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"The Plot - A Story"

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Tue 09/07/02 at 08:58
Regular
Posts: 787
I hope you like the story. It's my first big one, so excuse tense/spelling errors
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
We all thought it was a masterful plan. We could help the world simply by ending a few lives. It appeared to be quite a simple job, and we just had to time it right. But we were wrong, and unfortunately, hadn't anticipated the a few of the enemy forces...

Monday 11:00pm

It was late, but it was only now that the select few had started to gather, to discuss the plans for the attack. All of the planners and the combatants were here. It was an secret meeting, because having everyone in at one time was very dangerous. Our plan could have been wiped out in seconds if they knew. Pro Evo, Your Honour, Sniper, er-no and RastaBillySkank all walked in together, and Loki, leader off the Attack Squadron, was standing before them. Next to Loki was Grix Thraves, leader of the Researchers, and in between the two was the commander of both the groups. His real name? Unknown. His alter-ego? Mr Snuggly. The name may sound furry, cuddly and gentle, but this man was the complete opposite. He only owned.....1 teddy. The others shuddered at this thought, and then sat down at a large round table, at which Loki, Grix and Mr Snuggly were now already sat, along with the Researchers. Mr Snuggly began to speak

"We all know this is a dangerous plan. But it is necessary if we want to keep our homes safe from them. We shouldn't have to wake up and discover our homes full of *canned meat* from them. And that is why we must do this. To protect our families, to protect ourselves and most of all, to stop the ...."

Mr Snuggly had almost finished his speech when a huge flying monster broke in. The Researchers (Lawless Fever, MJSwerve, RM18, DW and Microchips) all instinctively, hid their equipment and escaped to hide it, whilst the Combat team attempted to take down the monster. Before they could finish him off, though, he escaped, and for the rest of the plan, was seen no more.

"What....was that?" Pro-Evo stuttered, not really sure what to make of the experience

"That was what you were like. Before the colour change. Imagine, how evolution like that can change a person" said Loki. "And beware, because there are many more to come,"

Loki and his group managed to catch up with the Researchers, who were locking up the equipment. Except Grix, who met Loki and his team and apologised for his team's behaviour. MJSwerve grumbled about researchers researching, and that alone, but made his complaint too soft to be heard.

Mr Snuggly approached the leaders. He told them that the day tommorow was long, so they had better get off home. Of course, in a world like this, can you go home safely without being pushed away by the endless problem? No. But they still had to try.

Tuesday 6:00am

The squads were in a desolate part, where the enemy had yet to invade. It was originally called 'Pokemon', but many requests had been made to rename it.

"Today is the final day before we go into enemy territory. I need a report from both squadrons telling me EXACTLY what you have decided to do, and I will make the inevitably many amendments that I feel necessary." exclaimed Mr Snuggly. The combat group were ready, but the researchers worried. There report wasn't completely foolproof...

"Date - 9/7/02
Subject - G-2-R-1

The enemy base is guarded by many enemies who haven't really had a chance to decide whether they want to be like us or like them. And although many of the enemy change to us eventually, we'll have to take them down. Our sources tell us that few of the *red devils* are in at the moment, so the enemy have cloned one, one apparently called sexkid2002, into many forms. Some can fly, some can battle hard, some are immune to our weapons, everything. So we are going to use stealth, not brute force. We advise the combat group to kill at most 1 of the clones, or even better, the 1 original, simply because to keep the clones alive, they must keep the original alive. The entry to the base is rather simply. We require a keycard, but RM18 had developed a laser that is run up and down the scanner which allows entry into almost every card scanner guarded area.

Once inside the building, Loki will lead the troops past the tougher, more versatile guards. These are the people who are more than likely going to stay the way they are for the rest of their lives. And once again, the have not enough, so cloning has been used to take down any intruders. We believe that the original is zean, but he defies both systems, theirs and ours, using what they call a system called 'Blaze' which allows him infinite ammo, infinite weapons and for some odd reason, every mode, whatever that means. To pass this security level, Research recommends the use of a G-Cube, which interferes, disrupts and eventually disallows the use of the Blaze system. Without this, zean is deemed useless, and can be passed easily.

There are also people who have the qualities to be like yourselves but have misused them wildly in the form of a mysterious figure called Shaneo. His possibilites are endless (then again, so are Fisher Price's) so we must be careful. One advantage we do have is that he guards alone, so no clones to worry about, and he doesn't use and Blaze style system. The only thing we fear of him is his ability to Copy himself over and over, to confuse any intruders and gain him access into people's mids, especially those who have to the power to grant wishes, such as Mr Snuggly, Loki and our allies all over the world such as shroeder, fido dido and the lesser known yet still almighty odin. Still, we can pass through the copy system by using a scanner called the S-Type Engine, which scans databases for his DNA and deletes the copies from view.

If all the group are still intact as this point we can carry on upto the roof of the building. And if sexkid2002 rather than one of his clones was defeated originally the pressure is off for a while, because his clones inhabit this area. It is here that we will find illzen, special ops, who will brief the group on the location of the hostage. We have no name information or location information, and unfortunately illzen cannot contact us from inside the complex because of frequency distortions

That is all"

The finished reports were both handed into Mr Snuggly. The group 1 report was somewhat smaller, with many gaps referring to 'report 2', making the researchers worry understandable. Mr Snuggly reviewed both reports as the two groups made the finishing touches to there own techniques or gadgets. The combat group were somewhat laid back, occasionally 'borrowing' one of the researchers gadgets to 'check if it works'.

The super cling (ie silly string) was never returned

Tuesday 5:30pm

Everyone managed to find some seating or battered pillow to sit on as Mr Snuggly announced the findings of his reports.

"Group 1, I believe your plan of action to be satisfactory but not the best it could be. And perhaps slightly less passing the buck"

Loki, er-no, Pro-Evo, Sniper, Rasta and YH all sniggered to themselves, and after a stern stare from Mr Snuggly, he continued.

"Group 2, I believe your plan is one which few could ever collate. Congratulations"

Lawless, RM18, MJSwerve, Grix, DW and Microchips were all very pleased with themselves, even though the others were muttering under their breath. Still, at least both reports had been OK. Mr Snuggly continued

"Please remember that this is NOT the Army or any official group, so the way we run things here is completely different from they way they do it. So when we meet illzen, prepare for anything. And also, I'm not a mentor, simply a collaborator, and a source. That is all"

Mr Snuggly left the plains, and a few hours laters, so did everyone else, ready for the attack.

Wednesday 7:00am

The day had come. We were in the back of a trailer, not the most luxiourious of things, yet it wasn't much of a luxurious mission. We left the researchers back at base, and they had given us the following for our attack

*1 x G-Cube © RM18
*1 x S-Type Engine © Grix Thraves
*6 x Regulation Standard G-Con's
*6 x Taser's
*1 x Travel Scrabble

Each of us had one G-Con and 1 taser, Loki had the G-Cube (much to the others dismay) and er-no had the S-Type Engine. The mysterious base where the enemy lay was located in the FoG, so it was hard to see where we were going. The driver stopped around half a mile from location

"I is *a* no going *a* further" the driver said, so we jumped off the back and watched the only wait out we had, leave. Loki, er-no, RBS, Pro-evo, YH and Sniper trailed there way through. The FoG was getting denser as we reached the gates. The guards were approaching us, so Loki took the two of them out quickly, so that neither could sound an alarm. That would be the last thing they need. er-no ran up to the guards box, and logged the guards off duty on the computer system. er-no was quite the computer genius, and his editing skills were top-notch. They other 5 moved on as er-no finished his job. He caught up, and the 6 found themselves walking through what seemed a rather desolate place.

"It's quiet...too quiet" muttered Loki. Everyone groaned, he'd been going on about saying that for weeks

The at last reached some sort of building. It was fairly big, but they couldn't find an entrance. Instead, they saw one of the sexkid2002 clones. It as skulking about, muttering in what sounded like the language of texters, whilst we tried to pass it unnoticed. It was proving to be difficult for the squad, as the clone seemed to have very little site but extra-good hearing. Every time they made a step it *looked* their way, but with no visual proof (and being one of the malfunct clones, very little brain) it didn't investigate. We made it past safely, and discovered, at last, the entrance. Along with the entrance, what must of been, the REAL sexkid2002. He was of average size, average height, and since he noticed us, he obviously wasn't blind either. He jumped down and ran towards us, but instead of fighting them, he asked if they wanted to play a word game. Bemused, Loki instinctively pulled out his Travel Scrabble, and said if he won, he wanted an access card.

"Anything for a word game," said sexkid2002

and over the following 35 (and a half) minutes, he beat him. Twice. Whilst sexkid2002 contemplated the loss of the game, the squad moved forward, with a keycard added to their inventory. It was 10 minutes after they left that sexkid2002 realised what a stupid thing to do.

The squad moved inside. It was a lot warmer in here than outside in the FoG, but the team had to concentrate on the task at hand. They moved forward still, meeting a few of the zean foes on their way. Most were easily disptached by making conversation in proper English, but a few of them had their English improved, and confused even YH, master of words. It took a good few shots of the tasers to take that one down, as they had all only just realised that the G-Con's were just light guns, and no more. Still, they were good for temporarily disabling vision in a foe. Or amazing the foe simply because, and I quote, 'They're shineeeee'

It was stealth that got them to the real zean. After taking down a few clones and the troublesome clone, one of the slightly less dense managed to sound the alarm, so hiding was basically essential. Thankfully, they weren't caught, as they managed to distract the enemy using pieces from Travel Scrabble, which sexkid2002 claimed as his own, so no suspicion arose. sexkid was also far too embarrased to tell them intruders were around simply because he lost.

But it wasn't all hidey seekey, oh no. The real zean was much more intelligent than his clones. And he used his intelligence to his advantage. He called up Blaze, entered the 458975 digit code to activate *that* weapon from *that* game and before attacking complained about *that* cheat not working. Loading another cheat, giving him all cars, he zoomed round us. Everyone was getting rather dizzy, and er-no had fallen to the ground. RBS managed touse his taser to take out the car wheels, and zean came to a halt. Sniper, true to his name, got his G-Con and shone it right in zean's eyes, making cheat entry very difficult and to finish him off, Loki used the G-Cube, which has NO port for Blaze, obsoleting the Blaze immediately. With this final blow, zean fell to the ground, andhis last words...

"When is it coming out....?"

But there was no time to check SR and answer, for zeam was dead within seconds. And this time, there was no continue screen

They carried on, all looking tired, but for some reason, Loki looked more tired than others. Pro-Evo said it could be one of the side effects of using the G-Cube, so it was discarded. As they walked deeper into the complex, it once again was getting quiet. The seriousness was now seting in, so no movie quotes were recited, as much as Loki would have loved too. It was then that after about 5 minutes of silence, they could hear a noise echoing round the warehouse they were treading through. With both sexkid2002 taken down, as is his clones, and zean, and most of his clones, it was unlikely to be either of them

"Uh-oh," whispered YH

Then it appeared. It was a huge robotic machine with what appeared to be an absolutely maniac driver. Laughing insanely in his cabin, he shouted down

"YOU BANNED ME FROM YOUR WORLD! I'LL BANISH YOU FROM MINEEEE!" he screamed

You could hear simultaneous gulping ripple through the group. Then Pro-Evo spoke out

"It's Shaneo"

Everybody equipped themselves but this robot was immense and how can their weapons possibly beat its? It stomped towards them, and suddenly Pro-Evo jumped so inhumanly high it was a marvel to watch. He then spun round, broke the glass of the cabin and started to fight Shaneo hand to hand. All the others could do is watch as Pro-Evo fought. But no blood was spilt, or at least, no Shaneo blood. For many robots started surrounding them. One after the other, the warehouse filled. er-no whipped out the S-Type Engine, but it had to programmed for to evaporate, so the two in the cabin fought on. Still no blood was shed, when Shaneo jumped out and into another copied robot. The S-Type was running, but was going to eliminate all the robots, that included the one Pro-Evo was in. As it evaporated to robots, Pro-Evo said something inaudible, and was seen disappear along with the robot. Shaneo, on the other hand, escaped the Engine in his robot, and disappeared. Shaneo still alive and Pro-Evo disappeared, it would appear things were starting to go wrong.

The squad had no time to mourn their loss though, and they swiftly moved on outside using the keycard. They heard a muffled shouting, and moved over to it's direction. It was illzen!

"I can't talk much, but I'll assume Shaneo is still much alive. The hostage.."

"What's his name?" asked er-no

"MattHen. He's locked up in one of the 3 cells just below us. See that gate over there?"

illzen pointed over to a not-so-far-off gate, which required the keycard we got from sexkid2002.

"Through their, then straight down. There aren't many guards, they're all concentrated at the front. The only guard that may be their is Shaneo, so take him out...somehow...and then return through this way. Don't worry though, I'll eliminate any enemies that could stand in your way on my way out. Got it?"

YH was swiftly writing this all down and when he nodded Loki confirmed to illzen that we were ready.

"Good luck illzen" er-no said

"Luck doesn't exist" he replied as he ran off

The squad made their way to the gate, and swiped through their keycard. The door opened, and they walked through, down some, as illzen said, unguarded steps, tasering down the security cameras on the way. It was about 5 minutes downwards before we reached the cells and to our relief found MattHen alive. They tasered out the lock and he walked out, apparently unhurt

"They..they wanted to clone ME too!" he stuttered. "They got zean and sexkid2002, but they couldn't ever convert me over to the enemy"

Then he told the team of how he got caught, and how it seems all of what we call the enemy or 'newbies' seem to get caught in the net of spam or suspicion. But MattHen is different. He had the ability to be one of us. And that was why we are here. Not to rid the world of the enemy, but to free the innocent.

They were heading back upto the top and out of the gate into the courtyard where they met illzen when a huge, thunder like noise could be heard. The whole squad turned, and feared the worst. Could it be him again. Then, to make matters worse, a slow moving Pro-Evo was wandering from the other gate! They ran over to catch him, but Pro-Evo fell to the ground. The noise which was coming from the sky began to have a distant figue. It was the worst that could happen

Shaneo

MattHen was told to run, and then the battle began. Sniper, RBS, YH and Loki all produced tasers and their G-Cons whilst er-no began to program the S-Type. The huge machine stomped down on YH, bringing him to the ground. Shaneo screamed from the cabin.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME NOW!"

Sniper turned and looked at the group, all of whom seemed tired. He pulled out an grenade he had been hiding 'just in case' and launched it straight at the machine. It hit the cabin right on, and Shaneo was hit bad. As Shaneo hit the cold ground, he shouted up at the machine

"A U T O !"

The robot started to move, even though it had no controller. All tasers were concentrating on the middle of the robot, where the door to all the technical components had burst off because of burnt out components. It was then the mechanical monstrosity shot 5 missles out it's arm, one of every character. Sniper avoided his, the er-no missile landed way off course but Loki, RBS and YH were all hit. They flew backwards, and the computer began to replicate itself in the way it's former controller did with so many literary pieces. er-no added the final lines of code to the S-Type engine in a last bid attempt

C:://COMMAND_ATTAK:LAUNCHDEL
C:://COMMAND_REMOVE:COPIES
C:://POINT -:-BLANK:RANGE
C:://SURE?
C:://Y
----I N I T I A T I N G----

The S-Type pumped into action. The copies were removed one by one, by the removal process was getting slower each time. Just as the penultimate copy was removed, the S-Type display showed this screen

C:://OVERLOAD:COPIES
C:://VOLUNTARYDESTRUCTSET?
C:://5..4..3..2..1
C:://SELF-DESTRUCTSET!
C:://SET
C:://COUNTDOWN:BEGIN:300S
C:://299S

er-no only noticed the screen at 239S and as the others attempted to take down the machine he yelled code red at them all. Immediately they stopped, turned, and looked at er-no. And in a split second, ran. They ran for their lives through all the corridors. The Auto on the machine had no idea what to do, so instinctively followed them.

What followed was a rapid chase down the corridors of the complex. The remaining few clones which hadn't been taken down by the destruction of there origins followed us to, but soon fell behind. They weren't exactly physically fit, and eventually were crushed at the robot. Back in the courtyard, the screen displayed...

C:://30S=EVACUATE!

The team were at the gates now, ahead of the machine simply because it couldn't run quickly through the immensely low roofs of the complex, and occasionly it stopped and burst out. It was just emerging from the building when the screen back in the courtyard displayed

C:://0S----OVER

There was silence. Then a massive implosion inside the complex, followed by fires raging through the corridors. The machine turned round, only to be engulfed, and furthermore, destroyed by flame. Now it was our turn to run. The driver who brought us here could be seen a few hundred yards ahead. He had obviously come back out of guilt. We ran to reach it, but the fire was fast, and Pro-Evo was stumbling after his evaporation experience. Loki carried him for the a couple of hundred yards but couldn't keep up with the others. Always loving the chance to use a movie quote.

"You guys go on without me!" he yelled

"N-E-V-E-R!" scream YH as he ran back to take Pro-Evo off Loki for the last hundred yards. The fire almost hit YH when it resided and was sucked back into the complex. Loki gasped.

"Oh god, GET IN THE VAN!"

MattHen met them in the van as the driver put his foot down at full speed. They were a couple of miles away when the whole complex completely exploded, and the fire rushed everywhere within a 3-mile radius. Loki looked out through the back and could see it worryingly close. But it never reached them

"It's over. And the threat is gone" said Sniperr

They were all gone. The copier, the cheater, the worded wonder. All off them. And our *homes* were free. Free again of that plague. But it will come again. Spam never lies low. Spam will return

But thats for the next squad to sort.

------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
C R E D I T S
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
Mr Snuggly Spam Riddance Dept. Chief
Loki Newbie/Spam Combat Leader
Grix Thraves Newbie/Spam Research Leader
er-no Technician-Combat Team
Pro-Evo Combat Specialist 'A'
RastaBillySkank Combat Specialist
Sniper Combat Specialist
Your Honour Combat Specialist
RM18 R & D Specialist 'A'
Lawless Fever R & D Specialist 'B'
MJSwerve R & D Specialist
Microchips R & D Specialist
Dead Wonder R & D Specialist
illzen Special Ops
MattHen Hostage/Respectable Newbie
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
O T H E R
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
Note all representations of people in this, may I emphasise, STORY, are
to my knowledge, false, and any things that actually happened in real
life as well as here is purely coincidence. Please also note this story
is © Paul Holmes 2002. If you have any comments or complaints to :

[email protected]
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
P O S T I N G I N F O
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
This was originally posted on the Special Reserve forums and may not be
used anywhere else except if Paul Holmes a.k.a Fuzzy has given posting
permission
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
Tue 09/07/02 at 19:34
Regular
"previously phuzzy."
Posts: 3,487
Tbanks everyone for the comments, much appreciated
Tue 09/07/02 at 19:26
Regular
Posts: 5,630
I'm impressed - great story there Fuzzy.

Worth a GAD in my book...

:D
Tue 09/07/02 at 17:43
Regular
"95% organic"
Posts: 409
Top stuff. I've never been featured in an SR spoof/story before... and I've certainly no objections to being a member of 'Special Ops'!!

A right rivetting read!
: )
Tue 09/07/02 at 14:02
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Very good. Adding Travel Scrabble to list of weaponary made me laugh most. :0)
Tue 09/07/02 at 13:02
Regular
"previously phuzzy."
Posts: 3,487
Thanks to all of you, and I appreciate you taking the time to read it :D
Tue 09/07/02 at 12:23
"Stupid Newbie :D"
Posts: 550
Nat's is good, but I don't think its as good as this 'un, Fuzz spent a lot of time and creativity on this - whereas anyone can think up a quick joke topic (most people do it everyday for about 1-3 posts, for their GAD attempt, then log-off and don't participate in conversing - which is disappointing and tiring). I reckon for the effort put in here, it does deserve to win.
Tue 09/07/02 at 12:13
Regular
"Conversation Killer"
Posts: 5,550
Pointless Babble wrote:
> See now this is the day's GAD winner... and if it isn't, we mount an
> enraged storming of the SR HQ at midnight, pitchforks and flaming
> torches blazing - we WILL have Dr.Tonystein for his monstrous
> dabblings. ;)

I don't think this will be today's GAD winner. Natbuc's in the ps form is much much better. Still, this is a great story so well done fuzzy.
Tue 09/07/02 at 12:01
"Stupid Newbie :D"
Posts: 550
See now this is the day's GAD winner... and if it isn't, we mount an enraged storming of the SR HQ at midnight, pitchforks and flaming torches blazing - we WILL have Dr.Tonystein for his monstrous dabblings. ;)
Tue 09/07/02 at 10:23
Regular
"gsybe you!"
Posts: 18,825
Here you go Fuzzy!


I like the use of the newbies as obstacles!
Tue 09/07/02 at 08:58
Regular
"previously phuzzy."
Posts: 3,487
I hope you like the story. It's my first big one, so excuse tense/spelling errors
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
We all thought it was a masterful plan. We could help the world simply by ending a few lives. It appeared to be quite a simple job, and we just had to time it right. But we were wrong, and unfortunately, hadn't anticipated the a few of the enemy forces...

Monday 11:00pm

It was late, but it was only now that the select few had started to gather, to discuss the plans for the attack. All of the planners and the combatants were here. It was an secret meeting, because having everyone in at one time was very dangerous. Our plan could have been wiped out in seconds if they knew. Pro Evo, Your Honour, Sniper, er-no and RastaBillySkank all walked in together, and Loki, leader off the Attack Squadron, was standing before them. Next to Loki was Grix Thraves, leader of the Researchers, and in between the two was the commander of both the groups. His real name? Unknown. His alter-ego? Mr Snuggly. The name may sound furry, cuddly and gentle, but this man was the complete opposite. He only owned.....1 teddy. The others shuddered at this thought, and then sat down at a large round table, at which Loki, Grix and Mr Snuggly were now already sat, along with the Researchers. Mr Snuggly began to speak

"We all know this is a dangerous plan. But it is necessary if we want to keep our homes safe from them. We shouldn't have to wake up and discover our homes full of *canned meat* from them. And that is why we must do this. To protect our families, to protect ourselves and most of all, to stop the ...."

Mr Snuggly had almost finished his speech when a huge flying monster broke in. The Researchers (Lawless Fever, MJSwerve, RM18, DW and Microchips) all instinctively, hid their equipment and escaped to hide it, whilst the Combat team attempted to take down the monster. Before they could finish him off, though, he escaped, and for the rest of the plan, was seen no more.

"What....was that?" Pro-Evo stuttered, not really sure what to make of the experience

"That was what you were like. Before the colour change. Imagine, how evolution like that can change a person" said Loki. "And beware, because there are many more to come,"

Loki and his group managed to catch up with the Researchers, who were locking up the equipment. Except Grix, who met Loki and his team and apologised for his team's behaviour. MJSwerve grumbled about researchers researching, and that alone, but made his complaint too soft to be heard.

Mr Snuggly approached the leaders. He told them that the day tommorow was long, so they had better get off home. Of course, in a world like this, can you go home safely without being pushed away by the endless problem? No. But they still had to try.

Tuesday 6:00am

The squads were in a desolate part, where the enemy had yet to invade. It was originally called 'Pokemon', but many requests had been made to rename it.

"Today is the final day before we go into enemy territory. I need a report from both squadrons telling me EXACTLY what you have decided to do, and I will make the inevitably many amendments that I feel necessary." exclaimed Mr Snuggly. The combat group were ready, but the researchers worried. There report wasn't completely foolproof...

"Date - 9/7/02
Subject - G-2-R-1

The enemy base is guarded by many enemies who haven't really had a chance to decide whether they want to be like us or like them. And although many of the enemy change to us eventually, we'll have to take them down. Our sources tell us that few of the *red devils* are in at the moment, so the enemy have cloned one, one apparently called sexkid2002, into many forms. Some can fly, some can battle hard, some are immune to our weapons, everything. So we are going to use stealth, not brute force. We advise the combat group to kill at most 1 of the clones, or even better, the 1 original, simply because to keep the clones alive, they must keep the original alive. The entry to the base is rather simply. We require a keycard, but RM18 had developed a laser that is run up and down the scanner which allows entry into almost every card scanner guarded area.

Once inside the building, Loki will lead the troops past the tougher, more versatile guards. These are the people who are more than likely going to stay the way they are for the rest of their lives. And once again, the have not enough, so cloning has been used to take down any intruders. We believe that the original is zean, but he defies both systems, theirs and ours, using what they call a system called 'Blaze' which allows him infinite ammo, infinite weapons and for some odd reason, every mode, whatever that means. To pass this security level, Research recommends the use of a G-Cube, which interferes, disrupts and eventually disallows the use of the Blaze system. Without this, zean is deemed useless, and can be passed easily.

There are also people who have the qualities to be like yourselves but have misused them wildly in the form of a mysterious figure called Shaneo. His possibilites are endless (then again, so are Fisher Price's) so we must be careful. One advantage we do have is that he guards alone, so no clones to worry about, and he doesn't use and Blaze style system. The only thing we fear of him is his ability to Copy himself over and over, to confuse any intruders and gain him access into people's mids, especially those who have to the power to grant wishes, such as Mr Snuggly, Loki and our allies all over the world such as shroeder, fido dido and the lesser known yet still almighty odin. Still, we can pass through the copy system by using a scanner called the S-Type Engine, which scans databases for his DNA and deletes the copies from view.

If all the group are still intact as this point we can carry on upto the roof of the building. And if sexkid2002 rather than one of his clones was defeated originally the pressure is off for a while, because his clones inhabit this area. It is here that we will find illzen, special ops, who will brief the group on the location of the hostage. We have no name information or location information, and unfortunately illzen cannot contact us from inside the complex because of frequency distortions

That is all"

The finished reports were both handed into Mr Snuggly. The group 1 report was somewhat smaller, with many gaps referring to 'report 2', making the researchers worry understandable. Mr Snuggly reviewed both reports as the two groups made the finishing touches to there own techniques or gadgets. The combat group were somewhat laid back, occasionally 'borrowing' one of the researchers gadgets to 'check if it works'.

The super cling (ie silly string) was never returned

Tuesday 5:30pm

Everyone managed to find some seating or battered pillow to sit on as Mr Snuggly announced the findings of his reports.

"Group 1, I believe your plan of action to be satisfactory but not the best it could be. And perhaps slightly less passing the buck"

Loki, er-no, Pro-Evo, Sniper, Rasta and YH all sniggered to themselves, and after a stern stare from Mr Snuggly, he continued.

"Group 2, I believe your plan is one which few could ever collate. Congratulations"

Lawless, RM18, MJSwerve, Grix, DW and Microchips were all very pleased with themselves, even though the others were muttering under their breath. Still, at least both reports had been OK. Mr Snuggly continued

"Please remember that this is NOT the Army or any official group, so the way we run things here is completely different from they way they do it. So when we meet illzen, prepare for anything. And also, I'm not a mentor, simply a collaborator, and a source. That is all"

Mr Snuggly left the plains, and a few hours laters, so did everyone else, ready for the attack.

Wednesday 7:00am

The day had come. We were in the back of a trailer, not the most luxiourious of things, yet it wasn't much of a luxurious mission. We left the researchers back at base, and they had given us the following for our attack

*1 x G-Cube © RM18
*1 x S-Type Engine © Grix Thraves
*6 x Regulation Standard G-Con's
*6 x Taser's
*1 x Travel Scrabble

Each of us had one G-Con and 1 taser, Loki had the G-Cube (much to the others dismay) and er-no had the S-Type Engine. The mysterious base where the enemy lay was located in the FoG, so it was hard to see where we were going. The driver stopped around half a mile from location

"I is *a* no going *a* further" the driver said, so we jumped off the back and watched the only wait out we had, leave. Loki, er-no, RBS, Pro-evo, YH and Sniper trailed there way through. The FoG was getting denser as we reached the gates. The guards were approaching us, so Loki took the two of them out quickly, so that neither could sound an alarm. That would be the last thing they need. er-no ran up to the guards box, and logged the guards off duty on the computer system. er-no was quite the computer genius, and his editing skills were top-notch. They other 5 moved on as er-no finished his job. He caught up, and the 6 found themselves walking through what seemed a rather desolate place.

"It's quiet...too quiet" muttered Loki. Everyone groaned, he'd been going on about saying that for weeks

The at last reached some sort of building. It was fairly big, but they couldn't find an entrance. Instead, they saw one of the sexkid2002 clones. It as skulking about, muttering in what sounded like the language of texters, whilst we tried to pass it unnoticed. It was proving to be difficult for the squad, as the clone seemed to have very little site but extra-good hearing. Every time they made a step it *looked* their way, but with no visual proof (and being one of the malfunct clones, very little brain) it didn't investigate. We made it past safely, and discovered, at last, the entrance. Along with the entrance, what must of been, the REAL sexkid2002. He was of average size, average height, and since he noticed us, he obviously wasn't blind either. He jumped down and ran towards us, but instead of fighting them, he asked if they wanted to play a word game. Bemused, Loki instinctively pulled out his Travel Scrabble, and said if he won, he wanted an access card.

"Anything for a word game," said sexkid2002

and over the following 35 (and a half) minutes, he beat him. Twice. Whilst sexkid2002 contemplated the loss of the game, the squad moved forward, with a keycard added to their inventory. It was 10 minutes after they left that sexkid2002 realised what a stupid thing to do.

The squad moved inside. It was a lot warmer in here than outside in the FoG, but the team had to concentrate on the task at hand. They moved forward still, meeting a few of the zean foes on their way. Most were easily disptached by making conversation in proper English, but a few of them had their English improved, and confused even YH, master of words. It took a good few shots of the tasers to take that one down, as they had all only just realised that the G-Con's were just light guns, and no more. Still, they were good for temporarily disabling vision in a foe. Or amazing the foe simply because, and I quote, 'They're shineeeee'

It was stealth that got them to the real zean. After taking down a few clones and the troublesome clone, one of the slightly less dense managed to sound the alarm, so hiding was basically essential. Thankfully, they weren't caught, as they managed to distract the enemy using pieces from Travel Scrabble, which sexkid2002 claimed as his own, so no suspicion arose. sexkid was also far too embarrased to tell them intruders were around simply because he lost.

But it wasn't all hidey seekey, oh no. The real zean was much more intelligent than his clones. And he used his intelligence to his advantage. He called up Blaze, entered the 458975 digit code to activate *that* weapon from *that* game and before attacking complained about *that* cheat not working. Loading another cheat, giving him all cars, he zoomed round us. Everyone was getting rather dizzy, and er-no had fallen to the ground. RBS managed touse his taser to take out the car wheels, and zean came to a halt. Sniper, true to his name, got his G-Con and shone it right in zean's eyes, making cheat entry very difficult and to finish him off, Loki used the G-Cube, which has NO port for Blaze, obsoleting the Blaze immediately. With this final blow, zean fell to the ground, andhis last words...

"When is it coming out....?"

But there was no time to check SR and answer, for zeam was dead within seconds. And this time, there was no continue screen

They carried on, all looking tired, but for some reason, Loki looked more tired than others. Pro-Evo said it could be one of the side effects of using the G-Cube, so it was discarded. As they walked deeper into the complex, it once again was getting quiet. The seriousness was now seting in, so no movie quotes were recited, as much as Loki would have loved too. It was then that after about 5 minutes of silence, they could hear a noise echoing round the warehouse they were treading through. With both sexkid2002 taken down, as is his clones, and zean, and most of his clones, it was unlikely to be either of them

"Uh-oh," whispered YH

Then it appeared. It was a huge robotic machine with what appeared to be an absolutely maniac driver. Laughing insanely in his cabin, he shouted down

"YOU BANNED ME FROM YOUR WORLD! I'LL BANISH YOU FROM MINEEEE!" he screamed

You could hear simultaneous gulping ripple through the group. Then Pro-Evo spoke out

"It's Shaneo"

Everybody equipped themselves but this robot was immense and how can their weapons possibly beat its? It stomped towards them, and suddenly Pro-Evo jumped so inhumanly high it was a marvel to watch. He then spun round, broke the glass of the cabin and started to fight Shaneo hand to hand. All the others could do is watch as Pro-Evo fought. But no blood was spilt, or at least, no Shaneo blood. For many robots started surrounding them. One after the other, the warehouse filled. er-no whipped out the S-Type Engine, but it had to programmed for to evaporate, so the two in the cabin fought on. Still no blood was shed, when Shaneo jumped out and into another copied robot. The S-Type was running, but was going to eliminate all the robots, that included the one Pro-Evo was in. As it evaporated to robots, Pro-Evo said something inaudible, and was seen disappear along with the robot. Shaneo, on the other hand, escaped the Engine in his robot, and disappeared. Shaneo still alive and Pro-Evo disappeared, it would appear things were starting to go wrong.

The squad had no time to mourn their loss though, and they swiftly moved on outside using the keycard. They heard a muffled shouting, and moved over to it's direction. It was illzen!

"I can't talk much, but I'll assume Shaneo is still much alive. The hostage.."

"What's his name?" asked er-no

"MattHen. He's locked up in one of the 3 cells just below us. See that gate over there?"

illzen pointed over to a not-so-far-off gate, which required the keycard we got from sexkid2002.

"Through their, then straight down. There aren't many guards, they're all concentrated at the front. The only guard that may be their is Shaneo, so take him out...somehow...and then return through this way. Don't worry though, I'll eliminate any enemies that could stand in your way on my way out. Got it?"

YH was swiftly writing this all down and when he nodded Loki confirmed to illzen that we were ready.

"Good luck illzen" er-no said

"Luck doesn't exist" he replied as he ran off

The squad made their way to the gate, and swiped through their keycard. The door opened, and they walked through, down some, as illzen said, unguarded steps, tasering down the security cameras on the way. It was about 5 minutes downwards before we reached the cells and to our relief found MattHen alive. They tasered out the lock and he walked out, apparently unhurt

"They..they wanted to clone ME too!" he stuttered. "They got zean and sexkid2002, but they couldn't ever convert me over to the enemy"

Then he told the team of how he got caught, and how it seems all of what we call the enemy or 'newbies' seem to get caught in the net of spam or suspicion. But MattHen is different. He had the ability to be one of us. And that was why we are here. Not to rid the world of the enemy, but to free the innocent.

They were heading back upto the top and out of the gate into the courtyard where they met illzen when a huge, thunder like noise could be heard. The whole squad turned, and feared the worst. Could it be him again. Then, to make matters worse, a slow moving Pro-Evo was wandering from the other gate! They ran over to catch him, but Pro-Evo fell to the ground. The noise which was coming from the sky began to have a distant figue. It was the worst that could happen

Shaneo

MattHen was told to run, and then the battle began. Sniper, RBS, YH and Loki all produced tasers and their G-Cons whilst er-no began to program the S-Type. The huge machine stomped down on YH, bringing him to the ground. Shaneo screamed from the cabin.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME NOW!"

Sniper turned and looked at the group, all of whom seemed tired. He pulled out an grenade he had been hiding 'just in case' and launched it straight at the machine. It hit the cabin right on, and Shaneo was hit bad. As Shaneo hit the cold ground, he shouted up at the machine

"A U T O !"

The robot started to move, even though it had no controller. All tasers were concentrating on the middle of the robot, where the door to all the technical components had burst off because of burnt out components. It was then the mechanical monstrosity shot 5 missles out it's arm, one of every character. Sniper avoided his, the er-no missile landed way off course but Loki, RBS and YH were all hit. They flew backwards, and the computer began to replicate itself in the way it's former controller did with so many literary pieces. er-no added the final lines of code to the S-Type engine in a last bid attempt

C:://COMMAND_ATTAK:LAUNCHDEL
C:://COMMAND_REMOVE:COPIES
C:://POINT -:-BLANK:RANGE
C:://SURE?
C:://Y
----I N I T I A T I N G----

The S-Type pumped into action. The copies were removed one by one, by the removal process was getting slower each time. Just as the penultimate copy was removed, the S-Type display showed this screen

C:://OVERLOAD:COPIES
C:://VOLUNTARYDESTRUCTSET?
C:://5..4..3..2..1
C:://SELF-DESTRUCTSET!
C:://SET
C:://COUNTDOWN:BEGIN:300S
C:://299S

er-no only noticed the screen at 239S and as the others attempted to take down the machine he yelled code red at them all. Immediately they stopped, turned, and looked at er-no. And in a split second, ran. They ran for their lives through all the corridors. The Auto on the machine had no idea what to do, so instinctively followed them.

What followed was a rapid chase down the corridors of the complex. The remaining few clones which hadn't been taken down by the destruction of there origins followed us to, but soon fell behind. They weren't exactly physically fit, and eventually were crushed at the robot. Back in the courtyard, the screen displayed...

C:://30S=EVACUATE!

The team were at the gates now, ahead of the machine simply because it couldn't run quickly through the immensely low roofs of the complex, and occasionly it stopped and burst out. It was just emerging from the building when the screen back in the courtyard displayed

C:://0S----OVER

There was silence. Then a massive implosion inside the complex, followed by fires raging through the corridors. The machine turned round, only to be engulfed, and furthermore, destroyed by flame. Now it was our turn to run. The driver who brought us here could be seen a few hundred yards ahead. He had obviously come back out of guilt. We ran to reach it, but the fire was fast, and Pro-Evo was stumbling after his evaporation experience. Loki carried him for the a couple of hundred yards but couldn't keep up with the others. Always loving the chance to use a movie quote.

"You guys go on without me!" he yelled

"N-E-V-E-R!" scream YH as he ran back to take Pro-Evo off Loki for the last hundred yards. The fire almost hit YH when it resided and was sucked back into the complex. Loki gasped.

"Oh god, GET IN THE VAN!"

MattHen met them in the van as the driver put his foot down at full speed. They were a couple of miles away when the whole complex completely exploded, and the fire rushed everywhere within a 3-mile radius. Loki looked out through the back and could see it worryingly close. But it never reached them

"It's over. And the threat is gone" said Sniperr

They were all gone. The copier, the cheater, the worded wonder. All off them. And our *homes* were free. Free again of that plague. But it will come again. Spam never lies low. Spam will return

But thats for the next squad to sort.

------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
C R E D I T S
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
Mr Snuggly Spam Riddance Dept. Chief
Loki Newbie/Spam Combat Leader
Grix Thraves Newbie/Spam Research Leader
er-no Technician-Combat Team
Pro-Evo Combat Specialist 'A'
RastaBillySkank Combat Specialist
Sniper Combat Specialist
Your Honour Combat Specialist
RM18 R & D Specialist 'A'
Lawless Fever R & D Specialist 'B'
MJSwerve R & D Specialist
Microchips R & D Specialist
Dead Wonder R & D Specialist
illzen Special Ops
MattHen Hostage/Respectable Newbie
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
O T H E R
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
Note all representations of people in this, may I emphasise, STORY, are
to my knowledge, false, and any things that actually happened in real
life as well as here is purely coincidence. Please also note this story
is © Paul Holmes 2002. If you have any comments or complaints to :

[email protected]
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
P O S T I N G I N F O
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------
This was originally posted on the Special Reserve forums and may not be
used anywhere else except if Paul Holmes a.k.a Fuzzy has given posting
permission
------------------------------------ + ------------------------------------

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