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"Gaming Hell"

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Fri 12/07/02 at 18:06
Regular
Posts: 787
Gamers are in genre heaven at this point in the gaming timeline. There’s every sim’ you can think of, any sport, arcade games, racers, shoot ‘em ups, beat ‘em ups, wash ‘em ups.. well, maybe not yet. You can bet though that you’ll find at least something you enjoy. There’s one thing, though, that all of these games have in common – they hurt.

Of course, it’s not the actual game that hurts you – we’re a few light years away from achieving that goal, it’s the battle of wits between you and your console. If you lose you kick the radiator, punch the wall, or simply roll over and start banging your head on the floor – and it hurts. Let me give you an example:

It’s 22:00, you’ve been playing this game all day, your eyes water and bulge and your sweaty and aching thumbs move over the buttons placed on the controller in – as you’ve confirmed in your mind – really stupid places. It’s level 100, just the final boss to go, the one thing standing in the way of you completing the game on Extra Ultra Extreme mode. Yes! Just one more punch and you’re going to do it, just one more, don’t mess up now, just one more.. What was that? The sword came out of nowhere, a quick stab to the heart and you’re down. It’s over. You lost. You start to anger, you can feel it boiling up inside you. Now it’s gone back to just a 20 minute level and a really rubbish boss standing in your way. He beat you, but he’s still the rubbish one. He cheated anyway. You begin to calm down when the words ‘Game Over’ flash across the screen, read out by a voice with a somewhat mocking tone. That was it. You snap. How dare they? You hurl your controller to the floor in rage and kick it a good few times across the room before kicking the television – hard.. and it hurts.

Catch my drift? We’ve all been there. Well, apart from the super-human breed of ‘sensible’ gamers who say enough is enough, turn off the console and do something else. As I see it, there are two types of gamers. The ‘addicted’ gamer, who keeps going and going, and the ‘sensible’ gamer who possesses some kind of powerful skill, which makes life a lot more ‘cost-effective’, especially where controllers are concerned. As for me, I’d say that I’m of the addicted group, along with almost everyone I know.

So, unfortunately, if you’re an addict, you’ll somehow find a flaw in every single game, be continually using plasters for those cut knuckles and sprained toes and go through controllers like there’s no tomorrow. If you’re sensible count your lucky stars, blessings or whatever, ‘cause nothing’s going to annoy you. Why does it agitate you though? Too many people go through it for it to be just the person. Maybe it’s that we’re a nation of –aholics and addicts or maybe it’s something in the game. You buy it to have fun. If it’s not possible, it’s not fun, and it annoys you. Maybe when Electronic Arts say ‘it’s in the game’, it’s something sinister and evil. Whatever it is though, it works, and is damn good at it.

I have not yet found one game that doesn’t agitate the hell out of me in some way – even the really good ones. Metal Gear Solid 2 suddenly becomes the worst game in the world when you can’t defeat Solidus on European Extreme mode and Grand Theft Auto makes you actually want to grab an M16 and go on a rampage through the nearby town. It really puzzles me as to what is in each individual game that can annoy me to the point of pain, and if anyone has any theories, post them quick, so a vaccine can be developed. Until then, watch what you play, ‘cause the games are out to hurt you.
Sat 13/07/02 at 20:43
Regular
"how long have i got"
Posts: 386
SolidSnakeXXI wrote:
> I'm wondering whether or not to get a £120.00 tennis raquet
> (racket/raquet, whatever) or save for some decent games.

i would buy games cos the little sibs will destroy your tennis raquet, and/or will probably delete the game off your memory card but hey, there little sibs they do that
Sat 13/07/02 at 20:47
Regular
Posts: 13,611
Nah, my brother isn't as bad as that. Plus, I already have a tennis game. I'll close this sporting point quickly as we are straying off the topic - I'll think about it.
Sat 13/07/02 at 20:49
Posts: 0
Mind you, if you did buy the tennis racket, you could throw it at the TV in anger after it hurts you from you kicking it...! =o)
Sat 13/07/02 at 20:51
Regular
Posts: 13,611
Lol, and then it would hit the TV in the sweet spot and bounce back and hit me in the face.
Sat 13/07/02 at 20:53
Posts: 0
Yeah, proof that games can hurt you even if you try to take revenge!
Sat 13/07/02 at 21:31
Regular
Posts: 13,611
Just think, inside every GTA3 disc, there's a little Mafia boss planning his next attack on you.
Sun 14/07/02 at 12:57
Regular
"how long have i got"
Posts: 386
SolidSnakeXXI wrote:
> Just think, inside every GTA3 disc, there's a little Mafia boss
> planning his next attack on you.

i dont think so SSXXI, i is a game
Sun 14/07/02 at 13:10
Regular
Posts: 13,611
J Savo wrote:
> SolidSnakeXXI wrote:
> Just think, inside every GTA3 disc, there's a little Mafia boss
> planning his next attack on you.
>
> i dont think so SSXXI, i is a game

Lol, I know what you mean, but that was an amusing typo.
Sun 14/07/02 at 19:52
Regular
"how long have i got"
Posts: 386
i was in the middle of a game and my dog came along and chewed on the wire and the power got cut off by him.

i booted him but he is OK, didn't get a lecky shock or nothin' he's just limping
Sun 14/07/02 at 21:02
Regular
Posts: 13,611
Yep, Pets, Sibs, anything can trigger an outbreak of ranting and raving. I entered the web address from the 'most addictive online game ever' thread and withing minutes I was punching my screen in fury.

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