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Okay, this is a send-up of Metal Gear Solid 2 and what may go on within the closely guarded walls of the Hideo Kojima HQ. Chances are, to fully understand this, you’ll have to be an MGS2 fanatic like me, but read through, and some feedback on my hard work would be nice. I hope you get a bit of a laugh from it anyway.
------------------------------------------------
NOTE
This story is entirely fictional. Any and all similarities to real life are purely coincidental.
NOTE #2:
It is strongly recommended that you complete the two games (extensively) and watch the making of MGS2 DVD before you read this. That way, it will be easier for you to see what the writers originally intended.
------------------------------------------------
Mr Kojima:
Hi! My name is – Hoh! – My name is – Over there? – My name is Mr Mr Kojima
[bow].
Mr Interviewer:
Er.. yes.
Mr Kojima:
Aha! You jest my fair interviewer! But I am serious. Deadly serious.
Mr Shinkawa:
Ya! You do not want to suffer the wrath of Mr Kojima [bow]. He is the sun, you know.
Mr Interviewer:
I was wondering why I had to shield my eyes from him.
Mr Shinkawa:
Ah, no. You shield your eyes from him because you are not worthy to observe the honourable Mr Kojima’s [bow] beauty.
Mr Kojima:
Send a replacement interviewer for the area!
Mr Interviewer 2:
Hi! It’s Raiden!
Mr Fukushima:
Where did Mr Interviewer go?
Mr Raiden:
Who the hell is that?
Mr Kojima:
Ah, another of my honourable minions.
Mr Fukushima:
That’s right Hideo!
Mr Kojima:
Argh! Quiet! Only my mother may call me Hideo at 6:00PM on Sundays! You will call me Mr Kojima and bow promptly!
Mr Fukushima:
Yes Mr Kojima [bow]!
Mr Raiden:
I like him, but he’s not a patch on Rose.
Mr Shinkawa:
Er.. Raiden? Rose is a woman.
Mr Raiden:
She is?! Damn!! [Bangs head on wall with noisy parakeet on shoulder]
Mr Kojima:
Aha yes! I see Rose as my ideal woman! And Raiden as my ideal beautiful young man! And the noisy parakeet as my ideal noisy parakeet!
Mr Narrator from free DVD:
Yes, and when it comes to sexy characters, I think you’ll agree, there’s none sexier than Mr Kojima [bow].
Mr Kojima:
Woah buddy! That is not the Solid Snake we’re talking about, put that away!
Mr Interviewer:
So, Mr Kojima [bow], h.. You hear something?
Mr Shinkawa:
Yes. Something under there?
Mr Fukushima:
Under where?
Mr Shinkawa:
How dare you be so rude!
Mr Character who was a major part in MGS1 but was mysteriously absent in
MGS2:
[Jumps out] Hi! I’m Meryl!
Mr Snake:
A woman?!
Mrs Meryl:
Yeah! I’m here with Emma!
Mr Snake:
Another woman?!
Mr Raiden:
I was surprised too! I thought she was a mermaid by now. Emma’s a mermaid?!
Mrs Emma:
No, Raiden, I’m not a mermaid. The truth is I only just remembered it myself!
Mr Raiden:
I see.. well, that’s a valid point.
Mr Snake:
No! That is not a valid point! Stop impersonating one!
Mr Colonel:
I don’t understand you Raaaiiiden.
Mr Raiden:
Well of course you don’t, you’re a computer program.
Mr Colonel:
[Sniff – starts to cry][Blows up]
Mr Fatman formerly known as the artist:
[Looks at name] How dare you! I’m an artist! [Chucks wine glass to floor in rage]
Mr Scott Dolph:
Identify yourself!
Mr Fatman:
I am Fatman, also called Shalashaska, also known as Revolver Ocelot, and on Friday nights, Princess Kashmeen!
Mr Kojima:
Excuse me! Is this not MY interview? I demand to be spoken to!
Mr Interviewer:
Okay then, so Mr..
Mr Kojima:
No! I’m fine now! You continue! I’m fine by myself! [Plays with Lego and dinosaur toys]
Mr Herman The Happy Snail:
Yo guys! Wassup! [Is crushed by Raiden]
Mrs Rose:
Was that you Jack? I loved that little guy!
Mr Raiden:
I MADE love to that little guy!
Mr Colonel:
Rose, his handle is Raiden, could you please call him that?
Mrs Rose:
Sure! Jack, there’s something I have to tell you.
Mr Colonel:
Why do I even bother? [Sniff – starts to cry][Blows up]
Mrs Rose:
Jack.. I’m your cousin.
Mrs Meryl:
And I’m your Ma!
Mr Shinkawa:
Wait! Mr Kojima [bow], that doesn’t make sense.
Mr Kojima:
Neither does the whole plot, but we kept it anyway.
Mr Raiden:
Rose is my cousin, Meryl’s my Ma.. Who am I really?
Mr Snake:
No one quite knows who or what they are.
Mr Raiden:
Snake! [Sneezes dementedly]
Mr Snake:
Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing.
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Excellent speech my friend.
Mr Snake:
Wait! I’ve still got hours of pointless material to ramble on about!
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Gift of the..
Mr Snake:
We need to pass the torch..
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Silver tongue..
Mr Snake:
I’m trying to say something meaningful here!
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
They say it’s.. Argh! This arm! Get out of my mind Fatman, Shalashaska, Princess Kashmeen and Liquid!
Mr Interviewer:
Er.. so anyway.. Mr Kojima [bow], why not tell us about your music career?
Mr Kojima:
Ah yes! Such hits like ‘Voulez vous a Japanese games festival avec moi, ce soir?’ - my duo with Mr Shinkawa. It went to No. 42 in the Yemenese Japanese Games Creator’s Chart.
Mr Interviewer:
Oh, such days, Mr Kojima [bow], such good days… Well, there you have it. What goes on inside the Konami headquarters, produced in a very subtle (so subtle that it isn’t) song.
THE END
Mr Kojima Will Return
------------------------------------------------
NOTE
This story is entirely fictional. Any and all similarities to real life are purely coincidental.
NOTE #2:
It is strongly recommended that you complete the two games (extensively) and watch the making of MGS2 DVD before you read this. That way, it will be easier for you to see what the writers originally intended.
------------------------------------------------
Mr Kojima:
Hi! My name is – Hoh! – My name is – Over there? – My name is Mr Mr Kojima
[bow].
Mr Interviewer:
Er.. yes.
Mr Kojima:
Aha! You jest my fair interviewer! But I am serious. Deadly serious.
Mr Shinkawa:
Ya! You do not want to suffer the wrath of Mr Kojima [bow]. He is the sun, you know.
Mr Interviewer:
I was wondering why I had to shield my eyes from him.
Mr Shinkawa:
Ah, no. You shield your eyes from him because you are not worthy to observe the honourable Mr Kojima’s [bow] beauty.
Mr Kojima:
Send a replacement interviewer for the area!
Mr Interviewer 2:
Hi! It’s Raiden!
Mr Fukushima:
Where did Mr Interviewer go?
Mr Raiden:
Who the hell is that?
Mr Kojima:
Ah, another of my honourable minions.
Mr Fukushima:
That’s right Hideo!
Mr Kojima:
Argh! Quiet! Only my mother may call me Hideo at 6:00PM on Sundays! You will call me Mr Kojima and bow promptly!
Mr Fukushima:
Yes Mr Kojima [bow]!
Mr Raiden:
I like him, but he’s not a patch on Rose.
Mr Shinkawa:
Er.. Raiden? Rose is a woman.
Mr Raiden:
She is?! Damn!! [Bangs head on wall with noisy parakeet on shoulder]
Mr Kojima:
Aha yes! I see Rose as my ideal woman! And Raiden as my ideal beautiful young man! And the noisy parakeet as my ideal noisy parakeet!
Mr Narrator from free DVD:
Yes, and when it comes to sexy characters, I think you’ll agree, there’s none sexier than Mr Kojima [bow].
Mr Kojima:
Woah buddy! That is not the Solid Snake we’re talking about, put that away!
Mr Interviewer:
So, Mr Kojima [bow], h.. You hear something?
Mr Shinkawa:
Yes. Something under there?
Mr Fukushima:
Under where?
Mr Shinkawa:
How dare you be so rude!
Mr Character who was a major part in MGS1 but was mysteriously absent in
MGS2:
[Jumps out] Hi! I’m Meryl!
Mr Snake:
A woman?!
Mrs Meryl:
Yeah! I’m here with Emma!
Mr Snake:
Another woman?!
Mr Raiden:
I was surprised too! I thought she was a mermaid by now. Emma’s a mermaid?!
Mrs Emma:
No, Raiden, I’m not a mermaid. The truth is I only just remembered it myself!
Mr Raiden:
I see.. well, that’s a valid point.
Mr Snake:
No! That is not a valid point! Stop impersonating one!
Mr Colonel:
I don’t understand you Raaaiiiden.
Mr Raiden:
Well of course you don’t, you’re a computer program.
Mr Colonel:
[Sniff – starts to cry][Blows up]
Mr Fatman formerly known as the artist:
[Looks at name] How dare you! I’m an artist! [Chucks wine glass to floor in rage]
Mr Scott Dolph:
Identify yourself!
Mr Fatman:
I am Fatman, also called Shalashaska, also known as Revolver Ocelot, and on Friday nights, Princess Kashmeen!
Mr Kojima:
Excuse me! Is this not MY interview? I demand to be spoken to!
Mr Interviewer:
Okay then, so Mr..
Mr Kojima:
No! I’m fine now! You continue! I’m fine by myself! [Plays with Lego and dinosaur toys]
Mr Herman The Happy Snail:
Yo guys! Wassup! [Is crushed by Raiden]
Mrs Rose:
Was that you Jack? I loved that little guy!
Mr Raiden:
I MADE love to that little guy!
Mr Colonel:
Rose, his handle is Raiden, could you please call him that?
Mrs Rose:
Sure! Jack, there’s something I have to tell you.
Mr Colonel:
Why do I even bother? [Sniff – starts to cry][Blows up]
Mrs Rose:
Jack.. I’m your cousin.
Mrs Meryl:
And I’m your Ma!
Mr Shinkawa:
Wait! Mr Kojima [bow], that doesn’t make sense.
Mr Kojima:
Neither does the whole plot, but we kept it anyway.
Mr Raiden:
Rose is my cousin, Meryl’s my Ma.. Who am I really?
Mr Snake:
No one quite knows who or what they are.
Mr Raiden:
Snake! [Sneezes dementedly]
Mr Snake:
Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing.
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Excellent speech my friend.
Mr Snake:
Wait! I’ve still got hours of pointless material to ramble on about!
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Gift of the..
Mr Snake:
We need to pass the torch..
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Silver tongue..
Mr Snake:
I’m trying to say something meaningful here!
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
They say it’s.. Argh! This arm! Get out of my mind Fatman, Shalashaska, Princess Kashmeen and Liquid!
Mr Interviewer:
Er.. so anyway.. Mr Kojima [bow], why not tell us about your music career?
Mr Kojima:
Ah yes! Such hits like ‘Voulez vous a Japanese games festival avec moi, ce soir?’ - my duo with Mr Shinkawa. It went to No. 42 in the Yemenese Japanese Games Creator’s Chart.
Mr Interviewer:
Oh, such days, Mr Kojima [bow], such good days… Well, there you have it. What goes on inside the Konami headquarters, produced in a very subtle (so subtle that it isn’t) song.
THE END
Mr Kojima Will Return
Page:
I'll base the sequel on MGS1 and MGS2: Substance
Thanks for the appreciation guys.
I wanted to get it just right, and I thought including Decoy Octopus would elongate the story slightly. Maybe the sentence 'Mr Kojima Will Return' hints at a sequel?
I wanted to get it just right, and I thought including Decoy Octopus would elongate the story slightly. Maybe the sentence 'Mr Kojima Will Return' hints at a sequel?
He He He
Still, No Mr Decoy Octopus :(
Still, No Mr Decoy Octopus :(
Okay, this is a send-up of Metal Gear Solid 2 and what may go on within the closely guarded walls of the Hideo Kojima HQ. Chances are, to fully understand this, you’ll have to be an MGS2 fanatic like me, but read through, and some feedback on my hard work would be nice. I hope you get a bit of a laugh from it anyway.
------------------------------------------------
NOTE
This story is entirely fictional. Any and all similarities to real life are purely coincidental.
NOTE #2:
It is strongly recommended that you complete the two games (extensively) and watch the making of MGS2 DVD before you read this. That way, it will be easier for you to see what the writers originally intended.
------------------------------------------------
Mr Kojima:
Hi! My name is – Hoh! – My name is – Over there? – My name is Mr Mr Kojima
[bow].
Mr Interviewer:
Er.. yes.
Mr Kojima:
Aha! You jest my fair interviewer! But I am serious. Deadly serious.
Mr Shinkawa:
Ya! You do not want to suffer the wrath of Mr Kojima [bow]. He is the sun, you know.
Mr Interviewer:
I was wondering why I had to shield my eyes from him.
Mr Shinkawa:
Ah, no. You shield your eyes from him because you are not worthy to observe the honourable Mr Kojima’s [bow] beauty.
Mr Kojima:
Send a replacement interviewer for the area!
Mr Interviewer 2:
Hi! It’s Raiden!
Mr Fukushima:
Where did Mr Interviewer go?
Mr Raiden:
Who the hell is that?
Mr Kojima:
Ah, another of my honourable minions.
Mr Fukushima:
That’s right Hideo!
Mr Kojima:
Argh! Quiet! Only my mother may call me Hideo at 6:00PM on Sundays! You will call me Mr Kojima and bow promptly!
Mr Fukushima:
Yes Mr Kojima [bow]!
Mr Raiden:
I like him, but he’s not a patch on Rose.
Mr Shinkawa:
Er.. Raiden? Rose is a woman.
Mr Raiden:
She is?! Damn!! [Bangs head on wall with noisy parakeet on shoulder]
Mr Kojima:
Aha yes! I see Rose as my ideal woman! And Raiden as my ideal beautiful young man! And the noisy parakeet as my ideal noisy parakeet!
Mr Narrator from free DVD:
Yes, and when it comes to sexy characters, I think you’ll agree, there’s none sexier than Mr Kojima [bow].
Mr Kojima:
Woah buddy! That is not the Solid Snake we’re talking about, put that away!
Mr Interviewer:
So, Mr Kojima [bow], h.. You hear something?
Mr Shinkawa:
Yes. Something under there?
Mr Fukushima:
Under where?
Mr Shinkawa:
How dare you be so rude!
Mr Character who was a major part in MGS1 but was mysteriously absent in
MGS2:
[Jumps out] Hi! I’m Meryl!
Mr Snake:
A woman?!
Mrs Meryl:
Yeah! I’m here with Emma!
Mr Snake:
Another woman?!
Mr Raiden:
I was surprised too! I thought she was a mermaid by now. Emma’s a mermaid?!
Mrs Emma:
No, Raiden, I’m not a mermaid. The truth is I only just remembered it myself!
Mr Raiden:
I see.. well, that’s a valid point.
Mr Snake:
No! That is not a valid point! Stop impersonating one!
Mr Colonel:
I don’t understand you Raaaiiiden.
Mr Raiden:
Well of course you don’t, you’re a computer program.
Mr Colonel:
[Sniff – starts to cry][Blows up]
Mr Fatman formerly known as the artist:
[Looks at name] How dare you! I’m an artist! [Chucks wine glass to floor in rage]
Mr Scott Dolph:
Identify yourself!
Mr Fatman:
I am Fatman, also called Shalashaska, also known as Revolver Ocelot, and on Friday nights, Princess Kashmeen!
Mr Kojima:
Excuse me! Is this not MY interview? I demand to be spoken to!
Mr Interviewer:
Okay then, so Mr..
Mr Kojima:
No! I’m fine now! You continue! I’m fine by myself! [Plays with Lego and dinosaur toys]
Mr Herman The Happy Snail:
Yo guys! Wassup! [Is crushed by Raiden]
Mrs Rose:
Was that you Jack? I loved that little guy!
Mr Raiden:
I MADE love to that little guy!
Mr Colonel:
Rose, his handle is Raiden, could you please call him that?
Mrs Rose:
Sure! Jack, there’s something I have to tell you.
Mr Colonel:
Why do I even bother? [Sniff – starts to cry][Blows up]
Mrs Rose:
Jack.. I’m your cousin.
Mrs Meryl:
And I’m your Ma!
Mr Shinkawa:
Wait! Mr Kojima [bow], that doesn’t make sense.
Mr Kojima:
Neither does the whole plot, but we kept it anyway.
Mr Raiden:
Rose is my cousin, Meryl’s my Ma.. Who am I really?
Mr Snake:
No one quite knows who or what they are.
Mr Raiden:
Snake! [Sneezes dementedly]
Mr Snake:
Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing.
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Excellent speech my friend.
Mr Snake:
Wait! I’ve still got hours of pointless material to ramble on about!
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Gift of the..
Mr Snake:
We need to pass the torch..
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Silver tongue..
Mr Snake:
I’m trying to say something meaningful here!
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
They say it’s.. Argh! This arm! Get out of my mind Fatman, Shalashaska, Princess Kashmeen and Liquid!
Mr Interviewer:
Er.. so anyway.. Mr Kojima [bow], why not tell us about your music career?
Mr Kojima:
Ah yes! Such hits like ‘Voulez vous a Japanese games festival avec moi, ce soir?’ - my duo with Mr Shinkawa. It went to No. 42 in the Yemenese Japanese Games Creator’s Chart.
Mr Interviewer:
Oh, such days, Mr Kojima [bow], such good days… Well, there you have it. What goes on inside the Konami headquarters, produced in a very subtle (so subtle that it isn’t) song.
THE END
Mr Kojima Will Return
------------------------------------------------
NOTE
This story is entirely fictional. Any and all similarities to real life are purely coincidental.
NOTE #2:
It is strongly recommended that you complete the two games (extensively) and watch the making of MGS2 DVD before you read this. That way, it will be easier for you to see what the writers originally intended.
------------------------------------------------
Mr Kojima:
Hi! My name is – Hoh! – My name is – Over there? – My name is Mr Mr Kojima
[bow].
Mr Interviewer:
Er.. yes.
Mr Kojima:
Aha! You jest my fair interviewer! But I am serious. Deadly serious.
Mr Shinkawa:
Ya! You do not want to suffer the wrath of Mr Kojima [bow]. He is the sun, you know.
Mr Interviewer:
I was wondering why I had to shield my eyes from him.
Mr Shinkawa:
Ah, no. You shield your eyes from him because you are not worthy to observe the honourable Mr Kojima’s [bow] beauty.
Mr Kojima:
Send a replacement interviewer for the area!
Mr Interviewer 2:
Hi! It’s Raiden!
Mr Fukushima:
Where did Mr Interviewer go?
Mr Raiden:
Who the hell is that?
Mr Kojima:
Ah, another of my honourable minions.
Mr Fukushima:
That’s right Hideo!
Mr Kojima:
Argh! Quiet! Only my mother may call me Hideo at 6:00PM on Sundays! You will call me Mr Kojima and bow promptly!
Mr Fukushima:
Yes Mr Kojima [bow]!
Mr Raiden:
I like him, but he’s not a patch on Rose.
Mr Shinkawa:
Er.. Raiden? Rose is a woman.
Mr Raiden:
She is?! Damn!! [Bangs head on wall with noisy parakeet on shoulder]
Mr Kojima:
Aha yes! I see Rose as my ideal woman! And Raiden as my ideal beautiful young man! And the noisy parakeet as my ideal noisy parakeet!
Mr Narrator from free DVD:
Yes, and when it comes to sexy characters, I think you’ll agree, there’s none sexier than Mr Kojima [bow].
Mr Kojima:
Woah buddy! That is not the Solid Snake we’re talking about, put that away!
Mr Interviewer:
So, Mr Kojima [bow], h.. You hear something?
Mr Shinkawa:
Yes. Something under there?
Mr Fukushima:
Under where?
Mr Shinkawa:
How dare you be so rude!
Mr Character who was a major part in MGS1 but was mysteriously absent in
MGS2:
[Jumps out] Hi! I’m Meryl!
Mr Snake:
A woman?!
Mrs Meryl:
Yeah! I’m here with Emma!
Mr Snake:
Another woman?!
Mr Raiden:
I was surprised too! I thought she was a mermaid by now. Emma’s a mermaid?!
Mrs Emma:
No, Raiden, I’m not a mermaid. The truth is I only just remembered it myself!
Mr Raiden:
I see.. well, that’s a valid point.
Mr Snake:
No! That is not a valid point! Stop impersonating one!
Mr Colonel:
I don’t understand you Raaaiiiden.
Mr Raiden:
Well of course you don’t, you’re a computer program.
Mr Colonel:
[Sniff – starts to cry][Blows up]
Mr Fatman formerly known as the artist:
[Looks at name] How dare you! I’m an artist! [Chucks wine glass to floor in rage]
Mr Scott Dolph:
Identify yourself!
Mr Fatman:
I am Fatman, also called Shalashaska, also known as Revolver Ocelot, and on Friday nights, Princess Kashmeen!
Mr Kojima:
Excuse me! Is this not MY interview? I demand to be spoken to!
Mr Interviewer:
Okay then, so Mr..
Mr Kojima:
No! I’m fine now! You continue! I’m fine by myself! [Plays with Lego and dinosaur toys]
Mr Herman The Happy Snail:
Yo guys! Wassup! [Is crushed by Raiden]
Mrs Rose:
Was that you Jack? I loved that little guy!
Mr Raiden:
I MADE love to that little guy!
Mr Colonel:
Rose, his handle is Raiden, could you please call him that?
Mrs Rose:
Sure! Jack, there’s something I have to tell you.
Mr Colonel:
Why do I even bother? [Sniff – starts to cry][Blows up]
Mrs Rose:
Jack.. I’m your cousin.
Mrs Meryl:
And I’m your Ma!
Mr Shinkawa:
Wait! Mr Kojima [bow], that doesn’t make sense.
Mr Kojima:
Neither does the whole plot, but we kept it anyway.
Mr Raiden:
Rose is my cousin, Meryl’s my Ma.. Who am I really?
Mr Snake:
No one quite knows who or what they are.
Mr Raiden:
Snake! [Sneezes dementedly]
Mr Snake:
Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing.
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Excellent speech my friend.
Mr Snake:
Wait! I’ve still got hours of pointless material to ramble on about!
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Gift of the..
Mr Snake:
We need to pass the torch..
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
Silver tongue..
Mr Snake:
I’m trying to say something meaningful here!
Mr Revolver Ocelot:
They say it’s.. Argh! This arm! Get out of my mind Fatman, Shalashaska, Princess Kashmeen and Liquid!
Mr Interviewer:
Er.. so anyway.. Mr Kojima [bow], why not tell us about your music career?
Mr Kojima:
Ah yes! Such hits like ‘Voulez vous a Japanese games festival avec moi, ce soir?’ - my duo with Mr Shinkawa. It went to No. 42 in the Yemenese Japanese Games Creator’s Chart.
Mr Interviewer:
Oh, such days, Mr Kojima [bow], such good days… Well, there you have it. What goes on inside the Konami headquarters, produced in a very subtle (so subtle that it isn’t) song.
THE END
Mr Kojima Will Return
Page: