lively, its also pretty tough. Those Snake arms are still eager to snap necks, and also Snakes strength and tough attitude is still apparent. Also the ‘Pika Pika’s in Snakes low voice is something to scare any gaming villain.

Final word- Four of the best gaming characters were sacrificed for this creation, but it certainly shows. It has many strengths, but may be a bit hard to handle. A hit providing you can control it.


*Lara Bandicootidus*

Head- Crash Bandicoot
Upper body- Lara Croft
Arms- Tidus (Final Fantasy X)
Legs- Tidus
Feet- Tidus
Brain- Crash Bandicoot

Somehow when assembling Lara I was distracted. Can’t think how, but what I do know is that it made me totally mess up another character. That’s right, stupid old me plonked Crash Bandicoots head onto, err, Lara’s ‘upper body’. Suddenly the thing started spinning in a mad crazed manner. I had to hold it down. It was going wild. In a panicked manner I grabbed the nearest legs I could find, and surprisingly enough, they were the wrong ones. As they were stitched in place, the creature sprung into the air and landed in the nearby pond. It said “I want arms, them ones there,” So I did what it said and attached the arms. Another one was complete. Testing time.

Before opening the cage I expected the creation to come spinning out in a fast fury. Instead it came out on all fours sniffing the ground. I watched as it sniffed out something blue in a bush. Then as I saw the object I instantly realised it was a Blitzball out of Final Fantasy X. It then sprung into the lake and started bouncing the ball up and down on its snout. Suddenly I noticed that its attention was turned away from the ball. It was looking at a duck. At that moment it pulled two pistols out of its long baggy shorts, put on some round sunglasses, and started blasting the pants of the duck (Well it would have if the duck were wearing pants. I don’t think it was.) ‘Holy poo’ I thought. I quickly grabbed the beast and put it back in its cage.

Verdict- Has a liking for water sports, especially Final Fantasy X’s Blitzball. Again, like the other creation it’s lively and is excellent at fast spinning moves. Also it has a trigger-happy attitude, something that Ms. Croft is famous for, and it’s good at distracting enemies with rather large…things.

Final word- An odd creation, very human like in looks, apart from the head, but has a wild attitude. An excellent combination.


So you’ve heard about my new creations. Well, they’re the good ones. Unfortunately they aren’t all great. For example, Sarge out of Army Men isn’t much good with Spyro’s head. He just melts. And Lemmings mixed with Klonoa was a no no. Lemmings like to end their lives. I’m sure they don’t want 9 lives like a cat has.

So there you go. It’s amazing what happens when you mix one character with another. Were they better? Were they worse?

Thanks for reading,
Nath.

We had the worst weather ever last night :O

It was thunder and lighting, but seriuosly there was like one flash every 3 seconds and it was constant thunder. Loads of ace forks to watch (stainless steel) and our garden flooded. It was flipping humid and the storm lasted from 6pm til 3am in the morning. :D

This hot weather meant I didn't sleep very well last night so I'm even slower than normal !!!

Anyway - better get on with some work now. :-(

Laterz...

Now you get it :D

Sorry - I though you meant nobody had replied to the original question in your post.

Ahh - Urine.... Uurrgghhhh...

Na†ßu© wrote:
> Yeah because we all know what colour the notable name is

This is the question.

Oh yeah - there's a question.


Erm - Better !!

;-)

Heh heh :D Good one. No one has answered my question yet though.

With all that pant wetting maybe he will be a floatable instead

Yeah because we all know what colour the notable name is :D
Thanks :D

So let me get this straight Mand, Natbuc will officially be the next notable for wetting his pants on toca?

:)